TOS Caption Contest #85 - Shuttle Trouble

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Scotty: Mr. Spock, I appreciate yer input, but I dinna see how your collection of enema kits is goin' ta help!

McCoy: Why, yes, I am dating an Orion. Why do you ask?

Kirk: Green's not good enough, gentlemen. Prepare for ludicrous speed. We're going to plaid!

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "There, I've re-installed your 12-disk CD changer, Spock. Can we refocus on getting off this planet now?"

Spock, mid-Horta-meld: "Toilet ... paper ... in ... hall ... closet ..."
McCoy: "Aw, shit."


Alternate Ending for "The One with the Bitchy Lady Who Dies":

McCoy: "What are you doing, Spock?"
Spock: "After all the shit you've blown me, asshole, I wanted to be directly responsible for your goddamned death. Burn, you fucking bitch!"
All: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ..."
<shuttle implodes>

 

[Rat Boy]

Gaetano: "Actually, all I had to do to get the internet back was disable and re-enable the network in Windows."

Scotty: "Borgas frat! I've been pulling apart routers and cable modems all morning."

Kirk: "Uh, you didn't use the super fast drying concrete, did you?"

McCoy: "Yeah, why? Hmmm, can't move my hands."

Happy Fourth of Vulcan July!

 

[Triskelion]

Little help guys! My left nut itches something awful. Guys?

Yup, I was afraid of that. You've got bugs.

29 minutes! Computer standby for emergency transport!

 

[Rat Boy]

29 minutes! Computer standby for emergency transport!

"Who ordered the combo?"

 

[Dieks]

Looks like the fuel lines are full of plomek soup.

 

[Rat Boy]

Gaetano: "You know, maybe we'd stop falling out of these chairs if they didn't tilt forward."

Scotty: "You shut up! You dinna know anything about starship engineering!"

 

[M'Sharak]

Another take:

"Aye, ye green-handed beastie! Bonk, bonk, on the head!"

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

Hey, thanks for the win, Outpost4

Things Dr McCoy can cure:

Choriocytosis - check
Dramian Plague - check
Biowarefare virus on duplicate of Earth - check
Rainy day - maybe
Runny nose - not a chance

 

[Rat Boy]

Gaetano: "Uh, I hate to tell you, but I can't find any component plugs in the back of the projector."

Scotty: "Borgas frat! There goes the entire home theater!"

McCoy: "Soylent Green is people!"

Sulu: "When I said we dropped the tranny, that isn't what I meant. Why must everything be sexual with you people?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCoy: "I swear to God Jim, it wasn't me!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Racing for pinks and bragging rights.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Bloody knew it.

One of you lads ate a lot of tofu before we left...didnae ya?"

"Damn you, synthesized chicken burritos!!!"

"Would this be a bad time to tell you I have to toss a cigarette out the window?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Gimme a hand with this, Mister Gaetano...

bloody waste conduit is full of corn."

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: How much do I have to pay to get out of going through all these things twice?

 

[DrBob]

Scotty: "ZzzZ z ZzzZz z..."

<whispering>

Spock: "Sssshh!.... Snow White's passed out over here. <poke>
Logically, we should have locked up the mini bar fridge & snackbar with him aboard."

Gaetano: "Dibs on shaving the eyebrows!"

__________________

Mudd's Women have been replastered.

And/or

Official ringside Doctor for the Orion slavegirl mud wrestling championship.

__________________

You are now leaving the Methane planet known as Farticon IV, smell you later!

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Hey, there's a can of Liquid Schwartz under here!"

Spock: "Let's make space tracks!"

 

[Outpost4]

Scotty: There. That should be enough parts to make a bong.

 

[Jptrekker]

Five-dollar foot-long...with extra guacamole!

 

[M'Sharak]

Scotty: Och, what's this doin' in here?
Spock: Mr. Scott, is that what I think it is?
Scotty: Aye, sir - a Rampant Rabbit. It must be the Captain's.
Gaetano: (thinking) Sh*t! What's it doing here?!