Kirk's_Tights Reviews

[Kirk's_Tights]

Be advised that this is all based on personal opinion. You may enjoy the games more or less. This is just MY point of view to maybe give people an idea of what they are in for when thinking of what games to play so I don't want to hear any WAHHHH THAT GAME WAS AWESOME YOU STUPID BITCH or THAT GAME WAS GARBAGE YOU RETARD.

k, thanks.


First up:


MORTAL KOMBAT VS DC UNIVERSE

Released: 11/16/2008
Platforms: PS3, X-Box 360

Playable MK Characters

Raiden
Baraka
Kitana
Sub-Zero
Scorpion
Liu Kang
Kano
Sonya
Jax
Shang Tsung
Shao Kahn


Playable DC Characters

The Joker
Batman
Catwoman
Superman
The Flash
Green Lantern
Wonder Woman
Captain Marvel
Lex Luthor
Deathstroke
Darkseid


Now, you might be thinking HOLY SHIT, AWESOME, after reading that list of pretty amazing characters. Let me tell you that you will not be as excited when you play the game.

It's not the worst game ever made but it isn't a great game. The problem is, a lot of things aren't as impressive as they should be, given a game with two very well known and successful franchises with huge fanbases. That alone should have given them the means to create a game to go above and beyond impressing all the fans.

The graphics are pretty piss poor. It's not very detailed and the game looks like it's straight out of N64. Neither the PS3 nor the 360 should have N64 graphics, not even close.

Kitana is a great example of a character ruined. She looks like an 18 year old with a terrible ponytail that is way too long and floats in a really awkward way, as does the tie that is holding the ponytail up, and her outfit is so ugly, it's a sin. All the females have incredibly stupid looking breasts that are way too big for their bodies. There would be no possible way they would be able to fight in reality without them bouncing their faces to death.

The good guys don't do fatalities, they do 'heroic brutalities'. It's basically a pussy way to defeat the opponent without actually taking their life.

This video is all the fatalities and heroic brutalities:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9PZgc_wyZs

Feel free to observe the N64 graphics for yourself and the terrible fatalities and heroic brutalities. Now, some of the fatalities are actually pretty cool but most are pretty weak. It just seems that they have run out of good ideas for fatalities and resorted to the time when they thought Jax's boot stomp in MK2 was a good idea.

Batman could have easily done some pretty awesome fatalities but they apparenty didn't want any heroes to do fatalities because they wanted them to keep their 'hero image'. Just imagine the sick shit Batman could have done. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING. Same with the other heroes. So many options gone to waste just to keep a good image....IN A MORTAL KOMBAT RELATED GAME.

The music in this game is pure crap. You can put on the other MK games and recall the awesome music they had and you don't get bored of it. It's actually something to remember and is one of the best things about the game. This game has NOTHING music related to remember. The boring music goes with the boring levels. No levels stick out as awesome, no music sticks out as awesome. It's like watching paint dry.

The story modes are meh. You can do the DC storymode or the MK storymode. When you do the storymode, you can't choose what character to play as. You do chapters and each chapter is dedicated to a character and you have to fight a few rounds as that character until moving on to the next chapter and character. Still, you don't really get anything out of the storymode. It's actually pretty....cheesy.

The endings. LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SHIT ENDINGS. You fight your ass off against 10 characters to get a single picture with some guy reading off the text at the bottom of the screen. Are you serious? A fucking picture? That's what I did all this work for? Fail. Big fail, not to mention the ridiculous endings they made for some of them. Sonya gets the Green Lantern's ring? Piss off. It wont ever happen.


The trophies are another shitstorm. Most of the trophies are for completing each character's combo challenge. I guarantee you that you will quit and never try it again. The combos end up being almost impossible to pull off. You have to time things perfectly and one small miss and the entire combo is down the shitter. Some of the combos are ridiculously long and hard to remember and pull off. Nobody I know who has this game has completed any of the combo challenges. You just can't help but give up.

Overall, this game is so-so (if you overlook the shitty levels and music) and you can do some cool moves but it's really only worth it if you want to get the trophies. Besides the combo trophies, the rest of the trophies are fairly easy to get, they just take some time (like finishing the game with all DC characters/finishing the game with all MK characters) but it's the kind of game that is only so-so when you haven't played it for a long time. If you play it daily, this game blows, for the most part.


Not a great game, terrible graphics, horrible endings, garbage music and levels. Only big fans of MK and DC will even moderately like this game for the fact that the game has great characters who have some good moves. Otherwise, if you really want to play it, rent it. You don't want to waste your hard earned money on it.

 

[CorporalClegg]

Heh. That does look like it kinda sucks.

