Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
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Sub Rutherford
“I’m telling you, he’s hiding something,” Tendi stated.
“What are you taking about, T?” Mariner waved lounging on a chair in Repair Bay Five. “Rutherford doesn’t have a single sneaky synapse in his body. The guy can’t even hide a grin, much less a secret.”
“But he’s acting strange,” Tendi insisted.
“Rutherford’s always acting strange,” Mariner pointed out. “This is the same dude who makes asymmetric anodyne circuit diagrams out of his unwrapped burritos.”
“I mean even stranger than usual,” Tendi said. “Last week he cancelled our tri-monthly meet-up of listening to the latest bioneural analyses and the aftereffects nanocrystal articulators have on anomalous T-cells and nuclei.”
“Noooo, really?” Mariner drawled sarcastically. “Gee, what a shock.”
“And yesterday he even backed out of working on our model Cerritos together,” Tendi went on. “He’s never done that before.”
“Maybe Rutherford’s just been tired,” Boimler suggested working on a disassembled phaser next to Mariner. “Or he’s been installing new updates to his implant and didn’t want to act weird in front of you.”
“Well, maybe,” Tendi thought for a moment. “But if it was something benign like that, you’d think he’d at least tell me about it…”
“Hey guys!” Rutherford greeted entering the Repair Bay. “I’m all done with my shift. Hey, do we still have any old solenoid transtators lying around?”
“Over in the corner next to the buffer field generators and underneath the ODN relays,” Boimler indicated. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason,” Rutherford whistled moving to confirm the location of said components. “The thought just popped into my head earlier today. Like that old replicator program for jambalaya pizza.”
“Ah, okay,” Boimler nodded.
“Speaking of pop,” Tendi smiled. “We’ve been waiting for you to pop up so we can continue working on rebuilding the shuttlecraft.”
“Oh, yeah. About that,” Rutherford scratched his head. “Sorry guys, but I’m going to have to pass on this time.”
“What?” Mariner blinked sitting up in her chair. “What are you talking about, Ruthy? We’ve been looking forward to putting in some serious shuttle work for days. We’re gonna install a set of rebuilt, customized piloting chairs that actually recline!”
“I know, but I’d rather turn in early,” Rutherford said. “Things been pretty busy in Engineering lately.”
“Really?” Boimler looked at him in confusion. “I thought you were assigned to monitor the ship’s neutrino emissions.”
“I was,” Rutherford confirmed letting out a yawn. “And boy am I tired. Counting neutrinos all day. Man, talk about demanding duty.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Mariner quipped. “That job’s so boring one gets exhausted just trying to stay awake.”
“Exactly,” Rutherford nodded. “Anyway, I just stopped by to say ‘hi’ before grabbing a quick sonic shower and crawling into my bunk. See you guys later. Have fun reconfiguring the chairs’ inertial micro-dampers!”
“Okay. Bye,” Tendi waved as Rutherford exited the Repair Bay.
“Alright, that’s it. I’m convinced,” Mariner said getting to her feet. “Something is definitely off with Ruthy and it’s our job to find out what it is.”
“Really?” Tendi looked up at her with wide eyes. “Yay! I’m in!”
“Hold on! Wait just a minute!” Boimler interjected. “Let’s not jump to conclusions or start prying into Rutherford’s personal life like you did with me during the whole Barbara-parasite mess. You need to respect the guy’s privacy.” Boimler blinked for a moment and wistfully gazed off into space. “Barbara…Barbara…why…?”
“Don’t worry, Boims. I’m not gonna do anything real invasive or anything,” Mariner assured him. “Ruthy won’t notice a thing. Trust me, I know how to be discreet.”
“Since when?” Boimler asked quickly snapping out of his daze. “Ugh, never mind. Just leave Rutherford alone, okay? Whatever is going on with him, if anything is going on with him, is none of our business.”
“Of course it’s our business,” Mariner insisted. “Rutherford’s our fellow Starfleet officer, our crewmate, our friend! Him acting out of character could be a signal that something is terribly, terribly wrong.”
“Yeah,” Tendi agreed. “Rutherford could be suffering from multiple personality dissociation or an undetected alien possession or early onset Bendii syndrome!”
“Isn’t that a Vulcan disease?” Boimler glanced at her in confusion. “I know Rutherford has a Vulcan-made implant connected to his brain, but that doesn’t mean he’s vulnerable to Vulcan-related neurological illness…”
“We won’t know until we investigate for ourselves,” Mariner stated. “We got a real mystery on our hands here. Plus, we’re Starfleet. Exploring unknown phenomena and discovering the reasons behind strange behavioral patterns is our thing!”
