Hi Honey, I’m Home
Two security officers were waiting outside the Captain’s quarters after dinner. They escorted Buck to the transporter room and then stood at ease by the door, watching Buck as if there was nothing else for them to do or look at. At the console, the transporter chief made quiet adjustments, his expression neutral and professional.
Not very long later, Spock entered with a small equipment case in hand. La’an followed closely, carrying a neatly folded set of clothing.
“Aww, gifts for me?” Buck smirked. “You shouldn’t have. I didn’t get you anything.”
La’an didn’t blink. “You gave us the threat of interplanetary war by volunteering to get involved in diplomatic affairs you barely understand.”
Buck’s smirk faded slightly. He glanced at Spock, then straightened his shoulders and replied with mock seriousness, “Your concerns have been noted.”
La’an wasn’t amused. “You’re outfitted to pass as a commercial trader from Rigel V. Civilian, off-world, low profile. Being human helps. Just don’t quote old movies or share 21st-century parables, and you might actually blend in.”
She handed him the clothing. Buck unfolded the bundle: a gold tunic with long sleeves, a black vest, rugged matching trousers with a brass buckle, and a pair of knee-high boots that looked ready to sprint or fight.
“Not bad,” he muttered. “Looks like something Han Solo would wear if he had a tailor.”
La’an blinked. “Who?”
Buck waved it off. “Never mind,” he sighed, unembarrassed, as he began to change into the offered outfit.
La’an didn’t flinch. She also didn’t turn away, hands clasped behind her back, watching without comment.
Spock, for his part, remained impassive and focused on organizing the items within the equipment case.
Buck slipped out of the standard-issue shipwear, folding them with surprising neatness before tugging on the rugged trader’s gear. The fabric was lighter than he expected but layered for utility, comfort, mobility, and well-fitting.
“Wow,” Buck said as he wiggled his toes inside the comfortable boots. “These might be the best-fitting pair I’ve ever worn. Feels like they were molded to my feet.”
“They were,” La’an replied with a nod.
Spock attached a slightly dented brass brooch to Buck’s vest. “This is a universal translator,” he explained.
“Acquired from a non-Federation trader,” La’an added. “Untraceable by Starfleet or Romulan Systems.”
Spock handed him a slim, matte black earpiece. “It will render local dialects into English and your speech into theirs using a built-in modulator.”
“It’s old,” La’an said, “but sturdy. Traders this close to the Neutral Zone prefer tech that won’t trip sensors.”
Buck looked at the broach pinned to his vest and then caressed it before slipping the earpiece into place.
“How do I sound?”
“Like someone who’s about to get us into trouble,” La’an said dryly.
Spock produced a final item, a short, dark cylinder with twin prongs at one end.
“A neural disruptor,” he said. “Close contact, silent, non-lethal. Effective on most humanoids. It will not trigger Kane’s perimeter alarms and registers completely inert on most scanners when inactive.”
“So basically, a taser,” Buck said, giving it a quick flip in his hand.
“With fewer lawsuits,” La’an added.
“Are you sure you haven’t been to my time before?” Buck asked, brow raised.
“I can neither confirm nor deny,” La’an replied, eyes narrowing just slightly. “But I can confirm I’m not the version of me you met before today.”
“Time travel does get confusing, doesn’t it?” Buck nodded.
“More than you can imagine,” La’an said quietly.
Spock held out a small metallic disc, no larger than a coin.
“Emergency transport beacon,” he explained. “Activate it when you’re clear for extraction. You’ll have approximately seven seconds before beaming out.”
Buck studied it. “Seven seconds. Guess that’s just enough time to run, dive, or die.”
“Try for the former,” La’an suggested.
Buck slid the device into his pocket and rolled his shoulders in the new outfit.
“You sure I’ll pass for a local?”
“A local? No,” La’an replied with a smirk. “But compared to some of the off-worlders Kane’s hired? You’re practically invisible.”
Buck stepped onto the transporter pad.
Spock stepped beside the transporter chief, who glanced up from the console and said, “Coordinates locked. It will be as if you never left.”
Buck exhaled slowly, stealing one last look at the room.
“Hi-ho,” he muttered. “It’s off I go.”
The transporter shimmered to life, and the room dissolved in a swirl of light.
Buck materialized in his cell with the now-familiar pull in his gut, accompanied by the silent tearing and stitching of molecules snapping him back together, atom by atom.
One blink, he was on the Enterprise, and the next, he was where he was several hours before.
Same damp stone.
Same flickering torchlight.
And the same musky scent of rust and mold baking into still, stagnant air.
Buck licked his itching teeth as he turned slowly, half-expecting klaxons or boots pounding the stone. But the silence held. No alarms. No shouting. Just the slow drip of water and the weight of a place that had forgotten how to change.
