Star Trek: SCIS - fanfiction story idea and characters

[Sgt_G]

Good point about FarScape. But for me, at first, I was more interested in who the supposed Bad Guys (aka the Peacekeepers) were than I was about any of the characters on Moya. While the other characters did grow on me (especially Rygel), I just never got emotionally invested in John Crichton and my interest in the show started to wane by the end of the second season.

 

[Little_kingsfan]

Going back to my original idea posted in this forum, the SCIS, I wanted to run my first story plot – it's first episode, if you will – by you guys and see what you think.

When an enlisted crewman is found dead on the U.S.S. Enterprise-E, the SCIS Felony Investigation Unit, led by Supervisory Special Agent Xav jab Terev, is called in to investigate.​

Although I tend to follow Trek-lit canon, occasionally I like to detour in order to tell a more original story (or expand on something even Trek-lit doesn't cover). In this case, I have modified the crew of the Enterprise in the wake of Star Trek: Destiny and Typhon Pact slightly.

The first minor change I've made to the crew is the promotion of Beverly Crusher to the rank of Captain; she was promoted upon taking command of Starfleet Medical in 2379, and retained the rank when she returned to the Enterprise before Resistance – the only difference this makes is that she outranks Worf, who holds the rank of Commander; however, in his capacity as First Officer, he can still issue binding orders to the Chief Medical Officer.

The next change is a little bigger: in the aftermath of Destiny, Geordi was transferred to the U.S.S. Challenger under the command of Captain Montgomery Scott and would take over the ship after Scotty is forced by old age and injury to retire (in essence, Indistinguishable from Magic took place almost a full year earlier, in 2381-2382, rather than 2382-2383), leading to Lt. Cmdr. Taurik to take over as Chief Engineer of the Enterprise.

In 2382, after the secession of Andor from the Federation, Ensign Ereshtarri sh’Anbi (a major character in Paths of Disharmony) is promoted to Lieutenant, junior grade and assigned as Captain Picard's yeoman, and in 2383, Glinn Ravel Dygan joins the crew as Operations Manager, taking over from Ensign Jill Rosado, who had been acting Ops Officer since Commander Kadohata resigned in 2381. Lieutenants Dina Elfiki, T'Ryssa Chen, and Hegol Den all hold the same spots they hold in Trek-lit.

The next change/expansion I've made is regarding Captain Picard – in the aftermath of Destiny, President Bacco promoted him to the rank of Fleet Captain (the same rank held by Christopher Pike and Garth of Izar, which is considered largely honorary, but comes with a fifth pip and allows him to outrank other Captains) and named him and the Enterprise her personal troubleshooter throughout the cosmos.

At the same time, Starfleet Command assigned Picard a Senior Enlisted Advisor, Command Master Chief Omal Vegan. CMC Vegan, a 282-year-old Rhaandarite, enlisted in Starfleet in the 2260s following his adolescent education and has been assigned to different departments and divisions of Starfleet, and has served on a Starfleet vessel or base in every conflict the Federation has been involved in from the Federation-Klingon Cold War of the 23rd century to the Tzenkethi and Cardassian conflicts of the mid-24th century to Dominion War and finally the Borg Invasion of 2381. He has Bachelor of Science degrees in Chemistry and Biochemistry, is a certified Emergency Medical Technician, an expert marksman, and a black belt (or equivalent) in Earth karate, Vulcan Tal-Shaya, and Alpha Centauran anbo-jyutsu; since joining the Enterprise, CMC Vegan has taken lessons in Klingon mok’bara taught by Commander Worf. The Enterprise is his first tour of duty as a Command Master Chief; while he has some experience leading enlisted crewmembers, he has never before been so involved in the day-to-day operations of a starship, resulting in some growing pains as he struggled to assimilate to his new duties. However, he quickly became a model senior non-commissioned officer and valued member of the Enterprise crew.

Anyways, that's what I've got so far. Let me know what you think.

