Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #534: Family Time

[Mojochi]

Picard: You're still stomping the grapes with your feet, aren't you?

Data: it would be wise for you to scale back your sanctimonious cant about being superior

Lore: I can't. Get it? cant/can't? It's funny because you're a halfwit

Worf: Welcome, mother

O'Brien: Someone is beaming her away

Worf's Mom: Well... it was nice seeing you again. You 2 have a nice life together

Bev: Has anyone ever told you, that you have your father's eyes?

Wes: No

Bev: Good. We don't want that little bit of morbid ghoulishness making it past the operating table

Kyle Riker: You don't have kids? Lucky bastard

 

[Nerys Myk]

KYLE: From the way Will talked I though you'd be taller, hairier and well...French.

 

[Captain Crow]

Robert, football hooligan voice: Always bangin' on 'bout ya fookin' flagship and dat fit bird wit big baps dat sits next ta ya all fookin' day. Ya fink you're fookin' betta den us mate? YA FINK YOU'RE FOOKIN' BETTA DEN US MATE?! Oi! I'm fookin' French!

Mrs. Rozhenko, happy sing song voice: Guess who badly beefed in the transporter beam!

[Alexander, stiff as a board, falls over]

Riker: Could you two please take your staring contest somewhere else? I wanna look up porn and rub a few out before I gotta go on duty.

 

[Leviathan]

Beverly: Tom Paris is really Nick Locarno.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Robert: So anyway, it turns out there was already a "Robert Picard" in SAG, so I just put an "O" on the end of the surname for my screen credit. I'm playing an Emergency Medical Hologram of all things.

Lore: If you think I'm a dick, you should meet B4.

Worf: Hello Mother... Wait, I'm Russian?!

Picard OS: If you need someone to talk to about your accent/nationality confusion, let me know.

Crusher: Wes, we all make mistakes. Even lethal mistakes. No one will hold the death of one patient against you.

Wesley: Mom, I didn't kill a patient, I'm not a Doctor...

Crusher: NO ONE WILL BLAME YOU.

Picard: So you like having sex with Enterprise chief medical officers? We're going to get along fine.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Will's Voice (VO): "Welcome to the Things You Missed Out On Because You Weren't Really A Part Of My Life Wax Museum."
Kyle: "Not very subtle, is he?"

 

[Triskelion]

Beverly: When a Zylorpian loves a Kremdolphi, he puts his Zylorp into the Twangle and grimbles his sporadifier.
Wesley: Neat!
Beverly: Off you go, then.

Lore: Did you hear about the new printing presses on Zylorp?
Data: No, what?
Lore: Oh, they're making all the newspapers.
Data: EVIL.

 

[Tenacity]

Robert: "So, how much of this years product have you gone through?
Picard: "This is the last of it."
Robert: "Apparently we're going to be putting the "no need for money" thing to the test.

 

[Mr Soak]

Jean-Luc: I could make better wine if I was old and senile.
Robert: Over my dead body.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard, sarcastically: Flat room temp Cheerwine. Yum.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robert: Jean-Luc, be honest: What do you think of the latest Chateau Picard vintage?
Jean-Luc (muttering): Yak urine.
Robert: What was that?
Jean-Luc: Oh, I'm sorry, I meant...delicious.
Robert: Thank you, brother!

 

[Captain Crow]

Robert: DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!

[Jean-Luc sighs]

Robert: GOBSHITE!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JACKIE: Sa ah towd 'em ah wor french 'n owned eur vineyard.
BOBBO: 'n thee bowt it?
JACKIE: Aye 'n t' best part is it thee cone lookin for uz they'll nivva check Yorksha!

 

[Mr Soak]

Jean-Luc: How much wine do you have?
Robert: A whole vinyard's worth. Why?
Jean-Luc: Oh, just killing time until @LeadHead posts results.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Gates: "Did you say 'Make out'?"

Will: "Ah, I don't think that scene is in the script..."

Gates: "I thought you'd never ask!"

Will: "I need an adult!"

 

[Triskelion]

Lore: <shipwide> WOULD COUNSELOR TROI AND WESLEY CRUSHER PLEASE REPORT TO THE BRIDGE. COUNSELOR TROI AND WESLEY CRUSHER, PLEASE REPORT TO THE BRIDGE IMMEDIATELY.
Data: Aww dude, that's evil.
Lore: <shipwide> DATA OUT
Data: EVIL!

Wesley: Mom I have a question and I want your honest medical opinion. Who do you think is smarter - me or Sheldon Cooper?
Beverly: I think you should go to Counselor Troi with questions about intelligence quotients.
Wesley: I did, and her professional opinion was that we were both epic dorks.
Beverly: Well, you can't argue with science.

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!