Sigh…. Here we go.
We open with a group of Enterprise school children working on clay sculptures in a classroom, Troi is there to give the kids advice on the day's objective; to make a sculpture that conveys an emotion. She eventually finds her way to Data (who's in primary school now?) who has formed his clay into a "sculpture" of a PADD. He says its dimensional accuracy is within a couple percent; which seems remarkably IN-accurate for someone like Data.
Troi sets him up with a new piece and challenges him to make a sculpture the represents "music." Data argues that music is an acoustical experience and not a visual one that can be represented as a sculpture and Troi says that's the point of the challenge. Data shrugs and quickly forms the clay into the form of a musical clef.
Oddly, he does this in moments as opposed to the PADD seemingly taking him some degree of time. Troi says it's a start, before Data is called to the Bridge.
The ship has come up on a rogue comet heading towards a star, the comet is not indigenous to the stellar system and has some unusual properties so they begin scanning it, they experience some odd feedback which Data compensates for. The ship will complete the scan of the comet in about a day and a half. Look, I know they're out here to explore and learn things, but scanning a damn chunk of frozen gas for nearly two days seems a bit extreme.
Meanwhile, Troi and Crusher are preparing for their Worf-Chi class and stop by Troi's quarters to put on her futuristic gi. Inside, Crusher points out a decorative obelisk on a end table; Troi isn't sure where it came from and seems unconcerned with this random piece of rock appearing in her room without explanation. They seem to chalk it up to a "secret admirer" breaking into her room and putting it there. Look, I'm not an evolved 24th century person, but I think I'd be kind of suspicious if something showed up in my home with now discernible way for it to have gotten there. And the notion of someone breaking into my home to place it there certainly wouldn't make me feel easy.
As the women leave the tip of phallus, er, obelisk glows bright blue and a symbol appears in the spot that was once blank. OPENING CREDITS!!!
Sometime within the next day and half, Troi is overseeing another art session in the classroom, when she comes up on Data he's just finishing up a sculpture of a mask; Troi notes that a symbol on the mask looks like one on the obelisk in her quarters. Data hasn't been in her room and is uncertain of why there'd be any connection. Just then a boy at a nearby terminal says he's having trouble with his schoolroom computer, a series of strange symbols are appearing interfering with his ability to use it. Ah, Windows 8.
Data goes to investigate and, with Geordi, they find the ship's computer 'infected" with a rogue program that seems to be rewriting some of the ship's software, these symbols having been appearing all over the ship's GUI. They don't know what they mean but Data seems to be able to read them, one of the symbols (which look like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs) Data notes represents "death." Geordi shows concern that Data may be infected with the rogue program as well, he will do a diagnostic to be sure. Meanwhile Riker and Geordi work out a plan to learn more about the comet by seeing the inside/core of it.
They use the phasers at a low setting to melt away the outside of the comet, revealing an alien probe; analysis of the probe show it to be over 87 million years old. It's believed it accumulated the comet material during its travels (crystallized interstellar gases have a way of building up, I guess), the system they conclude it came from is not currently inhabited and this probe may be an archive of the civilization that once lived there. It's using the ship's sensor beam to send information into their computer, rewriting the software.
Dammit, Starfleet! Invest in a firewall!
Though they're unsure of what's happening and how or why Data seems to have an intuitive knowledge of the probe they decide to allow it to continue until it becomes a threat.
Picard looks over various artifacts that have appeared on the ship over the last few hours and the archaeologist in him comes out as he studies them and tries to decipher them. A recurring symbol he sees, in the form of a compass, and a recurring theme dealing with direction and boundaries, including "death" which he calls the "ultimate boundary."
Though the artifacts seem very primitive, it all obviously came from a very advanced society capable of building the probe.
There's one symbol on one of the artifacts Picard is unable to decipher, though it should be clear to anyone looking at of what it is. (It's a straight line with a semi-disc over/under it the disc adorned with a semi-circle with several lines jutting perpendicularly out from it. Basically looking like a child's drawing of a sunset.)
