Someone else's kid called me Daddy today

[Shatnertage]

I don't think I've started a Misc thread before, but I thought I'd share this random/droll/unusual experience.

Every morning I take my 2 y.o. to the park. We run around, say hi to all the people and their dogs, and just kind of hang out for a while. Pretty much everyone knows each other by this point. It's usually a high point of my day.

Today I put one of the regular kids (who's a little younger than mine) in one of the swings, since she really wanted to get in and her mom was pretty far away.

She said, "Thanks, Daddy."

I kind of played it off, thinking, nah, no way she really said that. But a little while later she called me "Daddy" again, this time while her mom was there.

I don't think she really knows what a Daddy is, since her mom used a sperm bank and doesn't seem to be attached. So since she hears my daughter calling me "Daddy," she thinks that's my name.

Funny, but kind of uncomfortable.

Anyone else think that's kind of an awkward situation?

 

[RoJoHen]

I babysat my friend's 5-year old once. His dad was a bit of a deadbeat and left before he was born, so he has never met his father. At the end of a very fun night of babysitting, he asked me if he could call me "Dad."

I responded with a blank stare.

 

[auntiehill]

^I think that's sweet. Any grown-up male parent to her is probably "Daddy" at her age.


Awkward is having my nephew tell me that his Mom never did drugs (when she spent a good 20-25 years stoned out her mind; the main reason why the boy's alcoholic, now drug-addicted biological father still has legal custody--because she abandoned him at age three for a crack house).

I have to just stand there and nod. You have no idea how much I want to tell this kid the WHOLE,ugly truth about my dumbass sister, but tearing down his mom is not going to help him right now. So I bite my tongue. A lot.

She told him she was an alcoholic; she never told him the whole truth. She's so busy making the father out to be the bad guy (and he is a first class DICK who doesn't even visit even though they live 3 blocks away) that she never told him the truth about why his first years were so very, very screwed up.

 

[Amaris]

Agreed with auntiehill, it's actually sweet. My cousin's children called me Uncle Johnny, even though I'm not their Uncle, but since my niece calls me Uncle Johnny then they feel they can to, and I'm fine with that. As long as it makes them comfortable, and that they see me as an authority figure they can approach if something is wrong.

 

[RoJoHen]

I think Uncle is slightly different than Daddy.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I always called my Dad's cousins (and their spouses) uncle or aunt. On my Mum's side I only called her siblings (and their spouses) uncle or aunt as my Mum didn't know any of her cousins.

The woman my son lives with calls me Mum (she isn't my son's partner). Her husband just calls me Lyn, as do her children.

 

[Amaris]

I think Uncle is slightly different than Daddy.

I agree there, I'm just saying it's not uncommon for little kids to transfer authority to someone they perceive as "safe".
Shoot, when I was in 2nd grade, I called my teacher "mommy". It only happened once, and she just laughed and said,
"No, honey, I'm not your mommy".

It is interesting how that happens, because I distinctly remember saying it and wondering why. I imagine it's an emotional
bonding thing.

 

[Shatnertage]

I'm just trying to process her absolute confusion at the moment when everyone says, "His name isn't Daddy," after she's heard my daughter call me Daddy for months, and listened to me call myself "Daddy."

(They say it's good to talk to infants about what you're doing so they feel a little more empowered, and to build their language skills, so I got into the habit of constantly doing a voice-over narration of what's going on..."Daddy's getting you some water"..."Daddy's working on an article"..."Daddy's chasing you around the slides!")

Must be a real mind-bender.

 

[Miss Chicken]

The little girl who used to live across the road got very little love or attention from her mother. Her mother wouldn't even go down at lunch time and walk her daughter home from kindergarten though she would go at 3pm and pick up her son (18 months older) because he was afraid to walk home alone. The little girl used to walk home alone, though most times she walked along side me and my son who was in the special kindergarten i.e not the same class as the girl. However she would run ahead of me as we reached her street because she was afraid of getting into trouble for talking to me.

About a year later I was on better terms with her mother (who had recently had a baby) and I used to walk both children home with her permission. Sometimes I would take her children to the park after school. One day I told the little girl I would buy her an icypole (popsicle) and then take her to the park. We were waiting for her brother and I heard her tell some girls that her "Mummy was going to buy her an icypole'. One the way to the shop I said "Rachel I am not your mother". She said "I know, but i can pretend you are". I later learnt that she had been passing me off as her mother for some time (both to children in her class and their parents). I was deeply touched but saddened as well.

 

[Amaris]

The little girl who used to live across the road got very little love or attention from her mother. Her mother wouldn't even go down at lunch time and walk her daughter home from kindergarten though she would go at 3pm and pick up her son (18 months older) because he was afraid to walk home alone. The little girl used to walk home alone, though most times she walked along side me and my son who was in the special kindergarten i.e not the same class as the girl. However she would run ahead of me as we reached her street because she was afraid. of getting into trouble for talking to me.

About a year later I was on better terms with her mother (who had recently had a baby) and I used to walk both children home with her permission. Sometimes I would take her children to the park after school. One day I told the little girl I would buy an icypole (popsicle) and then take her to the park. We were waiting for her brother and I heard her tell some girls that her "Mummy was going to buy her an icypole'. One the way to the shop I said "Rachel I am not your mother". She said "I know, nut i can pretend you are". I later learnt that she whad been passing me off as her mother for some time (both to children in her class and their parents). I was deeply touched but saddened as well.

Sweet mercy that's sad. Good on you, Miss Chicken, for taking her under, uh, your wing, as it were.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Sadly her family moved from Hobart a few months later. I used to worry about her until I learnt that one of her aunts had taken her. I later met the girl when she was 14 and she said she had no recollection of living in our street or of me. Possibly she blocked out much of what happened to her when she was with her mother.