“Well, technically yes,” Boimler admitted. “But still…”
“But nothing, Boims. There’s no time for your usual bureaucratic dilly-dallying now,” Mariner declared confidently. “We got a friend to watch and put under immediate around-the-chronometer surveillance!” She rubbed her hands together eagerly. “We’ll uncover the mystery behind Rutherford’s potentially-devious behavior. One way or another…”
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Later…
“See? I told you something was wrong,” Mariner hissed in affirmation.
“Okay, I admit Rutherford sneaking out from his bunk in the middle of the night is somewhat unusual,” Boimler softly whispered back. “And so is his stopping by the Repair Bay to pick up those old solenoid transtators he asked about earlier. But it still doesn’t indicate anything out of the ordinary. Rutherford could simply have had an urge to tinker with some private engineering project. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time.”
“But coming to a previously unknown area of the Cerritos certainly is unusual,” Tendi pointed out glancing around at the recognizably utilitarian yet unfamiliar bulkheads. “I’ve never been to this part of the ship before. Where are we?”
“Dunno, T,” Mariner shrugged as she, Boimler and Tendi carefully followed after Rutherford. “Probably some super sneaky hideaway where Ruthy keeps all his deep, dark secrets.”
“Oh come on. That’s ridiculous,” Boimler scoffed quietly. “Like Rutherford could ever be involved in hiding some kind of dark, horrible secret.”
“Oh yeah? Then what do you call that?” Mariner challenged as Rutherford paused before an unmarked set of doors. He surreptitiously punched in a keycode before entering the dark room beyond.
“Okay, that is a little suspicious,” Boimler admitted. “But it still doesn’t mean Rutherford’s hiding some kind of secret.”
“Only one way to find out,” Mariner said leading them to the door and attempted to gain access. “Aw man. Ruthy locked us out. We gotta find a way in. C’mon, we’ll find the nearest Jefferies tube and…”
“Wait. Let me take a look,” Tendi peered at the door panel for a moment before easily overriding the lock.
“Wow,” Boimler blinked in surprise. “Where did you learn how to do that?”
“Uh, gee. Must have picked it up somewhere,” Tendi laughed nervously. “Probably from working with Rutherford all the time. Guess I unconsciously learned how to think like he does.”
“Alright! Way to go, T,” Mariner praised before stealthy ducking into the room. “Now to find out what all Ruthy’s up to.”
“Not much from the look of it,” Boimler whispered as the three ensigns kept to the shadows. “He just standing in the middle of a dark empty storage room…”
“Hey, Rutherford,” Ensign Meredith greeted stepping into the light. “About time you got here.”
“Sorry,” Rutherford apologized holding up a small duffle bag. “Had to stop and pick up a few things.”
“Hmmm, interesting,” Mariner’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Ruthy has a co-conspirator.”
“Rutherford’s not a conspirator,” Boimler insisted. “He and Meredith are probably just working on some Engineering project or having a late-night date.”
“What?!” Tendi yelped quietly.
“Hi! Sorry I’m late,” Ensign Merp appeared carrying a small duffle bag as well. “Hope I didn’t keep you guys waiting.”
“Don’t worry. Everything is okey-dokey,” Rutherford smiled. “I just arrived here myself.”
“Huh, looks like Ruthy’s about to have a three-way,” Mariner commented. “Hmmm, that’s not a bad idea…”
“What?!” Tendi squeaked.
“Okay, everybody’s here,” Meredith said. “Let’s do this.”
“Yay!” Rutherford and Merp cheered.
“Alright. This is it,” Mariner whispered in anticipation. “Time to see just what Ruthy and his clandestine cohorts are up to…”
“Here we go, people!” A series of spotlights suddenly flared to life revealing Jet, Lieutenant Dahae, Ensign Vendome, Ergin and several other seated Engineering division onlookers. “We have three participants, three problems and only one chance to get them all right.”
“Yeah!” Rutherford and the other Engineering personnel cheered.
“Huh?” Boimler blinked, confused. “What the…?”
“And tonight’s problems are…” Jet announced as more lights came on highlighting various ship systems and components. “A broken atmosphere conditioning pump, an overloading phaser relay and a malfunctioning communication array.”
“Ah,” Rutherford and the other engineers glazed at them in thought.
