Touch aversion

[Moviefan2k4]

I used to have a major problem with others touching me, particularly in my teen years. Part of it came from the fact I was beaten up all the time, so I always feared the next person who approached was going to attack. But after some time and prayer (plus lots of talk therapy), I managed to get past the bulk of it. I can shake hands with most folks now, and hold civil discussions too. I still have a small problem looking folks in the eyes, but that ties back into the insecurity I had for most of my life. I was taught that "the eyes are the window to the soul", and I was scared that if anybody looked me in the face long enough, they'd see how scared I was, or the darkness I struggled to control.

 

[JD]

I don't like strangers touching me, but I'm OK with family, except I'm not a big hugger. I only do hugs in extreme situations like if a family member or one of our pets dies, and even then it's only with people I'm very comfortable with.
I'm fine with animals though, I love when our dogs come up to share the couch with me, or when horses I see on my walks/bike rides want to give me a hug or put their heads over my shoulder.

 

[Moviefan2k4]

I don't like strangers touching me, but I'm OK with family, except I'm not a big hugger. I only do hugs in extreme situations like if a family member or one of our pets dies, and even then it's only with people I'm very comfortable with.
I'm fine with animals though, I love when our dogs come up to share the couch with me, or when horses I see on my walks/bike rides want to give me a hug or put their heads over my shoulder.

I used to be a big hugger, particularly with my Mom (she called me her "big bear" for it). But after she passed away, I became more selective with the people I hugged...especially women. I can hug my two sisters, my cousin Connie, and a couple of lady friends from my church, but that's pretty much it for the moment.

 

[scotpens]

I have a rather strong sense of personal space and don't like unsolicited touching from strangers. At social occasions (which I rarely attend) people sometimes give me the air-hug-and-kiss, which is like miming a hug and a kiss on the cheek without making actual physical contact. Do you know anyone who does that? It seems to be more of an L.A. thing.

 

[Moviefan2k4]

I have a rather strong sense of personal space and don't like unsolicited touching from strangers. At social occasions (which I rarely attend) people sometimes give me the air-hug-and-kiss, which is like miming a hug and a kiss on the cheek without making actual physical contact. Do you know anyone who does that? It seems to be more of an L.A. thing.

I've never had that experience, but it does sound very strange.

 

[C.E. Evans]

I have a rather strong sense of personal space and don't like unsolicited touching from strangers. At social occasions (which I rarely attend) people sometimes give me the air-hug-and-kiss, which is like miming a hug and a kiss on the cheek without making actual physical contact. Do you know anyone who does that? It seems to be more of an L.A. thing.

I've never had that experience, but it does sound very strange.

I've seen that done in a few movies. Depending on the setting, it's either a faux or genuinely fond greeting.

 

[publiusr]

I am asexual but I don’t think that is it. Maybe I just don’t like people in my personal space.

Am I strange? Or are others on the Trekbbs like me?

Haircuts don’t bug me, but I have never been a big hugger

 

[scotpens]

I've never had that experience, but it does sound very strange.

I've seen that done in a few movies. Depending on the setting, it's either a faux or genuinely fond greeting.

Here in Los Angeles it can be both. This town is full of phonies -- but sincere phonies!

 

[PoorSailorsAirline]

This has been really interesting to read, and my thanks for bringing it up. As the thread went on, I realized...I'm 100% a total hugger. Mind you, I seem to run with a pretty similarly minded group of friends, family, even some colleagues, but still... Very, very good reminder.

Sometimes, people "give" hugs because they feel they need them. That's not a justification for invading someone's personal space, but I'm just throwing it out there to offer some possible additional perspective.

Huh. Giving others what they need for themselves. I haven't heard that one yet, but it's an interesting take.

 

[Jack Wolfe]

Sometimes, people "give" hugs because they feel they need them. That's not a justification for invading someone's personal space, but I'm just throwing it out there to offer some possible additional perspective.

“Never trust a hug. It’s just a way to hide your face.” ― The 12th Doctor

 

[fireproof78]

Huh. Giving others what they need for themselves. I haven't heard that one yet, but it's an interesting take.

We have to bear in mind that as people, we don't to interpret people's behaviors through our own lens of experiences. So, if we want to get to know them then a recognizing that how they are expressing themselves is a reflection of their needs and values.

 

[Richard S. Ta]

I shake hands, I hug, I can go to the barber and whatever.

But all of that is on my terms.

What I don’t like is people suddenly leaning on me, slapping my arm, tapping my shoulder… all of that stuff tends to be males doing alpha shit. Like, ‘I can touch you whenever I want and there’s fuck all you can do about it’.

Once I told someone, if he touched me again, he’d get a broken finger.

He did it again.

So I broke his pinky finger.

For some reason this surprised him, but he didn’t ever do it again.

 

[fireproof78]

Choice.

Consequences.

Amazing how difficult a concept that is to grasp.