Let's parody all ten movies!
- Thread starter Aldo
- Start date
I got it.
In Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Kirk makes a crude pass at the Deltan chick and is inflicted with the Curse of Delta IV, making all male Starfleet captains bald and horny for generations to come.
In Star Trek: Generations Kirk symbolises his 'passing the baton' to the next generation by presenting Captain Picard with his toupee, saying "You need this more than I".
In Star Trek: Generations Kirk symbolises his 'passing the baton' to the next generation by presenting Captain Picard with his toupee, saying "You need this more than I".
^ 
Well Nemesis did have everything that was in every previous trek movie...
A powerful ship heading towards earth which would result in its destruction....V'ger = Scimitar.
A major weapon capable of Planet wide destruction....Genesis device= Thalaron radiation.
The death of a Major character with the reset button in full view of everybody...Spock("Remember") = Data(B4).
A large unconvincing Tube flies toward earth.....Deep space probe = Shinzon.(I thank you!!).
A family relative causes problems for everybody....sybok = B4.
The Enterprise is on a peace mission.....Gorkon's escort = Shinzon's scimitar.
A evil madman who just does far to much yakking and not enough killing....Soran(Blah Blah Blah) = Shinzon(Oh god why am i bald Blah Blah Balh).
A hostile force from a more powerful ship board the enterprise....200 Borg = 6 Remen.
The captain gets beamed out just hes about to die in the final explosion...In the nick of time person emergency transporter = In the nick of Time Enterprise flying up the array.
A large profitable long lasting franchise disappears up its own ram jets....Nemesis = Nemesis.
All in fun you understand....
A powerful ship heading towards earth which would result in its destruction....V'ger = Scimitar.
A major weapon capable of Planet wide destruction....Genesis device= Thalaron radiation.
The death of a Major character with the reset button in full view of everybody...Spock("Remember") = Data(B4).
A large unconvincing Tube flies toward earth.....Deep space probe = Shinzon.(I thank you!!).
A family relative causes problems for everybody....sybok = B4.
The Enterprise is on a peace mission.....Gorkon's escort = Shinzon's scimitar.
A evil madman who just does far to much yakking and not enough killing....Soran(Blah Blah Blah) = Shinzon(Oh god why am i bald Blah Blah Balh).
A hostile force from a more powerful ship board the enterprise....200 Borg = 6 Remen.
The captain gets beamed out just hes about to die in the final explosion...In the nick of time person emergency transporter = In the nick of Time Enterprise flying up the array.
A large profitable long lasting franchise disappears up its own ram jets....Nemesis = Nemesis.
All in fun you understand....
In 'First Contact' the Borg break into Sickbay, only to be confronted by the holodoctor who gripes: "How come Voyager's EMH gets the sexy Borg?"
The scene in 'Insurrection' where Data inflates himself as an emergency flotation aid is accompanies by an loud 'breaking wind' sound.
Watching the DVD version of The Wrath of Khan reveals that certain moments were censored to avoid an R-Rating. For instance Kirk actually yells: "CUUUUUUUUNT!"
THE MOTION PICTURE
Kirk views the Klingon's attempt to destroy V'ger and asks: "What's with those funny ridges on their foreheads?"
Ilia: My oath of celibacy is on record, sir.
Kirk: Very proper, Lieutenant.
Ilia: As is your tendency to break Starfleet regulations.
Kirk: Er, of course...
Ilia: And your reputation as an interstellar libertine...
Kirk (whispering): All right, all right! My quarters in five minutes, OK?
Ilia (sighs with relief): Thank you sir. I didn't think I could hold on for much longer.
THE FINAL FRONTIER
Scotty rubs his entire body in lubricant, then a dozen members of his Engineering crew rupture themselves trying to push him into a Jeffries tube.
Spock: "As my captain said: what does God need of a starship?"
Bones: "You hosted 'In Search of Ancient Astronauts' and you never asked that question?"
THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY
Hearing a prophecy that James T. Kirk will bring disaster on their race, a Klingon warrior uses Suliban technology to travel forward in time. He slays Kirk on the prison planet in The Undiscovered Country (it was actually the shapeshifter that got rescued) and as proof brings back Kirk's hairpiece, a creature called a tribble. Which then starts to breed...