“Hi, honey,” he muttered. “I’m home.”
He approached the door and tested the bars. They were solid, which was no surprise considering that nothing in this prison seemed built for second chances.
His eyes swept the cell: same metal basin in the corner, same wall-mounted spigot with a corroded handle, same narrow cot bolted to the wall. But this time, something new caught his eye.
A jagged sliver of metal, barely visible, bent awkwardly from beneath the cot frame.
He crouched and tugged at it. It resisted. He tugged again. And again.
“Come on…”
Twenty wiggles later, the fatigued weld finally gave. The piece snapped free with a soft metallic crack.
“Good to know physics hasn’t changed,” he muttered, turning the shard over in his hands.
He crossed to the spigot, wedged one end of the sliver into its mouth, and bent it into the shape of a crude, angular ‘7’.
“This worked in high school.”
Back at the door, he worked the bent shard into the space between the faceplate and strike plate. Twisted. The metal caught. He jiggled the bolt tight, stiff.
Then click.
The door creaked open.
Buck grinned.
“Still got it.”
He slipped into the hallway, hugging the shadows. Stone gave way to old steel. Heavy doorways. La’an’s voice echoed in his head.
Two cells down.
He found it. Another reinforced door. He peered inside.
A man sat on his cot in the dark.
Mid-thirties. Gaunt but not frail. Uneven beard. Eyes sharp and wary. He watched Buck like a cornered animal, not ready to trust but very ready to fight.
“Who are you?” the man rasped.
“Name’s Rogers. I’m here to get you out.”
The man’s shoulders tightened. “No, you’re not. You work for Kane. You people have already tried this trick once. I’m not falling for it again.”
Buck exhaled. “La’an sent me.”
That earned him a pause. Not belief, but not rejection either.
“I don’t have an MRE,” Buck added, “but I’ve got a key and a way out.”
“Good for you.”
Buck sighed. “We don’t have time for this.”
He opened the door, stepped inside, raised the disruptor, and pressed it against the man’s defensively raised hand.
Click. Flash. Slump.
Barrett collapsed back onto the cot.
“They say never look a gift horse in the mouth,” Buck grumbled, hoisting Barrett over his shoulder, “but no one warns you the horse might not have time for your paranoia.”
He moved quickly now, retracing his path. The corridor angled toward a heavy service door, thick and reinforced, sitting at the top of the same short flight of stairs he descended when he arrived. Through the narrow slit, Buck spotted two guards beyond.
He set Barrett down just in front of the door’s path and then angled his body as a deliberate obstruction.
Buck then leaned close and called out:
“Hey! Get the door. It’s Domino’s.”
He waited in silence, crouched to one side. The soundlessness was interrupted by hissing hydraulics struggling against Barrett’s weight.
Perfect.
The first guard stepped forward, frowning.
Buck lunged, grabbed the man’s collar, yanked hard, and drove his bent fingers into his throat. The man wheezed. Buck swept his legs, slamming him down the stairs.
The second guard stepped in over Barrett’s body just in time to catch a boot to the gut.
Buck twisted, rolled him over his shoulder, and sent him flying after his partner.
Both guards landed in a tangled, groaning heap.
“Guess I still have a few moves left,” Buck muttered, dragging Barrett through the metal door. He dropped the crossbar over the door, securing it before rolling Barrett over his shoulder.
Barrett’s lightweight frame wasn’t much of a challenge for Buck as he retraced his steps through the prison. He followed the torchlit corridor up the sloping ramp, where the flickering flames gradually gave way to yellow, electric lights. From there, he moved quickly toward the entrance. Outside, the enclosed prison yard lay in shadow, mostly silent except for the wind rustling a lone torch just beyond the entrance. Rounding the corner, Buck spotted a vehicle sitting unattended. It was squat, armored, and ugly, like a jeep that had been pumped full of steroids and bad decisions.
Big wheels. Exposed framework. Slatted armor. No guards in sight.
“You’ll do,” Buck muttered.
He rolled Barrett into the back with a grunt, then worked his way into the driver’s seat. No key slot. Just a start button. He pressed it.
The dash lit up.
“Electric,” Buck nodded. “Nice.”
After a tentative press on the pedal, he found there was no shifting to worry about. The controls responded just as he expected. He floored it, tearing across the yard, bouncing over gravel and broken concrete. The front gate loomed ahead. A wall of rusted steel, laced with heavy chains and at least one visible lock.
“Hope you’re built like you look,” Buck growled.
The gate crumpled on impact, metal shrieking as the vehicle barreled through. Sirens erupted behind him, and floodlights snapped to life, sweeping the walls and perimeter. Buck didn’t look back.