Uh huh.
Mental Wellness Support Group
- Thread starter Twilight Phoenix
- Start date
I've been doing telephone
therapy for over 5 years about since the pandemic... It's the best 
ever few months I see the psychiatrist either telehealth or in person.. and the three scripts get refilled.. my therapist is a trauma therapist and I need that.. Life is good
I'm continuing with my 12 step programs and such but I have cut way back from many meetings everyday to a few a week.. and I am relaxing more 
my hyper vigilance is lessoning 
writing is quite helpful.. too..
My wife and I have been doing ours strictly by voice for the past couple of years, because video cuts in and out and is very unreliable.
I have been through several therapists with one clinic and finally had to look elsewhere. Therapists were disorganized, apathetic, and some acted like they needed help more than I did. One kept pushing the idea that what everyone needs more of is....jigsaw puzzles! It's like, lady, if that works for you, fine, but don't tell me that it's the big answer to my anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Jeez....
I found an independent therapist about a month ago who actually still takes this lousy Fidelis insurance, but then we got hit with Covid and I have not gotten back to her yet.
My wife still has a therapist from the old clinic, but has not talked with her, either, since our Covid situation began. That therapist has been transitioning to having mostly kids as clients, so I don't know how much longer she will be going on with her, anyway.
Our therapy is supposedly mandatory in this state (NY), because they either want you employed, engaged with doctors for physical health, or doing mental therapy....in order to get public assistance.
Well....what about the people who find that their mental health is actually WORSE from being forced to talk about their problems every week or two, because it keeps it all freshly stirred up?
I just feel like they pigeon-hole everyone, with their organization that is disorganized.
We actually heard the following, from an employee at the local Department of Social Services:
"We don't care about your health! If we don't get this paperwork done, we get audited!"
There's a microcosm of bureaucracy, right there....
My therapist gave me a gratitude journal, so I can say what I am grateful for. You guys will probably end up on that list one of these days. 
I was doing a recent training and a journal was reaffirmed in my mind as beneficial.My therapist gave me a gratitude journal, so I can say what I am grateful for. You guys will probably end up on that list one of these days.
Why?
Because it externalizes a lot of our thinking and problem and allows us to work through difficult or acknowledge positive things rather than ruminate on them.
I'm be more concerned about the quality of your therapist.
I really hope I have that appartement for cohousing with people with autism, if I don't have it I'm going back for a hospital stay for my mental health, because the weekends are making me depressed. I'm know I'm repeating myself, but I'm so tired of being alone, having nothing to come home to and no one's waiting for me or who's happy to see me when I'm home except my cat
I've been doing telephone
Life is good
I'm very happy for you, @think. I'm glad to hear mental telehealth is working really well for you. It may not be for everyone, just like in-person therapy. You've got to find the right treatment and approach that suits you.
Me thinks you've been taking the wrong meds, finding the right medicine works wonders for for your brain! But it is a hassle
I've managed to bring myself into a negative spiral once again. While discussing video game crushes, it once again came up how the character I'm currently obsessed with (yeah, she's the one on my avatar, go figure) is similarly traumatized to me. It reminded me of what my therapist once said about how relationships where both people are similarly traumatized and are at similar points in their journey tend to crash and burn because they just end up constantly hitting each other's trauma triggers in a neverending self-reinforcing spiral instead of being able to support each other and heal together. And while this is about my childhood trauma, I couldn't help but think about how it could be the same for romantic relationships between trans people because they could just end up triggering gender dysphoria in each other. How could I expect emotional support and validation from someone who are themselves looking for the same at the same time? How could I support my partner when I'm in the middle of an attack myself?
And, like, I don't have any good experiences with finding emotional support for my gender dysphoria from within the trans community. The trans meetups I go to have this enforced policy of overt positivity lest we accidentally trigger someone, and individual trans people, even those I've known for more than a year, tend to react with visible discomfort or outright annoyance at what feels like me forcing my personal issues on them. I was once even yelled at by a trans woman who I thought was a close friend (we've regularly had deep discussions) because me opening up about my dysphoria triggered theirs and how dare I be this selfish and short-sighted.
Voicing my concerns on an online trans forum just made me feel even worse about myself, and, spoiler alert, it ended up having been about my childhood trauma all along. People told me I was putting the cart in front of the horse and I shouldn't look for emotional support outside a therapeutic environment or a dedicated support group until I build up a sufficient level of trust with friends or romantic partners, but it all feels just so impossible. I sometimes feel like my entire personality and life is just my trauma, to the point where I struggle to bring up a single happy memory that doesn't involve me dissociating or retreating into dream worlds. I just don't think I can open up to people without trauma dumping with how much it seems to be on the forefront (as a former therapist of mine once put it, they could count the social situations that didn't bring up a traumatic memory connected to my parents on one hand). It feels like my life experience outside of my trauma is so limited that not only would other people struggle to understand me but I wouldn't understand them either (I mean, most common small talk topics are completely alien and unrelatable to me... what did I do over the weekend? I was brooding in front of my computer, woe-is-me whining to strangers on the internet about how shitty my life is. Where did I go on holiday? Nowhere, traveling alone just makes me feel shitty about myself. How is the family? I don't have any of my own and my parents are unbearable. And so on. Not to mention, I couldn't care less about a random coworker's kids and simply don't have the emotional energy to fake interest). Pretending my trauma doesn't exist until I can build up trust not only feels nigh impossible but also extremely manipulative, bordering on sociopathic, almost as if I'd be trying to entrap people to exploit their kindness after they're already hooked. Like, how do I not show how utterly lonely and traumatized I am without it looking like a complete 180° when I do open up about it?
