Favourite Leslie Nielson quotes?

[Candlelight]

In honour of the death of Leslie Nielson, I ask you to recite your favourite or most memorable lines of dialogue spoken by any of his characters.

"Is this some kind of bust?"
"Yes, they're very impressive"

 

[MANT!]

"Morbeus, that thing out there, it's YOU!!"

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

"I am serious ... And don't call me Shirley."

 

[Kira's Mom]

Not really a quote, but a funny scene from Naked Gun:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGx5JUp_i-A

 

[RedShirt]

"Nice beaver!"

 

[Satyrquaze]

Oh, and one more thing... I faked every orgasm!

 

[Canadave]

"Who are you?! And how did you get in here?!"

"I'm the locksmith. And... I'm the locksmith."

 

[B.J.]

"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."

 

[TheGodBen]

Raquel Welch: And the winner is...
Frank Drebin: Uh Raquel, so many go to bed hungry in this nation, yet cat food is full of tuna! I can't help but think each time I go to the zoo and see those porpoises, crammed into those tiny tanks, what a waste that is. Butcher half of them now! That's hundreds of pounds of dolphin meat that can be fed to our cats, freeing up that tuna for our nation's hungry.
Raquel Welch: And the winner is...
Frank Drebin: Uh, so many are cold, shivering in the night, so I say, butcher those cats, skin them! Use their fur to keep hundreds warm!

 

[barnaclelapse]

I'm gonna cheat and say anything with him and Robert Goulet.

 

[Mike Farley]

"lt's the same old story. Boy finds girl. Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. Girl dies in a blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day."

"Goodyear?"

"No, the worst."

 

[RedShirt]

"All right, I'm going to level with you all. But what's most important now is that you remain calm. There is no reason to panic.
Now, it is true that one of the crew members is ill... slightly ill. But the other two pilots... they're just fine. They're at the controls flying the plane... free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment."

 

[marillion]

"Who are you?! And how did you get in here?!"

"I'm the locksmith. And... I'm the locksmith."

Dammit! Beat me too it.. I love this one!

 

[ManOnTheWave]

"It was a boy's name first."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Our next stop was a neighborhood known as Little Italy..."

"We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then."

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo[/yt]

 

[sidious618]

"Would you like to come up for a nightcap?"
"No, I don't wear one."

 

[Mary Ann]

"We need to get these people to a hospital as soon as possible."
"A hospital! What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients. But that's not important right now."

 

[od0_ital]

"Nice beaver!"

Yep.

 

[Captain Ice]

Mayor: Oh, Drebin. I don't want any trouble like you had last year on the south side. Understand? That's my policy.

Frank: Yes, well when I see five weirdo's dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakespeare in the park production of "Julius Caesar" you moron! You killed five actors, good ones!


Another fav from The Naked Gun (though not a Leslie Nielsen quote):

Truck Driver: [shouts] Ya dumb broad!
Driving Instructor: All right, Stephanie, gently extend your arm. Extend your middle finger. Very good. Well done.

 

[SmoothieX]

[an epidemic of food poisoning is sweeping the plane]
Captain Oveur: What is it, Doctor? What's going on?
Rumack: I'm not sure. I haven't seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert.