Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #243: The One With a Spoiler in the Thread Title (EVERYONE DIES)

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Course: Oblivion

But first here're the winners of the last contest..

The highly coveted Best Fart Joke Award goes to @tharpdevenport with:

Tom still holding his breath three minutes after Tuvok farted.


@IMC Headquarters wins the esteemed Captains Choice Award with:

TOM: So...if we get fused in the transporter, do you want to go by Ham or Tarry?
HARRY: "Lieutenant."


@Laura Cynthia Chambers wins 3rd Prize with:

Paris: "I'm hot on his trail, Harry. That button thief's days are numbered."


@Nerys Myk wins 2nd Prize with:

JANEWAY: Mister Paris! What have I said about chewing gum on the bridge?


And the winner is @Oddish with:

Everyone thought he was dropping a sig heil salute. Little did they know, it was just a deodorant check...



Congratulations to the winners!

Here're th' new pictures..

Bonus Picture:

 

[Nerys Myk]

Someone was getting that last slice of pizza

 

[Oddish]

Wow... first prize. Cool. Thanks to all contestants, and of course @Orac

We'll have to see if a story comes to me. But here's a one-shot...

This is what happens when you leave your Voyager model in the car on a really hot day...

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Thank you Orac!







HARRY: Captain? Why did you permit Neelix to flood the ship with delta rays?





CAPTAIN JANEWAY: When he said he wanted to do something special for Captain Christopher Pike Day I didn't realize what he had in mind. I just thought he was going to cook something edible for a change.





SEVEN: You thought wrong. He failed. His Talaxian anatomy liquefied into an organic goo in the mess hall. I suggest we seal it off immediately.




MRS. COLUMBO: You should see my husband's car.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Torres: "Unfortunately, your plan to have Tuvok simply just hold his farts in, did not work, as demonstrated by this animated sensor image showing the shock waves his fart created. There is structural damage."

Tom: "Wow, what an amazing day! We all got promotions! Well, except Harry."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Harry: "Captain, Tuvok's farts have reached critical mass, explosive decompression; decks five threw nine are loosing integrity."

Janeway: "Suggestions?"

Tom: "Get in a shuttle, go to warp ten, do it again?"

Janeway: "Maybe later."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

"I know you don't like oatmeal, Naomi, but that's no excuse to throw it at me."

"What? The invitation said '+1', and everybody else was busy."

 

[tharpdevenport]

In an attempt to get promoted, Harry tried his best to make himself look like a giant warp-ten salamander.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Computer: "Zero results."
B'Elanna (muffled): "Try different keywords. I can't believe we're the first people ever to get our heads stuck in tribbles."
The Doctor (offscreen): "I'm not even going to ask how..."

 

[Oddish]

HAMMERHEAD HARRY: "Captain? Who exactly did you sign that contract with?"

KRAKEN KATHRYN: "Some weird looking tentacle faced alien. He called himself Davy Jones."

STINGRAY SEVEN: "I have the contract right here. The ship and its crew are now completely indestructible. But we now have to name ourselves after assorted aquatic creatures."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Before coffee and make up, Janeway was not a morning person.

7 of 9: "They told me cooties were not real, and like a fool I went and did it with the Commander."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

"Excuse my odd appearance. I'm having a bad face day..."

"I told you not to upscale the show with AI!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

I suddenly have the urge to flip a coin and kill Batman.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Tuvok (thinking) "Who took the cookie from the cookie jar?" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_stole_the_cookie_from_the_cookie_jar?)

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Q: Tom Paris, you are the father!

Janeway/Torres: We've got to switch our heads back before someone sees. After what I did to Tuvix, I'll never live it down!

Torres/Janeway: We need something to stabilize the plasma stream in the secondary buffer. What could we...?

Janeway/Torres + Torres/Janeway: Warp particles!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

JANEWAY: Harry? How in hell did Pepe Le Pew get on board and have the run of the ship?







HARRY: We think he escaped from Sandrine's using the Doctor's mobile emitter.





SEVEN: I have neutralized Mr. Le Pew. At great personal cost, I might add. He seemed infatuated with me for some reason. Like many of the other males on this ship.




JANEWAY: Thank passionless Borg efficiency. Well done Seven. Can you increase the structural integrity field to the hull?

 

[tharpdevenport]

That moment when the red alert sounds and you rush to the Bridge to take your station and tell everybody you were ding a mud facial, but when in reality you had a devastating diarrhea storm with a malfunctioning sonic toilet, and then realize they are sniffing the air and not looking at Tuvok...

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Janeway: When we get home, we'll come back to find our children.
Paris: I can't believe all our friends just abandoned them.

Tuvok: I did a search of the Earth cultural database on your Native American heritage, I haven't found anything remotely like anything you've described on the ship.
Chakotay: But the guy who told me about them said he was an expert!

B'elana: Nice butt.
Janeway: Flattery will earn you no special treatment. But thank you lieutenant.

Kim: Well, look on the bright side. I'm finally the Captain!

Janeway: Find all the matter on this ship that is less than nine months old and convert it to coffee. The coffee...must...survive...

Jeri Ryan: I'm in makeup that nobody could possibly find me attractive in, can I PLEASE just wear more comfortable clothes?!
Producers: No.

Bonus Picture:

Viewers in 1999: "This is an episodic network show, no way they can have this dark an ending right? Right? ...Right???"

 

[Oddish]

TOM: "Captain, do we really have to do this? I mean, it's like kicking a puppy."
JANEWAY: "Unless you want us to do it to you instead, I suggest you get on with it."
TOM: "Uh... right. I declare our annual Torture Harry Kim Day to be officially in session."

CHAKOTAY: "So, Tuvok. What are you going to do to Ensign Kim this time?"
TUVOK: "I am going to brig him for an inconsequential offense, reduce the temperature inside the brig to minus ten degrees, turn off the lights, and leave him there for five hours."
CHAKOTAY: "Nice. I'm going to cite him for untidy uniform, and make him scrub the plasma relays, without protective gear."

JANEWAY: "I made Mr. Kim dress up in French Maid lingerie and serve me coffee on the bridge. Did you do anything?"
B'ELANNA: "I dumped a thirty-liter container of corrosive engine room waste on his head. His face looks like hamburger now."

HARRY: "You guys suck."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Where did all the pudding go?"

Harry: "I don't know!"