Ill

[Holdfast]

I'm ill.

Didn't even get any sympathy when I went to the Post Office counter to post some parcels - the girl said I was just suffering from man flu. "Man flu"! The cheek of it! She doesn't understand the severity of my sore throat and runny nose. I even noticed my muscles are aching.

I need sympathy.

And hot drinks.

Also, hot alcoholic drinks.

Hot girls are also gratefully accepted, though in my current debilitated state, I'll have to just lie back and let you do all the work.

This post IS an unashamedly attention-seeking search for the milk of human kindness and general compassion. However, to justify it for the board and not abuse my near-godly and Judge Dredd-esque moderator powers, I will also ask for any cures.

Others who are ill (even though none of you will surely even approach my cold for sheer depth of illness) may also post, in a joint seeking of sympathy.

 

[Philo]

You sick, sick man.

 

[Captain Intrepid]

Physician, heal thyself!

 

[Plecostomus]

Is your condition fatal? If yes can I give you a list of people to cough on?

 

[John Clark]

I think that particular bug has been going around recently. It's not fun

Get well soon.

 

[Elmo Dukat]

(snip)

I need sympathy.

And hot drinks.

Also, hot alcoholic drinks.

(snip)

Have a hot toddy:

 

[Captain Intrepid]

I actually do have a bit of a remedy. If you want something for your throat, and to clear you all up, some balsamic vinegar mixed with honey and hot water does wonders.

 

[MANT!]

My suggestion is simply Vodka...on fire...and convincing one of the ladies here to provide you with...comfort...

 

[blablover5]

I would try to feel sorry for you, but well you're still a cheeky bastard so you can't be that sick.

Call me when you're on Death's Door then I'll try to muster up some sympathy.

 

[Holdfast]

Physician, heal thyself!

That's exactly what the girl at the counter said too. Funny the first time I heard it.

You sick, sick man.

Yes, true, but what my cold?

Is your condition fatal? If yes can I give you a list of people to cough on?

You'll have to bring them to me. I can't raise myself off the sofa.

I think that particular bug has been going around recently. It's not fun

Get well soon.

Thanks. Yeah, this bug's definitely going around. Apparently one of the local school's has about half the staff off sick and I think other people at my hospital are also coming down with it. I should stay off work tomorrow too, I think, so as not to infect too many people...

 

[nevermore]

Kill it with whiskey.

 

[Holdfast]

Have a hot toddy:

Thank you. I tried sipping it but it made the screen messy.

I actually do have a bit of a remedy. If you want something for your throat, and to clear you all up, some balsamic vinegar mixed with honey and hot water does wonders.

I have all these ingredients. Will report back later...

My suggestion is simply Vodka...on fire...and convincing one of the ladies here to provide you with...comfort...

I have a bottle of Stoli in the freezer. I'll provide the booze; can you provide me with the ladies?

I would try to feel sorry for you, but well you're still a cheeky bastard so you can't be that sick.

Call me when you're on Death's Door then I'll try to muster up some sympathy.

Humour is my last remaining defence mechanism now that my immune system has failed me.

 

[Captain Intrepid]

Physician, heal thyself!

That's exactly what the girl at the counter said too. Funny the first time I heard it.

I'm all on top of the latest fads. Btw, just the other day I saw those pictures online that were really funny. They had cats in them, and were captioned so it looked like the cats were saying cute things with horrible spelling and grammar. Hilarious!

 

[1001001]

Get a straw, and suck it up!

 

[Captain X]

Yeah, suck it up, wuss!

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Get well soon, big H. My professional advice: Lemsip is your friend.***

I also recommend a daily dose of daytime television. Just don't get addicted to "Diagnosis: Murder" and "LazyTown" like I did when I was ill with gastroenteritis...



*** Other cold and flu remedies are also available

 

[RevdKathy]

Garlic. Lots and lots of garlic.

And why didn't you have your 'flu jab?

 

[trekkiedane]

An apple a day… you know…

I caught a cold -just the runny nose and general queasiness- but today I was sitting my mum's sick little dog while it was recuperating (it got all better and had the plug for the IV removed, hence the band-aid). ½ a day in bed with a dog works wonders!

 

[blablover5]

Garlic. Lots and lots of garlic.

I like your thinking, but sadly he's not a vampire. I already checked; he spent 5 hours just staring at himself in the mirror.

 

[Captain Intrepid]

I actually do have a bit of a remedy. If you want something for your throat, and to clear you all up, some balsamic vinegar mixed with honey and hot water does wonders.

I have all these ingredients. Will report back later...

If you have good balsamic, it's even a little tasty!