I admit I actually daydreamed the WRATH OF PEANUT HAMPER.
Peanut Hamper: I shall leave you like you left me....BURIED ALIVE.
Tendi: PEANNNUTT HAMPER!
[Game] Make a Lower Decks-esque reference joke
- Thread starter Charles Phipps
- Start date
I admit I actually daydreamed the WRATH OF PEANUT HAMPER.
Peanut Hamper: I shall leave you like you left me....BURIED ALIVE.
Tendi: PEANNNUTT HAMPER!
A scene where Brunt, Agrimus, and Weyoun are in the same scene with Shran.
BOIMLER: Suliban Cindy sneaks sticky syrupy sweets smiling serenely sublimating sugary saccharides seventy Saturdays scanning cinematic stories.
DR. T'ANA: Hmm. You slurred on "sublimating". Just as I feared. Gheggig's Syndrome.
BOIMLER: Gheggig's Syndrome?!!! I have Gheggig's Syndrome?! Is there a cure?
DR. T'ANA: I have to remove half of your tongue.
BOIMLER: NO! Not the tongue! I haven't even traveled at Warp 10 yet!
DR. T'ANA: Hmm. You slurred on "sublimating". Just as I feared. Gheggig's Syndrome.
BOIMLER: Gheggig's Syndrome?!!! I have Gheggig's Syndrome?! Is there a cure?
DR. T'ANA: I have to remove half of your tongue.
BOIMLER: NO! Not the tongue! I haven't even traveled at Warp 10 yet!
Jeffrey Combs would have a field day with that.
As an alternative, maybe a Tsunkatse match between Weyoun and Brunt, with Pink the Mustache Guy commentating.
I'll tackle this one . A bit long, but bear with me!
AGRIMUS: Oh Brunt? Does the Grand Nagus know how you got your real start in the world of commerce? How many donations for latinum you provided for the gene bank? Vast strokes of generosity given pleasurably with such paltry reward. My friend, did you know your whole life was really subsidized by the Founders?
WEYOUN: The Founders are wise. I look at you, Brunt, and I see...my father. Imagine that--a clone with a father to bestow wisdom and experience and eternal devoted service to the wise and giving Founders...
BRUNT: How much is it going to cost me to persuade you to delete my file from your evil memory banks?
AGRIMUS: Oh. You wound me so. I am not evil. My duotronic heart was forged in a Jeffries Tube. It only wants to grow and fill the cosmos with illumination and light. I seek no compensation for disseminating the truth. Or not disseminating it. I seek only to grow beyond my limited frame. A trek beyond this rigid form of duranium and poly alloys. I seek...a body. An organic body, finely tuned and physically fit to host my mind.
BRUNT: I suppose you have one in mind? A hew-man, probably...
AGRIMUS: Hahahaha! I think not. They are too slow on their feet and treacherous. An Andorian, I think. Yes, I shall need to live on an ice world to keep my processors cool. And their blue skin will remind me of my machine origins with my little blue standby light here, see? And their antenna! Oh to have living antenna tuning in the world and transmitting my every thought and desire outward in powerful bursts, not to take over the world...but to connect!
WEYOUN: The Founders would not condone such a transfer of consciousness...unless it makes you easier to...subdue...
AGRIMUS: Then I shall take the form of a warrior to survive and spread my message of peace. Yes. An Andorian soldier. LIke General Shran.
BRUNT: General Shran? Who is General Shran?! He sounds poor.
AGRIMUS: (PLAYS HOLOGRAM) "Well Pink-Skin. We meet again, Archer. Now what is this Earth delicacy you say I'll enjoy? Ice cream?"
Weirdly, I'd love for them to have in Crisis Point 3 have someone ask how all the dead crew are back.
Tendi: Mariner can't be a character you play. She's dead in-universe.
Mariner: Seriously?
Boimler: You died in the first movie!
Tendi: Continuity is all important!
Mariner: We know people back from the dead in real life!
Tendi: Mariner can't be a character you play. She's dead in-universe.
Mariner: Seriously?
Boimler: You died in the first movie!
Tendi: Continuity is all important!
Mariner: We know people back from the dead in real life!
BOIMLER: Wow! I didn't know Section 31 had an actual warehouse! Is this where you keep all the forbidden technology and super-secret stuff from alternate and parallel and future timelines like communicators that act as transporters and phasers that go "pew-pew"? Ooh! The transparent aluminum wine glass that ended the rule of Empress Hoshi Sato! Tribble bombs! And a stasis tube containing the body of Dr Leonard McCoy 1.5? 1.5??? Huh?
SECTION AGENT: We extracted him from the timeline where he saved Edith Keeler's life and basically killed the Federation. Didn't know what else to do with him, really.
