Aging - Health and Wisdom

[Elder Knight]

We bought a house with a swimming pool in about 11 years ago. Though I ignored it for some time, I eventually began to get into the pool and exercise or about an hour of each day. Much better that conventional exercise, in my opinion. I'd just do leg and arm flexes continually , using foam "weights" that you pulled down instead of up. Made 'em up as I went along, do 100, 200 and so on. I think it helped, and I hated to miss a day's workout. My temperature standards dropped. This year I'd go in if the temp were 65 F or better so long as there was no sharp wind! Cold but satisfying (I'm not a native Floridian!) I always took our two cats to the pool area with me so they could roam around while I did my thing.

It was tough in the winter. This was Florida, and in some years, I might be unable to do so throughout December, in others (like this year) I couldn't get back to it until late February. I need to come up with a winter alternative for next year.

 

[Elder Knight]

I had full knee replacements in both legs, 16-17 years ago (one year between). Joints are still solid, despite persistent osteoarthritis in just about every other joint. No regrets, though I was told that I was "young" (i.e., early 50s) for it.

 

[scotpens]

I think of my medications as chemical crutches, propping up a body that is gradually falling apart.

I think of it this way: There are worse things than having to take a bunch of pills every day. Like dying, f'rinstance.

 

[Tim Walker]

Lessons learned over the decades:

1. Life is tough.

As an example that applies to many people-the lose of your grandparents, early in life.

We could make a really long list with this one.

2. You gradually learn that there are a few things you are good at; a number of things you are average at, a few things you really suck at.

An example-I really sucked at things such as dating/courtship, that sort of thing. Utterly incompetent at romance.

(Which leads to my greatest regret in life-never had a life partner, never started a new family-maybe some of us are meant to be alone).

 

[Alexander Corrino]

Lessons learned over the decades:

1. Life is tough.

As an example that applies to many people-the lose of your grandparents, early in life.

We could make a really long list with this one.

2. You gradually learn that there are a few things you are good at; a number of things you are average at, a few things you really suck at.

An example-I really sucked at things such as dating/courtship, that sort of thing. Utterly incompetent at romance.

(Which leads to my greatest regret in life-never had a life partner, never started a new family-maybe some of us are meant to be alone).

That is a conclusion I've come to as well with age - some of us are indeed meant to be alone. I used to never understand my mother when she said she wouldn't want to "adjust to having a man in my life again" after my father was out of the picture, but now I very much understand what she meant. At some point you just become unwilling to compromise and you have your daily life and the last thing you want is to have all of it upended by someone else who wants you to move in with them or whatever.

I've always been terrible at relationships (partly due to trauma, partly due to being completely inept at romance, think of Data trying to be romantic and you get a good idea of what I can be like), at first nobody would even look at me, then the WRONG men chose to look at me and now no one looks at me again, but, unlike it was when I was young, I'm not unhappy about it. I just don't WANT it. (In any way. I'm not the one night stand type either.) I like my independence too much and I'm utterly unwilling to compromise on this now. The only thing I could see is dating someone who either lives far away or someone who also has their own life and does not want to move in together or whatever. But that's where things get complicated because most people DO want a close relationship. So yeah. I'm fairly certain I'm someone who's meant to be alone (aside from falling in love with fictional men but I'm not sure they count, lol).

Sure I sometimes find myself thinking "what if things had gone down a different path, what's the AU like in which I have a nice boyfriend or husband and maybe even some kids" but then I also think "oh God no, some AUs are meant to remain AUs".

 

[Kraig]

Yes, exactly, plantars foot is another name for plantar fasciitis; I wear special insoles to keep this problem under control.

To keep track of my medications, I got one of those plastic containers that organize pills by day of the week, and AM/PM.

I think of my medications as chemical crutches, propping up a body that is gradually falling apart.

I found a YouTube video with stretching exercises that helped me with Plantar Fasciitis:

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I only had to do the exercises for about a week and haven't had the pain since.

I take medication to lower my blood pressure, a statin for cholesterol control, metformin and a weekly injection of terzepatide for Diabetes type II. Also, I use an allergy nasal spray (fluticsone propionate) the doctor prescribed, but is available over the counter at Costco for less than my copay for the prescription under the name of Aller-Flo. I take supplements because some of my medications reduce the amount. I have two of the plastic pill containers for meds. I was taking half my pills in the morning, and half in the evening. My primary care doctor said none of my oral medications have any interactions, so now, using both pill containers, I set up my meds for 14 days at a time.