 

[STEPhon IT]

Hi, all,

I was hoping to get some feedback on a fanfiction story idea I've had popping around my head for the last couple of years. Combining the best of Star Trek with various law enforcement procedurals, it features my own personal team of SCIS agents and is set after the Star Trek: Typhon Pact novels (written before Star Trek: The Fall, I hope to incorporate those events into the story).

– – –​

These are the stories of the special agents of the Starfleet Criminal Investigative Service, which conducts criminal investigations involving the officers, enlisted personnel, and civilians of Starfleet.

I think the idea of them being part of Star Fleet gives the impression Starship Captains or CO's can't handle the investigations themselves, and kind of null their powers. It would probably be interesting if the organization/agency was run by UFP but outside of Star Fleet; so their badges would be the image of UFP.
Instead of calling them agents, how about operatives; it gives them more of a single entity unit. I'm guessing those investigators will be involved in cases all over the Quadrant, probably in enemy territory like the Romulan Star Empire, or regions of space where Ambassadors delegated where mysteries lie.

I think an appropriate name for this unit could be called "Quadrant Analytical Operations", this title doesn't give the impression you're simply monkeying off of NCIS.

 

[STEPhon IT]

Going back to my original idea posted in this forum, the SCIS, I wanted to run my first story plot – it's first episode, if you will – by you guys and see what you think.

When an enlisted crewman is found dead on the U.S.S. Enterprise-E, the SCIS Felony Investigation Unit, led by Supervisory Special Agent Xav jab Terev, is called in to investigate.​

So is this a potential novel you're writing? If so, you have more than enough material to write it. As for the teaser, I'm still a little confused at why is he on the case when the ship already has a Security team present? A starship is well equip to proceed on their own investigations. Normally the Captain, and XO would be spearheading the case.

 

[Little_kingsfan]

I think the idea of them being part of Star Fleet gives the impression Starship Captains or CO's can't handle the investigations themselves, and kind of null their powers. It would probably be interesting if the organization/agency was run by UFP but outside of Star Fleet; so their badges would be the image of UFP.
Instead of calling them agents, how about operatives; it gives them more of a single entity unit. I'm guessing those investigators will be involved in cases all over the Quadrant, probably in enemy territory like the Romulan Star Empire, or regions of space where Ambassadors delegated where mysteries lie.

I think an appropriate name for this unit could be called "Quadrant Analytical Operations", this title doesn't give the impression you're simply monkeying off of NCIS.

The Starfleet Criminal Investigative Service is a branch of Starfleet outside of the usual chain of command charged with investigating crimes within its organization, committed by or against Starfleet officers and enlisted crewmembers. SCIS personnel are all civilian employees who answer to a civilian director who answers to the civilian government, but they work in concert with Starfleet and are as vital to the service as the JAG Corps or the SCE. As far as monkeying off of NCIS, that's kind of exactly what I'm doing - writing a police procedural story/series based in the Star Trek universe. It's not that blatant of a rip-off, however, as none of my characters are exactly like the characters on NCIS - that's like saying that NCIS: Los Angeles is exactly like NCIS or that Deep Space Nine is exactly like The Next Generation.

Yes, SCIS does investigate crimes all over the Federation, but they can't go trapezing into enemy territory such as the Romulan Star Empire anymore than a modern-day federal agent could just go into Iran - it would require a lot of diplomatic effort, clearances, politics, and more...something my agents would have to navigate on occasion.

You also pointed out that on the show, Starfleet captains run their own murder investigations - but looking back, exactly how many murders did they investigate across the five series? Off the top of my head: "The Conscience of the King", "Wolf in the Fold", "Field of Fire", "Meld" - there may be some I'm forgetting, but that's four episodes that dealt primarily with homicides (two were The Original Series, one was DS9, and one was Voyager), out of 700+ aired. In my opinion, and for the purposes of my story, Starfleet has a branch dedicated specifically and exclusively to law enforcement. Having a starship's or starbase's security personnel, many of whom are not trained criminal investigators but either primarily soldiers, bodyguards, or both (depending on the story), strikes me as negligent. Would you want a crime committed against you or a loved one investigated by a trained police officer/detective/federal agent, or a mall security guard or a fighter pilot or a bodyguard?

