I've been debating posting this as I don't want to derail the conversation, but this is pretty much the same thing I've been through a few times, albeit with disability.
I'm visually impaired and tend to find my own way around life - I use my phone camera to zoom in on rail announcement boards, I use a slightly slower route to work so I don't have to cross a busy road with no lights, for example.
So quite often, when someone calls out a disabled access issue I find myself thinking "But there's a workaround." I have to stop myself and remind myself that there should be no need for the workaround, if society was truly egalitarian.
It's not a comfortable realisation, and it's very hard to pull off something so nuanced without a big honking grey area (you don't know how much of "I can't due to disability" is truly that, and how much is other things). If you're thinking about whether you've been affected by societal bias in that way, then I wonder if that's what the creators were going for? Something so subtle even those normally painfully aware of it have to check themselves and think?
See, Doctor Who is a safe space. You didn't expect racism unless it was overt and called out. When it happens, you rationalise, like I rationalised so much at the start of lockdown when nobody made zoom meetings accessible at work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for this post.