Comic Caption Contest #7: Attack of the Killer Robot Army

[F. King Daniel]

Previously on Star Trek: The Comic Caption Contest...

KIRK: Yo?

SPOCK: (Jeezus H Christ, here we go again...)

McCOY: Yo!

SULU: Will you two asshats quit flashing gang signs at each other and give me helm olders? The Klingons are closing! Sheesh!

Hunter: Come on, it's just a cup of coffee...

Majel: I'm warning you Jeff, Gene's the jealous type. He wouldn't hesitate to hire a new lead.

McCoy: Jim, doesn't he know marijuana is still illegal?
Spock: It must be for his cataracts.

And another double win!

Picard: "Remember the rules. If Tasha says 'Hailing frequencies open,' we take a shot. If Worf says 'I'm a Klingon,' we take a shot. If Data says 'Intriguing,' we take two shots. If Geordi says 'My VISOR is picking up' something, that's two shots, too. If Wesley says anything at all, that's three shots. And if Beverly says 'Jean-Luc, there's something I have to tell you,' that's four shots. Got it?"

Riker: "We're going to get so wasted by the end of this episode."

Picard: "And if Deanna says she's 'sensing' anything, finish the bottle."

Troi: [stares stoically, trying not to cry]

You're all...

And now...

Kira has words with O'Brian

The Enterprise cruises toward a planet

Kirk, Spock and Scotty have a robot army problem

Kirk has words with his helmsman

A green guy has words with Geordi

 

[Christopher]

O'BRIEN: Every season they find new ways to torture me! I can't take it anymore!
KIRA: No, Chief! Serving yourself up as a dinner platter isn't the answer!

"Oh, no! Captain Spiff's starship has been turned into a crude drawing! All sense of proportion has been lost!
"The nacelles are too long and spindly! The saucer isn't even level!
"How can he be saved? What can be done?"

KIRK: We're sunk! Ohh, if only Captain Spiff were here!

CREWMAN: It's no use, Captain! I just can't get it to stop blinking "12:00"!
KIRK: Dammit, man, the manual's right there under your chair!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Deleted final scene from "In the Cards":

O'Brien: "I can't believe Giger's Cellular Regeneration and Entertainment Gizmo actually "ate" Weyoun. And this episode was so pleasant and cheery up 'till now".

Kira: "The "DS9 is dark and dreary" bunch are going to be so smug over this".

"And here we are. Our 100th planet".

"101, if you count the giant cheese. Trelane sure got us with that one!"

"A new hypothesis, gentlemen. Having visited the Gangster Planet, the Roman Planet, the Nazi Planet and, yes, the giant cheese, I have narrowed the possibilities down to two: a Mime-Artist Planet and a green gobstopper. Let us pray it's the latter".

"Captain's Log, stardate 1291.3. I've found if I give a log entry, the actual action taking place is postponed somehow. It's the only way half my log entries make sense. So I'm making this one while trying to think of what to do".

Helm: "Each of these course headings, if confirmed and laid in, will take us to untold misery, danger and trauma. Many redshirts will die. Each destination will haunt our nightmares for years to come. What are your orders, sir?"

Kirk: "I pick that one!"

 

[ProwlAlpha]

Kira has words with O'Brian

O'Brien:Major, how many times do I tell you! No more q-tips down the toilet.

Kira:I swear this is the last time.
The Enterprise cruises toward a planet

Sulu: It's the planet, Camelot.

Rest of the Crew: Camelot.

Spock: Its only a model.

Kirk, Spock and Scotty have a robot army problem

Kirk: Someone take out their batteries!

Kirk has words with his helmsman

Kirk: I told you across her nose not up it.

Helm: Sorry, sir I'm doing my best.

A green guy has words with Geordi

[/QUOTE]
La Forge: Nice hairdo.

Green Guy: Dang, I was hoping no one would notice.

La Forge: Did you go to Clott, I keep telling you he is not as good as Mott.