“And the only resources you have at your disposal are…” Jet said emptying the contents of the collected duffle bags before sorting them into three identical piles of equipment. “One standard Engineering kit, one used duotronic probe, six meters of opti-cable, a pair of micro-resonators and a series of solenoid transtators.”
“Hmmm,” Rutherford and the others studied the problems carefully.
“You have sixty minutes to repair all three systems,” Jet stated setting a chronometer. “Time starts now!”
“All right! Let’s go! Yay!” Rutherford and the others quickly went to work.
“O-kay, would someone tell me what the heck’s going on here,” Mariner stared at the sight. “Is this a dream? Telepathic illusion? Some kind of food-based hallucination? I knew the Dopterian mushroom hoagies we had for dinner tasted kind of strange…”
“No, not this time,” Tendi whispered. “Rutherford seems to be partaking in kind of live engineering competition.”
“Obviously,” Boimler murmured before doing a double-take. “Wait a minute. What do you mean ‘this time’?”
“Ah, and it looks like Meredith is attempting to weld her atmosphere conditioning pump back into shape,” Jet narrated the scene. “While Merp is choosing to attempt modifying a micro-resonator into a new cyro compressor. Rutherford has successfully isolated the issue with the commutation array and is contemplating on how to proceed next. Oh, Merp is attempting to use a dualitic inverter to bleed off excess energy from the phaser relay. And Rutherford has stripped the casings off several magneton diodes and used some solenoid transtators to melt them along with a few damaged bypass circuits to create a series of crude copper-ytterbium composites which he is now using as set of makeshift plasma conductors.”
“Ooooooh!” Several onlookers marveled at Rutherford’s technique.
“Looks like Rutherford’s solution is going to work,” Dahae predicted.
“No way,” Vendome disagreed. “Meredith has this in the bag.”
“Forget it. Merp’s sure to come out ahead this time.” Ergin shouted. “Come on, Merp! You can do it!”
“I don’t believe this,” Boimler gaped at the unfolding spectacle in shock.
“Neither do I,” Mariner agreed. “A secret, underground betting scene is being held aboard the Cerritos and I’m not in on it.”
“Alright! Go Rutherford!” Tendi cheered raising a fist. “Wohoo!”
“Hey, look out!” Boimler yelped as Tendi accidentally knocked over a stack of sample modules.
“Huh?” Jet, Dahae and Vendome glanced over at the interruption. “What the?”
“Oops,” Ergin gulped. “Busted!”
“Tendi? Boimler? Mariner?” Rutherford blinked at his friends in surprise. “What are you guys doing here?”
“That’s just what we want to know, Ruthy,” Mariner said emerging from their no longer secret hiding place. “What the heck have you been tinkering with behind our backs?”
“And who have you been tinkering with?” Tendi pressed. “Out with it, mister!”
“Uh, nothing much,” Rutherford attempted to explain. “I’ve simply been engaging in a few unofficial ship’s systems’ repair and reconstruction sessions.”
“Really?” Tendi blinked. “Oooo, neat!”
“See? I told you it was some kind of Engineering project,” Boimler said.
“Gee, guess you were actually kinda-right for once. What are the odds?” Mariner quipped. “Still, I can’t believe you’d go and pull something like this, Ruthy. Sneaking around to compete in some secret underground Engineering contest. And what’s worse, you did all without including me!”
“Gee, I’m sorry guys,” Rutherford sheepishly rubbed his head. “I really wanted to tell you about this, but it’s kind of an engineers-only thing.”
“Really? Wow,” Tendi was stunned. “I never knew engineers could be so discriminatory.”
“No! No! It’s nothing like that!” Rutherford insisted quickly. “You see, these unofficial sessions are engineers-only in order to prevent them from being discovered by Captain Freeman.”
“Huh?” Boimler blinked in confusion. “Why?”
“Because Captain Freeman forbade the Engineering department from conducting any more of these sessions after what happened the last time,” Rutherford explained.
“Why? What happened last time?” Tendi asked curiously.
“Uh, well, we kinda ran out of broken ship systems and components to use for our repair sessions,” Rutherford coughed. “So we started intentionally breaking perfectly functional ship systems in order to provide ourselves with new challenges.”
“You what?!” Boimler yelped.
“We did try to repair and replace the related systems without compromising the ship’s safety and without anybody noticing,” Rutherford went on. “But unfortunately we didn’t completely repair the Cerritos’ ‘borrowed’ backup graviton stabilizer and Captain Freeman eventually found out about it when she ended up being pinned to the floor for half a day.”
