Originally posted on fanfiction.net - Link.
Note: This story takes place before my story "Those Left Behind".
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Of Critters and Chaos
“How are those EPS conduits looking?” Rutherford asked wielding a laser welder.
“Good. They’re all clean, aligned and online,” Tendi said peaking inside an open panel. “Ready to connect them to the starboard thrusters and secondary power couplings.
“Great!” Rutherford grinned checking his work. “Just give me a minute to finish installing the magnetic constrictors then we’ll tackle the fuel inlet servos together.”
“Hey, be careful with that stuff you two,” Mariner warned lounging nearby with a padd in one hand and a bottle of something green in the other. Tendi and Rutherford were seated at the main work table in the Repair Bay while laboring over a model version of the Cerritos. “The last thing we need is for your little toy to start zipping around shooting tractor beams and micro-micro-torpedoes at us.”
“Don’t worry, Mariner. We won’t let that happen again,” Rutherford assured her while adjusting the magnetic constrictors with a pair of tweezers. “Besides, we don’t plan on installing the tractor beam or any torpedoes until Tuesday.”
“Yeah, like that’s never been a problem,” Mariner quipped. “Still, it’s better than being suspended in midair by a mobile model tractor beam platform. Wesley Crusher, eat your heart out!”
“Hey guys,” Boimler greeted entering the Repair Bay. “Anyone up for running a new training simulation with me in the holodeck?”
“Another one?” Mariner gave him a look. “Man, don’t you ever take a break? What overdone Starfleet scenario are you working on this time? Piloting through an ion storm? Surviving a hostile First Contact?”
“Nope, How to Handle the Perils of Deadlines, Chaotic Filing and Unprofessional Recordkeeping,” Boimler smiled. “It promises to be a true multi-tasking and organizational challenge.”
“Gee, as exciting and stimulating as that training scenario sounds, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass,” Mariner drawled. “I got more important stuff to do.” She glanced at her padd. “Oooo, a new video of some vice admiral’s stuck-up attaché running into a malfunctioning set of starship doors! Ha, ha!”
“I should have known,” Boimler sighed in disappointment before turning to his remaining friends. “Tendi, Rutherford? Care to join me?”
“Sorry. We’ve already made plans,” Tendi declined politely. “But maybe we can join you some other time. Right now we’re working on a project of our own.”
“Aw, come on. Come train with me,” Boimler pleaded. “I traded Baumer three duty shifts just so I could reserve this much consecutive holodeck time. You two can play with your starship model another day.”
“Actually, we’re attempting to enhance the real Cerritos’ warp field by using inverted tetryons to improve the efficiency of the trionic initiators,” Rutherford explained. “We’re using our real-working model here as a testbed.”
“Really?” An intrigued Boimler studied the model more carefully. “Well, that’s one way to utilize existing resources and avoid tying up the ship’s warp core.” He peered inside the open Engineering section. “What are you using as a power source?”
“Matter, antimatter and nanofusion reactors,” Tendi chirped matter-of-factly. “Rutherford told you it’s a real-working model.”
“I see,” Boimler blinked carefully backing away. “In that case, maybe I would prefer to run the new training simulation solo. Just please be careful with your model and avoid causing a miniature warp core breach.”
“Don’t worry, man. I know what I’m doing,” Rutherford smiled.
“Really? That’ll be a first,” Mariner quipped under her breath.
“Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about,” Tendi reassured Boimler. “Rutherford’s reconfigured the trionic initiators so they won’t wind up casing any random warp bubbles or strange side effects…” She smiled and accidentally tapped some exposed power conduits with her activated sonic driver. “Oops!”
“Oops?” Rutherford blinked turning towards her. “What’s ‘oops’…aaahhhhhh!” He yelped as a thin beam suddenly shot out from the model’s deflector dish and created a small, blinding rift.
“Yikes!” Boimler yelped in surprise and fell back against Mariner
“Hey, watch it!” Mariner shouted as she lost her grip on her bottle causing it to spill its remaining contents all over the model’s interior workings.
