Please, share jokes that are suitable for children. Here's mine:
Q: Why did Kirk and Spock fight Tchar?
A: They had a Skorr to settle.
Q: Why did Kirk and Spock fight Tchar?
A: They had a Skorr to settle.
Tell your best clean Star Trek joke
- Thread starter Laura Cynthia Chambers
- Start date
Q: What's the name of the Klingon colony that was established in San Francisco?
A: Fisherman's Worf
A: Fisherman's Worf
Q: Why did alternate reality Spock consider retiring after walking by his counterpart in the ship's corridor?
A: Because he had gone past his Prime!
A: Because he had gone past his Prime!
I got nothing myself but just wanted to say that I fully expected this thread to be kind of lame, but all of these are actually pretty funny. Well done, everyone. 
Q: What are the most popular Borg self-help books?
A:
I'm A Drone, You're A Drone
Calm, Cool & Collective
Do It! Let's Get Off Our Implants
Chicken Soup Is Irrelevant
A:
I'm A Drone, You're A Drone
Calm, Cool & Collective
Do It! Let's Get Off Our Implants
Chicken Soup Is Irrelevant
Q: How do you stop somebody who tells too many Star Trek jokes?
A: Tell them to put a Quark in it.
(Not asking you to stop this thread, mind you!)
A: Tell them to put a Quark in it.
(Not asking you to stop this thread, mind you!)
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I recall a couple from my childhood that were scatological in nature (Captain's log and all that), guess they may not be appropriate for this thread, so...
How many ears does Spock have? Answer: 3, left ear, right ear and a final front-ear
How many ears does Spock have? Answer: 3, left ear, right ear and a final front-ear
I'm only taking credit for remembering these, not making them up:
How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Klingons aren't afraid of the dark.
or
How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, and one to shoot him and take credit.
or
How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
Five to fight over the honor of changing it, and one Romulan to actually do it.
How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Klingons aren't afraid of the dark.
or
How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, and one to shoot him and take credit.
or
How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
Five to fight over the honor of changing it, and one Romulan to actually do it.
Oh, you want lame?
(Quoted from vague memory.)Star Trek: The Motion Picture Happy Meal said:
This is also hilarious. But probably doesn't help that I've been drinking martinis. LOL
Q: What do you get when you told Frakes that Stewart had re-newed his contract and Frakes wouldn't get to be the star?
A: Frosted Frakes.
Me: "Knock knock."
You: "Who's there?"
Me: "Interrupting Wesley."
You: "Interrupting Wes--"
Me: "SHUT UP, WESLEY!!!"
International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19 each year)
Q: Who was the original security officer on the Enterprise D?
A: "Lieutenant YAAARRRRR!!!"
A: Frosted Frakes.
Me: "Knock knock."
You: "Who's there?"
Me: "Interrupting Wesley."
You: "Interrupting Wes--"
Me: "SHUT UP, WESLEY!!!"
International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19 each year)
Q: Who was the original security officer on the Enterprise D?
A: "Lieutenant YAAARRRRR!!!"
How many 24th century humans does it take to tell a joke?
Why would one do that? How does it serve the common good?
How many Bynars does it take to count to 2?
Infinity.
Why would one do that? How does it serve the common good?
How many Bynars does it take to count to 2?
Infinity.
C
C57D
Guest
In a similar vein and equally just remembered.......
How many Romulans does it take to charge a lighting panel?
One hundred and one.
One to change the panel and one hundred to blow up the ship for the shame of it!
Q: What does the USS Enterprise and toilet tissue have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
i hope that one's innocuous enough
A: They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
i hope that one's innocuous enough
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Q: What did Jake Sisko get when he threw omelettes at his Ferengi friend?
A: Egg Nog!
A: Egg Nog!
To get to the other side.
Why did the Prophet cross the wormhole?
Why did the Prophet cross the wormhole?
GEORDIE La Forge:
"Alreet! I can get Warp Factor 9 for yas like! Why aye man!"
"Alreet! I can get Warp Factor 9 for yas like! Why aye man!"
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Bashir's best friend Miles told him he's been in love with the same woman for decades. When his wife Keiko finds out, she's gonna kill him.
I see what ya did there.
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