And, like, I don't have any good experiences with finding emotional support for my gender dysphoria from within the trans community. The trans meetups I go to have this enforced policy of overt positivity lest we accidentally trigger someone, and individual trans people, even those I've known for more than a year, tend to react with visible discomfort or outright annoyance at what feels like me forcing my personal issues on them. I was once even yelled at by a trans woman who I thought was a close friend (we've regularly had deep discussions) because me opening up about my dysphoria triggered theirs and how dare I be this selfish and short-sighted.
Voicing my concerns on an online trans forum just made me feel even worse about myself, and, spoiler alert, it ended up having been about my childhood trauma all along. People told me I was putting the cart in front of the horse and I shouldn't look for emotional support outside a therapeutic environment or a dedicated support group until I build up a sufficient level of trust with friends or romantic partners, but it all feels just so impossible. I sometimes feel like my entire personality and life is just my trauma, to the point where I struggle to bring up a single happy memory that doesn't involve me dissociating or retreating into dream worlds. I just don't think I can open up to people without trauma dumping with how much it seems to be on the forefront (as a former therapist of mine once put it, they could count the social situations that didn't bring up a traumatic memory connected to my parents on one hand). It feels like my life experience outside of my trauma is so limited that not only would other people struggle to understand me but I wouldn't understand them either (I mean, most common small talk topics are completely alien and unrelatable to me... what did I do over the weekend? I was brooding in front of my computer, woe-is-me whining to strangers on the internet about how shitty my life is. Where did I go on holiday? Nowhere, traveling alone just makes me feel shitty about myself. How is the family? I don't have any of my own and my parents are unbearable. And so on. Not to mention, I couldn't care less about a random coworker's kids and simply don't have the emotional energy to fake interest). Pretending my trauma doesn't exist until I can build up trust not only feels nigh impossible but also extremely manipulative, bordering on sociopathic, almost as if I'd be trying to entrap people to exploit their kindness after they're already hooked. Like, how do I not show how utterly lonely and traumatized I am without it looking like a complete 180° when I do open up about it?
My wife and I both had very controlling and manipulative parents and other relatives. We both had a lot of negative experiences in school, with 'peers'. I also had a very negative experience with the Catholic Church, from age 7 to age 10.
Our traumas have bounced against each other A LOT. At times, it has been extremely difficult for both of us to understand that something the other one is saying is NOT intended in the way that was meant by some negative person out of our pasts. We have found that even the connotation of certain words and how they may be used a little bit differently in different parts of the country cause problems for us, at times. A word may have been used one way, according to what I was familiar with, but in quite a different way in my wife's experience.
But, in spite of it all, we have been together for 20 years. We have far outlasted the website that we met on.
We put a ton of work into communication. It's not perfect....it seems like every couple of weeks something pops up that triggers negative emotions. But, we recognize that people in our pasts conditioned us. They used our kindness, love, and decency against us. It caused us to be involuntarily hyper-vigilant in how we even process words that we hear.
We know that our biggest problem is misunderstandings. We have not yet reached the point where they no longer occur, but over time we have at least been able to reduce their impact and length of duration. We strive to not let the sun go down on anger. You never know how long you have to live, and neither one of us wants to pass on in the night with the last words having been harsh ones.
You need someone in your life who cares about you unconditionally. Someone who says, "Don't worry about the idea of hurting my feelings. Let's keep the focus on you and yours and get you feeling better. If we can accomplish that....I'll feel better anyway!"
I hope that you can find such a person.
I'm sorry you're feeling like that.
Once again, I feel like you've had a bad experience and I'm sad that happened for you. I'm going to the psychiatry and I love it, everyone is so nice and helpful I wish I could stay here 24/7 but alas
Reading the frustrations that people are sharing about their therapy, I felt this training video from a Solution Focused Therapy practioner, Elliott Connie, who focuses on helping therapists being more effective. And, well, I would encourage those who are seeking therapy to look for practioners who are highly empathetic.
I'm sorry about my outbursts. Just feel hopeless at the moment about everything. My mental health doctor has not been listening to my concerns about the med side effects and they want to stack my meds with a antipsychotic and a pill for ADHD for off label purposes when I'm on already a benzo and a anti depressant which has been making me feel ill and the benzo scares me since it's narcotic. I don't want a cocktail of meds.
Therapy isn't helping ether as it's always mindfulness garbage.
Therapy isn't helping ether as it's always mindfulness garbage.
Your doctor sucks, I'm so sorry *hugs*
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