“Uh oh,” Rutherford gulped as the model sparked and caused the fluctuating, pinhole-sized rift to abruptly stabilize and grow to the size of a commemorative dining plate. “That can’t be good.”
“Not necessarily…whoa!” Tendi gasped as plump, misshapen something suddenly emerged from the rift.
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” The vaguely aquatic-shaped creature squawked while flitting through the air. The organism was roughly the size of a plush targ with its physical appearance a bizarre cross between a spider plant, duonetic coupler and a decomposed blobfish.
“Huh?” Boimler gaped at the strange arrival in shock. “What the heck is that?!”
“Whatever it is, it’s got friends,” Mariner warned flinging herself to the floor. “Hit the deck!”
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” Several more similarly-shaped creatures emerged from the rift.
“Oh wow!” Tendi’s eyes went wide as she watched the flock of unknown creatures zip around the Repair Bay. “I’ve never seen anything like these things before! Neat!”
“Are you crazy?! What am I saying?” Boimler cried crouching and covering his head. “We need to close that rift! Somebody cut power to the model! Turn it off!”
“I can’t!” Rutherford shouted while ducking to avoid being hit by the creatures. “I haven’t finished locking down the magnetic constrictors!”
“You built the model without an off switch?!” Boimler yelled. “Are you insane…AAAGGGHHHHHH!” He shrieked as one of the strange creatures swooped down and smacked right into his chest. “YAAAHHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! HAAAUUUHHHHHH!”
“Stop thrashing! Stay still!” Tendi urged as she attempted to pry the creature off a frantic, panicking Boimler. “Ew, this thing is all slimy. Yuck!”
“Look out!” Rutherford cried shoving Tendi out of the way of another low-flying creature. “We need to shut off the model’s power sources before any more of those things appear.”
“Don’t worry, Ruthy! I got this!” Mariner said whipping out a phaser and aiming it at the model.
PHWZZZT!
BOOM!
“There!” Mariner grinned holstering her phaser as the bright, unexpected rift abruptly winked out of existence. “Whoever said violence never solves anything?”
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” The flock of unfamiliar creatures hooted and randomly scattered upon the explosion of the destroyed model.
“Wow!” Rutherford watched as the creatures simply passed through the Repair Bay’s bulkheads, ceiling and floor. “Lifeforms that can phase right through normal matter. That’s amazing!”
“Really?” Tendi blinked looking around. “Darn, I missed it! You’ll have to tell me all about it later.” She continued struggling to remove the creature still latched onto Boimler. “Hmmm, this thing really doesn’t want to let go.”
“Hey, congratulations, Boims,” Mariner quipped. “Guess you finally lucked out on getting a clingy date.”
“Mariner,” Boimler’s eyes twitched as he lay prone and frenetically pried at the unappealing creature stuck to his chest. “Did you just close the rift these things came out from by shooting the Cerritos model with a phaser?!”
“Yep, sure did,” Mariner smirked proudly. “C’mon, what did ya expect me to do? Try to communicate and bore the strange suckers away?”
“No,” Boimler hissed giving her a look. “But now how are we supposed to send this thing and the rest of its weird friends back to wherever they came from?”
“Uh,” Mariner blinked in stumped realization. “Oops?”
“Oh man, so much for our model,” Rutherford sighed. “Oh well. We can always start over and work on a new one.” He knelt down next to Tendi. “So, anyone have any idea what this thing is?”
“Nope. Not a clue,” Tendi said grabbing a spare tricorder off the work table and used it to scan the creature. “This, uh, ‘Zzyqxudl’ completely defies understanding. Its internal makeup seemingly violates all the Laws of Physics and Biology. It’s definitely life, just not as we know it.”
“Eh, figures,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “Must be some strange creature from a weird, unknown dimension. Um, it’s not hurting Boimler, is it?”
“I don’t think so,” Tendi ran the tricorder over Boimler. “It’s not doing him any physical harm. All of Boimler’s vital signs are stable. He’s just extremely agitated.”