“That explains the whole horchata incident in the Captain’s Ready Room last month,” Mariner nodded in realization. “And why Freeman tried going on an Elaysian diet for a while.”
“Captain Freeman also said that the Engineering department was focusing more on our unofficial repair sessions than on our actual duties,” Rutherford added. “Plus, she felt the sessions themselves were going a little overboard.”
“Like a form of holo-addiction?” Tendi asked. “Only instead of obsessing over a holodeck, one obsesses over problem-solving?”
“Sounds like typical Engineer behavior to me,” Mariner quipped. “No addiction necessary.”
“More or less,” Rutherford shrugged.
“Well, that does explain a lot,” Boimler considered things for a moment. “And why you didn’t tell us about any of this before.”
“Yeah, sorry for misunderstanding your motives and behavior, Rutherford,” Tendi apologized indicating the still ongoing Engineering session. “And for making you lose this round of your repair sessions.”
“Aw, don’t worry. Everything is perfectly okey-dokey,” Rutherford smiled cheerfully. “Tonight’s challenges are pretty tough. I wasn’t planning to succeed. In fact, most of these repair attempts usually end in failure.”
“Huh?” Boimler and Tendi blinked at him in shock.
“Really?” Mariner raised an eyebrow.
“Of course,” Rutherford confirmed. “While many Starfleet engineers have well-earned reputations as tech wizards and miracle workers, that doesn’t mean we don’t ever mess up. We get things wrong all the time!”
“Don’t remind us,” Mariner rolled her eyes.
“That’s one reason why we have unofficial repair sessions like these,” Rutherford went on. “To experiment and try unconventional ways to solve various problems using limited tools and resources. That way we can learn what doesn’t work and how to do better when having to solve real problems.”
“And so that you can look like engineering geniuses by solving impossible problems that you’ve secretly previously solved a dozen or so times before,” Mariner added.
“That too,” Rutherford nodded.
“So let me get this straight,” Boimler attempted to clarify. “You approach these problems expecting to mess up?”
“Sure,” Rutherford nodded. “What better way to learn than to fail constantly?”
“Huh, I never thought of it like that,” Tendi mused.
“Gee, in that case Boims here must be the smartest Starfleet officer alive,” Mariner quipped.
“Thank you,” Boimler beamed with pride. “Wait a second…hey!”
“Anyway, I’m really sorry for having to keep all this a secret,” Rutherford apologized again. “And for not spending more time with you guys. The latest repair challenges have just been so interesting…”
“It’s okay, Rutherford. We understand,” Tendi assured him. “And why you have to hide these repair competitions from Captain Freeman. She still gets upset whenever we try to hold more anti-grav lift races.”
“And with good reason,” Boimler moaned rubbing his behind. “My sacroiliac joints still feel like they’re out of whack.”
“Oh, we don’t actually compete against each other,” Rutherford explained. “The repair sessions are meant to be relaxing, no-pressure, friendly bits of fun. We initially try to solve all the problems on our own, then we collaborate and compare notes in order to learn from each other’s individual successes and failures.”
“That’s nice,” Mariner commented. “Working, learning and failing together. That’s what Starfleet is all about. But until then, how about we spice these sessions up a bit?” She grinned and turned to the crowd of seated personnel. “A bottle of Aldebaran whiskey says Meredith finishes with the best repairs!”
“Eh, I dunno,” Dahae and the other spectating engineers shrugged. “No thanks. Not my thing. I’m allergic to alcohol.”
“Fine,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “How ‘bout a set of genuine optolythic isolinear chips instead? With double for whoever finishes with the repairs first.”
“REALLY?!” Nearly everybody in the room yelled. “YOU’RE ON!”
“Yep. I figured that would do it,” Mariner smirked grabbing a spare laser welder and began carving a betting chart into one of the bulkheads. “Okay, I’m offering three-to-one odds on Meredith, four-to-one odds on Merp…”
“Hey, don’t forget me!” Rutherford shouted swiftly throwing himself back into his work. “I’m still technically in this round! I can fix it!”
“Me too!” Tendi yelled. “I want in on this!”
“Great, here goes yet another episodic escapade devoid of any sense of rationality and responsibility,” Boimler sighed as the betting and engineering action proceed to fly fast and furious. “If only there was a true miracle worker aboard the Cerritos capable of repairing insanity!”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
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Sub Rutherford
“I’m telling you, he’s hiding something,” Tendi stated.