The diagnostic on Data so far isn't turning any results up but when Geordi goes to a deeper system Data seems to have a reaction, but is unable to describe it. He asks Geordi what it feels like to "lose [your] mind." Concerned, Geordi disconnects Data from the diagnostic and shortly afterwards there's an odd noise from Data and…
Look, up until now the episode is okay and interesting. But, for me, this is an episode I find to be incredibly tedious and dull, and aspects of it are very, very, dumb and that's all set to begin now. As I've been doing these recaps I've struggled to do certain episodes, often taking a long time to get myself to do them, because for me they're a chore to watch and this episode is one of them. I can watch "Sub Rosa" over and over again because at least it's a sort-of FUN dumb. This episode is just bad.
Now, there's certain things I'm willing to accept and wave my hand at when it comes to Treknology, and matter and energy manipulation is one of them. It's theoretically possible and in a society with massive resources and energy at their disposal it's entirely conceivable they have the equipment and technology to make food and tools out of stored energy and basic matter reserves.
But this episode breaks that willing suspension by having incredible changes occur with little justification as to not just where the energy is coming from, how it's manipulating matter in such a way, or why the matter change as no real impact on other things. Which we'll get to.
Right now, we're with Data. When Geordi returns the part of Data's circuitry exposed by the removed panel has changed to something different, and here's a big problem. Over and over again throughout the series we're told how unique and special Data is and how he's a delicate balance of technology that somehow works dues to the genius of Noonian Soong. And here that's all just replaced by something else.
Data turns to Geordi with a wide grin, the "compass" symbol is now on Data's forehead and there's a strange artifact on his chest. Yes, these things were somehow replicated/materialized out of nowhere. Unless Data has an *incredible* amount of dormant energy in him and this rogue program built within him a replicator the show is now breaking that suspension of disbelief I'm willing to give it when it comes to technology and matter/energy manipulation. Data says to Geordi in his best Golem voice: "Masakah (sp?) is waking."
Back from commercial Data has mounted the "nose" of the warp core with his feet propped on the railing as Picard enters the room, "Data" repeats his line and Picard begins questioning him on what's going on.
Data has been… "possessed" by some alien being called Ihad (?) who fears Masakah and feels everyone should fear her.
He's unwilling to give too many more answers or details on what is going on, instead he hams up the room.
Which is the other problem I have with this episode, it's mostly just an excuse for Brent Spiner to chew scenery. And MAN does he get his calories in with this one. Way too many calories. So many calories During-the-Olympics Michael Phelps would tell him to maybe cut it back some.
Spiner is a good actor. I wouldn't say great, but he's good. He did a lot of good with Data in the show and movies and he did a lot of good with the other characters he portrayed during the series and the other times Data was taken over or possessed.
Here? Not so much. Here he eats so much scenery I'm surprised *this* wasn't the final episode and they just used him to strike the sets.
Data as Ihad or whatever reacts to Troi entering the room as if she's Masakah (ugh, I've got to come up with better names here) and bows to her. When he lifts his head his demeanor has changed, along with the stone on his chest, and in a deep, breathy, voice he reveres her. Saying every part of him is hers. Troi sighs because she just heard this at a convention that past weekend.
Picard recommends confining Data to quarters.
Geordi exposits that the alien program is rewiring Data's personality nodes, installing several different personalities in the same way the probe is using the replicators to create/change objects without any replication effects. Data has "Android Multiple Personality Syndrome" brought on by alien malware.
Picard goes to Data in order to learn more from these personalities and finds Breathy Fanboy still there saying he's all "hers" (which, again, Troi likely dealt with this a LOT in the 90s) and Picard wants to talk to… Loki. I'm going with Loki.
The show doesn't even give us the "benefit" of watching the plate on Data's chest change to represent the new personality instead we cut away and cut back when Loki comes back to talk to Picard.
Loki says he was only momentarily fooled by Troi/Masakah and gives a few more details of the alien queen and that she can only be defeated by another alien god, king, whatever. Picard wants to talk to it and, (cut and a cut back!) we do, this time seemingly as a frightened child. Before Picard can get much information the ship is rocked and suffers a power loss.
