Except that Federation humans still usually follow the custom of the wife taking the husband's surname. So it seems more probable that Tom would be descended from some male sibling or cousin of hers. (I assume that Caroline Paris in ROTF is more like a great-great-great-great aunt or cousin N times removed of Tom's than a direct ancestor, for this reason. Also just because it's a large family, so it's statistically more likely for her to be an indirect ancestor than a direct lineal one.)
Yes and it's annoying
Just for the record Torres didn't.