“No, you think?!” Boimler cried frenetically pulling at the newly-named Zzyqxudl. “Somebody please get this slimy thing off me!”
“Don’t worry, Boims. We’ll take you to Sickbay. Just try to calm down,” Mariner said as she and Rutherford hoisted Boimler up between them. “Or I could always try phasering the bizarre little beastie off ya…”
“NO!” Boimler screamed.
“Then to Sickbay it is,” Mariner declared. “Let’s go!”
“But what happens when someone asks about the Zzyqxudl and where it came from?” Tendi asked accompanying her friends as they headed out of the room. “Especially Doctor T’Ana or one of the ship’s senior officers?”
“Eh, we’ll just look real surprised and act twice as shocked as anyone else,” Mariner shrugged. “After all, we don’t know exactly what these creatures are or what specific dimension they naturally exist in, right?”
“That’s true,” Rutherford admitted. “Technically…”
“See?” Mariner said exiting the Repair Bay. “Just stick to the story and everything will be okay.”
“YAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Lieutenant junior-grade Winger Bingston Jr. screamed running down the corridor with a pair of Zzyqxudls latched onto his body.
“Look out!” Ensign Vendome ran by with another Zzyqxudl seemingly chasing after him. “These crazy things are everywhere!”
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” More Zzyqxudls squawked flying through the ship’s many corridors and bulkheads while leaving streaks of slime behind.
“On second thought,” Mariner blinked at the scene.
“Oh man. What a mess,” Rutherford gulped as the four ensigns carefully made their way to Sickbay. “And I thought the aftermaths of the rage virus episode and terraforming fluid instance were bad!”
“Where did all of these additional Zzyqxudls come from?” Tendi asked as small schools of the creatures phased in and out among the various corridors. “Only ten or so emerged from the strange rift our Cerritos model created.”
“Help! Security!” Ensign Casey dashed by with a Zzyqxudl hot on his heels.
“Get down! Out of the way!” A security officer appeared around a corner with a unholstered phaser.
PHWZZZT!
“Zzyqxudl!” The Zzyqxudl screeched and appeared to glow with absorbed energy before creating a perfect copy of itself. “Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!”
“Well, that answers my question,” Tendi blinked at the sight. “Hmmm, should the plural form of Zzyqxudl be Zzyqxudles or Zzyqxudli?”
“Oh great. Self-duplicating lifeforms,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “Talk about a lame, overused gimmick that takes all the fun out of reproduction.”
“WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!” Lieutenant Levy staggered by buried underneath half a dozen Zzyqxudls. “SOMEBODY GET THESE DISGUSTING THINGS OFF ME! THEY GOT SLIME IN MY EARS! BLEAH! THESE THINGS MUST’VE ESCAPED FROM A SECRET STARFLEET RESEARCH LAB! THEY’RE PROBABLY MUTATED VARIANTS OF DENEVAN NEURAL PARASITES! IT’S A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU! WE’RE NOTHING BUT STARFLEET’S UNWILLING LAB RATS!”
“On the other hand, these things do have their comedic side,” Mariner smirked.
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” More Zzyqxudls phased through the ship’s bulkheads while a few clung onto display panels and exposed EPS conduits.
“Uh oh,” Rutherford gulped as the Cerritos’ interior lights began to dim and flicker erratically. “Looks like the Zzyqxudls are able to drain energy directly from the ship’s power distribution systems.”
“Let’s hope they don’t do the same to biological ones,” Tendi gulped.
“WHAT?!” Boimler yelped.
“Uh, not that there’s any evidence of that,” Tendi assured quickly scanning him again. “Physically, you’re fine. Really.”
“I don’t feel fine!” Boimler twitched while desperately trying not to look at the Zzyqxudl plastered to his body. “Ugh, I can’t breathe! I can’t feel my chest! I’m going into shock!”
“Eh, that’s just the fear and anxiety talking,” Mariner waved as they finally entered Sickbay. “Keep it together, Boims. If you can survive being suckled by a giant spider-cow for an hour, you can sure as heck survive this.”
