Voyager funniest moments

[retroenzo]

As there appears to be one for both TNG and DS9, I thought I'd start one with Voyager. (How long before they appear in TOS and ENT forums too?)

I'll put this one up as one of the best:
Chakotay: If Neelix has another Talent Night I hope you'll reprise it.
Janeway: Oh no, not until certain other people take their turn, the ship's first officer, for instance.
Chakotay: Me, get up in front of people and perform? I don't think so.
Janeway: Come on, Chakotay. There must be some talent you have that people would enjoy. Maybe I could stand with an apple on my head and you could phaser it off.
Chakotay: Sounds great. If I miss I get to be captain.

 

[Thomas Eugene]

from BODY AND SOUL:
RANEK: If you are innocent, then you won't mind telling me more about this vessel. For instance, this device. What does it do?
EMH-SEVEN: That's a standard food replicator.
RANEK: Can it be used to create bioweapons?
EMH-SEVEN: Not unless you count Mister Neelix's Bolian soufflé. Let me show you. Computer, one slice of New York cheesecake. This is an old Earth delicacy.
RANEK: How do I know you're not trying to poison me?
EMH-SEVEN: Oh, please.
(S/he takes the fork and samples it. The cheesecake is even more tasty than expected.)
EMH-SEVEN: Mmm mmm! Oh, I never imagined. Mmm!
RANEK: Is this the first time you've tried that?
EMH-SEVEN: Of course not, but it's just that I usually avoid foods that are this rich. I do have a figure to maintain.

 

[Sophie74656]

The opening of Tinker Tenor Doctor spy...well basically that whole epidode. But the best part for me was the fantasy the doc wad having about B'Elanna and he mentions Tom and when the camera pans over to him he gives this really goofy wave. I just love that.

Virtuoso....
EMH: Excellent, but we still have the problem with the sight lines.
TORRES: What's wrong with the sight lines?
EMH: If you consider the height of the average Qomar, it's obvious that anyone seated in the back five rows will have an obstructed view.
TORRES: You're right. They won't be able to see anything but the top of your head. The glare could blind them

 

[locutus101]

I Just love this improv by the Doc in Tinker, Tenor... on the song from the Barber of Seville:

"Tuvok I understand

You are a Vulcan man

And you've gone without

For seven years about...etc"

I thought that was the funniest moment of the whole episode.

 

[Sophie74656]

I Just love this improv by the Doc in Tinker, Tenor... on the song from the Barber of Seville:

"Tuvok I understand

You are a Vulcan man

And you've gone without

For seven years about...etc"

I thought that was the funniest moment of the whole episode.

There's a filthy behind the scenes story about that scene that I've heard some of the actors talk about at conventions. Skip ahead if you know it...

The story is that when they were filming the song it was like 2am and everyone was tires and they kept messing it up. So one of the takes tim russ jumps up screams "ponn farr!!!" grabs ethan phillips bends him over a chair and humps him. Ethan plays along and gives a big grin and a thumbs up. Aftrr everyone was done laughing they said they were able to film the scene in one take

 

[locutus101]

There's a filthy behind the scenes story about that scene that I've heard some of the actors talk about at conventions. Skip ahead if you know it...

The story is that when they were filming the song it was like 2am and everyone was tires and they kept messing it up. So one of the takes tim russ jumps up screams "ponn farr!!!" grabs ethan phillips bends him over a chair and humps him. Ethan plays along and gives a big grin and a thumbs up. Aftrr everyone was done laughing they said they were able to film the scene in one take

I hope they haven't destroyed that take. Maybe someday we'll get to see it.

 

[Finn]

Yes, I never heard that particular story, but I've seen interviews where those two were throwing wacky and vulgar jokes at each other's expenses while laughing aloud either very late in Voyager's run or the first few years after.