 

[STEPhon IT]

It's your story, no matter how unlikely a Star ship Captain or a Star base CO would need a unit like this when there's security teams already qualified and equipped for crimes, you can neuter star ship and star base securities however you like in your own world. I don't consider Star ship security or Space Station security as mall security guards or bodyguards, I consider them as the police. Star fleet investigates, they're cops in space.

As for the NCIS referencing, if you read my post carefully, I was referring to the title and not the characters. The other title, as mentioned on my previous post, was just a suggestion to avoid it being just NCIS in Star Trek.

If these personnel are civilians, than how could they be part of a branch of Star Fleet outside of the chain of command? And the unit has Star fleet in the beginning of their names, but they're not Star fleet. If they're getting their orders from the civilian director, why are they not titled after the government which is the UFP?

 

[Sgt_G]

Let's see. First, I wouldn't say that Security are "cops in space". As portrayed on the show, they truly are little more than shopping mall rent-a-cops. In my mind, most of the Security section is made up of Boatswain's Mates and non-rated Crewmen, big burly guys who can stand guard and look scary. A small portion of the Security section would be Master-At-Arms (aka Military Police), some who would be higher ranks (PO1 / CPO) running the teams, and yes they could handle minor investigations. However, for major crimes (murder, etc.) or undercover work (drug rings, etc.) the SCIS would be called in, just as NCIS is called in in the modern Navy. This in no way undercuts the Captain's ability to run his own ship (he'll loudly disagree, of course). Would there be any SCIS agents on a starship? Perhaps, one such on a larger ship, but doubtful any on a smaller ship (Destroyer or Frigate). And definitely not a whole team of five-seven agent, not unless that was their main transport platform.

The modern day NCIS is a civilian organization under the Secretary on the Navy outside normal chain of command, and completely outside the military chain of command. I think what you want is more like the Air Force Office of Special Investigation (AFOSI or sometimes just OSI). Most if not all OSI agents are active-duty military on special duty assignment (usually for four years, but could be longer). They come from almost every career in the Air Force, each brining their own skills and talents to the table. They wear the same uniform I did, but they didn't wear rank insignia on the sleeve (unless undercover). If you were to be interviewed by an agent, you had no idea whether he was a Staff Sgt E-5, a Chief Master Sgt E-9, a Second Lieutenant O-1, or a full-bird Colonel O-6 ... "agent" is intimidating enough. The OSI's chain of command, like the USAF Area Defense Counsel (ADC), is outside the local host base, reporting to a central command directly under the Air Force Headquarters and the Chief of Staff. The AFOSI is a military organization, unlike NCIS, under a military chain of command. I think that's what you want your SCIS to be like.

As to the episodes you mentions, two were on Kirk's Enterprise, which was set in the earlier days of Star Fleet and thus the ship was far from any supporting Star Base. One of those cases, Kirk had a personal interest in, and the other was at a planet with its own (albeit limited) investigative body. Another episode was on Voyager, which for obvious reasons couldn't call in SCIS. They last one was on DS9, where Odo was the chief investigator. As the saying goes, you can't prove a negative, and these four examples to nothing to confirm the non-existence of an investigative agency such as SCIS.

 

[STEPhon IT]

No, I think of Star Fleet as cops in space because they're constantly involved in investigations. Solving mysteries.

 

[Sgt_G]

Ah, well, I'm heavily influenced by the Star Fleet Battles world, and over there the Federation Police is a separate entity from Star Fleet. They enforce space law and hunt pirates, sometimes with the aid of Star Fleet. But the Police don't investigate crimes internal to Star Fleet, except in rare and extreme cases.

Not saying your point of view is "wrong" as long as it's internally consistent with itself.