I'm over weight, but the terzepatide (Mounjaro) has dropped my waist size by 4 inches. The doctor has me on the lowest dose to start, and will probably increase it when I see him next month.

I spend 30 minutes at night watching the local evening news while exercising on a stationary bicycle.

 

[Fantasy Lover]

I'm turning 31 this year, my childhood movies are getting remade (thanks Disney /s), I'm having more grey hairs on my left temple, I get annoyed that interesting TV programmes are playing past 8 pm because it requires staying up late and I can't watch them in the morning because I get spoilers! And I bought a noice cancelling headphone because I can't deal anymore with the sensory overload with people TALKING on a bus/tram

 

[Santaman]

One issue that I keep seeing in older people and slowly myself is that the world isn't "mine" anymore, it's becomming increasingly a place where I don't (feel) like I belong in.
Technology is creeping up everywhere and changing so fast that I simply can't keep up with it, also that "they" keep changing stuff and things just aren't the way they used to be anymore.
At the moment it's not too bad but when I look at my father who's in his 80's and see how he can't deal with some things it does seem like it will become a problem when I get up to his age.
I grew up with (early) computers, he didn't but I didn't grow up with the whole mobile thing, social media, A.I. and so on so that's probably going to be a limitation at some point.

 

[Kraig]

One issue that I keep seeing in older people and slowly myself is that the world isn't "mine" anymore, it's becomming increasingly a place where I don't (feel) like I belong in.
Technology is creeping up everywhere and changing so fast that I simply can't keep up with it, also that "they" keep changing stuff and things just aren't the way they used to be anymore.
At the moment it's not too bad but when I look at my father who's in his 80's and see how he can't deal with some things it does seem like it will become a problem when I get up to his age.
I grew up with (early) computers, he didn't but I didn't grow up with the whole mobile thing, social media, A.I. and so on so that's probably going to be a limitation at some point.

None of the employees in retail, younger than 50 know how to count back change. I was just at the grocery store behind someone who was paying with cash, and the check-out clerk didn't enter how much he gave her, and then couldn't figure out how much change to give the customer for the ten dollar note he gave her.

 

[Weyoun 251]

Some of what I write here will come across as privileged and won't (and can't) consider everyone's situation.

Please simply take it as things I have heard (and thought myself) and my experience on them

1) There is never "not enough time" to care for your health - you think you don't have an hour to visit the doctors or can't take a day off work because you are run down? Well if you don't do anything at all then you are guaranteed to have a lot less time to spare when your life expectancy shortens or what you think is a cold turns out of be something more severe and turns a one day "sofa and blanket" day into a week in bed

2) Counselling/psychiatrists is only for really big problems, I don't need one -

a) all problems are relative and all that matters is how it feels to you, not how it compares to anyone else.

b) The brain is an organ just like your lungs and heart. You want to strengthen them, you go to the gym/exercise. You find yourself struggling to effect change on your own? Get a PT.

Counsellors/therapists/etc ARE. JUST. PTs. FOR. YOUR. BRAIN!! Same way I don't expect the person on the street to know biomechanics and training protocols, I don't expect them to be experts in the mind - it is normal to seek professional expertise for pretty much anything else (except Brexit apparently...cos we woz sick of experts innit...totes not still bitter) so lets normalise it for your brain too.

Speaking of exercise though - oxygen to the brain is your friend. Exercise doesn't have to mean marathons and weight lifting (although if that's your jam then do it friends) - simply walking for 30 minutes and getting that air into your lungs can change things more than you realise.

3) Mindfulness is hippy shit - first time I got told about it that was my reaction (actually technically mine included far worse language and things I wouldn't say these days) because it just sounds so fucking stupid when you are first exposed to these techniques and the language surrounding it.

So lets take a step back, forget the technical language - it means just focussing on what you are doing and allowing yourself to enjoy the moment. We spend so much of our lives dual screening or trying to multitask and don't stop to actually find the joy in certain things.

