Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #243: The One With a Spoiler in the Thread Title (EVERYONE DIES)

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway: So that's a Klingon IUD? Ouch!

Torres: Tell me about it!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Kim: "Guess who I'm supposed to be!
*crickets*
Give up? Harry Mudd! Ha! Stumped you, didn't I?"
*collective groan*

 

[Leviathan]

Star Trek Voyager: Wish.com version

 

[Leviathan]

Janeway: Our comm-badges are totally unaffected for some reason...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Ensign, we cancelled the Fantastic Four play for tonight. Oh, you didn't read the memo? No promotion for you, Ensign Thing."

Torres: "You think anybody else will notice we're wearing identical wigs?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "What is this? Some kind of long-range sensor scan of an unknown space phenomena?"

Torres: "A vagina. Since 7 was assimilated young, we're going to have to teach her about the birds and the bees."

"I knew I shouldn't have replicated a Dilophosaurus for a pet."

That moment when Harry yammers on and on and on for so long that you just vomit on yourself.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

The crew finds out why Janeway never lets anyone see her before she's had her first cup of coffee.

 

[Leviathan]

Kim: THIS is what happens when an ensign goes past it's Expiry Date.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kim: Changeling? That's crazy! I don't even know what that is!!!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Is Janeway a good witch of a bad witch? Let's throw a bucket of water on her and see if she melts...

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "Guys, when I said I wanted the hull plating so clean you could see my face in it, I didn't mean with me inside the ship!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "You see, Ensign, this is an example of why you don't get promoted: You came to a briefing with a mud mask on."

Perpetual Ensign Harry: "But how else am I supposed to exfoliate my delicate pours?"

 

[Leviathan]

Seven: All the 'reset buttons' are offline except for 'Alternate Identities'...oh...crap...

 

[tharpdevenport]

MEANWHILE, DECADES LATER ON TV...

It was then at the age of 73, Jerry Ryan realized Paramount would have her playing 7 of 9 until she looked like she was one slip in the shower away from death like Patrick...

 

[Finn]

Seven: (OS) Where did you get that picture? I don't recall appearing like that?

Shaw: (OS) Sorry. I can't tell you. Temporal Prime Directive

 

[Leviathan]

Torres: It's some kind of wig reversal field...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Torres: "It's a vagina."

Janeway: "Of course it's a vagina. I KNOW what a vagina looks like, trust me.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Chakotay: "I've gotten several complaints about your weird looks, so I'm going to say this for the last time: there are no changelings aboard Voyager!"
Tuvok: "That's exactly what a Changeling would say...."
Chakotay: *bangs head against wall*