Are you lonely?

[Zulu Romeo]

Chances are that if you're young and tech-savvy, then you're more likely to be lonely than the elderly:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8701763.stm

Loneliness is more prevalent among the young than those past retirement age, a survey suggests, amid profound changes in the way we live and interact.

Across all ages one in 10 people in the UK often feel lonely, the Mental Health Foundation has found, a state which can impact upon one's physical health.

The charity highlights the decline of community and a growing focus on work.

Technology can isolate but is also an unrivalled means of connecting people, the poll of 2,256 people concludes.

....

Personally speaking, I can understand this a lot. Most of my conversations with family tend to be via telephone (for parents) and online (for siblings and cousins) via tha place beginning with F and rhyming with Grace-Look. I guess I should get out more (if I can afford the expense).

But yeah, it seems we're all sharing a drink we call loneliness.

Still, it's better than being alone.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I was lonely as a teenager and young adult and that was in the days before computers and mobile phones. So it might not be that technology is isolating young people it might be that younger people have a greater need for physical presence of other people than older people do.

I only have two close friends. I talk to one of them on the phone quite a bit but I see her far less frequently. We occasionally go to the cinema, we celebrate our birthdays and Christmas together, occasionally she visits me. When we were younger we spent far more time together (we have been friends for 24 years). My other close friend is my first friend's sister but I see even less of her because of her work commitments.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I am "lonely" in the sense that the Atlantic Ocean is "a bit damp".

In other words: VERY.

And I'm 40 years old. And still lonely. How pathetic is THAT?

 

[Gryffindorian]

I don't see myself being lonely as much as I get saddened at times by the things I see or hear in the news or everyday life. I'm just surrounded by way too many people every day that sometimes I wish I could be stranded on an island by myself. I live in a house with several family members. I work in accounting that involves a lot of interpersonal contact with employees. I'm an introvert at heart and appreciate the little, private, quiet times I have to myself.

 

[Amaris]

I was.

 

[RoJoHen]

I feel lonely when I have time to think about it. One of the reasons I moved back here was to be closer to all my friends, many of whom I work with and see most days out of the week. But sometimes when I come home and sit around by myself, I wish I had someone to come home to (besides my cat).

I find it incredibly difficult to meet and befriend new people. I have a lot of existing friends, and I love many of them deeply, but sometimes I'm afraid that I'm never going to find a deep, lasting connection with anyone new.

 

[Rek]

If 21 counts as young then maybe me sometimes. Friendships and relationships are something I don't tend to feel the need for, but I like them when I get it right. Sadly, I don't often risk even attemping to "get them right" unless their online. As I said before I avoid real life.

 

[PlainSimpleJoel]

Do I feel lonely? Yes and no. It depends on the day and my mood. For several months, I didn't want to speak to anyone, via IM or skype. I do like being alone. I speak to my parents and siblings now and then (via skype).

With facebook I'm gonna getting bored of it. Lost all interest in playing games on there. Generally it's quick scroll of my friends a few times a day. There can be several days without an update, as my life sucks.

 

[JonathonWally]

Not really.

I'm very social and like being around other people, so I do that a lot. I have a job where I'm with tons of people, in very public settings. I always have people over my house, quite a few of my friends have open invitations to just stop by. I'm back in school so I'm there a lot, and when I have free nights, I go to a bar and have a few beers and hang with people.

Relationship wise, eh, I find a girl I click with and we chill.

I keep things pretty simple, no complicated bullshit, no drama.

Though, it does pain me that I have friends too far away for them to show up at my place and have a beer and chill when they're feeling down.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Right now I am. I haven't been able to see my girlfriend much at all the past few months and sometime that gets me to wondering if we are really good for a each other. I never like to burden anyone with my problems, not even her, but it has been a stressful time as of late and sometimes I actually miss having a support system.

Ironically though right now I am also in one of my strange anti-social moods. Usually I can summon up enough strength to be social to people, but every now and again I just can't stand to be around people at all. I get uncomfortable just being around them and I want to hide away whenever I am among them. I even had a social anxiety attack in group therapy the other day. That's not good when you are too anxious to even be in therapy.

Of course a fringe benefit for you guys is lately that mood has extended to posting here as well so you guys get much less of me. If it wasn't for the Lost finale I'd probably be hiding from you guys too.

