Let's talk Nursery Rhymes

[Miss Chicken]

anything you want to say about nursery rhymes at all

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

I know what she should have done. She should have become a poster child for the Quiverful Movement, then she would have ended up with her own reality TV show and a huge house to live in.

 

[Jadzia]

Betty Botter bought some butter, but she said the butter's bitter, and if she put it in her batter, that would make her batter bitter. So she bought a bit of better butter, that was better than her bitter butter, and she put it in her batter, and her batter was not bitter. So it was better, that Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

And what I learned from this as a child is that bitter butter tends to make a bitter batter.

Fascinating.

 

[Miss Chicken]

^^^

I have never heard pf that nursery rhyme before this thread.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Why did the horses even try? I know that if I had a fall off a wall I would prefer doctors, not equine, to treat me.

However if one accepts the theory that the orginal Humpty Dumpty was a cannon than the rhyme makes pefect sense.

 

[Trekker4747]

Rock-a-bye, baby
In the treetop
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

Clearly child endagerment and neglect.

 

[Miss Chicken]

^^^Child Services should get involved with that case, and also with the old woman living in the shoe (who whips her children).

 

[trampledamage]

^^

That one always confused me - you're meant to settle a child to sleep with those lyrics? I don't think so!

 

[Trippy]

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
There came a big spider,
He sat down beside her.
And frightened Miss Muffet away!

Yes folks, Spider is that scary!

 

[Trekker4747]

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her.
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her, very well.

Spousal abuse and confinement! Fun for kids!

 

[Trippy]

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down, and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

Then up Jack got and off did trot,
As fast as he could caper,
To old Dame Dob, who patched his nob
With vinegar and brown paper.

Dame Dob was a sadist!

 

[Trekker4747]

Or Jack had an HMO.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I want to know why the water was located up the hill, not the usual place for a well.

 

[Trekker4747]

Where is Thumbkin?
Where is Thumbkin?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Where is Pointer?
Where is Pointer?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Where is Ring Man?
Where is Ring Man?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Where is Small Man?
Where is Small Man?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Clearly a discriminating bitch when it comes to her sexual partners.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Where is Thumbkin?
Where is Thumbkin?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Where is Pointer?
Where is Pointer?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Where is Ring Man?
Where is Ring Man?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Where is Small Man?
Where is Small Man?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today?
Very well, thank you.
Go away, go away.

Cleary a discriminating bitch when it comes to her sexual partners.

[imagines what an orgy would look like...]

Shocking.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Well at least the Middle Man was left out.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

^ Always cutting out the middle man...

 

[Miss Chicken]

Here is the church
Here is the steeple
Open the door
And see all the people

All the people? When I do this with my hands I see a total congregation of six people - hardly a number to rave about.

 

[thestrangequark]

Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean.
So between the two of them they licked the platter clean.

My mother is one of the few confident snow drivers in the city of Seattle, but she cannot drive down town. My dad, hailing from New Orleans, is terrified of driving in the snow, but is fine driving down town. When I was visiting them in Seattle, They'd have to switch at the stoplights when we changed from down town, where the streets were shoveled and my dad could drive, to the highways and suburbs where the snow lay thick. I made the mistake of comparing them to Jack Sprat and his wife and had to assure my mom for ten minutes that it wasn't a jab at her weight, but at her driving skills, and how together she and my dad could get the job done.

 

[Trekker4747]

Here is the church
Here is the steeple
Open the door
And see all the people

All the people? When I do this with my hands I see a total congregation of six people - hardly a number to rave about.

I do it wrong and end up just seing my clasped hands.

 

[The Borg Queen]

It's raining, it's pouring
the old man is snoring
he went to bed
and bumped his head
and didn't get up
...ever again.

That's the version I'd teach to my kids.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Doctor Foster
Went to Gloucester
In a shower of rain.
He stepped in a puddle
Right up to his middle
And never went there again!

A nursery rhyme that was strangely prophetic about a year and a half ago...