 

[STEPhon IT]

I think it's an idea which should be explored. It's just the idea of an independent police team, who are not Star Fleet but happened to share the name, coming aboard the Enterprise and starting this investigation seems odd to me. Especially when I think the ship has enough intelligent people on board who could figure and had figured out multiple bizarre mysteries, and crimes.
Maybe you should help with the story. I'm not sure if it's a screenplay/ teleplay or a novel?

 

[Sgt_G]

Well, I have my own stories to write. So many ideas -- so little time.

The first couple stories I tried to write, the big mistake I made was not first defining the ship's capabilities, which includes the size and skills of the crew, and also not defining the mission statement of what that ship & crew should and should not be doing. That's why I encourage new authors to stop and think about where they want their story to end up so that they can set up their world view before they paint themselves into a corner. Especially if they want to continue to write a whole series of stories in that universe.

Given that Little King wants his core cast to be this SCIS investigative team, he has to define how it fits in with the rest of Star Fleet and what its exact mission is (and what it is not). The two ideas that immediately come to my mind is to pattern them after the modern NCIS (civilian agency outside the military command) or the USAF OSI (a military unit inside the command structure).

=== "It's just the idea of an independent police team, who are not Star Fleet but happened to share the name, coming aboard the Enterprise and starting this investigation seems odd to me."

Well, that's what happens in today's world. And do remember that the "N" in NCIS stands for Navy, even though they are a civilian agency. Obviously, you may not need nor want a SCIS type of unit in your stories. Fine. Perfectly fine. But given that's what Little King wants to write about, he just needs to explain how it all works.

=== "Especially when I think the ship has enough intelligent people on board who could figure and had figured out multiple bizarre mysteries, and crimes. "

Figuring out bizarre mysteries of science and sorting out political / diplomatic problems, yes. But do remember that there are stringent legal and evidentiary rules that must be followed in criminal investigations. Should a starship have a few people trained to do that? Yes, of course. However, they probably wouldn't have the resources to deal with a major crime, nor in my opinion should the ship's Captain / command staff get directly involved in the investigation. Of course, Star Fleet is different from today's Navy in that starships work so far from any home port it may be impossible to get an SCIS teams to them. In many ways, Star Fleet in Kirk's era is more like the days of "Master & Commander" and "Horatio Hornblower" in that the captain is given full and total control of everything that happens on his ship. So, yeah, it could be argued that the SCIS would be ineffective and thus superfluous to Star Fleet as a whole.

 

[STEPhon IT]

Which is why I offered a scenario where the groups could work through an agreement with UFP and Alien alliances, in the case of special circumstances. So if a crime happened to a Federation citizen, including an officer, outside of their space; the team could be allowed to investigate based upon some written accord.

Star Trek is very much like Captain Aubrey and his Naval Command. Great books by the way, I highly recommend them, I'm positive Roddenberry advised his writers to read those books. It's very Star Trek like in adventure. A starship Captain has full authority which happens on his ship, but in Little King's tale, maybe there's a loop hole which undermines his/her control.

So yes, there needs to be some explanation at how this works, and setting up the world.
Also there are the characters' names I'm honestly having trouble with. But when he/she returns I'll discuss it.

Again, I love to help anyway I can.

 

[Little_kingsfan]

I think it's an idea which should be explored. It's just the idea of an independent police team, who are not Star Fleet but happened to share the name, coming aboard the Enterprise and starting this investigation seems odd to me. Especially when I think the ship has enough intelligent people on board who could figure and had figured out multiple bizarre mysteries, and crimes.
Maybe you should help with the story. I'm not sure if it's a screenplay/ teleplay or a novel?

The only reason my story starts on the Enterprise is for the same reason that Deep Space Nine, Starfleet Corps of Engineers, and I.K.S. Gorkon/Klingon Empire did - because it's the most recognizable ship in the series. In fact, like those other series, my story will very likely not interact with Captain Picard or the Enterprise again; there will still be references, or acknowledgment that they're out there, but I don't believe they'll meet again anytime soon. Besides, Picard runs the best ship with the best crew in Starfleet (allegedly, because all starship captains say they have the best ship and/or crew)...there shouldn't be any reason for there to be another major criminal investigation onboard for a good long while.