Note: This story takes place before my story "Those Left Behind".
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Of Critters and Chaos
“How are those EPS conduits looking?” Rutherford asked wielding a laser welder.
“Good. They’re all clean, aligned and online,” Tendi said peaking inside an open panel. “Ready to connect them to the starboard thrusters and secondary power couplings.
“Great!” Rutherford grinned checking his work. “Just give me a minute to finish installing the magnetic constrictors then we’ll tackle the fuel inlet servos together.”
“Hey, be careful with that stuff you two,” Mariner warned lounging nearby with a padd in one hand and a bottle of something green in the other. Tendi and Rutherford were seated at the main work table in the Repair Bay while laboring over a model version of the Cerritos. “The last thing we need is for your little toy to start zipping around shooting tractor beams and micro-micro-torpedoes at us.”
“Don’t worry, Mariner. We won’t let that happen again,” Rutherford assured her while adjusting the magnetic constrictors with a pair of tweezers. “Besides, we don’t plan on installing the tractor beam or any torpedoes until Tuesday.”
“Yeah, like that’s never been a problem,” Mariner quipped. “Still, it’s better than being suspended in midair by a mobile model tractor beam platform. Wesley Crusher, eat your heart out!”
“Hey guys,” Boimler greeted entering the Repair Bay. “Anyone up for running a new training simulation with me in the holodeck?”
“Another one?” Mariner gave him a look. “Man, don’t you ever take a break? What overdone Starfleet scenario are you working on this time? Piloting through an ion storm? Surviving a hostile First Contact?”
“Nope, How to Handle the Perils of Deadlines, Chaotic Filing and Unprofessional Recordkeeping,” Boimler smiled. “It promises to be a true multi-tasking and organizational challenge.”
“Gee, as exciting and stimulating as that training scenario sounds, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass,” Mariner drawled. “I got more important stuff to do.” She glanced at her padd. “Oooo, a new video of some vice admiral’s stuck-up attaché running into a malfunctioning set of starship doors! Ha, ha!”
“I should have known,” Boimler sighed in disappointment before turning to his remaining friends. “Tendi, Rutherford? Care to join me?”
“Sorry. We’ve already made plans,” Tendi declined politely. “But maybe we can join you some other time. Right now we’re working on a project of our own.”
“Aw, come on. Come train with me,” Boimler pleaded. “I traded Baumer three duty shifts just so I could reserve this much consecutive holodeck time. You two can play with your starship model another day.”
“Actually, we’re attempting to enhance the real Cerritos’ warp field by using inverted tetryons to improve the efficiency of the trionic initiators,” Rutherford explained. “We’re using our real-working model here as a testbed.”
“Really?” An intrigued Boimler studied the model more carefully. “Well, that’s one way to utilize existing resources and avoid tying up the ship’s warp core.” He peered inside the open Engineering section. “What are you using as a power source?”
“Matter, antimatter and nanofusion reactors,” Tendi chirped matter-of-factly. “Rutherford told you it’s a real-working model.”
“I see,” Boimler blinked carefully backing away. “In that case, maybe I would prefer to run the new training simulation solo. Just please be careful with your model and avoid causing a miniature warp core breach.”
“Don’t worry, man. I know what I’m doing,” Rutherford smiled.
“Really? That’ll be a first,” Mariner quipped under her breath.
“Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about,” Tendi reassured Boimler. “Rutherford’s reconfigured the trionic initiators so they won’t wind up casing any random warp bubbles or strange side effects…” She smiled and accidentally tapped some exposed power conduits with her activated sonic driver. “Oops!”
“Oops?” Rutherford blinked turning towards her. “What’s ‘oops’…aaahhhhhh!” He yelped as a thin beam suddenly shot out from the model’s deflector dish and created a small, blinding rift.
“Yikes!” Boimler yelped in surprise and fell back against Mariner
“Hey, watch it!” Mariner shouted as she lost her grip on her bottle causing it to spill its remaining contents all over the model’s interior workings.
