120 years before Enterprises maiden Voyage, Jonathan Archer, an early Federation President and possibly John Gill (TOS Patterns of Force.) suggests “the greatest explorer of the 22nd century” (In the Mirror Darkly II.) from an as yet to be made redundant future may have destroyed the first Xindi Home world (or possibly chose not to save their world from the otherdimensional Sphere Builders as part of some long term plans or even a bitter fit of vengeance unfortunately creating a self-fulfilling prophecy? His culpability in controlling the tide of this ea of history was never determined, but since “one definition” of Jonathan Archer was on the scene with enough foreknowledge to have aggravated or hastened the destruction of the original Xindi home world it’s indeterminate what he did or why? Archer may have considered the coming destruction of the original Xindi Home world an event not worth becoming embroiled in because he ignorantly didn’t think of becoming involved or he maybe Archer still saw the ancestors of the Xindi he knew as the same enemy just guilty of crimes their descendants had yet to commit despite having taken the first steps towards a dialogue with Degra in the distant future (Azati Prime) before he fell into the distant past thus making Archer just as irresponsibly callous in taking vengeance on a contemporary species for uncertainly potential future deeds of their children’s children’s children which was the singular reason behind the Xindi’s initial heinous and linearly unprovoked attack on Earth(The Expanse.).) or at least Archer was in the Delphic Expanse when the Xindi Home World was destroyed and was powerless to effect the outcome for any number of reasons. This timelorn Enterprise roamed the Delphic Expanse till a more familiar present creating alliances, arranging mousetraps and contingences to hopefully see that either the Xindi “Death Star” nor its prototype would ever attack Earth. They failed and time unfolded mostly as if Enterprise had never been running interference for her contemporary counterpart recently sent from Earth to put down the Xindi threat from in the Delphic Expanse almost a year earlier (E Squared.). 146 years before Enterprises maiden voyage Captain Jonathan Archer under direction from the 31st century Time Cop Daniels was chasing Reptilian Xindi about the streets of the North American city: Detroit in the year 2003 alongside his Vulcan Science Officer ordering fast food burgers and stealing SUV’s (Carpenter Street.), neither Archer nor T'Pol tried to stop or warn anyone of any turbulent future events that were going to happen in the next few years like the Eugenics Wars, Vulcan Rule, World War III or the Xindi attack on Earth which precipitated their current mission to avert the imminent destruction of the Earth despite having complete autonomy in the past to save the day with seemingly no review from Captain Daniels.
39 years (Approx?) before Enterprise maiden Voyage Jonathan Archer was born in Upstate New York (Northstar.), Son to Henry Archer, founding engineer of humanities Warp Five program (Broken Bow.), Sally Archer (In A Mirror Darkly II.) who would recite The Yarn of the Wandering Angus by Yeats often before bedtime (Rogue.), and grandson to a veteran Officer of the Eugenics War (Hatchery.) remembered for creating a truce between his side and the enemy when the battle neared to close to a school full of worried children. It wasn’t stated which side this grandparent fought on but considering Henry’s congenital defect, this soldier would have to have been Sally’s father to have been working for the genetic supremist Khan. Captain Archer told a clone of his Engineer that being a Starship Captain is what he was meant to be and that it’s what he’d wanted to be for as long as he can remember (Similitude) however he later told his exgirlfriend (Captain) Erica Hernandez, that she reminded him of how she was still the explorer his father always wanted him to be (Home). 32 years before Enterprises maiden Voyage construction began on the Warp 5 Research (Broken Bow.) here Zephram Cochrane gave Henry Archer a bottle of Whisky his son wouldn’t drink until just days before the founding of the Federation with Shran some 42 years later (10 years after Enterprises maiden Voyage.)(These are the Voyages.), for his 8th birthday (admiral) Johnny Archer was presented a book on Astronomy called The Cosmos A to Z (Atoz was the name of an Android Librarian later met by Kirk.) by his Father, little Johnny for the next few years would “read” this book most nights in bed before lights out, or just stare at the cover, an inside page cited the book belonged to The library of Admiral Johnny Archer, Captain Archer later had the opportunity to visit the Arachnid Nebula pictured from the cover of that volume (Fusion.). Also as an 8-year-old child, Johnny’d run wild in the Warp 5 complex oblivious to his fathers’ work and genius’ around him (Singularity.). By the age of Nine Johnny Archer was an accomplished modeler who’d finished a remote mockup of one of Zephram’s warp vessels he’d fly with his father on the beach front (Age established by the script directions to broken Bow.) just prior to his father’s illness becoming noticeably degenerative (Broken Bow) that that same preteen clone of his chief engineer later broke flying it into the side of Enterprises Shuttle Pod Bay (Similitude.). As a hobby Johnny Archer memorized everything on Zephram Cochrane including a quickly recanted drunken speech from late 2063, which highlighted his adventures with the “Borg” (Regeneration, feat Star trek VIII: First Contact.). Johnny Archer was also an Eagle Scout, he’d earned his wilderness survival badge in the New Zealand "rain forests" (of which there are currently none! And the sudden appearance of a rain forest might be simpatico with the New Zealand Penal Colony (Voy Caretaker.) Or the Pennington Institute for Writers in Wellnigton New Zealand (DS9 Explorers.)) but of his 26 merit badges, Johnny Archer never acquired an Exobiology Merit Badge(Rouge.). Henry Archer died of Clark’s Syndrome, sometime before Jonathan Archer's 13th birthday after spending two years in a diminished mental and physical state (Cold Station 12.) (Clarks Syndrome is a degenerative brain disorder, which causes pain, hallucinations, and memory/recognition loss. If Henry Archer did become irrational, it’s possible that Henry Archer’s insane ranting produced most of Captain Jonathan Archers racist attitudes towards Vulcans displayed throughout the first year of his mission of exploration rather than that Henry Archer truly was a bitter twisted old man vengeful and hateful towards the Vulcan people while infinitely proud of his own small-mindedness enough to pass that bigotry onto the next generation.). Johnny also had interests in Houdini (Shadows of P’Jem.), Billie Holiday (Stormfront I.), delved into the works of Charles Dickens like “Nicholas Nickleby”(Cold Station 12.) and Comparative religion (he’d visited the largest Gotti in Tibet (Shadows of P’Jem).) as well as a life long obsession with water polo (Vox Sola.).