Spock: This is Lt Valeris, the first Vulcan to finish at the top of the graduating class…
Kirk: Spock, you didn't tell me Vulcan women had such great tits!
(Spock gives colourful metaphor)
Uhura: What about all that equipment we have on board for cataloguing gaseous anomalies?
Spock: The correct terminology is The Fart Detector, Lieutenant.
GENERATIONS
In order to maintain continuity with Voyager we overhear Tuvok on the Enterprise-B discussing with other the bridge crew the new 'bobbed-ear' Vulcan fashion.
Demora Sulu: "My father told me some interesting stories about you, Captain." (Leans forward and whispers) "I'll be in my quarters, dressed in my seifuku."
Kirk: "Scotty, keeps things together till I get back."
Scotty: "I donna know captain, just one more cheeseburger and I'll blow!"
Riker: "Bad food, brutal discipline...no women..."
Picard: "You're right Number One...send the holographic cabin boy to my Quarters."
NEMESIS
Data: "To hell with our orders. Lock and load!"
Picard: "What about the Laws of Robotics?"
Data: "R. Daneel Olivaw is a pussy."
A flashback scene we see Romulan agents abducting young Ensign Picard and forcibly shaving his head.
Another scene shows staid Picard after the climatic battle trying to avoid the amorous attentions of the female Romulan commander who's pissed on Romulan ale.
PICARD: *Admiral* Janeway? What, they promoted you because of your respect for the Temporal Prime Directive?
JANEWAY: Listen Baldilocks, every other Starfleet Admiral you've met has been plotting to subvert the Federation's core principles...I fit right in! Anyway, who are you to talk about the Temporal Prime Directive?
PICARD: Well at least I never ended up on the far side of the galaxy during a routine tactical mission into the Badlands! I suppose they've got you instructing in astro-navigation at the Academy?
JANEWAY: Talk to the hand, bitch. I'll have you know I made First Contact with more species than Captain Kirk, and without sleeping with any of the bastards!
PICARD: Sure, if I could just turn MY Number One into a lapdog, I'd be able to take credit for everything he does too!
THE VOYAGE HOME. Chekov has been captured by the US navy.
Officer of the USS Enterprise: "OK, who are you and what are you doing on our ship?"
Chekov: "My vame is Pavel Chekov. I am looking for nuclear wessels."
Enterprise officer: "You're not fooling anyone with that accent."
THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. Tuvok serves Captain Sulu a cup of tea.
Sulu: "Outstanding! Wait a minute, how come I haven't seen you before?"
Tuvok: "I have been retconned, sir."
Sulu: "Oh my God."
Praxis blows up.
Sulu: "Shields! And seatbelts!"
The scene in 'Insurrection' where Data inflates himself as an emergency flotation aid is accompanies by an loud 'breaking wind' sound.
Watching the DVD version of The Wrath of Khan reveals that certain moments were censored to avoid an R-Rating. For instance Kirk actually yells: "CUUUUUUUUNT!"
THE MOTION PICTURE
Kirk views the Klingon's attempt to destroy V'ger and asks: "What's with those funny ridges on their foreheads?"
Ilia: My oath of celibacy is on record, sir.
Kirk: Very proper, Lieutenant.
Ilia: As is your tendency to break Starfleet regulations.
Kirk: Er, of course...
Ilia: And your reputation as an interstellar libertine...
Kirk (whispering): All right, all right! My quarters in five minutes, OK?
Ilia (sighs with relief): Thank you sir. I didn't think I could hold on for much longer.
THE FINAL FRONTIER
Scotty rubs his entire body in lubricant, then a dozen members of his Engineering crew rupture themselves trying to push him into a Jeffries tube.
Spock: "As my captain said: what does God need of a starship?"
Bones: "You hosted 'In Search of Ancient Astronauts' and you never asked that question?"
THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY
Hearing a prophecy that James T. Kirk will bring disaster on their race, a Klingon warrior uses Suliban technology to travel forward in time. He slays Kirk on the prison planet in The Undiscovered Country (it was actually the shapeshifter that got rescued) and as proof brings back Kirk's hairpiece, a creature called a tribble. Which then starts to breed...
Spock: This is Lt Valeris, the first Vulcan to finish at the top of the graduating class…
Kirk: Spock, you didn't tell me Vulcan women had such great tits!
(Spock gives colourful metaphor)
Uhura: What about all that equipment we have on board for cataloguing gaseous anomalies?
Spock: The correct terminology is The Fart Detector, Lieutenant.
GENERATIONS
In order to maintain continuity with Voyager we overhear Tuvok on the Enterprise-B discussing with other the bridge crew the new 'bobbed-ear' Vulcan fashion.
Demora Sulu: "My father told me some interesting stories about you, Captain." (Leans forward and whispers) "I'll be in my quarters, dressed in my seifuku."
Kirk: "Scotty, keeps things together till I get back."
Scotty: "I donna know captain, just one more cheeseburger and I'll blow!"
Riker: "Bad food, brutal discipline...no women..."
Picard: "You're right Number One...send the holographic cabin boy to my Quarters."
NEMESIS
Data: "To hell with our orders. Lock and load!"
Picard: "What about the Laws of Robotics?"
Data: "R. Daneel Olivaw is a pussy."
A flashback scene we see Romulan agents abducting young Ensign Picard and forcibly shaving his head.
Another scene shows staid Picard after the climatic battle trying to avoid the amorous attentions of the female Romulan commander who's pissed on Romulan ale.
PICARD: *Admiral* Janeway? What, they promoted you because of your respect for the Temporal Prime Directive?
JANEWAY: Listen Baldilocks, every other Starfleet Admiral you've met has been plotting to subvert the Federation's core principles...I fit right in! Anyway, who are you to talk about the Temporal Prime Directive?
PICARD: Well at least I never ended up on the far side of the galaxy during a routine tactical mission into the Badlands! I suppose they've got you instructing in astro-navigation at the Academy?
JANEWAY: Talk to the hand, bitch. I'll have you know I made First Contact with more species than Captain Kirk, and without sleeping with any of the bastards!
PICARD: Sure, if I could just turn MY Number One into a lapdog, I'd be able to take credit for everything he does too!
THE VOYAGE HOME. Chekov has been captured by the US navy.
Officer of the USS Enterprise: "OK, who are you and what are you doing on our ship?"
Chekov: "My vame is Pavel Chekov. I am looking for nuclear wessels."
Enterprise officer: "You're not fooling anyone with that accent."
THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. Tuvok serves Captain Sulu a cup of tea.
Sulu: "Outstanding! Wait a minute, how come I haven't seen you before?"
Tuvok: "I have been retconned, sir."
Sulu: "Oh my God."
Praxis blows up.
Sulu: "Shields! And seatbelts!"
Chang: I can see you, Kirk.
Kirk: Chang.
General Chang: Can you see me? Oh, now be honest, Captain, warrior to warrior. You do prefer it this way, don't you, as it was meant to be? No peace in our time. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."
Kirk: There you are, hiding behind that console.
Kirk: Chang.
General Chang: Can you see me? Oh, now be honest, Captain, warrior to warrior. You do prefer it this way, don't you, as it was meant to be? No peace in our time. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."
Kirk: There you are, hiding behind that console.
^ Very funny.
Very funny.
TMP
Klingon One (subtitles): "Why do you have ridges on your forehead?"
Klingon Two (subtitles): "Why do you have ridges on YOUR forehead?"
Klingon Three (subtitles): "And why are we all speaking in subtitles? We Klingons have never done that before!"
Klingon Four (subtitles): "And what's with the gay biker look?"
Klingon One (subtitles): "Why do you have ridges on your forehead?"
Klingon Two (subtitles): "Why do you have ridges on YOUR forehead?"
Klingon Three (subtitles): "And why are we all speaking in subtitles? We Klingons have never done that before!"
Klingon Four (subtitles): "And what's with the gay biker look?"
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