So I Left The House Without Makeup

[Kestra]

... twice! In the past week. Once because I was sick and the other time because it was a 7 hour car journey and I just didn't feel like it.

If you don't know my deal, I have a ton of scars on my face and I imprison myself with makeup. I won't leave the house without it. I won't answer the door without it. I won't pick up food in a drive-thru without it. So this was a huge deal for me.

The reactions weren't too bad, and mostly included staring, which I can deal with. But then you have things like a little kid staring at me, tugging at his mom and asking what's wrong with me. I'm not quite sure how to move past things like that.

And I know I don't need to be glammed up all the time, but sometimes I wonder if it's just about making yourself presentable for the public. Maybe putting on makeup for me is like someone else running a brush/comb through their hair, or making sure their clothes aren't awful or something. And I'd never want to run into a client or someone I knew through work, without makeup on. It all seems so unprofessional.

So, I'm not sure. It was a big deal for me to leave the house like that, but I'm not sure if it should really be a goal of mine in the future. I mean, I really do hate my foundation. I had to buy some more today and expense aside, it's just incredibly annoying and I hate feeling jailed to it. But I don't see many ways around it beyond accepting that my looks will always attract negative attention without it. So for now, it's back to makeup as usual.

 

[auntiehill]

^I have several small chicken pox scars right between my eyes and one, thin, crescent shaped scare on the the whole left side of my face, and I also am freakishly pale to boot. So I always put foundation on when I go out, just because I feel better about myself when I do. Does it actually make any difference in my appearance? I'm not so sure, but it makes me FEEL more confident. I have gone out without any make-up this year---like running to the pharmacy when I'm terribly ill, or working out in the yard and chatting with neighbors as they pass. But generally, if I just feel that my skin tone is evened out and the scars less noticeable, then I feel just a tiny bit better about myself.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Obviously I don't wear makeup but one thing I did do years ago that I admit did make me feel more confident:

Shave my head.

Seriously. It did the trick. I mean, I didn't do this to "look good", or to get chicks, I just like it better now.

I hated the way I look with hair. Now that I have none, I don't feel quite as blah. Does that make any sense?

 

[trampledamage]

... twice! In the past week. Once because I was sick and the other time because it was a 7 hour car journey and I just didn't feel like it.

If you don't know my deal, I have a ton of scars on my face and I imprison myself with makeup. I won't leave the house without it. I won't answer the door without it. I won't pick up food in a drive-thru without it. So this was a huge deal for me.

The reactions weren't too bad, and mostly included staring, which I can deal with. But then you have things like a little kid staring at me, tugging at his mom and asking what's wrong with me. I'm not quite sure how to move past things like that.

And I know I don't need to be glammed up all the time, but sometimes I wonder if it's just about making yourself presentable for the public. Maybe putting on makeup for me is like someone else running a brush/comb through their hair, or making sure their clothes aren't awful or something. And I'd never want to run into a client or someone I knew through work, without makeup on. It all seems so unprofessional.

So, I'm not sure. It was a big deal for me to leave the house like that, but I'm not sure if it should really be a goal of mine in the future. I mean, I really do hate my foundation. I had to buy some more today and expense aside, it's just incredibly annoying and I hate feeling jailed to it. But I don't see many ways around it beyond accepting that my looks will always attract negative attention without it. So for now, it's back to makeup as usual.

Good for you! Not that I'm saying people shouldn't wear make-up if they want to (I'm all for doing whatever makes you most comfortable), but I know you've been wanting to cut back on your own requirement for make-up, Kestra, so I'm glad you did it

A pity about the kid, but always remember that children don't have a subtext to their question - they are curious about everything and they mean no harm. I don't know if you heard the mother's response, mind would have been "nothing, she just has marks on her skin". or something like that. Of course, that would lead my daughter to say, "What? Like marker pen?"

Plus, my sister once had a child point at her in the airport and ask his mum "Mummy, what is that?" - so at least your encounter knew you were a person!