“Uh oh,” Rutherford gulped as the model sparked and caused the fluctuating, pinhole-sized rift to abruptly stabilize and grow to the size of a commemorative dining plate. “That can’t be good.”
“Not necessarily…whoa!” Tendi gasped as plump, misshapen something suddenly emerged from the rift.
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” The vaguely aquatic-shaped creature squawked while flitting through the air. The organism was roughly the size of a plush targ with its physical appearance a bizarre cross between a spider plant, duonetic coupler and a decomposed blobfish.
“Huh?” Boimler gaped at the strange arrival in shock. “What the heck is that?!”
“Whatever it is, it’s got friends,” Mariner warned flinging herself to the floor. “Hit the deck!”
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” Several more similarly-shaped creatures emerged from the rift.
“Oh wow!” Tendi’s eyes went wide as she watched the flock of unknown creatures zip around the Repair Bay. “I’ve never seen anything like these things before! Neat!”
“Are you crazy?! What am I saying?” Boimler cried crouching and covering his head. “We need to close that rift! Somebody cut power to the model! Turn it off!”
“I can’t!” Rutherford shouted while ducking to avoid being hit by the creatures. “I haven’t finished locking down the magnetic constrictors!”
“You built the model without an off switch?!” Boimler yelled. “Are you insane…AAAGGGHHHHHH!” He shrieked as one of the strange creatures swooped down and smacked right into his chest. “YAAAHHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! HAAAUUUHHHHHH!”
“Stop thrashing! Stay still!” Tendi urged as she attempted to pry the creature off a frantic, panicking Boimler. “Ew, this thing is all slimy. Yuck!”
“Look out!” Rutherford cried shoving Tendi out of the way of another low-flying creature. “We need to shut off the model’s power sources before any more of those things appear.”
“Don’t worry, Ruthy! I got this!” Mariner said whipping out a phaser and aiming it at the model.
PHWZZZT!
BOOM!
“There!” Mariner grinned holstering her phaser as the bright, unexpected rift abruptly winked out of existence. “Whoever said violence never solves anything?”
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” The flock of unfamiliar creatures hooted and randomly scattered upon the explosion of the destroyed model.
“Wow!” Rutherford watched as the creatures simply passed through the Repair Bay’s bulkheads, ceiling and floor. “Lifeforms that can phase right through normal matter. That’s amazing!”
“Really?” Tendi blinked looking around. “Darn, I missed it! You’ll have to tell me all about it later.” She continued struggling to remove the creature still latched onto Boimler. “Hmmm, this thing really doesn’t want to let go.”
“Hey, congratulations, Boims,” Mariner quipped. “Guess you finally lucked out on getting a clingy date.”
“Mariner,” Boimler’s eyes twitched as he lay prone and frenetically pried at the unappealing creature stuck to his chest. “Did you just close the rift these things came out from by shooting the Cerritos model with a phaser?!”
“Yep, sure did,” Mariner smirked proudly. “C’mon, what did ya expect me to do? Try to communicate and bore the strange suckers away?”
“No,” Boimler hissed giving her a look. “But now how are we supposed to send this thing and the rest of its weird friends back to wherever they came from?”
“Uh,” Mariner blinked in stumped realization. “Oops?”
“Oh man, so much for our model,” Rutherford sighed. “Oh well. We can always start over and work on a new one.” He knelt down next to Tendi. “So, anyone have any idea what this thing is?”
“Nope. Not a clue,” Tendi said grabbing a spare tricorder off the work table and used it to scan the creature. “This, uh, ‘Zzyqxudl’ completely defies understanding. Its internal makeup seemingly violates all the Laws of Physics and Biology. It’s definitely life, just not as we know it.”
“Eh, figures,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “Must be some strange creature from a weird, unknown dimension. Um, it’s not hurting Boimler, is it?”
“I don’t think so,” Tendi ran the tricorder over Boimler. “It’s not doing him any physical harm. All of Boimler’s vital signs are stable. He’s just extremely agitated.”
“No, you think?!” Boimler cried frenetically pulling at the newly-named Zzyqxudl. “Somebody please get this slimy thing off me!”
