Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #553: Visitors!

[Herbert]

Picard: What's with your arms? They just hang like salamis.
Ensign Extra: He walks like an orangutan.
Picard: Better call the zoo.
Ensign Extra: Reer...
Picard: What?
Riker: <offscreen> ssssss...
Ensign Extra: Cat-ty..

 

[Timewalker]

Picard to security officer: Has Wesley Crusher been conducting more unauthorized experiments? I'm sure this LEGO character was no more than 4 centimetres tall this morning.

 

[Tenacity]

Riker: Before we begin, I have a request.
Ambassador: Of course.
Riker: Would it be possible for your deputy to take his hand off my thigh?

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: I've got that same tile pattern on my bathroom floor.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Christmas gift from your grandmother?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "You're adorable. Can I hang you on a giant tree like an ornament, beam you out into space, and destroy the tree?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

AMBASSADOR: First, let's drop the pretense. We're actually Klingons from the 2250s.

 

[Captain Crow]

Jarok: How dare you assign me a non-speaking extra in a season 1 and 2 onesie! I demand to have someone who speaks in a collared two piece!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: When do the other two stooges arrive?

 

[Catarina]

Data: You are doing it incorrectly.
Geordi: what?
Commander Riker would never display his posterior in a way that would give an alien an advantage.
He stands with this back straight and his knee at a 90 degree angle. This shows that while he has a bad back the opposing team will still see his strength. He's posturing. You are submitting.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.
DATA: It is equipped with Warp Engine. It will hit "88 miles per hour" before it leaves the shuttle bay.

 

[Tenacity]

Data: You are obviously preparing to desert and abandon us.
Geordi: No no, that's not it at all.
Data: I will summon Rose to stun you.

 

[Jedman67]

WORF: Did you like my christmas present?
K'EHLEYR: You promised to send me bloodwine, instead I got prune juice! What am I supposed to do with 8 cases of prune juice!?!?!
WORF: Sell it to Quark?

 

[f14peter]

K'EHLEYR: "Worf, I love you! Don't you love me?"

WORF: "While I am still fond of you, and once considered us becoming mated, I'm afraid I no longer think of us that way"

K'EHLEYR: "Please take me back, I promise I'll be a good Klingon girl"

WORF: "No"

K'EHLEYR: "I"ll braid your hair, make that rokeg blood pie you like, by hand -"

WORF: "Not possible"

K'EHLEYR: "Pleeeeeeease Worf, I'll do anything, even have your baby"

WORF: "Completely out of the question!!!!!!!!!!!!"

K'EHLEYR: "Um ... yeah, about that part ..."

 

[Qonundrum]

Riker: "I'm sorry Mr. Vase, but our other Visitor via teleconference deserves a chance to speak as well. Lady Diana, what do you think about our upcoming vacation on Risa with these very special guests?"

 

[GeorgeKirk]

Captain's Log, Stardate 43210.-1: While Admiral Jarok's offer to turn over Romulan shoulder pad technology might change the balance of power in the quadrant, his knowledge of Romulan hairstyling techniques could set the Federation back by centuries.

 

[Catarina]

Stewart: [noting the posture] Did the both of you attend the same acting school?

 

[Catarina]

Frakes: Their foreheads are different. There is no need to add bad taste in attire to give us the sense they're aliens.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

La Forge: "Can I help you?"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: I didn't realise this hotel had bell boys.

Worf: I'm just amazed I had a love interest who's leaving alive. You should visit again to celebrate that.

Alien: WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN MY VASE?

Data: Geordi, it is only one day a year. There is no need to run from "May LaForge be with you" jokes.

Riker: Oh, you guys! Yeah, we had a big war with you recently. Amazing we completely forgot about you till five minutes ago.