It appears to be more of the "Let's cash in on yet another abuse of a license!" variety.

The funny thing: Mortal Kombat stopped being relevant ten years ago.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

Once MK went 3D, I just stopped caring. 2D MK was awesome. It was such a different game when it first came out and it was mature. Since becoming 3D, it's become so childish, even with the fatalities.

I don't understand why they would fix something that wasn't broken in the first place.

It's sad because this game had so much potential and it exploded into one big pile of shit.

 

[CorporalClegg]

Yup. I agree. Fighters just don't work in three dimensions. Since what you're really doing is pseudo-combat, it just doesn't translate well.

That's why all the good ones who've managed to stick around remained 2D. Even SF4 isn't really 3D.

But if they had just kept the game play the same, they could have had something really special in online/network play using its signature "king of the hill" style tournaments.

 

[Mistral]

I've played this online-it completely bites. 99% of the players use SubZero because his easy moves seem to react a shade faster than any other characters. Some of the combos are so hard I've only pulled them off once, and then by luck more than anything else. The Joker is particularly frustrating-I can get a signature move one time and then do the same thing 5 more times with out it working, then it works again for a little while. The story is a joke and, as mentioned, there is no deviation allowed. Sad, 'cause it could have been great.

 

[Shazam!]

Be advised that this is all based on personal opinion.

As opposed to what?

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

Be advised that this is all based on personal opinion.

As opposed to what?

As opposed to being based on facts.


Next up:


Grand Theft Auto 4

Released: 04/29/08, 02/12/08 (PC version, 03/12/08 for Europe)
Platforms: PS3/X-Box 360/PC


Easily one the greatest games since Ocarina of Time.

Much like previous GTA games, you have a series of missions that involve assassinations, deliveries, beat downs, getting some action from the ladies, stealing cars, all the good stuff.

The graphics in this game are so damn pretty, it brings a tear to my eye. The characters, Liberty City itself, the cars, everything looks the way a game on these platforms is meant to look (take some notes next time, MK VS DC Universe morons).

You play the game as Niko Bellic, a Bosnian war vet immigrant who leaves Europe to see his cousin, Roman, who lives in Liberty City (a fictional American city) and insisted Niko come and pay him a visit. Unknown to Niko, Roman is hiding some secrets; he's in a lot of trouble with gangsters and is in a load of debt. Another reason Niko arrived in Liberty City is to track down Florian Cravic, who Niko believes betrayed his old army unit.

The good cousin that he is, Niko helps to get Roman out of his personal problems. You meet a lot of great characters along the way:

Mallorie, Roman's girlfriend, and later, wife.

Little Jacob, a Jamaican arms dealer who sells Niko weapons out of the trunk of his car.

Packie McReary, an Irish thug you befriend who helps you on some missions and who's older brother is the corrupt police commissioner.

Dwayne Forge, an ex-gangster and former mentor of Playboy X (you meet him during the storyline) who is trying to fix his past reputation and make a better life for himself.

Brucie Kibbutz (my personal favourite character), whom you steal cars for and who offers you races.


Plus an array of other characters you run into along the way.

You can go to bars, strip clubs, comedy clubs, restaurants, play bowling, play pool, play darts, race, the list goes on. All of these activities are best done with the friends listed above. If you get their friend percentages to a certain point, you get some awesome rewards from them.

You get a few girlfriends throughout the game and get some action with them and some lap dances at the strip club. Overall, the strip club dances are pointless but getting it on with your GF gets her friend percentage up.

The missions themselves can be similar, just like in any GTA game, but are still incredibly fun to play, regardless.

The story itself is great and keeps you interested in playing the game to see what happens next. There are a few surprises and the humour in the game doesn't fail.

The music gets a thumbs up. There are plenty of radio stations to listen to in the vehicles so you are bound to find a station with music that suits you (even has Pony by Ginuwine, lolololol)

Profanity, sex, drugs, weapons, carrying out hits, booze, food, clothes, cars, women, helicopters, internet, money, it's all in this game. YOU CAN DO NO WRONG.

The ending was a bit weak for me, especially since the game is fairly long, but still worth playing. The trophies aren't annoying to aquire. Some take work but most are fairly easy to obtain throughout the game.

If you liked the previous GTA games, you will LOVE this game and want to make GTA4 babies with it. There are some expansion packs you can get with it as well and the online multiplayer is FUN. You get to blow the shit out of strangers and get paid for it.

One of the greatest games of all time, you will not be disappointed by this game. Everything about it is appealing and there is so much to do in this game that you can't possibly be bored of it, unless you're a boring person in general.

