TOS Caption Contest #129 - Time

[Outpost4]

I've got to tell you my all-time favorite joke:

Farmers grow apples where I live. I was driving through an orchard last fall when, turning a corner, I saw a farmer under an apple tree with pigs all around him. I stopped and watched the farmer grab a pig and held it up in the tree. The farmer strained underneath the weight of the pig as it ate an apple. Finishing, the pig was put down and the farmer grabbed another pig and held it up in the tree. I couldn't believe it. Being the considerate guy I am, I didn't go up to the farmer and say, are you freakin' nuts? Instead, I got out of my car and asked him politely, "Err, doesn't that take you a long time to feed your pigs that way?"

The farmer looked at me and said, "What's time to a pig?"

This is my philosophy on changing out the caption contest.

Plus this last week I came up with a really good mix in my recording project with Hans, I moved out of half my house for remodeling and I was without Internet and power on two separate days. I also thought you folks could run for a day or two just on sewage jokes and I was right. But more to the point, what's time to a pig?


Last week had wins by cooleddie74, the 4th hanson bro and Nerys Myk. This means we have all the generations covered: getting old, pretty old, and definitely old.

Romaine: Wait a minute Scotty, you actually believe women who say size doesn't matter?

Furious Dry Humping.


It was all they had.

MCCOY:Dude, I am so posting this on YouTube!

Plus we had a truly weird story from Shatmandu with the appropriate caption by Rat Boy.

Sulu: "This time, I promise not to just squeeze your buttcheeks and beat off."



***Based on a True story.***

Two of my co-workers dated for a year, and she dumped him because, among other reasons, he would never have sex with her, he would just squeeze her buttcheeks and beat off.

Now, he and I can be talking about very serious issues, budgets or pricing or pay scales, and I have to think about running over my own dog to keep from giggling.

Joe, leadfoot

Unfortunately, Mira Romaine doesn't have a dog to think about.

It just doesn't get any better than that.

But I know you folks will try this next week with these three pictures. All come from the best source for caption contest pictures out there, the Props Re-used thread.

Take your time to caption these. After all, what's time to a pig?


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (21x)

Plus one this time for a total of 22!
cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (11x)
Dohlman
DrBob (9x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (23x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (10x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Johnnyracefan
John_Picard (4x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (5x)
Mistral
Mojochi
M'Sharak (13x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (26x)

Plus one this time for a total of 27!
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (35x)

Plus one this time for a total of 36!
Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (18x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (23x)

Plus one this time for a total of 24!
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Super Grover
Tan Ru
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)

Plus one this time for a total of 4!
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (16x)

The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Triskelion (12x)

Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Zachery Smith

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Since we got the new dietician, I haven't taken a shit in a week.
McCoy: And I'm starting to pee blue!

Spock's nickname was Malware.

[redshirt]One in seven is gay.[/redshirt]

 

[Gertch]

"Comeon Bones, who uses a fork when eating Styrofoam chunks?"

Worst Spock photoshop ever.

Background music: Booma chicka wow wow

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "What is time to a pig? I finally get it!"

Kirk: "Just eat your enlarged Lucky Charms."

Worker: "You know I can see you there, right?"

Redshirt: "Everything was nice and balanced until you barged in, Paul!"

 

[Outpost4]

You did not want to forget your password in the 23rd century.

 

[Outpost4]

Redshirt: I'm sorry but you have to leave. You aren't good looking enough.

 

[Triskelion]

McCoy: Resequenced protein cubes...caloric enzyme nodes...adenosine soup...carbonutrient kebab...and still with the spam!

Spock always thought the best maintenance was a swift reboot to the ass.

Hey good looking! We'll be back to pick you up later!
Um Ted, the Mr Microphone doesn't go down your pants.

 

[Rat Boy]

Redshirt: *Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!*

 

[Geckothan]

McCoy: I asked for RED blocks with my blue blocks, NOT yellow and pink
Kirk: At least you don't have to eat a bowl of diarrhea with yours

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes again?!?
McCoy: I know. What I wouldn't give for a nice plate of melon slices.

 

[Geckothan]

Can we get this redshirt out of here before we all get struck by lightning?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Space is disease and danger served in disgusting colored cubes on cold dishes.
Kirk: Shut up and eat it, Bones!

 

[LadyPenelope]

McCoy: I'm tellin ya, Jim, I moved the cup with my mind!
Kirk: You've had too many giant dolly mixture sweets, is more like it.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Odd, like that you remind me of Rand... Unable to decide whether to spit or swallow."

Pink Panther theme plays...

Redshirt: "God, I'm so depressed."
Blonde: "I can't wait till the Doc synthesizes a cure for the Tom Cruise virus."
Brunette: "We've been grinning like idiots for five days now."

 

[Rat Boy]

Stealth Spock: "Somehow this is McCoy's fault."

Stealth Spock travels back to March 5, 2008 to prevent the Running Spock gag from ever happening.

Riker: "Didn't that new crewman look just a little familiar?"

Chakotay: "Hold it! I get the feeling we're being followed."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

and a new meme is born. Stealth Spock we salute... Where did he go?

 

[Rat Boy]

and a new meme is born. Stealth Spock we salute... Where did he go?

And almost a year after Running Spock got his start. I wonder if Outpost4 did that on purpose.

McCoy: "I don't get it, Jim. First Carl Spock, then Running Spock, then Pointing Spock, now Stealth Spock. All I got's the dude with the purple hat and the clone that rubs people's asses."

Kirk: "Could be worse."

McCoy: "How so?"

Kirk: "How does 'Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy' strike you?"

*pause*

McCoy: "I see your point."

 

[Outpost4]

and a new meme is born. Stealth Spock we salute... Where did he go?

And almost a year after Running Spock got his start. I wonder if Outpost4 did that on purpose.

Sorry, I'm not that smart.

Spock will get you, coming or going.

 

[Triskelion]

Is that...plomeek?

And Vulcan peanut butter cups were born.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I don't get it, Jim. First Carl Spock, then Running Spock, then Pointing Spock, now Stealth Spock. All I got's the dude with the purple hat and the clone that rubs people's asses."

Kirk: "Could be worse."

McCoy: "How so?"

Kirk: "How does 'Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy' strike you?"

*pause*

McCoy: "I see your point."

Uncontrollable Diarrhea McCoy: "Uh OH!"

Kirk: "Not again."

Nimoy: "Bill, it's Leonard. We need to talk about you being angry about not being in the movie."

Dr. Spockhatten: "It's March 5, 2008; I'm running down a corridor. It's March 8, 2009; I'm sneaking around a corridor."

Redshirt: "Look, bub, this is a swingers party. If you don't bring a broad, you can't join in."

Kirk: "Don't worry about him. He just likes to watch."