Boyfriends birthday - I'm not invited!

[K'Ehleyr]

Advice needed from boys and girls please....
Boyfriend of 4 years birthday is next Friday. We always do something special for b'days, anniversaries etc. I'd the idea of a dinner party at a friends for 6 pals. 'He' wants to go down the pub as always on a Friday night. I never go as it's 'boy's night'. Am I right in feeling a little put out? Or do we go with the 'it's his birthday he can do what he wants?'

 

[Deckerd]

You could crash the boys night wearing your klingon outfit. I guarantee he'll think twice the next birthday...

Seriously though - why can't he do both? A compromise.

 

[RoJoHen]

I'd say let him have his birthday however he wants it. You could always find a different way to do something with him. Maybe go out to dinner before he meets up with his friends?

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

I say let him do what he wants on his birthday. You could of course, have dinner before hand or even, the next day. Let the celebrations go on! My birthday celebrations lasted like 3 days with different groups of friends doing things for me.

 

[Chaos Descending]

I'd say you ought to find one of his friends that isn't going out with him that night and shag his brains out.

Bet your boyfriend doesn't fail to invite you next time.

 

[RoJoHen]

My birthday usually just lasts one night, and I rarely end up remembering it.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

You could crash the boys night wearing your klingon outfit. I guarantee he'll think twice the next birthday...

Seriously though - why can't he do both? A compromise.

There is no such thing as 'compromise' in Klingon affairs, it is an offence to our honour. He is a pahtK

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I'd say you ought to find one of his friends that isn't going out with him that night and shag his brains out.

Bet your boyfriend doesn't fail to invite you next time.

Unfortunately you haven't seen his friends

 

[Hermiod]

It may very well be that he just wants to treat the day as a normal Friday and not his birthday. Lots of people gradually treat their birthdays as just an ordinary day more and more as they get older.

 

[trampledamage]

I'd just say his birthday is on the Saturday and leave it at that

My family has always played fast and loose with the actual date of a birthday - we just celebrate on whatever day suits that's close by.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I say let him do what he wants on his birthday. You could of course, have dinner before hand or even, the next day. Let the celebrations go on! My birthday celebrations lasted like 3 days with different groups of friends doing things for me.

Hark at you Mr Popular.
It could be done on the Saturday, after he's had lunch at Dads and been to the pub for Sat afternoon beers..... Yeah, I'll just fit in around that

It's what comes from dual parentage - the Klingon side of me says it's a matter of dishonour, the human side says good luck - hope you have a miserable evening

 

[RevdKathy]

I'd ring round all the girlfriends, send out for a take-away, get several bottles of vodka and a few girlie videos. Tell him to stuff his birthday up his manly arse, and he's not welcome back till Sunday, as you and the girls are having a sleepover. Bolt the door. When he returns from the pub, chain the door, answer in sexy lingerie slightly drunk and libidinous. Remind him he can't come in till Sunday. Lay on with a trowel the wonderful time you're having without him.

When it gets to your birthday, book to go away on your own, hinting loudly at the presence of other gentlemen. Sauce for the goose and all that.

 

[Hermiod]

^That's the road to Dumpsville, USA.

 

[RevdKathy]

Hmm... well, that might be how I would feel about such a boyfriend.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I'd ring round all the girlfriends, send out for a take-away, get several bottles of vodka and a few girlie videos. Tell him to stuff his birthday up his manly arse, and he's not welcome back till Sunday, as you and the girls are having a sleepover. Bolt the door. When he returns from the pub, chain the door, answer in sexy lingerie slightly drunk and libidinous. Remind him he can't come in till Sunday. Lay on with a trowel the wonderful time you're having without him.

When it gets to your birthday, book to go away on your own, hinting loudly at the presence of other gentlemen. Sauce for the goose and all that.

Thank you I adore the plan and the wonderful use of the word 'libidinous'. Now for a well thought out 'present'. Socks? Used naturally

 

[K'Ehleyr]

^That's the road to Dumpsville, USA.

I'm safe then, he's too cheap to buy a ticket to the states

 

[Hermiod]

^That's the road to Dumpsville, USA.

I'm safe then, he's too cheap to buy a ticket to the states

It's a one way trip, makes things cheaper.

 

[xerxes99]

I'm not an expert, but have been married for 10+ years through some ups and downs.

I'd say to not let this bother you too much. I don't see any reason to be paranoid unless you have some real other reason to, and giving him the benefit of the doubt is necessary for a strong relationship. Wanting to spend time with his friends is a normal and healthy thing in a relationship, and he likely doesn't see wanting to go out with them as anything against you.

Having said that, be honest with him and tell him that it is important to you to celebrate his Birthday with him on Saturday. Part of a good relationship involves making things important to you because they are important to your partner, even if you don't fully understand it or feel the same. So, hopefully you can let him go out since it is important to him, and he will go out with you the next day since it is important to you.

Best wishes with it all either way.

 

[shrantastic]

I wouldn't make it an issue (because then you're just showing him what pushes your buttons); but I would certainly take it as a red flag. You have been going out with this guy for four years, he should want to spend his birthday with you.

 

[Ashu]

I dont see why he cant spend a birthday doing what he wants. Or why you guys cant do something else for his birthday on another day.

I mean, you guys have been together for four years, and probably will be together for a bit longer than that, so what's wrong with changing it up a bit and little flexibility?