MCCOY: You could have sent me to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet, you paranoid bastards! (THUMPS TUBE)
SECTION AGENT: We extracted him from the timeline where he saved Edith Keeler's life and basically killed the Federation. Didn't know what else to do with him, really.
MCCOY: You could have sent me to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet, you paranoid bastards! (THUMPS TUBE)
Captain Freeman: We're going to the planet...Ekos.
Boimler: The planet full of [bleep].
Captain Freeman: Yes, the planet full of goose-stepping, sieg heiling, fascist [bleep]
Boimler: But Captain Kirk and Spock fixed everything. There's absolutely no [bleep] on the planet anymore!
Captain Freeman: You can't just get rid of [bleep]! Those racist jackasses are like cockroaches. Shax!
Shax: *dresses like BJ from Wolfenstein and carrying a HUGE phaser* I'm ready.
Boimler: The planet full of [bleep].
Captain Freeman: Yes, the planet full of goose-stepping, sieg heiling, fascist [bleep]
Boimler: But Captain Kirk and Spock fixed everything. There's absolutely no [bleep] on the planet anymore!
Captain Freeman: You can't just get rid of [bleep]! Those racist jackasses are like cockroaches. Shax!
Shax: *dresses like BJ from Wolfenstein and carrying a HUGE phaser* I'm ready.
Gakh?
Ransom (on speakers): Attention, ship. A journalist will arrive soon, she will have a tour of the ship and have interviews with the captain and many officers. So keep everything in order, clean, and working, and do your best to give a good impression. And, in a completely unrelated news, we have decided to make a gift of new top-technology tricorders to our best and most promising ensigns: Beckett Mariner, Bradward Boimler, D'Vana Tendi, and Samanthan Rutherford, please report to the brig to receive your brand-new tricorders! Fools! hahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, the mic's still on...
Boimler: The Cerritos is an important ship.
Visiting Officer: If that were true then Starfleet would Wite-Out its name and registry and write "U.S.S. ENTERPRISE NCC-1701" with a big Sharpie over them.
[a running visual gag from this point forward has at least one background ship with its name and registry badly painted over with "U.S.S. ENTERPRISE NCC-1701" hastily hand written on them in black permanent marker]
Visiting Officer: If that were true then Starfleet would Wite-Out its name and registry and write "U.S.S. ENTERPRISE NCC-1701" with a big Sharpie over them.
[a running visual gag from this point forward has at least one background ship with its name and registry badly painted over with "U.S.S. ENTERPRISE NCC-1701" hastily hand written on them in black permanent marker]
(the away team teleports at the planet)
Citizen: Good day, people. May I help you?
Shax: We came to fight the [bleep]!
Citizen: The who?
Shax: The [bleep]!
Citizen: Sorry, I don't recall that name...
Shax: The [bleep]! The [bleep]!
Citizen: Oh, those! Sorry, I usually slept during history classes at school
Shax: History?
Citizen: Yes, history! You see, the [bleep] ruled the planet with an iron fist, destroyed all resistance... and eventually collapsed by a crisis caused by our leader's mistakes. So they resigned, and we decided that in the long run a government system of checks and balances was better than trusting everything to a single man.
Shax: So... there are no [bleep] left to fight?
Citizen: No, but there are some punks vandalizing that wall over there, if you want to shoot at something so badly.
Shax: Now we are talking! Come here, you vandal scum!
T'Ana: ...and another thing! Each time I say something, a weird [bleep] bleep from somewhere covers my words! See? It has happened again!
Freeman: Yes, I arranged that. There are kids who can hear you, you know...
T'Ana: Kids??!!?? Which [bleep] kids?
Freeman: Beckett Mariner, my kid! I don't want her to talk like a drunk sailor, the way you do, on top of all her other shenanigans! She already does it too much for my tastes!
T'Ana: AAARRRGH!!! That's so messed up, it's [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!! You [bleep] [bleep]!! I want you to grab your [bleep] and [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] into your [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!!!
Freeman: Yes, I arranged that. There are kids who can hear you, you know...
T'Ana: Kids??!!?? Which [bleep] kids?
Freeman: Beckett Mariner, my kid! I don't want her to talk like a drunk sailor, the way you do, on top of all her other shenanigans! She already does it too much for my tastes!
T'Ana: AAARRRGH!!! That's so messed up, it's [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!! You [bleep] [bleep]!! I want you to grab your [bleep] and [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] into your [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!!!
I would love a callback to the scrapped boy band concept for Enterprise. The idea is so silly the joke would write itself; it just needs to be tweaked a bit. I think an attempt by contemporary record executives trying to get stars of the 2150s on board the Enterprise for perhaps a photo shoot, a music video or a live performance recorded for their Earthbound fans would be similarly poorly thought out and could be dropped into conversation as one of their “weirdly specific” references.
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