Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #242: The Great Borg Caper

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Dark Frontier

But first here're the winners of the last contest..

First up, the recipient of the highly coveted Best Fart Joke goes to @tharpdevenport with:

"Star Trek: Voyager: Innerspace"

Paris: "Captain, sensors are indicating violent electrical build up inside Tuvok's anus -- he's about the blow like never before!"

Janeway: "Brace for impact!"

Harry: "Wait, if we're in Tuvok's butt, then where is Tuvok?



@Nerys Myk wins 3rd prize with:

Janeway: And then on my second day as chief science officer we scanned a nebula...

Chakotay: Kill me now.


@Laura Cynthia Chambers comes 2nd with:

Tuvok: "We shall try it once more. And this time, please remember the choreography."


And the winner is @tharpdevenport with:

Tu-Dogg: "Chill, I have arrived. Let's get this inappropriate and criminal freak out on."

FAAARRRTTT

Tu-Dogg: "That was a bonus."




Congratulations to the winners!

Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[Oddish]

Yay! New contest! Congratulations to the winners, and thanks as before to Orac, for letting me make use of my warped sense of humor yet again.

No story right now, but I hope you enjoy these stand-alones...

JANEWAY: "I'm going to say it one more time, ensign. 'The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain'."
ENSIGN DOOLITTLE: "The rine in Spine stays minely in the pline."
JANEWAY: "ARGGHHH!!!"

"On the morning of Stardate 52619, I was sitting at the crew meeting, pondering the shambles that my career and love life had been reduced to. Little did I know that the worst was right around the corner."
- From the Autobiography of Harry Kim, 2393 edition.

ANNIKA: "Dad? The Christmas tree lights are overloading again."

Seven and the Queen took some time off from their plans to conquer the galaxy to head to Tertiary Holomatrix 47 and run Tom's "Last Action Hero" program.

Kate Mulgrew poses with the REJECTED version of the Fear Clown from "The Thaw".

 

[Finn]

Tuvix: (OS) *runs away, screaming in terror*

 

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway: I was thinking something like this for my official Holo-portrait.

Paris: She called a staff meeting for this?

Chakotay: Tell the Captain her Holo-portrait in ready.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway: What do you make of it, Mr. Chakotay?

Chakotay: Uh, Captain. I'm over here.

 

[Oddish]

Or maybe, if you didn't like my first idea...

For Voyager's next talent night, Captain Janeway demonstrates her mastery of ventriloquism with her dummy, Mortimer.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"I'm a little teap pot, short and stout..."

Tom: "I thought she drank coffee, not tea. Im confused."

"I'm sorry, Katherine, they didn't like your Tea Pot song.

7 of 9: "Why is he wearing underwear? What is the use of this in a hologram. It is illogical."

Bord Queen: "Computer, remove underwear."

UNDERWEAR VANISHES.

7 of 9: "Nice..."

Commercial Announcer: "Breath free and clear now with the portable transporter air deodorizer! Good for your quarters, your bathroom, your Ready Room, and pungent Vulcan flatulence from Vulcans named Tuvok and the even deadlier breed: Tuvix! Communicate now, staff as awaiting your subspace message now!




Warning: may cause the holodeck to malfunction and holograms to kill you."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Chacotay: "Ensign Kim would like to know if you've made your decision on his promotion yet. Also, he used up all the coffee energy rations for the month and drank all your coffee."

 

[Orac]

Janeway: Pull my finger Mister Kim.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Queen: They really are quite repulsive with any implants or devices.

 

[Oddish]

JANEWAY: "I've gotten Ensign Kim killed twice, gaslit him by telling how good he is but refusing to promote him, let an alien lifeform nearly eat him alive, and dropped a career-destroying reprimand on him for something that really wasn't his fault. Is there any new torture I can inflict on him?"
CHAKOTAY: "How about if you promote Mr. Paris back to lieutenant, right in front of him."
JANEWAY: "Perfect."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Janeway to transporter room. One to beam anywhere. Chakotay is giving his after mission report in person.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Robert: "Ah, what's my line again, Geneviève?"

LOOK OF IRRITATION

Kate: "It's Kate. Kate Mulgrew."

Robert: "Oh, sorry, still getting used to the last-minute re-casting. Hey wait -- Mrs. Columbo???"

LOOK OF IRRITATION

 

[CaptainCalvinCat]

"I'm afraiiiiiid."
"I knooooowww".

 

[tharpdevenport]

Lt. Columbo: "Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, honey, it's this investigation. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Kate Loves a Mystery voicing the dummy: "Knock knock."

Lt. Columbo: "Who's there?"

"Not you anymore."

 

[Orac]

Borg Queen II: Look what Borg technology can do!
7: I don't like it. Put some clothes on him.

7: For some reason I cannot articulate, I still don't like it.

 

[Oddish]

BORG QUEEN: "You've been playing the 'Dress the Vulcan' game for hours. Perhaps we should return to updating the Assimilation Database."
SEVEN: "Not just yet. Computer, replace Starfleet uniform with a pair of shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, pineapple motif."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Borg Queen II: Look what Borg technology can do!
7: I don't like it. Put some clothes on him.

7: For some reason I cannot articulate, I still don't like it.

7 of 9: "Of course -- it's missing a Penisrock and optional Ass-Rubbing Clone attachment."

 

[Leviathan]

Welcome to the conference, please choose a seat in either the "farting" or "non farting" section

 

[tharpdevenport]

I think Leviathan may actually win the Best Fart Joke this time. It's like I've been the Oprah of that contest, if it were magazine.