“What are you taking about, T?” Mariner waved lounging on a chair in Repair Bay Five. “Rutherford doesn’t have a single sneaky synapse in his body. The guy can’t even hide a grin, much less a secret.”
“But he’s acting strange,” Tendi insisted.
“Rutherford’s always acting strange,” Mariner pointed out. “This is the same dude who makes asymmetric anodyne circuit diagrams out of his unwrapped burritos.”
“I mean even stranger than usual,” Tendi said. “Last week he cancelled our tri-monthly meet-up of listening to the latest bioneural analyses and the aftereffects nanocrystal articulators have on anomalous T-cells and nuclei.”
“Noooo, really?” Mariner drawled sarcastically. “Gee, what a shock.”
“And yesterday he even backed out of working on our model Cerritos together,” Tendi went on. “He’s never done that before.”
“Maybe Rutherford’s just been tired,” Boimler suggested working on a disassembled phaser next to Mariner. “Or he’s been installing new updates to his implant and didn’t want to act weird in front of you.”
“Well, maybe,” Tendi thought for a moment. “But if it was something benign like that, you’d think he’d at least tell me about it…”
“Hey guys!” Rutherford greeted entering the Repair Bay. “I’m all done with my shift. Hey, do we still have any old solenoid transtators lying around?”
“Over in the corner next to the buffer field generators and underneath the ODN relays,” Boimler indicated. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason,” Rutherford whistled moving to confirm the location of said components. “The thought just popped into my head earlier today. Like that old replicator program for jambalaya pizza.”
“Ah, okay,” Boimler nodded.
“Speaking of pop,” Tendi smiled. “We’ve been waiting for you to pop up so we can continue working on rebuilding the shuttlecraft.”
“Oh, yeah. About that,” Rutherford scratched his head. “Sorry guys, but I’m going to have to pass on this time.”
“What?” Mariner blinked sitting up in her chair. “What are you talking about, Ruthy? We’ve been looking forward to putting in some serious shuttle work for days. We’re gonna install a set of rebuilt, customized piloting chairs that actually recline!”
“I know, but I’d rather turn in early,” Rutherford said. “Things been pretty busy in Engineering lately.”
“Really?” Boimler looked at him in confusion. “I thought you were assigned to monitor the ship’s neutrino emissions.”
“I was,” Rutherford confirmed letting out a yawn. “And boy am I tired. Counting neutrinos all day. Man, talk about demanding duty.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Mariner quipped. “That job’s so boring one gets exhausted just trying to stay awake.”
“Exactly,” Rutherford nodded. “Anyway, I just stopped by to say ‘hi’ before grabbing a quick sonic shower and crawling into my bunk. See you guys later. Have fun reconfiguring the chairs’ inertial micro-dampers!”
“Okay. Bye,” Tendi waved as Rutherford exited the Repair Bay.
“Alright, that’s it. I’m convinced,” Mariner said getting to her feet. “Something is definitely off with Ruthy and it’s our job to find out what it is.”
“Really?” Tendi looked up at her with wide eyes. “Yay! I’m in!”
“Hold on! Wait just a minute!” Boimler interjected. “Let’s not jump to conclusions or start prying into Rutherford’s personal life like you did with me during the whole Barbara-parasite mess. You need to respect the guy’s privacy.” Boimler blinked for a moment and wistfully gazed off into space. “Barbara…Barbara…why…?”
“Don’t worry, Boims. I’m not gonna do anything real invasive or anything,” Mariner assured him. “Ruthy won’t notice a thing. Trust me, I know how to be discreet.”
“Since when?” Boimler asked quickly snapping out of his daze. “Ugh, never mind. Just leave Rutherford alone, okay? Whatever is going on with him, if anything is going on with him, is none of our business.”
“Of course it’s our business,” Mariner insisted. “Rutherford’s our fellow Starfleet officer, our crewmate, our friend! Him acting out of character could be a signal that something is terribly, terribly wrong.”
“Yeah,” Tendi agreed. “Rutherford could be suffering from multiple personality dissociation or an undetected alien possession or early onset Bendii syndrome!”
“Isn’t that a Vulcan disease?” Boimler glanced at her in confusion. “I know Rutherford has a Vulcan-made implant connected to his brain, but that doesn’t mean he’s vulnerable to Vulcan-related neurological illness…”
“We won’t know until we investigate for ourselves,” Mariner stated. “We got a real mystery on our hands here. Plus, we’re Starfleet. Exploring unknown phenomena and discovering the reasons behind strange behavioral patterns is our thing!”
