most inappropriate thing you have ever seen/done?

[Admiral Shran]

OK, I'll talk.

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog.

When my mom sent me to this summer camp for fat kids and they served lunch, I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out.

But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then I made a noise like this - hua-hau-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, then this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

So, you're Mouth from the Goonies.

^No, it was a total barf-o-rama, he was Whil Wheaton's Character from Stand By Me.

Actually, it was Chunk from The Goonies.

 

[Roshi]

^Yeah, but to be honest I only saw that movie in my original language so the original names tend to escape me. But it's a mistake I'll no longer make!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Mr. Creosote?

 

[SicOne]

I had a one-night stand in college turn into a little two-week fling. She just couldn't get enough. After a few days, it was hard to walk.

That's not what was inappropriate, but I'm setting it up, laying the foundation for it. Stay with me.

So I go over to her sorority house to pick her up, park and go in the front door, thinking she'd be ready to go and in short order we'd be back in my room, making the beast with two backs. Nope. She's still getting ready. And has told all of her sorority sisters about the cute hunk she's screwing (me).

I walk in the door expecting MaryLisa, and instead there are forty college girls sitting on this ginormous wavy staircase, all looking at me in silence.

I shrugged, unzipped my fly, and said, "Alright, ladies (zippp!)...who's first?"

 

[Mistral]

I was in a local bar and a beautiful woman was sitting next to me at the bar itself. I guess I looked in her direction too many times because she finally catches my eye and asks, "What?"

Without hesitating I replied, "You're hot. Wanna fuck?" The handprint on my cheek took hours to fade away.

 

[Sorak]

When I was about 13 two friends of my family, husband and wife, divorced. We threw a party at our cottage and the father of the now divorced family was invited along with his 8-9 years old daughter. I had always thought she was a sad and lonely child but considering the difficult situation she was going through, hell if I didn't choose the worst moment to tell her! Suddenly out of nowhere I jump forward and ask her "Alice why are you such a sad girl?". Alice doesn't answer and his father tells her "Nevermind Alice, he's in an age when boys say a lot of stupid things".

I have NEVER felt so embarassed in my life ... eventually Alice turned out to have serious psychological issues including anorexia and has been under treatment for years. I was right.

 

[captcalhoun]

I had a one-night stand in college turn into a little two-week fling. She just couldn't get enough. After a few days, it was hard to walk.

That's not what was inappropriate, but I'm setting it up, laying the foundation for it. Stay with me.

So I go over to her sorority house to pick her up, park and go in the front door, thinking she'd be ready to go and in short order we'd be back in my room, making the beast with two backs. Nope. She's still getting ready. And has told all of her sorority sisters about the cute hunk she's screwing (me).

I walk in the door expecting MaryLisa, and instead there are forty college girls sitting on this ginormous wavy staircase, all looking at me in silence.

I shrugged, unzipped my fly, and said, "Alright, ladies (zippp!)...who's first?"

I was in a local bar and a beautiful woman was sitting next to me at the bar itself. I guess I looked in her direction too many times because she finally catches my eye and asks, "What?"

Without hesitating I replied, "You're hot. Wanna fuck?" The handprint on my cheek took hours to fade away.

 

[SicOne]

^ As much as I'd like to spin a tale about servicing an entire sorority house that sounds like something outta Penthouse Forum, the truth of the story was that all of the girls chuckled, MaryLisa came downstairs looking like a million bucks, gave me a big tongue-sucking kiss in front of everyone, and we departed to my dorm room. Sadly, we drifted apart a few weeks later. She was not a Trek fan. Fortunately, Mrs. SicOne is!

 

[jamestyler]

Champagne again to blame (when will I learn?!) At a party 2 weeks ago I swopped clothes with a guy in leather trousers. The only downer was he looked good in my dress and I couldn't do up the trousers ~ well he had no hips!!!

...that sounds awfully familiar. Though it was Dundee, and I ended up in the dress

Well, the most inappropriate thing I've ever seen is pretty easy - I've been flashed twice in my lifetime (once at a beach and once on a city street while out walking a dog) and that was pretty 'inappropriate' - to be asked for the time or for directions and ending up having a guy wagging his wiener at me.

Are you sure he wasn't just pointing the way?

I've probably done more than I remember. I seem to get to a level of drunk where I go into character and become, well... a bit of a dick. And when wrestlers get together... all rules go out the window.

Though one of the weirdest witnessed was a guy that used to train with us on the night I got engaged. He made a comment on one of the bar staff, then moments later jumped over the bar, clutching at her knees and began to pray that she'd take her phone number. We saw him praying for forgiveness later on and he didn't take too kindly to someone laughing.

Not the best way to get a date.