“Don’t worry, Boims. We’ll take you to Sickbay. Just try to calm down,” Mariner said as she and Rutherford hoisted Boimler up between them. “Or I could always try phasering the bizarre little beastie off ya…”
“NO!” Boimler screamed.
“Then to Sickbay it is,” Mariner declared. “Let’s go!”
“But what happens when someone asks about the Zzyqxudl and where it came from?” Tendi asked accompanying her friends as they headed out of the room. “Especially Doctor T’Ana or one of the ship’s senior officers?”
“Eh, we’ll just look real surprised and act twice as shocked as anyone else,” Mariner shrugged. “After all, we don’t know exactly what these creatures are or what specific dimension they naturally exist in, right?”
“That’s true,” Rutherford admitted. “Technically…”
“See?” Mariner said exiting the Repair Bay. “Just stick to the story and everything will be okay.”
“YAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Lieutenant junior-grade Winger Bingston Jr. screamed running down the corridor with a pair of Zzyqxudls latched onto his body.
“Look out!” Ensign Vendome ran by with another Zzyqxudl seemingly chasing after him. “These crazy things are everywhere!”
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” More Zzyqxudls squawked flying through the ship’s many corridors and bulkheads while leaving streaks of slime behind.
“On second thought,” Mariner blinked at the scene.
“Oh man. What a mess,” Rutherford gulped as the four ensigns carefully made their way to Sickbay. “And I thought the aftermaths of the rage virus episode and terraforming fluid instance were bad!”
“Where did all of these additional Zzyqxudls come from?” Tendi asked as small schools of the creatures phased in and out among the various corridors. “Only ten or so emerged from the strange rift our Cerritos model created.”
“Help! Security!” Ensign Casey dashed by with a Zzyqxudl hot on his heels.
“Get down! Out of the way!” A security officer appeared around a corner with a unholstered phaser.
PHWZZZT!
“Zzyqxudl!” The Zzyqxudl screeched and appeared to glow with absorbed energy before creating a perfect copy of itself. “Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!”
“Well, that answers my question,” Tendi blinked at the sight. “Hmmm, should the plural form of Zzyqxudl be Zzyqxudles or Zzyqxudli?”
“Oh great. Self-duplicating lifeforms,” Mariner rolled her eyes. “Talk about a lame, overused gimmick that takes all the fun out of reproduction.”
“WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!” Lieutenant Levy staggered by buried underneath half a dozen Zzyqxudls. “SOMEBODY GET THESE DISGUSTING THINGS OFF ME! THEY GOT SLIME IN MY EARS! BLEAH! THESE THINGS MUST’VE ESCAPED FROM A SECRET STARFLEET RESEARCH LAB! THEY’RE PROBABLY MUTATED VARIANTS OF DENEVAN NEURAL PARASITES! IT’S A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU! WE’RE NOTHING BUT STARFLEET’S UNWILLING LAB RATS!”
“On the other hand, these things do have their comedic side,” Mariner smirked.
“Zzyqxudl! Zzyqxudl!” More Zzyqxudls phased through the ship’s bulkheads while a few clung onto display panels and exposed EPS conduits.
“Uh oh,” Rutherford gulped as the Cerritos’ interior lights began to dim and flicker erratically. “Looks like the Zzyqxudls are able to drain energy directly from the ship’s power distribution systems.”
“Let’s hope they don’t do the same to biological ones,” Tendi gulped.
“WHAT?!” Boimler yelped.
“Uh, not that there’s any evidence of that,” Tendi assured quickly scanning him again. “Physically, you’re fine. Really.”
“I don’t feel fine!” Boimler twitched while desperately trying not to look at the Zzyqxudl plastered to his body. “Ugh, I can’t breathe! I can’t feel my chest! I’m going into shock!”
“Eh, that’s just the fear and anxiety talking,” Mariner waved as they finally entered Sickbay. “Keep it together, Boims. If you can survive being suckled by a giant spider-cow for an hour, you can sure as heck survive this.”
