TOS Caption Contest #81 - Watching and Waiting

[The Squire of Gothos]

Crewman in vest: Yeah, he's coming down our corridor now. No, nobody's looking. Yeah, I'll let the guys in environmental control know, looks like he cruising by there next.

 

[Rat Boy]

The morning after usually is the most awkward.

The Bee-Gees (singing): "Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around
since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

"Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive."

Guy in vest: "Yes, he's playing that song again. Yes, he does this every time he walks down the corridor with his shirt off. No, no one ever pays attention."

 

[Shatmandu]

Guy with Walkie-Talkie: "The odor <sniff> ... seems to <sniff> ... be moving <sniff> ... down the corridor ..."
Kirk, glancing back, thinking, crop-dusting: "Heeeeee!"

McCoy, quietly, out side of mouth: "Big finish?"
<Yeoman moves left arm in jerkoff motion.>

 

[Outpost4]

The crew didn't know what smelled worse, the captain's sweat or his feet.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "So Uhura touched you all inappropriately, too?"
Jamie: "Yes."
Yeoman: "Yep."
Spock: "Aw, yeeeaaaaah, buuuuuddy ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wait, why aren't you people stripping down? This isn't the new bathhouse?"

Balok: "Hey, baby, let's go back to my place so we can drink tranya until our head's explode."

 

[Michael]

Priceless!

 

[T'Bonz]

Thoughts in the Brig:

Spock: What is a "fake ID"?
Red Dress: You idiots! I told you she wasn't twenty-one.
McCoy: From now on I stick to Synthehol.
Jamie: My father is going to kill me.

 

[Triskelion]

 

[Shatmandu]

Clint Howard: "Ronnie got the looks, but I'm hung like a bear, baby ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I do not understand. Why did the captain ask us to chaperon Jaime's date with Balok? She is his goddaughter."

McCoy: "Jim's a little busy plowing it to her mother."

Kirk: "No one's leaving this deck until I find out which one of you assholes flushed a toilet when I was in the shower."

 

[T'Bonz]

Personal note to self: Never tell a woman that her tits are asymmetric.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, thinking: "Shouldn't have asked Spock what 'bukakke' means ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy couldn't help but feel like a fifth wheel.

 

[Gertch]

McCoy couldn't help but feel like a fifth wheel.

...til Balok tenderly touched his leg.

 

[Gertch]

bro loved to go directly to the Premie Lounge from hockey.


or

Redshirt: "There it is again, a huge spike in hot air."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy couldn't help but feel like a fifth wheel.

...til Balok tenderly touched his leg.

 

[Outpost4]

Spock (to himself): It's his laugh. That must be it. Chicks dig a easy laugh.
Shit, I could cut off the little twerp's head with one swing of a lirpa but I
can't laugh. That's fucked up.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy (thinking): I don't get it. How come we have to watch this boring dance while Jim's in the men's room boffing the guidance counselor?

 

[John Picard]

[Offscreen]: "Bueller.....? Bueller.....? Bueller.....?"