 

[STEPhon IT]

What other ideas were you contemplating, and will this be the lead character's first case as SCI agent or a typical case for the character?

 

[Little_kingsfan]

What other ideas were you contemplating, and will this be the lead character's first case as SCI agent or a typical case for the character?

As the Felony Investigation Unit, SSA Terev and his team investigate crimes, usually homicide/robbery/sexual assault, committed by or against Starfleet personnel. Other crimes investigated include theft or disappearance of Starfleet property (this team in particular concentrates more on theft of ordnance or intelligence than things like office supplies), and espionage, and members of the team occasionally will consult with other SCIS units and other Federation law enforcement agencies that deal with desertion, organized crime and narcotics, or intelligence/counterterrorism. SSA Terev's own training officer, Sp. Agt. Julie Palmer, heads SCIS's threat management unit, responsible for providing criminal and behavioral analysis and risk assessments for Starfleet and the Federation in an attempt to review, and ultimately mitigate, the potential for violence.

Other potential storylines, in no particular order, include investigating the theft of classified hardcopy reports from Memory Alpha (which would allow me to introduce Capt. Rose Jeffries and her crew), the rape of a Starfleet Academy cadet, whether a malfunction in a prototype starship was in fact sabotage, and a serial killer operating on a set of remote colonies. Basically, if you've seen a police procedural show in the last 25 years, expect me to try and find a way to put a Star Trek spin on it.

 

[Sgt_G]

LK: I would caution you to tread carefully with one of your plot ideas. This is a family-friendly forum with teen and pre-teen readers, and sexual assault is a delicate subject that even many adult readers may find distasteful. I personally know a few people who are highly sensitive to the subject and would probably react negatively towards such a story and you as an author.

 

[Little_kingsfan]

LK: I would caution you to tread carefully with one of your plot ideas. This is a family-friendly forum with teen and pre-teen readers, and sexual assault is a delicate subject that even many adult readers may find distasteful. I personally know a few people who are highly sensitive to the subject and would probably react negatively towards such a story and you as an author.

Sorry if I've offended anybody with my potential story; it's just I was asked what kind of cases my SCIS team would investigate and - unfortunately - that is one of those cases. I promise not to go into any more detail on this particular story on this forum.

 

[Sgt_G]

I'm not saying don't do the story, but rather be VERY tactful about how to go about it. You need to stay away from graphic imagery. Think more in lines of Blue Bloods or NCIS instead of CSI or Criminal Minds. Here's how I might write part of the story:

~~~~~~~~~~~~
The inspector was ushered into the office. He shook hands with the Academy's senior officer but waited until the Yeoman left before speaking. "I just spoke with the doctor. It's worse than we thought."

"How so?" asked the commandant, trying to keep his face neutral.

"She was assaulted."

"Well, yes, we knew that. Someone beat the Holy crud out of her. Wait. You don't mean ...." The inspector answered with a simple nod and a sad look in his eye. The commandant sat down in his chair. "Well. That changes everything."

"Yes. It does indeed."

"Nothing like this has happened on my watch. If memory serves, there hasn't been any such incident here in eight or ten years."

"Twelve," confirmed the inspector. "And once twenty-one years prior. One of my team has an idea of where to start looking for suspects."

"Why do I think I won't like it."

"Because you won't," he answer before launching into the theory of the crime.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so that was off the top of my head and not my best work. But as you can see, all the Bad Stuff happens "off camera" and keeps it reasonably clean. And even with just that little bit, you might get a clue as to how to narrow down the suspect pool.

 

[Little_kingsfan]

I'm not saying don't do the story, but rather be VERY tactful about how to go about it. You need to stay away from graphic imagery. Think more in lines of Blue Bloods or NCIS instead of CSI or Criminal Minds. Here's how I might write part of the story:

~~~~~~~~~~~~
The inspector was ushered into the office. He shook hands with the Academy's senior officer but waited until the Yeoman left before speaking. "I just spoke with the doctor. It's worse than we thought."