“Well, technically yes,” Boimler admitted. “But still…”
“But nothing, Boims. There’s no time for your usual bureaucratic dilly-dallying now,” Mariner declared confidently. “We got a friend to watch and put under immediate around-the-chronometer surveillance!” She rubbed her hands together eagerly. “We’ll uncover the mystery behind Rutherford’s potentially-devious behavior. One way or another…”
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Later…
“See? I told you something was wrong,” Mariner hissed in affirmation.
“Okay, I admit Rutherford sneaking out from his bunk in the middle of the night is somewhat unusual,” Boimler softly whispered back. “And so is his stopping by the Repair Bay to pick up those old solenoid transtators he asked about earlier. But it still doesn’t indicate anything out of the ordinary. Rutherford could simply have had an urge to tinker with some private engineering project. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time.”
“But coming to a previously unknown area of the Cerritos certainly is unusual,” Tendi pointed out glancing around at the recognizably utilitarian yet unfamiliar bulkheads. “I’ve never been to this part of the ship before. Where are we?”
“Dunno, T,” Mariner shrugged as she, Boimler and Tendi carefully followed after Rutherford. “Probably some super sneaky hideaway where Ruthy keeps all his deep, dark secrets.”
“Oh come on. That’s ridiculous,” Boimler scoffed quietly. “Like Rutherford could ever be involved in hiding some kind of dark, horrible secret.”
“Oh yeah? Then what do you call that?” Mariner challenged as Rutherford paused before an unmarked set of doors. He surreptitiously punched in a keycode before entering the dark room beyond.
“Okay, that is a little suspicious,” Boimler admitted. “But it still doesn’t mean Rutherford’s hiding some kind of secret.”
“Only one way to find out,” Mariner said leading them to the door and attempted to gain access. “Aw man. Ruthy locked us out. We gotta find a way in. C’mon, we’ll find the nearest Jefferies tube and…”
“Wait. Let me take a look,” Tendi peered at the door panel for a moment before easily overriding the lock.
“Wow,” Boimler blinked in surprise. “Where did you learn how to do that?”
“Uh, gee. Must have picked it up somewhere,” Tendi laughed nervously. “Probably from working with Rutherford all the time. Guess I unconsciously learned how to think like he does.”
“Alright! Way to go, T,” Mariner praised before stealthy ducking into the room. “Now to find out what all Ruthy’s up to.”
“Not much from the look of it,” Boimler whispered as the three ensigns kept to the shadows. “He just standing in the middle of a dark empty storage room…”
“Hey, Rutherford,” Ensign Meredith greeted stepping into the light. “About time you got here.”
“Sorry,” Rutherford apologized holding up a small duffle bag. “Had to stop and pick up a few things.”
“Hmmm, interesting,” Mariner’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Ruthy has a co-conspirator.”
“Rutherford’s not a conspirator,” Boimler insisted. “He and Meredith are probably just working on some Engineering project or having a late-night date.”
“What?!” Tendi yelped quietly.
“Hi! Sorry I’m late,” Ensign Merp appeared carrying a small duffle bag as well. “Hope I didn’t keep you guys waiting.”
“Don’t worry. Everything is okey-dokey,” Rutherford smiled. “I just arrived here myself.”
“Huh, looks like Ruthy’s about to have a three-way,” Mariner commented. “Hmmm, that’s not a bad idea…”
“What?!” Tendi squeaked.
“Okay, everybody’s here,” Meredith said. “Let’s do this.”
“Yay!” Rutherford and Merp cheered.
“Alright. This is it,” Mariner whispered in anticipation. “Time to see just what Ruthy and his clandestine cohorts are up to…”
“Here we go, people!” A series of spotlights suddenly flared to life revealing Jet, Lieutenant Dahae, Ensign Vendome, Ergin and several other seated Engineering division onlookers. “We have three participants, three problems and only one chance to get them all right.”
“Yeah!” Rutherford and the other Engineering personnel cheered.
“Huh?” Boimler blinked, confused. “What the…?”
“And tonight’s problems are…” Jet announced as more lights came on highlighting various ship systems and components. “A broken atmosphere conditioning pump, an overloading phaser relay and a malfunctioning communication array.”
“Ah,” Rutherford and the other engineers glazed at them in thought.