 

[Angstromdweller]

Port nacelle: "Is it just me or have we gone way out of shape lately?"
Starboard nacelle: "Who cares? It's not like the saucer and engineering hull are any better off."
Saucer: "Will you two just shut up and get me to that bloody planet any time soon!"

 

[Rat Boy]

O'Brien: "Major, why do you even need a hairdryer this big?"

Kira: "You wanna go back to waste extraction, Chief? Fix the damn thing!"

Scotty: "Suh, there's something really off about the Enterprise!"

Kirk: "Really? What's wrong?"

Spock: "It would appear that the sombrero is missing."

Kirk: "An army of kill-bots! Quick, what would Zapp Brannigan do?"

Navigator: "Uh, sir, don't you think we should worry about the Klingons?"

Kirk: "If you turn that channel away from NFL RedZone, you're a dead man!"

Green guy: "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Geordi: "It's just that, well, that thing on your head keeps moving whenever Counselor Troi shows up."

Green guy: "Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place, Commander."

 

[Christopher]

GEORDI: About time! I've been calling you for half an hour!
LIEUTENANT: I didn't hear you, sir! These new combadges Starfleet issued are just too tiny!
GEORDI: Damn! Bad enough they issued uniforms in this hideous shade of green -- uhh, no offense.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

O'Brien: "No worries Major, I'll have the heat turned up in a few seconds"

Kira: "Thank you Chief, Quark's staring at my breasts is not only creepy but I had to refrain from throwing him out an airlock!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

La Forge: "Are you prepared for the away mission to Paatalan IV, Lieutenant?"

Lieutenant: "Yes, sir. This hat is a perfect match for the helmet worn by Hunki'tok, God of Fertility, Virility and Sexual Prowess...Are you sure this is permitted?"

La Forge: "Look, ever since "Justice", the Prime Directive's out the airlock. Now remember, I'm Muny'bak, Metal-Eyed God of Wealth and Prosperity. I'll declare myself first, work the crowd a bit, then you come in looking imperious".

 

[SicOne]

Sorry, guys, I got nothin'. Besides, there's some pretty clever ones in here already!

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: Weird that this was full of vegetables and water. (sniff) That smells good. Whats cooking?

KIRA: O'Brien Stew. ( licks lips)

KIRK: I'm thinking we shouldn't have let Scotty do the repairs while drunk.

SCOTTY: ( tipsy) Still gotta a shuttle bay fulla parts I couldn't find a spot for.

KIRK: "Bidi bidi bidi"????

CREWMAN: You're late for our "Flock of Seagulls" Fanclub meeting!

 

[flandry84]

32370]

Geordi;"What is with your head,Johnson?"
Johnson;"Westmore ran out of ideas.."
Geordi;"Sucks to be you,man."

 

[Bob Karo]

Kirk: KLAATU BARAADA Necktie... Neckturn, Nickel?

 

[Christopher]

"At last! A planet, after all these weeks!"
"Do you think it has starship food?"
"It better! The poor Enterprise is all skin and bones!"

 

[F. King Daniel]

I'm sorry to announce that I'm putting the comic caption contests on hold. I may restart it at some point, I may not. It's been lots of fun, but I'm just not finding the time at the moment. Sorry

Here are the winners of contest 7...

O'Brien: "I can't believe Giger's Cellular Regeneration and Entertainment Gizmo actually "ate" Weyoun. And this episode was so pleasant and cheery up 'till now".

Kira: "The "DS9 is dark and dreary" bunch are going to be so smug over this".

"At last! A planet, after all these weeks!"
"Do you think it has starship food?"
"It better! The poor Enterprise is all skin and bones!"

Kirk: KLAATU BARAADA Necktie... Neckturn, Nickel?

Helm: "Each of these course headings, if confirmed and laid in, will take us to untold misery, danger and trauma. Many redshirts will die. Each destination will haunt our nightmares for years to come. What are your orders, sir?"

Kirk: "I pick that one!"

Green guy: "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Geordi: "It's just that, well, that thing on your head keeps moving whenever Counselor Troi shows up."

Green guy: "Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place, Commander."

You are all...