I didn't find it all that confusing by the time the season ended. In the first half, "Tyler" had no knowledge or awareness that he was actually Voq. He was never
pretending at all. The Klingons ripped the memories and identity of the real, original Ash Tyler (whom we know to have existed because Lorca checked into and verified his background in detail) and transplanted them onto Voq, suppressing Voq's own consciousness beneath Tyler's, where it remained submerged and dormant until it began to re-assert itself, and the two personalities then both rebelled against the arrangement. To stop him from literally tearing himself apart mentally and physically, L'Rell re-suppressed the Voq personality—perhaps permanently, as seems implied by her mourning howl as if he had died, but we'll see about that—yet leaving his memories accessible to Tyler's, which now retains control (for the moment at least).
Personally, I would find it a far more "offensive" treatment of sexual assault/abuse if they had taken this...
BURNHAM: Who is she to you?
TYLER: I think you already know.
BURNHAM: You were her prisoner.
TYLER: Yeah. Her name's L'Rell. She's the reason I've had nightmares every night since Captain Lorca and I fled her ship. She's also the only reason I'm still alive. 227 days. But it only took one to realize I wasn't gonna make it out alive, not unless I made a choice.
BURNHAM: What did you do?
TYLER: That... That Klingon...was more than just my captor. She was my torturer. One who took a particular...interest in me. And I saw a way out. A way to live past day one, day ten, day twenty, day 97...I encouraged it. Her sick affections. Her obsession with me. Because if I hadn't, I'd be dead, like all the others. And I got out. I get to keep living my life. But the thing is...if none of that had happened, I wouldn't be here. On this ship. With you. And that almost makes it...worth it.
...and then simply dismissed it as not having been a "real" experience. At the very least, it was certainly real
to him. He will still suffer the effects of and struggle to come to terms with it, as would anyone.
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MMoM