“And the only resources you have at your disposal are…” Jet said emptying the contents of the collected duffle bags before sorting them into three identical piles of equipment. “One standard Engineering kit, one used duotronic probe, six meters of opti-cable, a pair of micro-resonators and a series of solenoid transtators.”
“Hmmm,” Rutherford and the others studied the problems carefully.
“You have sixty minutes to repair all three systems,” Jet stated setting a chronometer. “Time starts now!”
“All right! Let’s go! Yay!” Rutherford and the others quickly went to work.
“O-kay, would someone tell me what the heck’s going on here,” Mariner stared at the sight. “Is this a dream? Telepathic illusion? Some kind of food-based hallucination? I knew the Dopterian mushroom hoagies we had for dinner tasted kind of strange…”
“No, not this time,” Tendi whispered. “Rutherford seems to be partaking in kind of live engineering competition.”
“Obviously,” Boimler murmured before doing a double-take. “Wait a minute. What do you mean ‘this time’?”
“Ah, and it looks like Meredith is attempting to weld her atmosphere conditioning pump back into shape,” Jet narrated the scene. “While Merp is choosing to attempt modifying a micro-resonator into a new cyro compressor. Rutherford has successfully isolated the issue with the commutation array and is contemplating on how to proceed next. Oh, Merp is attempting to use a dualitic inverter to bleed off excess energy from the phaser relay. And Rutherford has stripped the casings off several magneton diodes and used some solenoid transtators to melt them along with a few damaged bypass circuits to create a series of crude copper-ytterbium composites which he is now using as set of makeshift plasma conductors.”
“Ooooooh!” Several onlookers marveled at Rutherford’s technique.
“Looks like Rutherford’s solution is going to work,” Dahae predicted.
“No way,” Vendome disagreed. “Meredith has this in the bag.”
“Forget it. Merp’s sure to come out ahead this time.” Ergin shouted. “Come on, Merp! You can do it!”
“I don’t believe this,” Boimler gaped at the unfolding spectacle in shock.
“Neither do I,” Mariner agreed. “A secret, underground betting scene is being held aboard the Cerritos and I’m not in on it.”
“Alright! Go Rutherford!” Tendi cheered raising a fist. “Wohoo!”
“Hey, look out!” Boimler yelped as Tendi accidentally knocked over a stack of sample modules.
“Huh?” Jet, Dahae and Vendome glanced over at the interruption. “What the?”
“Oops,” Ergin gulped. “Busted!”
“Tendi? Boimler? Mariner?” Rutherford blinked at his friends in surprise. “What are you guys doing here?”
“That’s just what we want to know, Ruthy,” Mariner said emerging from their no longer secret hiding place. “What the heck have you been tinkering with behind our backs?”
“And who have you been tinkering with?” Tendi pressed. “Out with it, mister!”
“Uh, nothing much,” Rutherford attempted to explain. “I’ve simply been engaging in a few unofficial ship’s systems’ repair and reconstruction sessions.”
“Really?” Tendi blinked. “Oooo, neat!”
“See? I told you it was some kind of Engineering project,” Boimler said.
“Gee, guess you were actually kinda-right for once. What are the odds?” Mariner quipped. “Still, I can’t believe you’d go and pull something like this, Ruthy. Sneaking around to compete in some secret underground Engineering contest. And what’s worse, you did all without including me!”
“Gee, I’m sorry guys,” Rutherford sheepishly rubbed his head. “I really wanted to tell you about this, but it’s kind of an engineers-only thing.”
“Really? Wow,” Tendi was stunned. “I never knew engineers could be so discriminatory.”
“No! No! It’s nothing like that!” Rutherford insisted quickly. “You see, these unofficial sessions are engineers-only in order to prevent them from being discovered by Captain Freeman.”
“Huh?” Boimler blinked in confusion. “Why?”
“Because Captain Freeman forbade the Engineering department from conducting any more of these sessions after what happened the last time,” Rutherford explained.
“Why? What happened last time?” Tendi asked curiously.
“Uh, well, we kinda ran out of broken ship systems and components to use for our repair sessions,” Rutherford coughed. “So we started intentionally breaking perfectly functional ship systems in order to provide ourselves with new challenges.”
“You what?!” Boimler yelped.
“We did try to repair and replace the related systems without compromising the ship’s safety and without anybody noticing,” Rutherford went on. “But unfortunately we didn’t completely repair the Cerritos’ ‘borrowed’ backup graviton stabilizer and Captain Freeman eventually found out about it when she ended up being pinned to the floor for half a day.”
