Voyager Caption Contest 125: The Trouble with Tom

[Captain Kathryn]

Salutations, Voyager fans! There were sooo many hilarious captions from last month it was hard to choose. Enjoy the wins and the new contest!

JANEWAY: I'm a bit of a mess till I've had my morning cup of coffee.
EMH: Coffee ain't gonna help.

ANDY DICK HOLOGRAM: People got tired of me? That's impossible! When did this happen? 22nd century? 23rd century?
DOCTOR: Actually it was long before you even died.
ANDY DICK HOLOGRAM: WHAT?!

EMH (thinking): It's GOOD to be the Doctor!

Thanks for the Win!

Doc: But it can't be! You are truly in love with Paris, for some reason, and you think you are in love with me only because I resemble your father when I was younger with hair, who you wish you were closer with….
Real Torres: What?

Doctor: "My penis is right down here."

"I'm not a real boy..."

EMH: Not the face!

"EMH to bridge. Captain, I must protest, I thought that all medical staff would be armed!"

"I'm ... I'm hollow? The store said I was solid chocolate!''

Doctor: "You're not my arm! What are you?
Owl: "I'm an owl."
Doctor: "O RLY?"

Had to pick 2 this time. Too many great ones of the Doc's arm!

"Catarina! Your doctor, he a picture, but ... he no look good! I redraw him, for you ... see? And already, now, he start to look better. Leave everything to me, Catarina."

JANEWAY: It worked, I changed the past. SEVEN! Is Seven okay?
DOCTOR: Yes, but everybody else on the ship except you and I are Borg drones.
JANEWAY: I finally restored the timeline!

---

Here are the new captions for the next contest! This time, we're highlighting our favorite sexy badboy pilot and the other half of Voyager's power couple, Tom Paris! Have fun and caption away.

 

[Hutchy01]

TFTW and love the new avatar!

Janeway: Tom, you can't chase every woman you see.

Mcneill: I need to find a new agent ...

Doctor: Mr. Paris if you want to stop him writing that atrocity you may want to change your aim ...

Torres: Imax just not good enough for you?

The best part of this scene is the face of the woman in the background ... is she amazed someone would be prepared to touch that "food".

 

[Nerys Myk]

TOM: At least I still have a winning personality.

JANEWAY: Yeah, you keep thinking that.

As a courtesy to those around you, please silence your communicators.

TOM: It's a shame a frail with gams like that got iced.

JANEWAY: Are you even speaking English???

 

[Triskelion]

Paris: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
Boy: I don't know, Ronald Reagan?

Paris: And she thinks she needs her morning coffee!

Proton: Well it's just been rescinded!
President of Earth: He's dead, Jim.
Buster: Fascinating.
Arachnia: Up yer shaft!
Proton: Bad Yeoman!

Torres: That's the Creature from the Black Lagoon?
Paris: No, the honeymoon video from Threshhold.

Paris: We said we'd both call Kes and see who she comes to. No fair covering yourself in sauce!
Neelix: Well, you gave her 3D glasses!
Kes: Ooh, lint!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Paris added more surprise to Neelix's Leeola Root Surprise.

 

[tharpdevenport]

This may be the second only time I've won twice in one caption contest thread, ever. Cool.


I wanted to put a picture of Gordon Ramsay over Paris, throwing that food, with a harkening back to another winner a contest or two ago, but I couldn't find a picture good enough. The caption: "I thought I told you enough with the fucking leola root!"

Brannon Braga and Jeri Ryan: The Sex Tape -- in 3D: With Borg Implants

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PARIS: Arr, matey! Avast ye, scallywags!
BOY: What?
PARIS: Wait, National Talk Like A Pirate Day hasn't made it to this planet?

PARIS: You see Captain, I have come to an epiphany. My newly evolved intellect has led me to discover that evolution is actually something that occurs between generations, based on survival needs for the species at the time, and not along a predetermined path. Furthermore, if I actually were 'evolving' and my genes were mutating, it wouldn't cause me to suddenly change into what my body might look like if I were born with those genes. It would much more likely just kill me. Therefore, either this is all some weird dream, the Doctor and every scientist on the ship is completely incompetent, or Q is screwing with us. I've abducted you because Q likes you, and I intend to offer you to him to get him to stop.

JANEWAY: Tom, make a note. We're changing the ship's uniforms. These look cooler and are far more comfortable.

B'ELANA: Tom, I'm confused. Are you a bad boy who plays by his own rules or a total fanboy dork?
PARIS: A little from column A, a little from column B.

PARIS: I told you no trans-fats!

 

[Nebusj]

Salutations, Voyager fans! There were sooo many hilarious captions from last month it was hard to choose. Enjoy the wins and the new contest! :tech man:

Thank you!

Paris: ``That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!''
Janeway: ``Now he thinks he's Popeye. Bonk his head again.''

Paris: ``So why don't I feel happy?''

Captain Proton: ``There. That should shut up that snarky jumpsuited guy and his two talky robot pals.''

Torres: ``So the big reveal is ... it's aliens? I don't get it.''

Fun-Time Activity Puzzle! Can you spot the ship's Laundry Officer in this scene?

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Torres: Isn't the holodeck already 3D?

Paris: Frogs' Legs? Those were my children!

 

[2takesfrakes]

WooHOO!!! Thanks for the win >: )

"Neelix, I was just in the Men's Room & not only did you not give me a courtesy flush, but you didn't wash your hands, either ... Filthy Hyæna!"

 

[Captain Kathryn]

I was torn between choosing that image or the one where Tom is sitting there covered in spaghetti.

 

[2takesfrakes]

GEORGE LUCAS: "... I have a bad feeling about this."

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Rumor has it you find bald guys sexy after meeting Picard… we will see...

 

[Triskelion]

Paris: Body...rejecting...earth...tones!
Boy: Earth tones?? I don't understand!
Janeway: Damn you, Prime Directive! Which I'm sure is somehow relevant to this improbable situation!
Boy: WHAT OTHER TONES CAN THERE BE?!?!?!

 

[Triskelion]

Buster: Cancel my subscription to your magazine!
Proton: No no, it's got to be pithy and cool, like: McGoodbye, dead meat!
President of Earth: Have a nice day - in hell!
Arachnia: A gun in the hand beats two in the chest!
Buster: Pasta and bagels, baby!
...
Janeway: Who programmed those crickets?
Paris: I had a feeling.

 

[Finn]

Paris: Damn it! I'm not gonna get pregnant with more salamander kids!

 

[Catarina]

Paris: Damn it! I'm not gonna get pregnant with more salamander kids!

Dangit, you beat me to it :-)

Here is mine: (In reference to Lineage)

Paris to Janeway while in labor: Next time you get to be the pregnant one.
(and boy was he right )

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Paris: Damn it! I'm not gonna get pregnant with more salamander kids!

Dangit, you beat me to it :-)

Here is mine: (In reference to Lineage)

Paris to Janeway while in labor: Next time you get to be the pregnant one.
(and boy was he right )

LOL I just realized he does look like he's having pregnancy pains. I love his pain face

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Someone, hold me - quickly! I can feel the leola root kicking in ..."

 

[Catarina]

"Someone, hold me - quickly! I can feel the leola root kicking in ..."

Janeway: Young man, save yourself. I share a bathroom with my crew, it's never pretty on Leola root day