question for guys: flirting vs just friendly talk

[melancholymecha]

when guys go up to women & start up a converation or small talk or whatever do they ever do it b/c they think "hey that girl looks like she might be a nice friend to hang out with" rather than "wow she's hot! I want to date her!"? In other words when a guy talks to a girl do they ever do it for platonic reasons rather than b/c they want to try to start a romantic relationship? also does attraction come into play with this? if they want to be friends with a girl but not date her or see her as a romantic partner is it b/c they dont find the girl attractive? or can they keep a platonic friendship with a girl who they find attractive?

 

[Holdfast]

I can think of no better way to put it...

Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
Monica: It's okay. I don't care. It's fine.
Ross & Chandler together: Really?!
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
Chandler starts to laugh, but then gets serious: So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time?
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Joey (walking past): True story!

Later...

Monica: Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Monica: Go on, teach me something about men and women.
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal". But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Monica: No way!
Chandler: It's true.
Monica: Well that's pathetic!
Chandler: Again, true.
Monica: And this goes for all guys?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

 

[Mr. B]

It sounds like your asking if a guy would ever start a conversation with a woman that isn't motivated by a desire for sex. The answer is yes.

 

[MetalPants]

when guys go up to women & start up a converation or small talk or whatever do they ever do it b/c they think "hey that girl looks like she might be a nice friend to hang out with" rather than "wow she's hot! I want to date her!"? In other words when a guy talks to a girl do they ever do it for platonic reasons rather than b/c they want to try to start a romantic relationship? also does attraction come into play with this? if they want to be friends with a girl but not date her or see her as a romantic partner is it b/c they dont find the girl attractive? or can they keep a platonic friendship with a girl who they find attractive?

Yes I start conversations with women that I have no desire of sleeping with. Yes I have Platonic relationships with cute women. I am more than just a penis and pair of testicles.

 

[RJDiogenes]

when guys go up to women & start up a converation or small talk or whatever do they ever do it b/c they think "hey that girl looks like she might be a nice friend to hang out with" rather than "wow she's hot! I want to date her!"? In other words when a guy talks to a girl do they ever do it for platonic reasons rather than b/c they want to try to start a romantic relationship? also does attraction come into play with this? if they want to be friends with a girl but not date her or see her as a romantic partner is it b/c they dont find the girl attractive? or can they keep a platonic friendship with a girl who they find attractive?

Of course men talk to women who they are not interested in romantically. I do it all the time. Otherwise I'd be ignoring 99% of the women on Earth.

The question now is whether this answer relieves or disappoints you.

I can think of no better way to put it...

Ross: Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
Monica: It's okay. I don't care. It's fine.
Ross & Chandler together: Really?!
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
Chandler starts to laugh, but then gets serious: So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time?
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Joey (walking past): True story!

Later...

Monica: Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Monica: Go on, teach me something about men and women.
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal". But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Monica: No way!
Chandler: It's true.
Monica: Well that's pathetic!
Chandler: Again, true.
Monica: And this goes for all guys?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

This is what TV teaches people: To be retarded adolescents.

 

[CorporalClegg]

I do it all the time.

I can be fun, charming, and cute (without flirting) with the women I have no intention of being with all the time.

It's the ones that I do that are the problem. Then I become a total dud.

Funny how that works...

 

[Saga]

my advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

 

[Goji]

Yeah, I talk to girls all the time, including close friends, who are plenty attractive. But I never flirt with anyone. I am probably an unusual case, however.

 

[Witterquick]

I actually talk more to girls I'm not attracted to but like as friends.

 

[Gaith]

when guys go up to women & start up a converation or small talk or whatever do they ever do it b/c they think "hey that girl looks like she might be a nice friend to hang out with" rather than "wow she's hot! I want to date her!"?

But I like to date nice-looking girls, so... how to answer your question?

 

[MetalPants]

To complicate matters I will flirt with my lady FRIENDS. It is quite the scene when I ask a seventy y/o married lady what she's doing later that night.

 

[Cheapjack]

I'm a bit like that guy in the film 'The Stud'.

I sometimes just ask them their names the morning after.



No, I love talking to people.

 

[Nardpuncher]

If she's a complete stranger I think many men would have to find that woman attractive in order to start some sort of random conversation.

If you think about it, most men would be careful not to start random conversations with any women because each time it could possibly be construed as flirting and they may not want to send that message to that particular woman.

So, OP, if you're asking what I think you're asking, then a guy who starts a random conversation with you is, in my opinion, interested in you to some degree.

 

[FPAlpha]

There are very few instances where a man approaches a woman and strikes up a conversation and doesn't have the faint hope it may lead up to something "interesting" (if the woman could be their grandmother for example or if they have such a close and stable relationship where he doesn't even entertain the thought of flirting or more).

Men are just wired that way and anyone who denies it is a flat out liar to me. When we look at a woman we notice breasts, shapely legs and nice faces before we have any thoughts about her personality etc.. it is the way it is.
No shame about it and certainly no harm if one isn't a jackass who only wants to fuck around and then drops the women when he's done.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Honestly, to me the lines between "flirting" and "friendly talk" is extremely fuzzy.

Where you draw the line? Is smiling flirting? No, obviously: that's just being nice. Is it asking for a phone number? No, obviously: that's definitively making a pass. So, anything in between could be classified as both "flirting" and "friendly talk", depending on a number of factors.

So, I'd just say: stop worrying about it, and enjoy your conversations. If those bushes are roses, they will bloom in spring.

 

[Kestra]

Where you draw the line? Is smiling flirting? No, obviously: that's just being nice.

Smiling can be flirting though!

 

[Franklin]

when guys go up to women & start up a converation or small talk or whatever do they ever do it b/c they think "hey that girl looks like she might be a nice friend to hang out with" rather than "wow she's hot! I want to date her!"? In other words when a guy talks to a girl do they ever do it for platonic reasons rather than b/c they want to try to start a romantic relationship? also does attraction come into play with this? if they want to be friends with a girl but not date her or see her as a romantic partner is it b/c they dont find the girl attractive? or can they keep a platonic friendship with a girl who they find attractive?

Pop culture and TV would actually tend to answer this question, "No." The temptation must always there. Sex is always in the background. How many popular shows on TV have shown major male and female characters in purely platonic friendships with no sexual overtones whatsover?
Not Seinfeld. Jerry and Elaine were lovers before becoming "just friends." Going back a few years, Hawkeye and Margaret finally gave in to their passions on M*A*S*H. As far as I can think at the moment, the closest a long-running TV show ever came to a purely platonic friendship between two major characters was Roz and Frasier. But even then, late in the series, they finally slept together once. Even on House, House and Cuddy finally made the beast with two backs.

So, according to TV, it can't be done.

 

[Pingfah]

I sometimes just ask them their names the morning after.

Well, that's just needy.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Where you draw the line? Is smiling flirting? No, obviously: that's just being nice.

Smiling can be flirting though!

Of course: as far as I'm included, breathing could be flirting.

But my point was: sometimes a smile is just a smile. Sometimes a smile is more than a smile. Bottom line: don't worry, just keep smiling! (especially if you have such a stunning, brilliant smile!)

(just to underscore my point: that was flirting. )

 

[Holdfast]

This is what TV teaches people: To be retarded adolescents.

I beg to differ!

FUNNY retarded adolescents.

I sometimes just ask them their names the morning after.

Well, that's just needy.