Starting the L Word (for the first time)

[Guy Gardener]

I'm watching the new Odd Mom Out where the wife and husband end a fight by over referencing Jennifer "Bette" Beal's character arc in Flash Dance...

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The Dinner where Moira couldn't pay?

No one bothered to tell Moira that Jenny and Shane are also poors who don't pay, who usually get to freeload, so she freaked out. It's horrifying when you're put in a situationship like that, it's like when you're four and in the deep end of the pool.

And then after all that BETTE RAN OUT OF MNONEY!!!

I love the humour.

Alan Cumming thinks that Moria is going to have a penis in a couple months, if he can talk the poor girl into reconstructive surgery? He's grooming her?

If Moiria really was qualified to work in IT, she could charge $60 to $300 an hour and she could laugh at these ####s. Even if she just worked from a free advert on Craig's List she could still draw down a couple thousand dollars a week reinstalling Windows XP for old people every time they get a virus from trying to down load reruns of leave it to beaver.

Unless she's lying about being an IT technician?

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In my heart I know that Dana De Laney is the most beautiful woman in the world, and that one day we are going to wind up together, which means that I have to destroy Bette for realz for even thinking about touching one of my girlfriends.

Nathan Fillion is going to get a slap for being her TV husband on Desperate House Wives too.

Alice's boss at the radio station. Oh my god that is hilarious.

"How big is George Bush's cock?"

Alice's life needs to be scripted.

One thing about Tina's lover.

His screen name is "Daddyof2"???

"Hi, I want you to think about my children a lot, while I'm describing where I want to put my huge w...."

Or is he bragging about his fertility, trying to draw in lesbians with really loud biological clocks?

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

I remember Moira's meal: fries and a salad. But the salad looked more like grass than lettuce.

Bette ran out of money for being "passionately unemployed."

Yep. That scene with Alice and her boss was

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[Guy Gardener]

The salad was a punishment trap.

"Don't you dare order the cheapest thing on the menu, you cheap fuck."

And really?

That place seemed like a salad should cost $50.

The writers must be old people who last ate out some place fancy in 1996.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

I think the restaurant was suppose to be trendy.

 

[Guy Gardener]

In LA, google is telling me that it's 30 dollars a pound for lobster, now, and 10 dollars per pound in 2010, which is still not 2006, or accounting for mark up. They could have justified doubling their prices because of their awesome table cloths.

The bias had to be pointed at with one side being more unreasonable than the other, or the story doesn't have teeth, but then it wouldn't have been a problem if Moira had just talked to Jenny at any point in the car ride to the restaurant.

"Can I pay for this with oral sex?" (Moira says to her girlfriend quietly.)

I saw Moira interview for an IT gig.

She should be able to sue that company into a hole in the ground for sexual discrimination and being a big fricking jerk.

Of course this is before cellphone could record all your conversations, so suing the company might be difficult, but getting that guy fired should be easy, with one conversation to his boss.

Do people really talk like that still in 2006?

I would have thought that that sort of casual hatespeak would have been weeded out of the larger offices in the 1990s.

The author was probably using anecdotes from earlier in history?

If the world becomes enlightened, and lesbians are no longer oppressed, then this series isn't really anything but a story about women who like to have sex with women.

Drama is about overcoming obstacles, and what's more obstaculous than a small minded bigot?

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

I think the reason for the bigotry during her interview was to further alienate her from her new life in Los Angeles.

 

[Guy Gardener]

The reason for the manipulative blunt bigotry is that this show is about an oppressed minority being oppressed, and while watching this oppression the audience/society becomes sympathetic, which is a normal tool for TV to use. They have to create Drama, for us to enjoy the Drama we see. Without Dram nothing happens, and a show where nothing happens is not worth watching.

Dana!

If the scenes were rearranged, it might look like Jenny's happy dance about her book deal, is this twit dancing on her friends grave... Dana's Dad is allowed to be an asshole, because in a year or two, someone is going to pluck one of his eyes out for being a dick, which draws parallels with Odin, Anthony Hopkins, who sacrificed one of his eyes in exchange for enlightenment. So, yeah, he's got his just deserts coming.

Bad Max.

Alan Cuming wrecked Max and Jenny for the thrill of felating a dildo stapled to Max's boxers... The orgasms from his brain must be much more powerful than the orgasm from his balls. Impotence would explain most of Alan's behaviour on that show.

"I pursued Kit relentlessly."

