I just got back from this and it was
awful. Granted, I was sitting a bit off-center and the speakers were cranked
way too loud to the point where I had to cover my ears during the action sequences, but it still sucked balls. And here's the thing: I loved
Battle: LA, and they're pretty much the same movie. So why does one suck and the other rule?
- Characters:
Battle has upstanding Marines who are terrified of the aliens, but fight back with boundless courage.
C&A has two mains that are loathsome, cruel and humorless. And no one is anywhere near as afraid as the aliens as they should be.
- Story:
Battle starts as a rescue story, moves into survival, then ends in attack.
C&A is one big hunt movie. Incidents happen, but nothing much changes.
- Kids:
Battle has some kids that must be protected and comforted, and are credibly useless.
C&A has a precocious youngun, who, trusty dog by his side, kills him a full-grown alien. Puke.
- Women:
Battle has two tough women.
C&A has a dead flashback chick and a humorless, character-free broad.
- The ending:
Battle finishes on a tough but hopeful note.
C&A ends with everyone joyfully celebrating a mere day or so after incredibly traumatic events, complete with gratuitous American flags everywhere. Yuck.
- The matchup: I never believed the cowboys and their dinky little pistols could actually down those aliens. Though the Marines were badly outmatched, with their modern weaponry, they at least had a fighting chance.
This one's a real stinker; I haven't disliked a movie this much since
(Pretentious) Days of Summer.
D.
Screw the critics. Go see it and use your own brain to decide if you like it or not.
See, some would say that the critics are there to
help you decide whether or not to see it.
Hi guys, just a quick question: can we take a 10-year old to see this movie?
No, no no. The second half is nonstop violence. I'd slap this one with an R if I were in charge of things. It's worlds away from the goofy, all-in-good fun cartoon battles of
Captain America.
And please, if you're even
thinking about taking a 10-year-old to PG-13 movies, consult a good web site, like
this one.