Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #240: The One Where Tuvok, Paris and the EMH are Marooned on a Desert Planet

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Gravity

But first here're the winners of the last contest..

First up, the recipient of the highly coveted Best Fart Joke goes to @tharpdevenport with:

Tuvok Fart Odor Elimination detail.


The 2024 Prize for Outstanding Achievement in Austerity goes to @Leviathan with..

Star Trek: Budget Cuts


@A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees win Third Prize with:

Tom: This is an example of early 21st century spaceflight. People back then idolized science fiction, and they put some has-been actor on it.

Harry: Really? Why?

Tom: HIs co-stars didn't like him. I think they were trying to get rid of him.


@Oddish comes Second Place with ..

HARRY: "This is just gross. Can we go back to the live feed from Seven's sonic shower?"


And the winner is @Warp 10 (Pepperoni) with..

Kim: Captain, sensors are detecting some kind of... time warp.
Janeway: It's just a jump to the left, then a step to the right, put your hands on your hips...

Congratulations to the winners!


Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

TFTW Orac

I auditioned for Han Solo, but I only got the carbonite scene 1/2 right...

 

[tharpdevenport]

I created a fart monster, and now I can't get away from it. ;-)

Janeway: "What is that?"

7 of 9: "Local races call it a space memory hole, where in the past authoritarian aliens would take items and data that goes aganst what they are promoting, and would toss it into the space memory hole where it would be torn apart into trillions of pieces."

Torres: "But nobody knows if that really works. It needs testing."

Janeway: "Computer, transfer all data pertaining to how I screwed over trillios ofbeings when I made that deal with the Borg onto a memory drive and beam it into the memory hole opening."

7 of 9: "Done. It has been sucked in and obliterated."

Janeway: "Now all proof the original ensign Kim died and I let an alternate reality Kim take over."

7 of 9: "Done. It has been sucked in and obliterated."

Janeway: "Now any record of where I endangered the ship by entering a strange nebula just to get energy to make coffee."

7 of 9: "Done. It has been sucked in and obliterated."

Janeway: "Now any records that I had salamander babies with Tom."

7 of 9: "Done. It has been sucked in and obliterated."

Janeway: "Also don't forget any record about the Borg children and the Borg baby. Starfleet will want to know what happened to them, no doubt."

7 of 9: "Done. It has been sucked in and obliterated. Also, you are a horrible horrible person."

Janeway: "Now any records of my interference in the space time continum that Section 31 might want to know about."

7 of 9: "Done. It has been sucked in and obliterated."

Janeway: "Well, that should just about do that. Probalby will get promoted to Admiral for some reason when we get home. Janeway to Mr. Paris -- set a course for the nearest alien race I can screw over so we get a few light years closer to Earth."

"Am I disgusted or am I horny over finding the live feed to 7's sonic shower? Not really sure..."

7 of 9: Quietly over the comm badge, "Horny..."

 

[Orac]

Tom: Surely there's some way to get Tuvok's fart stank out of the shuttle?
EMH: Nope. And don't call me Shirley.

Spock: Sorry Joe, I'm forbidden to pull your finger by a promise.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Captain Brandon: "Did you get me the thing, you know the thing."

Spock: "Yes, sir, we got you the beeping chair. It's your next logical step. Mr. Spock to storage - bring the chair. Let's go, Brandon."

 

[Orac]

Tuvok: We ain't found shit!

Spock: Bad news Joe, we've been cancelled.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Lt. Paris: "Captain, where does that wormhole go?"

Mistress Janeway: "Who cares, as long as the shuttle with the Borg children and salamander babies made it threw. Mr. Tuvok, torpedo that wormhole out of existence."

Tuvok: "I do solemnly swear to never fart again."

Kim: "Hey, wait a second -- that's not a swear to hand, that's the Vulcan hand -- he's lying to us!"

Tuvok: To himself, "They're on to me..."

 

[Orac]

Paris: Where'd th' cheese go?
EMH: I don't know.

 

[Oddish]

JANEWAY: "Bad news from the crew... Mr. Tuvok's split personality from when he mind melded with Suder has reemerged. He's now divided into a good half and an evil half."

GOOD TUVOK: "I sincerely hope that you all live long and prosper."

EVIL TUVOK: "I think I'll beat Neelix to paste with a skillet. Then I'll rip out Mr. Chakotay's intestines, and use them to strangle that little idiot, Paris. And then I'll hide in Seven's sonic shower, and..."

TOM: "Why are you hiding on this backwater moon?"
EMH: "Mr. Tuvok threatened to decompile my holographic matrix. You?"
TOM: "He tried to strangle me. And you wouldn't believe what he was using."

NARRATOR: "Captain Janeway thought she had the misbehaving and flatulent Vulcan locked up. But he escaped the brig, made his way to an escape pod, and took a hidden wormhole to a pre-warp desert planet... where he would wreak unimaginable havoc on the unfortunate locals."

 

[Orac]

Tuvok: No Mister Paris, I have not found any rude and amusingly shaped stalagmites.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Captain, we're entering the sandbag nebula."

"Oh, fuck!"

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Chakotay (thinking): "Oh, for the love of..."
Chakotay (speaking): "Have you tried turning it off-"
Janeway: "-and turning it on again? Yeah. Didn't work. Anyway, as I was saying..."
Chakotay (mumbling): "I didn't mean the computer."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "Captain, we're now in orbit. Sensors indicate all inhabitants are underage girls with shiny long-flowing well-kept hair and not a parental unit to be found."

Joe: "Warm up the the thing you know the thing, the transportersmajigs, get a shuttle ready, and have a bottle of Navage Nose Cleaner at the ready to get these puppies ready!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Chacotay: "Turns out Tuvok's theory was right: your sonic toilet has somehow formed a connective wormhole to an innocent alien race in another galaxy. They're not happy about it."

Janeway: "Give the Borg their coordinates. I'll give them something to complain about..."

 

[Orac]

Spock: Where'd th' cheese go Captain?

Biden: WHUT?!

 

[tharpdevenport]

"What if you found a portal to another part of the galaxy? What if it went to the future -- what would you find?"

...SLIIIDEEERRRSSSSS...

Mallory: "Professor, what did you find?"

Professor: "Well, it appears, Mr. Mallory, that a fellow human being screwed over milliions of people to get back to Earth faster."

Wade: "What a monster -- we'd never do that."

Professor: "Had inappropriate sexual relations with another while flying in the face of God as giant salamanders and have salamander babies, which mysteriously vanished. Then took on children of an enemy, who promptly mysteriously vanished as well. Alien plagues, a collective of cyborgs who are eliminating countless trillions of races across the galaxy, murderous savage races, leoola root, and wooden first officers."

Mallory: "Get us the hell out of this hell hole future."

 

[Orac]

Spock: The area of penetration will no doubt be sensitive.

Biden: WHUT?!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Tuvok (offscreen): "Lieutenant, are you playing video games at your station again?"
Torres: "No, sir. (goal horn) Nooo! Come on, Brodeur, you're better than this!" (smacks console)"

 

[tharpdevenport]

7 of 9: "Captain, I have located the intersteller bunghole."

Janeway: "Suggestions?"

Chacotay: "T.P. for the bunghole."

 

[Oddish]

Chacotay: "T.P. for the bunghole."

Torpedo, Photon?