 

[darthraidr]

i think the 2d MK games are way overrated... comparing SF2 and MK is the perfect example of eastern vs. western game design/production/art from the early 90's

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

i think the 2d MK games are way overrated... comparing SF2 and MK is the perfect example of eastern vs. western game design/production/art from the early 90's

I'd have to disagree. If you look at the games back then, it was a totally different game. It was detailed, it was gory, it was fairly realistic, for the most part.

A game where you get to rip out hearts and spines back in 1992 wasn't exactly something people saw much of before.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Okay how the hell do some of the heroic burtalities NOT kill people I mean come on Superman freezes a guy then smashes him on the group and then slams into the guy hard enough to make a cracked hole in stone/concrete. how the hell is that person suppost to STILL be alive?

 

[CorporalClegg]

Hafta agree with Kirk's Tights. Plus, it opened doors.

Would games like the afore mentioned GTA be accepted as they are had MK not pushed the envelope as it did?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I think people forget that a lot of the calls for video game regulation were specifically because of MK. That game proved you really could make money from super-violent, adult-targeted games.

 

[darthraidr]

?? there were plenty of over the top violent games before MK...

the over the top violence and "realistic" graphics are exactly what i am talking about with the perception of western design philosophy in the 90's... the mentality of "make it look good, make it bloody and everyone will ignore the core gameplay being extremely sluggish."

to be fair, there is still a strong western push for better graphics and other factors over tight controls and solid basic gameplay. but western devs are striking a much better balance (just compare God of War and Devil May Cry).

gameplay first. always. http://www.joystiq.com/photos/blizzard-tour/2111049/

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

Unless you are referring to friggin Mario Bros and the stomping of the goombas, there wasn't really any over the top violent games in North America. MK was one of the first.

I didn't find the game to be sluggish.

 

[CorporalClegg]

^
Hey. Some of those early hockey games had some pretty violent fighting.

I seem to remember getting a certain sense of euphoria from smashing Steve Yzerman's face in.

 

[Botany Bay]

One of the greatest games of all time, you will not be disappointed by this game. Everything about it is appealing and there is so much to do in this game that you can't possibly be bored of it, unless you're a boring person in general.

Ok, Tights, big positive review, so this will be the next game I buy.

I just finished my first PS3 game, Drake's Fortune, based on a review in this forum and I had a blast - I'm sorry I forget who recommended it, but, man it was great. Not too frustrating or hard - great for someone like me who hates those type of games where you can get stuck on one bit for hours - don't have time for that any more

 

[Turd Ferguson]

I, too, thought Mortal Kombat became irrelevant after Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance. Deception was okay, just for Puzzle Kombat and I HATED Armageddon because of the generic fatalities. Mortal Kombat II and 4 are the best, IMO.

I thought about picking up Mortal Kombat vs. DC just because of the ability to play as Superman, The Joker, Green Lantern, etc. but boy am I happy I didn't, as the fatalities are very tame and the game still heavily relies on combos and 3D fighting. I loved the first Joker fatality, though

 

[darthraidr]

ugh, i had a response, but lost it... long story short...

if you like MK fine. i dont.

Splatterhouse was a violent game. it didnt get the press that MK got, but that was one of the 2 MK gimmicks (the other being the digitized graphics).

i also had some comment about how all fights boiled down to a punch fest or a sweep fest. also the "animations" were really bad.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

ugh, i had a response, but lost it... long story short...

if you like MK fine. i dont.

Splatterhouse was a violent game. it didnt get the press that MK got, but that was one of the 2 MK gimmicks (the other being the digitized graphics).

i also had some comment about how all fights boiled down to a punch fest or a sweep fest. also the "animations" were really bad.

Not to sound rude, hun, but if you aren't going to comment on the reviews and just want to comment on how much you don't like MK, please stop posting. This isn't a thread to debate whether 2D MK was overrated or not. I enjoyed Splatterhouse. I enjoyed the old MK games.

I leave it at that. Thank you.

 

[darthraidr]

ugh, i had a response, but lost it... long story short...

if you like MK fine. i dont.

Splatterhouse was a violent game. it didnt get the press that MK got, but that was one of the 2 MK gimmicks (the other being the digitized graphics).

i also had some comment about how all fights boiled down to a punch fest or a sweep fest. also the "animations" were really bad.

Not to sound rude, hun, but if you aren't going to comment on the reviews and just want to comment on how much you don't like MK, please stop posting. This isn't a thread to debate whether 2D MK was overrated or not. I enjoyed Splatterhouse. I enjoyed the old MK games.

I leave it at that. Thank you.

i posted my counter opinion on MK. that is all. suddenly it became some debate about how MK was ground-breaking.

if you want comments about your reviews... they are about as good as any other review on gamefaqs...