 

[Thomas Eugene]

The story is that when they were filming the song it was like 2am

I know this is probably a very naive question but I practically know nothing about filmmaking - let alone American filmmaking (hell I'd be happy if I could go and visit the USA one day) - so could someone answer this question for me, please.
How does filmmaking work? I mean how is it possible that actors are still at work at 2 am? Can't they just say at, say, 6 pm that they want to go home because their working hours are over? Also, filmmaking involves a lot of other people, not just the actors. Don't they want to go home? And if they do, can someone, like the director or somebody prevent them from leaving the studio, saying that "look, you are not going home until this and this has been filmed"? Or are they forced to sign a contract which says that they are to remain on the set until the director tells them they can go home?
I realize that this is probably not the thread to ask these questions but since this thing with TTDS came up, I thought I'd ask it here. I hope you don't mind.

 

[TonyaLang_SB118]

I Just love this improv by the Doc in Tinker, Tenor... on the song from the Barber of Seville:

"Tuvok I understand

You are a Vulcan man

And you've gone without

For seven years about...etc"

I thought that was the funniest moment of the whole episode.

I have this song in my head for HOURS after watching it! Still love it.

I know this is probably a very naive question but I practically know nothing about filmmaking - let alone American filmmaking (hell I'd be happy if I could go and visit the USA one day) - so could someone answer this question for me, please.
How does filmmaking work? I mean how is it possible that actors are still at work at 2 am? Can't they just say at, say, 6 pm that they want to go home because their working hours are over? Also, filmmaking involves a lot of other people, not just the actors. Don't they want to go home? And if they do, can someone, like the director or somebody prevent them from leaving the studio, saying that "look, you are not going home until this and this has been filmed"? Or are they forced to sign a contract which says that they are to remain on the set until the director tells them they can go home?
I realize that this is probably not the thread to ask these questions but since this thing with TTDS came up, I thought I'd ask it here. I hope you don't mind.

Alright, I'm not an expert, but that's what I've heard:

Especially in a series, they have a lot of pressure because they've got a timetable they have to keep up with. They have to work long hours if they weren't able to shoot particular scenes in the given time. That's because series usually have to be finished within less than a year. One season per year it is, normally. After finishing one season, I believe they have some time off, then they start with the next one.

Series are made to cost less than a movie - at least in the 90s. In order to do that, there are less special effects, (sometimes) cheaper props and they only pay the actors and crew for a short period of time. If the filming takes longer, it's their problem as far as I'm concerned. Also: the fans are waiting and the actors age.

So, in general: time is money.

(I've read a bit about that in Kate's book "Born with Teeth". There are some chapters where she describes Voyager's filming process. As I said, it might be different today, but I'm not sure.)

 

[Thomas Eugene]

Especially in a series, they have a lot of pressure because they've got a timetable they have to keep up with. They have to work long hours if they weren't able to shoot particular scenes in the given time.

OK, so if I understood you correctly, this means that they are told which scenes have to be shot on which day no matter when the day finishes? Makes sense, I guess. It seems a bit tough on the actors, though I guess when they sign a contract, they know what they are letting themselves in for. I wonder if the original Janeway might have left because she wasn't prepared for this.
Anyway, thanks for your answer.

 

[stardream]

Some personal favorites:

From Bride of Chaotica: Yes ma'am. His army of evil. (it's in the delivery)

Seven-There is no one on Deck Nine Section 12 who doesn't know when you are having intimate relations'.

 

[Seven of Five]

Talking about Threshold in the other thread just made me remember one of the funniest quotes I can remember so far in my rewatch. After discovering the 'evolved' Janeway and Paris, and their offspring on a planet:

CHAKOTAY: I don't know how I'm going to enter this into the log.
TUVOK: I look forward to reading it.

 

[Sophie74656]

Some personal favorites:

From Bride of Chaotica: Yes ma'am. His army of evil. (it's in the delivery)

Seven-There is no one on Deck Nine Section 12 who doesn't know when you are having intimate relations'.

