Since rape is a component of many womens' experience, why not show it in fiction? Sure, it's painful to read or view, but it's also *real*.
It surprises me that women would want to exclude that. It feels sadly like shame--something we don't talk about.
I don't think it's so much that rape/abuse
shouldn't be brought up. It's how often and for what reasons they're brought up that could be the problem.
Anyway, this theory seems to be speaking more about the undignified deaths of powerful female heroes, and how they're only used to further the stories of the male ("real") heroes. This isn't really about abuse. I would again say that VOY, the TV show, doesn't really have this problem. The PB books absolutely do.