Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #242½: The One With The Synthetic Parasites

[Orac]

Welcome to the first all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest of 2025!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: The Disease

But first here're the winners of the last contest..

@Leviathan breaks @tharpdevenport 's streak and takes home the Best Fart Joke with:

Welcome to the conference, please choose a seat in either the "farting" or "non farting" section


@tharpdevenport wins 3rd Prize with:

Robert: "Ah, what's my line again, Geneviève?"

LOOK OF IRRITATION

Kate: "It's Kate. Kate Mulgrew."

Robert: "Oh, sorry, still getting used to the last-minute re-casting. Hey wait -- Mrs. Columbo???"

LOOK OF IRRITATION


@Laura Cynthia Chambers wins 2nd Prize with:

Paris: "Sorry, nerd, this is the cool kids' table. Now, make like a banana and split."


And the winner is @Nerys Myk with:

Janeway: What do you make of it, Mr. Chakotay?

Chakotay: Uh, Captain. I'm over here.




Congratulations to the winners!

Here're th' new pictures..

Bonus Picture:

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Paris: "I'm hot on his trail, Harry. That button thief's days are numbered."

 

[Oddish]

Ha ha ha! Another contest. Congratulations as always to the winners, and thanks once again to Orac, our incomparable contest host.

You guys get another story this time: The Captain's Balls.

I really should start archiving these...

JANEWAY: "I'm missing several golf balls from my private golf ball stash. B'Elanna. Do you know anything about this?"
B'ELANNA: "Klingons don't do golf. We only like hitting things that hit back."

NEELIX: "The captain's golf balls are still missing, Mr. Vulcan. If I find out that you had anything to do with it, I'll..."
TUVOK: "It would be unwise to threaten me, Mr. Neelix, unless you feel inclined to have your head forcibly removed."

CHAKOTAY: "I don't know, Tuvok. I get the feeling that our golf ball thief is closer than we think. Maybe right under our noses."

TOM: "I was right on the bridge with the stolen golf balls, and no one noticed."
HARRY: "You're lucky you didn't have to talk."

HARRY: "So anyway, when the captain finally found out Tom had had her golf balls all along, she pulled out her five-iron and... well, let's say she hit the kind of balls you don't use on the golf course."

 

[tharpdevenport]

They said tharpdevenport could never loose an fart joke contest. It happened. ;-)

Tom: "I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the snu snu -- the spirit was willing, but the flesh was spongy and weak. What happened to you -- I saw you go over the guy's side."

Tom still holding his breath three minutes after Tuvok farted.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Tuvok: "The next person who whistles "The Wind Beneath My Wings" will suffer the consequences. Do I make myself clear?"
Neelix: (gulp) "Crystal."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIM: Yeah, once I get that 8-track installed and the Unicorn painted on the outside, this van's gonna be bitchin'

GIRL: Far out!

 

[Oddish]

Everyone thought he was dropping a sig heil salute. Little did they know, it was just a deodorant check...

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Paris: "Yikes. That is one ugly alien-of-the-week."

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Mister Paris! What have I said about chewing gum on the bridge?

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway (over comms): "Harry, blink once if you're okay and twice if you're in danger."
Kim: (flutters eyelashes furiously)
Girl: "You're awful cute when you do that! Hyuk!"
Kim (stage whisper): "HURRY UP!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway (over comms): "Blink once if you're okay and twice if you're in danger."
Kim: (flutters eyelashes furiously)
Janeway (over comms): " I was talking to the girl!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

B'Elanna: "Only my hairdresser knows for sure."

 

[Nerys Myk]

TORRES: What? All I said was Tom likes going downtown?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Torres: "Oh, yeah? Well, at least I didn't have salamander babies with a co worker."

Tom: "What's this?"

7 or 9: "It's called political propaganda."

Janeway: "Explain."

7 of 9: "Political propaganda is when a party bald-faced lies about a person or group on another side in order to demonize said party and win a political victory."

Tom: "Doesn't that make you a lying shitbag?"

7 of 9: "Of course it does. In this example you see a political figure from the Earth year 2025 who motioned he was giving his heart out to people at a rally, and so the shitbags n one side took a still and claimed he was giving a NAZI salute. Then to further perpetrate this wilful manipulation of inept followers, they also edited a short video that stopped right as he had his hand up. That decade was full of shitbags."

Janeway: "Thank Zod we don't live in such times anymore and people are smart enough to recognize a lie when they see one and not try to propagandize others to believe their lives and false beliefs."

7 of 9: "Indeed. Next up on today's agenda: Tuvok has provided us with a scientific video explaining how he really doesn't 'fart' and that since we are not scientists, we are too stupid to realize we are wrong. It's called the AlGorythem."

 

[Orac]

Elon: Hi Mum!

 

[Oddish]

SENSEI MUSK: "This is called a sideways knife-hand strike. It can be aimed at the bridge of your opponent's nose, his temples, or the side of his neck."

 

[tharpdevenport]

TORRES: What? All I said was Tom likes going downtown?

Janeway: "I know. We shared a shuttle together one time...

Trust me: you haven't lived until you've felt the smoothness of a salamander tongue."

Torres: "Is it weird if I talk about his crazy warp ten salamander penis?"

Everybody again looks at her.

 

[Oddish]

At that moment, Seven decides that romance is definitely off the table. Since the only ship that sinks as a result is C/7, no great loss.

 

[Orac]

Chakotay: Did you get that thing I sent you?

 

[Leviathan]

...the coveted fart joke win! Thanks!

Tom: Harry stole my warp 10 shuttle, why?

Harry: First we take the shuttle to Warp 10, then we do it salamander style!