Several neighbours, including myself, reported the mother to Child Services because of her mistreatment of the child. Unfortunately it was psychological abuse and that is hard to prove.

The little girl wasn't even allowed to eat at the table. The table was in the living room because of the small size of the kitchen. The little girl had to eat her meal sitting on the kitchen floor even in winter. Only the living room was heated.

The little girl wet her bed. Early one morning I went to pick them up to take them to school and found that the little girl was being made to wash her wet sheet by hand in cold water in the middle of winter.

 

[Shatnertage]

That's absolutely heart-breaking. It means a lot that you were able to be a positive voice in her life, even if only for a little while.

 

[Holdfast]

She said, "Thanks, Daddy."

Yeah sure, it feels weird now.

But just imagine how it will sound once she turns 18...

 

[Amaris]

Sadly her family moved from Hobart a few months later. I used to worry about her until I learnt that one of her aunts had taken her. I later met the girl when she was 14 and she said she had no recollection of living in our street or of me. Possibly she blocked out much of what happened to her when she was with her mother.

Several neighbours, including myself, reported the mother to Child Services because of her mistreatment of the child. Unfortunately it was psychological abuse and that is hard to prove.

The little girl wasn't even allowed to eat at the table. The table was in the living room because of the small size of the kitchen. The little girl had to eat her meal sitting on the kitchen floor even in winter. Only the living room was heated.

The little girl wet her bed. Early one morning I went to pick them up to take them to school and found that the little girl was being made to wash her wet sheet by hand in cold water in the middle of winter.

 

[David cgc]

She said, "Thanks, Daddy."

Yeah sure, it feels weird now.

But just imagine how it will sound once she turns 18...

My favorite take on this:

Dear Sexperts,

Why do so many men request to be called "daddy" during sex? I was under the impression that incest was socially unacceptable. I mean, my dad is hot and all, but that's just gross. Please don't get all Freudian on me.

Sincerely,
Devoted Daughter

Simply put, men who request to be called daddy often do so precisely because it's socially unacceptable. That's why, in the throes of passion, you've no doubt also had lovers demand that you speak out in favor of ageism in the workplace or put on a replica Mussolini fez—it's all about the inappropriateness. While the use of "daddy" in a sexual context tweaks the incest taboo, at least it has heat. It may fluster you to hear it, but what would you think of a partner who played it safe, who in the midst of a sweat-soaked missionary clench whispered in your ear, "I'm not your daddy. It's true that while all humans have a common ancestor who roamed the earth millions of years ago, our genetic overlap—and therefore, our relatedness—is so slight as to be nonexistent."

Bor-ing!

So, if your partner ever "requests"* that you call him "daddy," you have several options. One, you can indulge him in an occasional bout of unmentionable freakiness, provided the scenario does not extend beyond the bedroom (do not let him force piano lessons on you). Two, you can shut him down with a firm no and insist he forever store up his fantasies like dangerous radiation that would sterilize livestock for 500 miles if the slightest bit leaked out. Or, three, you can negotiate. Each year in the U.S., literally thousands of relationships are saved by a single word: granduncle.

*Probably not the right word for his tone of voice unless you could also imagine it being used to ask passengers to stay in their seats during a patch of turbulence.

Back to the topic, I seem to recall that a few years ago, a very small child called me "Daddy" in a chance encounter at a restaurant. The mother explained that the child's father was in the military overseas and had a beard like mine. I was embarrassed, but in that weird sort of modest way like when someone gives you unexpectedly strong praise apropos of nothing.

I have the oddest feeling that that's something I dreamed or read about, though, and never actually happened to me.

 

[wamdue]

could be worse there are two kids living across the road from me, the daughter is ok, but the son is pretty much scared of me, not sure what I did.

 

[An Officer]

I have been called mummy by mistake as a slip of the tongue, but never on purpose. My younger brother and sister do it all the time. It can be pretty confusing for others when they slip in public - the age-gap is such that I could be their mother quite easily. We might be in a shop for example, and the clerk might say something cute to the children with reference to their "mummy." I used to correct them rather than allow the misconception. At times however, I do think some thought I am a young single parent denying my own children, as there's such a strong resemblance between us, and I look far too old to be their sibling. Nowadays, I just let it pass. And the kids are used to it, too.

spookytage, that poor little girl! It's no fun being fatherless, I remember crying myself to sleep when I was about three over not having a father. I'd see all the neighbourhood kids with a nice big daddy to run to, and I guess it was more than my little mind could cope with. I do think adults handle these sort of situations very badly sometimes. You seem to have conducted yourself very admirably though.

 

[Niorah]

I was at a zoo just a few weeks ago, it was full of families since the day was gorgeous and it was still the summer holidays.

At some point, as I am staring at a family of monkeys through a big glass window, this little cute blond boy runs to me, opens his arms wide, hugs my legs and buries his face in my crotch yelling "Mummy! Mummy!".
Maybe he got scared by an animal, or he thought he was lost? Fact is, his mum is just a few steps away and looking embarassed as all hell because her kid hugged the wrong woman...
He raises his face to look at me and realises the mistake and runs away like lightning, to the right mum this time.
Fun times.

 

[Mr Light]

My nephews who are @10 and @7 have always accidently called me daddy and then correct themselves. I always thought it was funny 'cause its not like the dad isn't there or anything!

 

[scotpens]

Dear Sexperts,

Why do so many men request to be called “daddy” during sex? I was under the impression that incest was socially unacceptable. I mean, my dad is hot and all, but that's just gross. Please don't get all Freudian on me.

Also, a young woman's “daddy” isn’t necessarily her father! Some of you old codgers surely remember when “sugar daddy” was a common term.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNLu--cwL7c[/yt]

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOXIPfucRWc&feature=related[/yt]