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

I know this probably isn't really comparable to your experience, but at one time I would not leave my house with certain kinds of clothes. I would never wear a short sleeve t-shirt or shorts. The reason was is because I thought I was too fat and I was embarrassed. No matter how hot it was I would always wear bulky, loose-fitting sweatshirts. Under my girlfriend's influence I have broken out of that mode. Now that I wear them I have never had one person say to me "aren't you too fat to be wearing clothes like that"(and ironically I am fatter now than I ever have been). When I used to wear the bulky sweatshirts I did have a lot of people ask me "aren't you hot in that" though. I guess my point is it really doesn't pay to be too conscious of what other people think especially if it is at the expense of your own comfort.

 

[Misfit Toy]

Kestra I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. If that means experimenting with wearing different "levels" (for lack of a better word) of makeup then so be it. I know going without makeup makes you uncomfortable, but I'm proud of you for doing it anyway - you tried something different!

 

[Ruaidhri]

The biggest thing here is not that you try to set not wearing makeup as a goal but rather the comment you made about being imprisoned by your need to wear it. Makeup gives many people more confidence in their appearance. It can take a lot of courage to go without it when it becomes something you are reliant upon to function. Going without it is a huge step, Kestra! It shows that the makeup doesn't make you who you are, and you don't need it under every circumstance.

 

[SmoothieX]

My wife has worn make-up twice in the 8.5 years we've known each other. she turned out ok.

 

[sojourner]

Obviously I don't wear makeup but one thing I did do years ago that I admit did make me feel more confident:

Shave my head.

Seriously. It did the trick. I mean, I didn't do this to "look good", or to get chicks, I just like it better now.

I hated the way I look with hair. Now that I have none, I don't feel quite as blah. Does that make any sense?

Well, in my case, going bald is a condition. Shaving my head is a choice. I prefer to be proactive.

 

[Kestra]

Does it actually make any difference in my appearance? I'm not so sure, but it makes me FEEL more confident. I have gone out without any make-up this year---like running to the pharmacy when I'm terribly ill, or working out in the yard and chatting with neighbors as they pass. But generally, if I just feel that my skin tone is evened out and the scars less noticeable, then I feel just a tiny bit better about myself.

I definitely understand this. I suppose the problem is that in my case, it is not so much about how I feel, but the fact that it does make a significant difference in my appearance. I would like to wear makeup simply because it makes me feel better, not because I feel required to do so.

I hated the way I look with hair. Now that I have none, I don't feel quite as blah. Does that make any sense?

That makes plenty of sense! I'm glad you found something that has brought you more confidence.

A pity about the kid, but always remember that children don't have a subtext to their question - they are curious about everything and they mean no harm. I don't know if you heard the mother's response, mind would have been "nothing, she just has marks on her skin". or something like that. Of course, that would lead my daughter to say, "What? Like marker pen?"

Plus, my sister once had a child point at her in the airport and ask his mum "Mummy, what is that?" - so at least your encounter knew you were a person!

Yeah, the few times I have gone out with makeup before, the worst remarks or reactions have been from children. And I know they don't know any better and are just reacting because they see something different, so I don't take any actual offense. And yes, at least I was recognizable as a person! I just wish there wasn't anything worth remarking on in the first place, I suppose.

I guess my point is it really doesn't pay to be too conscious of what other people think especially if it is at the expense of your own comfort.

I'm glad you got over your fear. I think my issue is, would it just be irresponsible of me not to wear makeup all the time? Is it unprofessional if I come across someone without makeup? Keep in mind I'm not talking about slightly flawed skin; I'm talking about severe scars that can be mostly covered with careful application of makeup. I think there's this balance between being comfortable and being presentable, but I'm not sure what it is.

Kestra I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. If that means experimenting with wearing different "levels" (for lack of a better word) of makeup then so be it. I know going without makeup makes you uncomfortable, but I'm proud of you for doing it anyway - you tried something different!

Thanks. Yeah, maybe eventually I'll try wearing a not quite so heavy foundation or something. As it is, I don't really wear any of the extras (mascara, eyeliner, blush, lipstick, etc). At the same time, it seems like a waste to put on any makeup at all if I'm not going to cover my scars. I don't know if that makes sense.