 

[Daneel]

Short answer: yes.

More detailed answer: I have trouble forging deep, meaningful relationships with people. Don't know why, but I always have. I guess I'm just naturally introverted. I have a lot of good acquaintances, and I actually get along quite well with most people I know, but I don't really have anyone I would call a "good friend".

Most of the time, it doesn't bother me too much -- I find ways to keep myself content. Sometimes, though, it really hits me, and I realize just how isolated I am. For instance, tomorrow is my birthday -- I currently have no plans. Heck, I doubt anyone outside of my family even remembers that it's my birthday.

I'm trying not to make this one of those "woe-is-me" posts, really I am (), but that's how I find things. Like I said, most of the time, it doesn't bother me that much, but I do occasionally think it would be nice to have a strong friendship or two.

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Happy birthday Daneel. I hope you can do something nice for yourself.

 

[Goji]

Not really. I used to want to be around people more. I thought it was wrong or bad somehow that I wasn't. But now I know it's for the best. The worst parts of my life have always come from being with others, or wanting to be and not being able to. I was never cut out for it and lying to myself that it would come in time caused me years of unpleasantness. I threw that all away and am better for it. I belong by myself, and that is where I will remain.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

I feel lonely sometimes but it's not through lack of communicating or socialising with others it's more that all my family, friends and the people I work with are not on the same intellectual level as me. I feel suffocated by their ignorance. They just talk absolute shit, there's just no sophistication to the conversations at all and If I try to have an intellectual conversation they look at me as if to say "what the f**k are you talking about" and then proceed to talk about their night out on the town and how many people they made out with.
An example would be that during the UK election I liked to discuss it but nobody I knew away from the net had any interest, none of them even bother voting. They didn't even know the names of the party leaders.

 

[JarodRussell]

LOL, this thread is just lovely.

 

[Kestra]

For instance, tomorrow is my birthday -- I currently have no plans. Heck, I doubt anyone outside of my family even remembers that it's my birthday.

Happy Birthday! I know what you mean. I don't need to be surrounded by a lot of people, and actually some of my friends just asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday in June, and I said I didn't want to do anything. But that's just because I'm married and I have someone who will take me out to dinner. Birthdays aren't a big deal to me, but I just want someone to remember and have a low-key evening with, even if it's just one person.

I think being married keeps me from being lonely to a great degree. And I meet new people and make friends fairly easily, so my social life is actually a bit too stressful. I do feel isolated from people around me to a degree I shouldn't, but I interact with enough people on a daily basis to keep pretty happy.

 

[scotpens]

I feel lonely sometimes but it's not through lack of communicating or socialising with others it's more that all my family, friends and the people I work with are not on the same intellectual level as me. I feel suffocated by their ignorance. They just talk absolute shit, there's just no sophistication to the conversations at all and If I try to have an intellectual conversation they look at me as if to say “what the f**k are you talking about . . . ”

Well, that's why we're all here on Trek BBS -- to schmooze, discuss, debate, and commiserate with fellow geeks!

. . . But yeah, it seems we're all sharing a drink we call loneliness.

Still, it's better than being alone.

It's like I told you. Only the lonely can play.

 

[Goliath]

My mother died the other day. I went to her retirement home for the funeral. I sat up all night with some of her friends from the home, and in the morning, she was buried.

I went home, and since I had the day off from work, I went for a swim. I met Marie at the beach. We had always fancied each other, but nothing ever came of it.

We went back to my room and made love. She asked me if I loved her. I said it didn't matter but I didn't think so. That made her a bit sad, I think. Later we went to the movies.

Then, yesterday, while I was at the beach, I shot an Arab. I hadn't intended to, but the sun was so hot and bright, and he pulled a knife, and the sun reflected off the blade.

Now I'm in jail. My lawyer asked me if I felt any grief at my mother's funeral. When I told him no, he told me to keep it to myself.

In our society, he says, any man who doesn't cry at his mother's funeral is liable to be condemned to death.

 

[Deckerd]

I am "lonely" in the sense that the Atlantic Ocean is "a bit damp".

In other words: VERY.

And I'm 40 years old. And still lonely. How pathetic is THAT?

You're a Fleet Admiral on this board, which suggests that you have a few friends here...

 

[TheBrew]

I was.

Oh really?