Disabled & Dating

[Kevman7987]

I don't know if this is the right type of forum to post this in or even if I should.

I (36M) am a physically disabled, Catholic, Star Trek fan and am trying to start dating to find a wife. I have Becker Muscular Dystrophy, which has left me wheelchair-bound. I'm finding it very difficult to get any attention from women. I'm posting this in order to ask for advice or any stories about how other disabled people have found their spouses or partners.

 

[Finn]

One tip...don't date in order to find a wife.

I suspect you might be trying too hard. Maybe try to find a social group. Do you have a social outlet? Do you have family in the area?

I found this facebook group in Cleveland, since Erie is kinda small. They might have members familiar with your area.

Hope all works out.

 

[Oddish]

I think that as long as it's not religion or politics (which is ostensibly permitted here in Miscellaneous but seems to be limited to TNZ by social convention) or spamming, you can post most anything in Misc. That's kind of what it's for.

And while I have no romantic advice to give, I certainly do wish you luck.

 

[StarCruiser]

Since you are Catholic - I would hope you actually do go to church events other than just Sunday services and Mass.

Lots of folks in most churches do participate in other events, plus charity activities (one thing the Catholic church still truly excels at).

As Finn stated - don't try TOO hard. Be yourself, be open and let nature take it's course.

 

[auntiehill]

One tip...don't date in order to find a wife.

THIS. A thousand times this. Dating solely to find a spouse is like shopping for new front door when you don't even have a house.

Go to activities, find groups, meet (online and in person) with friends, and friends of friends, etc to find people you LIKE. If you find a woman you like, then become friends.

I spent years upset because I never could find love. I finally gave up and decided to just find friends. I was pretty lonely and needed friends so I joined groups that were involved in things I liked---fan clubs, scifi conventions, making friends at work, etc. At one convention, I met a guy who was working there and seemed to be having a hard time. I offered a few kind words and he really appreciated it. We got to chatting and really hit it off. Long story short, he's the guy I married.

If you come off as someone "looking for a wife," women will run in the other direction. Look for someone you really LIKE, and maybe they will like you back. THEN, go from there.

 

[Oddish]

One tip...don't date in order to find a wife.

As Finn stated - don't try TOO hard. Be yourself, be open and let nature take [its] course.

THIS. A thousand times this.

And best to figure this out before you try too hard, fail repeatedly, get angry and frustrated and embittered, and just walk away from the whole thing. I did that. Not recommended.

 

[Mrs. Silvercrest]

I don't have your limits. But I do live with health issues. I am married so don't have to worry about that. But if I were not married, I am unsure what I would do. I think though, one of the most important things is to maybe look for friends and not worry about anything beyond that for a while. And look for someone who has things in common with you. That goes a long way I have found. As we get older, I don't know your age range. But having things in common is what keeps people together. My husband and I have been together, it seems forever now, but having lots of things to do together and talk about it what helps a lot. And of course, if you are a church going person you know having God in the relationship helps too. Be honest with your limits and also the things you can do. Hope this helps.

 

[rikkis045]

Dating can be hard enough without throwing a disability into the mix! I think it’s great that there are places like mental illness dating sites out there. It’s nice to find people who don’t see you as “less than” but just get where you’re coming from. It takes courage to put yourself out there, but finding someone who’s on the same page makes it worth it.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Removed spam link and closed thread for being over a year old.