On the bridge, we find out a tractor beam and energy beam has locked onto the ship and now parts of the ship seem to be transforming into various things like rocks, twigs and palm fronds. Geordi explains that the materials aren't being beamed to the ship but are made up of their own matter, reconfigured. The living beings, including snakes, made up from their own DNA…. Which… What? So it turns tables and such in Ten Forward into obelisks and cubical rocks and turns, what, the microorganisms around the ship into palm fronds and snakes? Flakes of skin? Stray hairs? I mean, no people are missing so where's the living matter coming from?!
Picard decides to put his foot down (here a tip, Jean Luc, next time an alien probe locks onto your ship unexpectedly, how about cutting the cord right away instead of waiting to see what happens. Because when shit gets deep, it might be then too late to do anything about it) and wants Geordi to look into a way to sever the connection before the ship is entirely transformed. (And earlier attempt to use a torpedo, they stupidly thought Main Engineering was a good place to reconfigure, was thwarted by the changes.) Picard believes one of Data's personalities, namely Masakah is a route to go for more info.
Picard talks with Data more to find a withering old man voice by a firepit in Data's quarters, there's something of a conversation not to much unlike talking to your great-grandfather in the 14th inning of a Mets/Phillies game. He talks with Loki and the frightened child some more and is described yet another symbol, said to represent the only thing that can stop Mesakah, Loki offers the symbol at the cost of his life.
They input the symbol into the artifact's matter manipulation program and it changes part of the ship into a two-story tall temple. That's two stories of conduits, wiring, circuitry, gravity plates, computer nonsense all just whisked away to make a temple.
Picard, Worf and Troi explore the temple some, and find two symbols that they've not seen together before, one symbol representing Mesakah (a large sun-like symbol) and another, smaller, half-circle/crescent-like symbol. Picard thinks this is significant and uses his Indian Jones hat to speak about how ancient culture used the idea of balance and order to form their mythology.
Data sits in his quarters, no forehead symbol or chest plate piece, and opens his eyes. He slowly rises and heads out of the room, on his way picking up the pottery mask he made earlier. He knocks out the two inept guards on his way out.
Back in the "temple" Troi and the others find a more significant example of the crescent symbol with a smaller sun symbol. They conclude that the "mythology" of this battle is that of the sun and the moon chasing one another in a fight for power. Troi, points out that "like the sun and the moon, only one can be in ascendance at a time." Which…. Err…. Troi?
Okay, okay, maybe that might be true on Betazed. Maybe. But Picard and Worf both seem to accept this even though both have lived on/are from Earth where the sun and the moon very much can be in the sky at the same time. Happens ALL of the time in fact. Moreover, if we go meta here, if this episode is supposed to "mean something" in a greater sense we're supposed to accept Troi's line as absolute rule.
Meaning whomever wrote this episode has never seen… the sky.
Data appears at the top of the temple posing as Mesakah and doing his best, I dunno, Adam Sandler Lunch Lady voice, refuses to speak with Picard.
On the bridge, they have less than two hours left before the ship is completely transformed (again, this means that most of the ship has now been transformed into an alien temple or some other, conduits, power systems, antimatter pods, torpedoes and so on is now unrecognizable yet the ship hasn't exploded yet. There's also over 1000 people chilling it on the ship. Another example of the problem I had with Braga. Writing these big ideas without considering the "grander" things going on on the ship and what certain things happening really means.
Anyway, they access the crescent symbol in the program and a crescent-symbol based mask appears on the console. Picard proposes to wear it to pose as… Gorgon or whatever in order to convince Mass-caca to go away. Everyone is unsure how Picard will do this given what little they know, but Picard is sure as a archaeological hobbyist he'll figure it out.
Picard, as the moon god or whatever, goes to talk to Data they talk about fighting and how much they need the other and yadda, yadda. Eventually, Picard is able to get Data to submit and allow himself to fall asleep, this seems to undo and reverse the changes caused on the ship and return everything back to normal.
For me this episode is just painful and hard to watch, there's too much silliness and too much boredom in it to really hook me well. There's some tiny interesting parts but when it decided to become a Data Hams It Up show it became too much and then there's the ignoring any internal logic when it came to the show's technology and universe.
I know some like this episode, fine. But I don't. This episode, for me, just plain sucks.
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