If I was an influencer and I was talking about cooking (my go to activity when practicing mindfulness) I'd say "as you slowly stir the rich, brilliantly red ragu in a clockwise motion consider the journey the ingredients have taken to get here and how that has created the brilliant medley of aromas that make you feel like you are in Italy" - WANKY!!! PRETENTIOUS!!! If done in Nigella Lawson's voice sexy as hell...

Instead I've put my phone out of the way, set aside time so I am not feeling rushed, and spend half of it thinking "don't chop your fingers off", "this is gonna taste banging", "oooo shit, I'd swear I had the pepper in my hand a second ago" but what I'm allowing myself to do is focus entirely and without interruption on a passion of mine (cooking), subconsciously relaxing due to the slow and smooth movement of the spoon in the pan stirring things, and leaving behind any and all worries or feelings of failure because in that moment I am the best damn ragu making SOB and I am going to get genuine and untainted satisfaction when I eat this

4) I don't need sleep - studies have shown that 3 days at sub 6hrs sleep has the same effect as being tipsy. 1 day at sub 3 hrs and tipsy starts to perform better at times.

It can be hard as everyone has different natural sleep rhythms but unless yours is programmed for post midnight (in which case I am truly sorry and until we change the 9-5 culture to reflect differences it is harder) most people can get 7 hours a night if they are patient and consistent so that the routine forms

For those who work shifts this is immeasurably harder and I don't have anything I can advise other than try to find a time that regardless of which shift you work can form the centre of your day and plan something consistent for that to help keep you centred.

As an example a friend of mine is a musician and he can be working anytime from 1pm up to 3am - makes things tough, right? But 11am is the sweet spot - no matter what time he finishes work he can more or less guarantee 7 hours of sleep before then and so goes to the gym every day at 11 as he "centre point"

5) I tried all of that but nothing happened - did you? Really? Reaaaaalllllyyyy? Oh for 3 weeks? Rome wasn't built in a day and this isn't a magic wand. It will take time and how long will differ from person to person.

Don't look for the big changes, look for the little ones - the first day you wake up a minute before your alarm and are ready to jump out of bed (and not because you need a piss); noticing a smile on your face that you didn't even consciously put there; when you don't think to do something but instead just do it because it is now part of your lifestyle (and can add that little nugget of mental energy reserved for thinking back into your day's allowance)

Small steps each and everyday produce giant leaps over time



So...I didn't do the above - or to be more accurate I did some bits but could not allow myself to do others.

I found a million and one environmental factors to explain my deterioration

I'm not the problem - everyone else is!

I'm about 5 weeks now into being signed off work sick because by the time I listened to my body it was "too late" and with the time it takes to go through the various processes of diagnosis, consultants, determining treatment, obtaining it etc I'd reached a point where I couldn't function well enough to do my job

I am damn lucky that my company have stood by me as they could have just gone "nah, not our problem" due to being in my probationary period with them; I'm also damn lucky that my parents can help support me financially as without that I couldn't have taken this time.

This is a horrendously tough time right now in terms of not fully knowing what the future holds and so you'd reasonably expect my mental state to have deteriorated too - well funnily enough it turns out that mental and physical go hand in hand and knowing that I am on the right path and that I have people around me to help means I feel clearer headed than I have in years

That has meant it has then been 10x easier for me to being the process of taking back control of my life and putting into place the habits that will underpin my future

Sadly it doesn't unfuck the mistakes of the past (and there are people I've worked with who I wish I could go back and treat differently knowing what I do now) but it does highlight them in neon fucking yellow and give me the platform to do it right going forward


Don't take your health for granted people and don't be afraid to seek help - the longer you put it off the more it will take and the harder things will be but also if you have put it off it doesn't mean its too late, you are just taking the scenic route instead

 

[MrShinzoff]

This is a really interesting thread!

I turned 42 in January and I honestly love getting older. I now feel like I'm currently in the process of discovering who I actually am as a person and getting beyond the jumble of insecurity, culturally programmed ideas, and emotional immaturity that seemed to comprise my standard experience of life and relationships. I also feel like I'm taking action in my life rather than experiencing a sense that life is just happening to me and that I'm a passive witness. There will always be problems but I feel I'm dealing with them, and I'm enjoying it all. I am far more compassionate and curious about people too (up to a very strict point: traitors and abusers etc get very little - if any at all). And I now take much greater care over my health and wellbeing.

