Every single woman I’m friends with and likes Star Wars adores Rey. The idea that she’s not popular is absurd.
I'm not female and I think that, Rey is cool and has rather a lot of potential. The backstory and possible trickery by Ren was also cool. Is it a fake-out that her parents are alcoholics? Or was he sincere? (and had the trilogy's scripts been given another once-over, a fake-out spanning multiple movies in trying to get Rey and Ren together might have been a compelling twist, but anyway.) TLJ points out that genetic lineage doesn't make a Force-aware user since that little orphan boy who nicked Harry Potter's broom has the power too. Meaning, does the franchise really need Rey to be Obi Wan's daughter or whatever in order to get some sort of bogus fake connection/canonical points when the franchise can and should be able to make its own while standing on its own feet? Nope, she doesn't need to be Obi's or Boba's or Leia's cousin to be her own self, noting that the 1977-83 trilogy showed kissing cousins let's be grateful they don't go small universe and reveal Rey is their love child. (Now, the fan theory that Rey might be related to Darth Maul and Qira was intriguing - and as much as anyone can have Force aptitude, pairings from Force-sensitive users could be formidable. And Lucasfilm does need to expand on the lore, without making it too small-universe, especially as the novels are no longer canon (but bits can still be adapted and made canon, no big deal). Such a fan theory isn't over the top... (but if people are angry that Luke "uncharacteristically" failed and created Ren the way Obi-Wan failed and Anakin was created as a result, they won't be happy with anything. Which isn't to say the storylines have been perfect, but that's not the reason why.)
I don't see the sexism either. Look at Holdo. The chain of command trope was reasonably well done from what I remember. Swap genders for either Holdo and Poe and the key scenes make no difference, especially why commanding officers don't gossip to any oi' crewmember about their plans. In the military, there is a chain of command and one obeys. Mutiny is a serious issue.
But of nothing else, at least Han named his kid after Ben - just don't tell the gripers that Han named him Ben after believing all that Forcey-Worcey-Horsey-Dorsey* stuff being all true and out of reverence. I'm not the biggest SW fan but if I could see the obvious, how come hardcore SW fans couldn't??
* now the SW fans know how the hapless Doctor Who fans feel when listening to dialogue like "wibbly wobbley timey wimey humany wumany" that must surely have been removed from Teletubbies scripts ... but that's a mildly different argument, SW - even over the last few years - has treated its audience far better than DW had. Even with its gaffes, nothing is 100% perfect to begin with.