These are great! The delivery of that line...his army of evil is just so fantastic

 

[Sophie74656]

I loved in Spirit Folk when the Doctor says he can't be hypnotized but then a second later he is. And of course when Tom turns Harry's date into a cow.

 

[stardream]

That reminds me of something in Fair Haven. When the Doctor is dressed up as a Priest one of the villagers stops him, telling him that he has broken the Fifth Commandment ...again. The Catholic fifth commandment is Thou shall not kill. I guess there is a serial killer running around in Fair Haven.

 

[TonyaLang_SB118]

OK, so if I understood you correctly, this means that they are told which scenes have to be shot on which day no matter when the day finishes?

Yes, I think that's how it is. But again, I'm no expert.

It seems a bit tough on the actors, though I guess when they sign a contract, they know what they are letting themselves in for. I wonder if the original Janeway might have left because she wasn't prepared for this.
Anyway, thanks for your answer.

Possibly. But from what I've heard, Geneviève Bujold had a young daughter then and wanted to spend more time with her instead. Maybe she just didn't like the crew or her co-actors (which is hard to believe) and just gave that as a reason after all. She was already a well known actress then and could almost do whatever she wanted. Kate also had young children at that time, but she chose to play Janeway for career reasons. Understandable.

 

[Lynx]

Here are some funny conversations:

From "Parturition":

KES: There are some things you can't cure. Neelix and Tom Paris had a physical fight- over me!
THE DOCTOR: How delightful!
KES: Delightful?
THE DOCTOR: You should consider it a high compliment. Throughout history, men have fought over the love of a woman. Why, I can quote you autopsy reports from duels as far back as 1538.
KES: That's not funny.
THE DOCTOR: It's not meant to be. You've always been interested in autopsies.

KES: On my homeworld it's so much simpler. You choose a mate for life. There's no distrust, no jealousy, no envy, no betrayal.
THE DOCTOR: Hmm. Your world must have very dry literature.

Not to mention the "spaghetti fight" between Tom and Neelix. Hilarious!

This one from "Parturition" is also great:

NEELIX: This creature is our responsibility.
PARIS: Ours?
NEELIX: The moment we came in here, it became our responsibility.
PARIS: And you expect to take care of this thing until what? It graduates from high school, college? And what if Mom doesn't come back? Are you planning to bring this with us back on the ship?

This is from "Time And Again":

THE DOCTOR: Another crew. That's nice. This is the Emergency Medical Holographic system to Captain Janeway.
NEELIX: She's not on board. She's missing on the surface of a planet.
THE DOCTOR: Missing? The Captain is missing? It seems I've found myself on the Voyage of the Damned!

This one from "Tuvix" is funny:

NEELIX: Why, is there some regulation that says we can't do both at the same time? I know. Why don't, why don't we sing a song while we toil, hmm? It'll cheer you up. Now, I've been studying Vulcan music. Do you know that lovely tune that starts, (sings) Oh starless night of boundless black.
TUVOK: That lovely tune is a traditional funeral dirge.
NEELIX: I know, but it was the most cheerful song I could find in the Vulcan database. Come on, Tuvok, join me. Oh starless night of boundless black.
TUVOK: Mister Neelix?
NEELIX: Yes?
TUVOK: Do you think you could possibly behave a little less like yourself?

 

[Tracy Trek]

THE DOCTOR: Missing? The Captain is missing? It seems I've found myself on the Voyage of the Damned!

I've always loved that line, and it's not so much the words themselves, but the way Picardo delivers the lines.

Of course, who can forget, "Get the cheese to sickbay".

In Renaissance Man, when the EMH is impersonating members of the crew. He switches over to a holographic version of Torres and is about to hurry out the door before he remembers she is almost full term pregnant and has to ask the computer to adjust his appearance.

 

[locutus101]

When we learn that Barclay's cat is called Neelix.

 

[Sophie74656]

The Barclay hologram impersonating Janeway