My teenage years and most of my 20s were very unhappy times and I feel like what I did then - essentially trying to endure and survive that time - was successful and it was worthwhile.

 

[Gryffindorian]

I have a shirt that says, "I don't know how to act my age ... I've never been this old before." And it's true!

 

[Delta Vega]

When I was 30, I looked 20
When I was 40, I got away with 30 something
Still looked younger than my years at 50, but between 50 and 60, arthritis and thyroid problems have kicked in, trouble with my larynx etc
When I got to 60 I still felt that I looked younger, but my health, and my body were telling me that I was in fact getting old, I've put on weight and as a five foot eight guy, I know I'm carrying too much.
I'm now 64, and for the first time really feel old, but thankfully still give the illusion of looking younger
Getting old is shit though, and when I see some posts on here mourning the fact they are 30 or 40, I'm sorry to say, it gets much, much worse.

 

[Tim Walker]

I recently had a discussion with a friend (a few years older than me) regarding memory. It seems to take longer, in general, to remember specific details. Our theory is that after a number of decades, there are now many more memories for your mind to sift through to find those specific details.

Another thing I have noticed is that the years tend to blur together. Most years, it seems, there is nothing that really stands out. There are exceptions-for example, early 2020 stands out because of the appearance of Covid.

 

[Picard1994]

I'm turning 31 this year, my childhood movies are getting remade (thanks Disney /s), I'm having more grey hairs on my left temple, I get annoyed that interesting TV programmes are playing past 8 pm because it requires staying up late and I can't watch them in the morning because I get spoilers! And I bought a noice cancelling headphone because I can't deal anymore with the sensory overload with people TALKING on a bus/tram

Welcome to old age friend. I'd like to tell you it gets better, but since I can lie with a straight face you'd only get confused.

 

[Fantasy Lover]

Thanks, I guess

 

[Commander Troi]

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other day and thought I looked like my (77 year old) mother. It really bothered me. I worry that as I lose weight, my face will get gaunt and look older. Then I wonder why I bother with my skincare routine.

I know this is just vanity, and it bothers me that this bothers me. But how do I become more accepting of the visible signs of aging?

 

[Picard1994]

Thanks, I guess

You're welcome.

 

[Aragorn]

Is urgent care a waste of time and money? Had a foot issue, went to urgent care, they could see that I had a foot issue, but they didn't examine it, no machines (do they even have any?), no prescription, no nothing. Told me to see my primary care, who immediately freaked out over it and told me to go to the ER. Turned out to be nothing, but the ER gave me multiple exams, used machines, drew blood, gave me medicine and fluids, gave me prescriptions.

Now I have an arm issue. Probably nothing, but it's been acting up for a few weeks now. Nothing continuous, but random instead. So should I just go straight to the ER?

 

[Kraig]

Is urgent care a waste of time and money? Had a foot issue, went to urgent care, they could see that I had a foot issue, but they didn't examine it, no machines (do they even have any?), no prescription, no nothing. Told me to see my primary care, who immediately freaked out over it and told me to go to the ER. Turned out to be nothing, but the ER gave me multiple exams, used machines, drew blood, gave me medicine and fluids, gave me prescriptions.

Now I have an arm issue. Probably nothing, but it's been acting up for a few weeks now. Nothing continuous, but random instead. So should I just go straight to the ER?

I had an issue with my leg, where blood was clotting below the knee. My primary care doctor couldn't see me for several days. I went to urgent care. My urgent care told me to go to the ER because I need to have my leg scanned. When I get to the ER, I tell them urgent care sent me and I get in relatively quickly. The last time I did go to the ER was during peak Covid and there weren't very many waiting.

If the arm issue isn't continuous, you should probably see your primary care doctor. I had a torn rotator cuff and dislocated left shoulder. My primary care doctor prescribed physical therapy. It corrected the problem without surgery. If you go to the ER, they would probably want to perform surgery, especially if you have good insurance, then prescribe physical therapy afterward, in order to maximize profit. The primary care doctor doesn't perform surgery or provide physical therapy, but would probably know what is best for you and doesn't have a profit motive, since he gets paid the same no matter which one he prescribes. Of course, that only applies in the US where our medical system is for profit.