The biggest thing here is not that you try to set not wearing makeup as a goal but rather the comment you made about being imprisoned by your need to wear it. Makeup gives many people more confidence in their appearance. It can take a lot of courage to go without it when it becomes something you are reliant upon to function. Going without it is a huge step, Kestra! It shows that the makeup doesn't make you who you are, and you don't need it under every circumstance.

Thanks, yeah, it was a huge step for me. It's funny, the things we take for granted about others. I'm sure most people don't get what a big deal it is for me, and other people have their own issues I wouldn't understand. Ideally I'd like to be at the level where I can go to drive-thrus or answer the door for deliveries and such without makeup on. I think that's a good first step, even if it ends up being the only one I take.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Kestra I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. If that means experimenting with wearing different "levels" (for lack of a better word) of makeup then so be it. I know going without makeup makes you uncomfortable, but I'm proud of you for doing it anyway - you tried something different!

Amen! As I mentioned before, my sister never leaves the house without makeup, too. As a guy (and particularly at my age), I stopped being too conscious about my overall looks. That's not saying I don't care about personal hygiene and grooming. It's just that I've grown more "comfortable" with my appearance.

 

[Lucky Charms]

And I know I don't need to be glammed up all the time, but sometimes I wonder if it's just about making yourself presentable for the public. Maybe putting on makeup for me is like someone else running a brush/comb through their hair, or making sure their clothes aren't awful or something. And I'd never want to run into a client or someone I knew through work, without makeup on. It all seems so unprofessional.

When I saw the thread name, my first thought was I'm not the only one who has left the house and forgot to put on her mascara. (Mascara is like crack to me! I LOVE IT!!!)

I can tell you Kestra that even though I don't have scars on my face, I can't go out of the house without make up on, even to just run to the drug store. I think for a lot of women our idea of beauty is tied to make up, and I agree with you that it is related to this feeling of wanting to be presentable to the public.

I don't think it is unprofessional at all for you to not wear makeup. The bigger issue is to be confident without the makeup.

 

[Supreme Admiral]

What?! It was a seven hour long car journey? Sounds like you're living in big state like I am. So you're imprison yourself with makeup, that's understandable for you not wanting to show your scars, but hoping that you don't mind my asking, what scars that you are so afraid to show to present yourself to the noticeable public? One of my family members have one serious scars right down to her arm and leg too, because she suffered a serious burn from fire when she was young long before I was even born. My grandmother told me that story before I went to having this surgery to remove my armpits with a half golf-ball and half-shaped basketball size, minding you, Kestra, I was suffering skin boils.

As of that result, that leaves me a big hole of scars right under my armpits, never wanting to show nor presenting myself to anyone that I have serious scars that scarred my life permanently. My doctors told me that it was overgrown hair that tries to grow, to me, it was too much hair to grow like gorilla, you know what I'm talking about here! It wasn't pleasant to experience that, so I recovered from my surgery for about two to three months ahead of a time, that's when I decided that I imprison to clothe myself to covering that horrible scars, worrying about what people are going to saying to me in a directable manners.

In 2007, two years ago, lots of kids were noticing that I shed my clothes to dove myself in the pool with those scars, none of them were tugging at their mums to asking what's that scars that I'm having under my armpits, I didn't care that much. Kestra, coming next year, I'll be stepping in dating world to find beautiful girlfriend, but I'm too scared to shed my clothes to her and revealing my horrible scars, from what I've been told from certain source of the people, most women find men with scars so sexy? I have to disagreeing with that comment, it wouldn't be too pretty if I did that.

Nonetheless, Kestra, I understand your situation of where you're coming from here, I felt your pain that you has to imprison yourself with no makeup, you're big girl to facing the world, that is, you're way braver than I am. Any way, you shouldn't imprison yourself, but rather to showing anyone and share your story to your dear friends, they'd understand why you did that. I support you in the big way!

Be strong, Kestra! (Patting your shoulder)

 

[Jetfire]

If more people took care of their skin...no one would need make-up except for fun.

