TOS Caption Contest #81 - Watching and Waiting

[Sector 7]

Scene: Green room
(voice of Jerry Springer in background) "Our next guest is a girl who says a pointy-eared alien is her baby's daddy. Will the paternity test prove her claim? Or is her child the result of a love triangle with her doctor and a lesbian?"

Ensign Ricky tried to look busy, but he knew it was either accept Kirk's advances or be sent to his death on the next away mission.

 

[Rat Boy]

Balok: "Hey, honey, I was doing you a favor when I brought you to this dance. I could have any ass in this room, even that Asian chick sitting over there."

 

[Hambone]

Chinese maitre 'd: "Seinfeld, party of four?"

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

"... and the last person in our Federation Idol bottom five is..."

.oO I'm... too sexy for my shirt... too sexy for my shirt... Oo.

 

[Maurice]

A
As usual, Ensign Harvey went unnoticed.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

bro loved to go directly to the Premie Lounge from hockey.

Kirk: "Yeoman, are you familiar with the term 'put the biscuit in the basket'?

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Jamie Finney:Wow, the little dude seems WAY too attached to that puppet...

 

[Outpost4]

His desire to recreate this scene is the main reason Shatner isn't in ST:XI.

 

[Outpost4]

A
Departments of Motor Vehicles are the same all over the galaxy.

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Kirk's B.O. was just too much for Spock's sensitive Vulcan nostrils.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Tonight on TO TELL THE TRUTH...one of these four contestants once saved the entire planet Earth and the known Federation from a mutated, sentient space probe! We'll find out which one...after these commercial messages!!"

"Yeah.

You know it.

Keep starin'.

I'm the biz-nitch Cap Daddy."

 

[cooleddie74]

Ensign Waymont had barely finished rigging the Captain's quarters for free cable when Kirk arrived early from his workout.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk (to himself): Shit, what's the matter with these chicks? This routine
always worked back in Iowa. I'm still a babe magnet. Hey, ladies, the cap's
ready to pop! Damn, nothing. Well, maybe Real Sex is on HBO tonight.

 

[Defcon]

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Picard:You're probably wondering why I called you all here...

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk: (thinking) "Can't get one of those vests with Captain's braid," my ass. Bastards!

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Spock runs to get the cup for Picard's new home movie.

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Picard's ass was so polished that Kirk could see his own reflection in the butt cheek

 

[Jptrekker]

Spock runs to get the cup for Picard's new home movie.

"Two Generations, One Cup"