"How so?" asked the commandant, trying to keep his face neutral.

"She was assaulted."

"Well, yes, we knew that. Someone beat the Holy crud out of her. Wait. You don't mean ...." The inspector answered with a simple nod and a sad look in his eye. The commandant sat down in his chair. "Well. That changes everything."

"Yes. It does indeed."

"Nothing like this has happened on my watch. If memory serves, there hasn't been any such incident here in eight or ten years."

"Twelve," confirmed the inspector. "And once twenty-one years prior. One of my team has an idea of where to start looking for suspects."

"Why do I think I won't like it."

"Because you won't," he answer before launching into the theory of the crime.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so that was off the top of my head and not my best work. But as you can see, all the Bad Stuff happens "off camera" and keeps it reasonably clean. And even with just that little bit, you might get a clue as to how to narrow down the suspect pool.

Well, I'm just using this particular forum for spitballing ideas and finding out if people would respond to them. I haven't actually written anything real just yet, and if/when I do write it and post it online, it'll be on someplace like Fanfiction.net, not here.

 

[Little_kingsfan]

Hey, guys, here’s some more story ideas I’ve come up with and am hoping to get some feedback on:

A number of years after the events of Seeds of Dissent (from Star Trek: Myriad Universes), Princeps Senior Jean-Luc Picard and the E.F.S. Illustrious remains the crown jewel of the Khanate of Earth’s fleet. But when a freak accident in unknown space plunges the ship into another universe (my personal Star Trek universe based on the Trek-lit verse that all my other stories encompass), can Picard and his crew of augments return to their home...or will they decide that the un-augmented Federation is ripe for conquest?

This story has been floating around ever since I started playing with my Star Trek universe. Seeds of Dissent was one of my favorite Myriad Universes stories (second to A Gutted World), and I was always curious to see how Picard and his crew might fare in Khan’s world. Once I began worldbuilding, the ideas I had for the crew of the E.F.S. Illustrious seemed to write themselves - many of the characters share their regular universe’s strongest positive and negative strengths, while keeping the tone set by Seeds of Dissent.​

Callin’ Baton Rouge: These are the voyages of the U.S.S. Baton Rouge (NCC-75000), a Federation Cheyenne-class light cruiser attached to Starfleet’s 1st Fleet, which patrols the Federation’s core boundaries, charts various spatial anomalies, ferries ambassadors and dignitaries, and much more.

Another story in my post-Destiny Star Trek universe, I wanted to create a ship and crew that were primarily stationed within the Federation’s border. Now while ships like Enterprise and Voyager get to explore beyond Federation space, the Baton Rouge is more of a patrol vessel or escort that travels mostly between the core five worlds of the Federation. Due to its home port at Proxima Colony in the Alpha Centauri system, the Baton Rouge is a desired posting for Starfleet officers and crew with families who don’t want to be posted onboard the ship or risk being separated for months-long deployments. It is also where junior officers and enlisted personnel who weren’t necessarily at the top of their graduating class go for their first assignment (in fact, one of the JOs on the ship, Ensign Dan Newton, is described as graduating last in his class and now works as a floating junior officer assigned to every department on the ship).

The Baton Rouge is commanded by Betazoid Commander Gart Broox, and has a crew of 38 officers (not including the Captain) and 100 enlisted crewmen (including 12 Chief Petty Officers, 3 Senior Chief Petty Officers, and 2 Master Chief Petty Officers); a majority of the crew are either Human, Vulcan, Andorian, or Tellarite, while a number of other species are represented.

Also, I started this story the day after seeing the 2015 Garth Brooks concert that came to town, so there are some obvious references to both Brooks and his music in the initial plans (including the name of the Captain).​

More to come as I develop them.