I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable.

Agreed!

 

[melancholymecha]

well the last time I wore makeup was in high school & when I got out of hs I decided that I would never wear the stuff again, I just hated it. I only wear a bit of color on my lips. But now that Im getting older and have also been stuck the last couple years with some serious raccoon eyes, Im reluctantly thinking of using a bit of the stuff... but not too much. I dont think I'll ever be able to wear anything around my eyes like mascara & eyeshadow, or blush, I just hate how that stuff feels on my face!

I also have really dark long thick hairs on my arms and have always been self conscious about that, and have often thought of doing something about it, but never really end up doing anything. It seems any procedure I would need in order to get rid of them permanently would be too expensive or would only be temporary(usually its both). And I heard just shaving, like one does with their legs, would not be a good idea. Wearing long sleeved clothing is not an option either where I live b/c of the weather(too hot.)

of course it helps that Im really shy & dont like attention brought on to me so Ive never had any inclanation to want to look sexy or attractive. I dont want to look ugly either though, but Ive never gotten that sense that people stare at me, not even at my arms. Either they do stare & Ive become oblivios to it or hairy arms on a female really isnt as big a deal as I think it is(I still dont like how it looks though.)

 

[Kestra]

If more people took care of their skin...no one would need make-up except for fun.

That's not entirely true.

 

[Finn]

If more people took care of their skin...no one would need make-up except for fun.

There are many causes of skin problems that would encourage make up, that are beyond the person's control such as an injury by someone else, genetic conditions etc. Not to mention living around people who smoke and pollants can have a toll on someone skin.

 

[Amaris]

Kestra, firstly do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Secondly, you're a very beautiful woman and I would say this whether you were wearing makeup or not. Most importantly, do whatever you desire to do. In the end, it's all about how you treated yourself, not what others thought of you. That being said, I'm glad you're taking steps to see how you feel about other ways of presenting yourself. In my humble opinion, the world would be foolish to judge you on appearances alone, as if they would even have the right in the first place.

J.

 

[Spot's Meow]

I think my issue is, would it just be irresponsible of me not to wear makeup all the time? Is it unprofessional if I come across someone without makeup? Keep in mind I'm not talking about slightly flawed skin; I'm talking about severe scars that can be mostly covered with careful application of makeup. I think there's this balance between being comfortable and being presentable, but I'm not sure what it is.

I'm sure that this will come out sounding wrong, but people don't really care about your outer appearance that much. If you meet with a client with your scars showing, they might feel sympathy, they might be curious, they might just notice and move on, but either way they aren't going to be thinking, "how could this woman expose me to this? She should have worn makeup, shame on her!" I don't think anyone expects you to cover yourself up just for their benefit. They are grown ups, they can deal with what they see in front of them, and they won't look down on you for it. They will notice it for a moment and then move on. And after that, honestly, they won't be thinking about it and they won't care. They won't walk away from your meeting thinking, "oh my gosh, those scars!" They will walk away thinking about whatever business you just discussed.

You of course need to look presentable, but I don't really see how makeup and scars factor into that. It's not like you are purposely putting these scars on your face every morning to bother people - that would be unprofessional. Whether or not you want to cover up your own skin is entirely your choice and other people recognize that, they really do. I can't stress this idea enough, that people know that it is your right to decide how you want to deal with your scars, and they will not look down on you or think you unprofessional for not covering them. It is your choice. Do what makes YOU feel comfortable. It is not your responsibility to shield the rest of the world from seeing something they might not like.

I know I'm rambling and repeating myself a bit, but I really do feel for you and want you to know that you are putting undue stress on yourself in this matter. I want you to be happy and comfortable with either choice. It is clear just from your posts here that you are a beautiful person, so I can only imagine how much more evident it is in person - those around you will recognize this whether you wear makeup or not.

 

[Jetfire]

If more people took care of their skin...no one would need make-up except for fun.

That's not entirely true.

Maybe not everyone...but skin care is important alot of us neglect it...I know I do.