"Rules! No sex in front of the baby, and no sex in our bed!"

Oh, no.

Alice made a Voodoo doll.

Alice hadn't made that connection yet, but if she thinks that she has magic Vampire powers, dumb is not sexy, then throwing out that cardboard cut-out of Dana is what killed Dana and not the cancer.

IT'S MURDER!

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

You've watched a lot.

What episode are you up to?

 

[Guy Gardener]

Just finished S03e06.

I seem to be slowing down.

Is this the crippling infirmaty of seriously advanced age?

I should see a Doctor.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Uta was a pretty interesting character.

You just know that Kit and Angus probably did have sex in their bed.

His little performance (to Kit) at Bisexual Speed Dating night was sweet.

Alice: "I'm a little low on sperm tonight. Little low on sperm."

Slowing could mean you're not enjoying it?

 

[Guy Gardener]

If Joy can't get me to the other end of this shite, then Spite will.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Season 3 kind of sucks because it's depressing.

Season 4 is really good.

Season 5 is sooo good!

Season 6... Just focus on the now.

 

[Guy Gardener]

So Angus and Billy are both on The Good Wife. Angus once or twice a year as the gay #### up brother, huh? How is he both a #### up and a professor at a University? Never mind. I had to google to see if they ever dated, because proximity equals intimacy. Doesn't seem so?

How long till Dana dies, and gets replaced with someone interesting? The cardboard standup of Dana is having a more interesting story arc than Dana herself is. Tragedyporn can be done well, this just isn't it.

Tina finally makes a move on the penis she's curious about while her wife Bette is spoon feeding their child. Kinda skeevy and manipulative though saying "I still have an awful baby body" when she is clearly the most desirable woman in the cast.

Stupid Troy. "I knew you weren't a lesbian, you're too hot to be a lesbian." No one is that dumb? Although sleeping with your married, lesbian boss, who gave birth 3 months earlier, is not the decision made by a person who thinks things through.

Jenny is a victim.

Trying to get her book written uncompromisingly her way, makes the girl look like a dick, it's as if Jenny doesn't realize that returning her advance is a very likely likelihood... Jenny does not live in the real world.

In the last episode is Jenny struck dead by a meteor from space?

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Dana's death is actually really sad, because of how the group deals with it.

I felt so bad for poor sweet Lara. She doesn't deserve Dana's emotional venom.

Jenny lives in her own head.

That guy was an idiot. If you want to sleep with a beautiful woman, don't insult her.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Troy thought that he WAS giving her a compliment.

In olden times "real men" were told that lesbians are just women who can't find a man, or are too ugly to trick a man into a pregnancy.

Imagine a world where women believed that too.

Lara is lucky.

She gets to run off and find a new girlfriend who isn't a dummy or dead without feeling guilty about it. Dana's behaviour is actually what a smart person would do to give their lover permission to move on. Dana is not smart, she just accidentally did something smart because she is in an amazing world of physical pain and lashing out makes her feel a tiny bit better.

Oh!

Billy is what happens to a person, a 10 year plus long self destructive bender, after nursing their wife (I think he said the dead lover was a girl, even as he described the first days of AIDs culling the gay population?) for three years, vomiting out their internal organs one after the other.

Love hurts.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

I don't know why I remember this but that guy's name is Josh not Troy.

I'm pretty sure Billie's lover was a man.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Yes, it had to be a boy, but I couldn't be bothered rewinding to confirm how crazy what I heard was.

Although, sometimes it takes a while for people to come out or figure out that they need to come out, or the dead lover could have been transitioning like Max is.

Where did I get Troy from?

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Yeah. That scene was really weird, to watch and listen to the dialogue.

I have no idea where you got Troy from.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Helena thinks these people are her closest friends?

Idiot.

OMG!

The adoption hasn't happened yet????

Dodge the Bullet Tina!

10 days meditating?

You are the worst Bette.

Here's my real rage.

I'm assume the writers/producers surprised themselves with how quickly they wound up killing Dana that Lara had to leave for reasons other than Dana and Alice had to cheat on her? There had to be a purity to their hooking up, whereafter Dana had to be the widow, not Lara, because there was no time for redemption later on.

Cowards!

Fruit of the poisonous Tree and all.

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Well they do seem to be the only people who regularly hang out with her, especially Alice. Besides, 6 months passed between season 1 and 2. Giving plenty of time for Helena to become integrated into the group.

I think adoption is a lengthy process.

Who says they hook up? Or do you just think they will?