“That explains the whole horchata incident in the Captain’s Ready Room last month,” Mariner nodded in realization. “And why Freeman tried going on an Elaysian diet for a while.”
“Captain Freeman also said that the Engineering department was focusing more on our unofficial repair sessions than on our actual duties,” Rutherford added. “Plus, she felt the sessions themselves were going a little overboard.”
“Like a form of holo-addiction?” Tendi asked. “Only instead of obsessing over a holodeck, one obsesses over problem-solving?”
“Sounds like typical Engineer behavior to me,” Mariner quipped. “No addiction necessary.”
“More or less,” Rutherford shrugged.
“Well, that does explain a lot,” Boimler considered things for a moment. “And why you didn’t tell us about any of this before.”
“Yeah, sorry for misunderstanding your motives and behavior, Rutherford,” Tendi apologized indicating the still ongoing Engineering session. “And for making you lose this round of your repair sessions.”
“Aw, don’t worry. Everything is perfectly okey-dokey,” Rutherford smiled cheerfully. “Tonight’s challenges are pretty tough. I wasn’t planning to succeed. In fact, most of these repair attempts usually end in failure.”
“Huh?” Boimler and Tendi blinked at him in shock.
“Really?” Mariner raised an eyebrow.
“Of course,” Rutherford confirmed. “While many Starfleet engineers have well-earned reputations as tech wizards and miracle workers, that doesn’t mean we don’t ever mess up. We get things wrong all the time!”
“Don’t remind us,” Mariner rolled her eyes.
“That’s one reason why we have unofficial repair sessions like these,” Rutherford went on. “To experiment and try unconventional ways to solve various problems using limited tools and resources. That way we can learn what doesn’t work and how to do better when having to solve real problems.”
“And so that you can look like engineering geniuses by solving impossible problems that you’ve secretly previously solved a dozen or so times before,” Mariner added.
“That too,” Rutherford nodded.
“So let me get this straight,” Boimler attempted to clarify. “You approach these problems expecting to mess up?”
“Sure,” Rutherford nodded. “What better way to learn than to fail constantly?”
“Huh, I never thought of it like that,” Tendi mused.
“Gee, in that case Boims here must be the smartest Starfleet officer alive,” Mariner quipped.
“Thank you,” Boimler beamed with pride. “Wait a second…hey!”
“Anyway, I’m really sorry for having to keep all this a secret,” Rutherford apologized again. “And for not spending more time with you guys. The latest repair challenges have just been so interesting…”
“It’s okay, Rutherford. We understand,” Tendi assured him. “And why you have to hide these repair competitions from Captain Freeman. She still gets upset whenever we try to hold more anti-grav lift races.”
“And with good reason,” Boimler moaned rubbing his behind. “My sacroiliac joints still feel like they’re out of whack.”
“Oh, we don’t actually compete against each other,” Rutherford explained. “The repair sessions are meant to be relaxing, no-pressure, friendly bits of fun. We initially try to solve all the problems on our own, then we collaborate and compare notes in order to learn from each other’s individual successes and failures.”
“That’s nice,” Mariner commented. “Working, learning and failing together. That’s what Starfleet is all about. But until then, how about we spice these sessions up a bit?” She grinned and turned to the crowd of seated personnel. “A bottle of Aldebaran whiskey says Meredith finishes with the best repairs!”
“Eh, I dunno,” Dahae and the other spectating engineers shrugged. “No thanks. Not my thing. I’m allergic to alcohol.”
“Fine,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “How ‘bout a set of genuine optolythic isolinear chips instead? With double for whoever finishes with the repairs first.”
“REALLY?!” Nearly everybody in the room yelled. “YOU’RE ON!”
“Yep. I figured that would do it,” Mariner smirked grabbing a spare laser welder and began carving a betting chart into one of the bulkheads. “Okay, I’m offering three-to-one odds on Meredith, four-to-one odds on Merp…”
“Hey, don’t forget me!” Rutherford shouted swiftly throwing himself back into his work. “I’m still technically in this round! I can fix it!”
“Me too!” Tendi yelled. “I want in on this!”
“Great, here goes yet another episodic escapade devoid of any sense of rationality and responsibility,” Boimler sighed as the betting and engineering action proceed to fly fast and furious. “If only there was a true miracle worker aboard the Cerritos capable of repairing insanity!”
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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek: Lower Decks.