Emory Dickerson, (human) creator of the Matter Transporter(Although how much of an inventor he was is really a question of if the Vulcans fudged the existence of this technology before Emory made his final breakthroughs, rather than that he was just aping something he saw the Vulcans already had in operational use.) and family friend was said to have taken on the role of Johnny’s surrogate father after Henry Archer's death. Whether this means that Emory Dickerson and Sally Archer were involved was not disclosed but there is some evidence that Sally Archer did remarry later in life (Daedalus.). “John” Archer might have had a romantic relationship with Emerson's daughter Danika but certainly thought of Emerson’s son as a brother, their families having been almost raised side by side (Daedalus.). How this fit in with the presence or absence form the barely mentioned Sally Archer is a good question. Jonathan Archer described his ninth grade teacher as Stuffy (These Are the Voyages.) but during his entire schooling was only ever sent to the Principles Office once, for passing notes, to Katie Bentley it seems, he’d asked her to the big dance which she had first refused until she’d noticed he’d became a bad boy for getting into trouble and she did go to the dance with him (The Council.). Later in his education Archer took classes in Exobiology (Fight or Flight.) despite never acquiring his Eagle Scout Merit badge in the subject. During his college years Archer played Water polo and still claims it’s “the best sport in the world” (However not clarifying “which” world.) but Archer has been known to play nine ball Pool with Tucker (These are the Voyages.). Archer competed in the North American Regionals against Princeton the year his team got to the finals (Vox Sola.). Although future history records that Starfleet Academy wasn’t erected until 2161 (TNG: First Duty.), despite that deceased 26 year Ensign O’Malley killed in the expanse during the Xindi expedition had a mounted Certificate from Starfleet Academy on her bedside table in her quarters (Early 2154. Stormfront II.), Archer may have still attended “the” Starfleet Academy (built now earlier because of changes to the time line?), or “a” Starfleet Academy operating out of an earlier site and campus or not at all since he is significantly older than Ensign O’Malley(Deceased). Archer must have taken the civil servant tests to qualify for an Ambassadorial position since Tucker once referred to him as a “Trained diplomat” (A Night in Sickbay.) perhaps at Starfleet Academy or “Flight School” (Which actually exists (www.tradewindsaviation.com/)in the real world.)? Archer claims he had a conversation with his father before going away for Flight Training where his father had a simple inspirational speech of “Don’t fail” despite Henry having died more than a decade earlier (Daedalus.). Archer may have been talking about some replacement husband of his mother, or simply he “invents” inspirational speeches to coerce excellence and loyalty through lies and trickery.
Jonathan Archer met Margaret Mullin at the age of 24 and proposed Marriage to her the night before he graduated Flight School outside his apartment on Westgate Avenue, San Francisco. She declined refusing to become a Starfleet widow (Twilight.). Though one would wonder how there was a thriving population of Starfleet Widows when mankind was still bound to its single solar system by Vulcan edict(O, the job occupies more time than the marriage. Got it.)? Archer got fall-down-drunk in a campus pub called the 602 club (A bar near enough SFC that Fly boys frequent it enough that both Reed and tucker thought they were going to marry the patron Ruby years before meeting one another still in use some 200 years later.) the day his girl friend Caroline left him, moving to New Berlin (First Flight.) (New Berlin is a Luna Colony large enough to be seen from the Earth first mentioned in Star Trek VIII: First Contact.). For sometime during the 2240’s Archer pursued a relationship with another Starfleet Officer: the extraordinarily attractive Erica Hernandez, but discontinued the affair after he was promoted to Captain (Home.). A former girlfriend’s mother, possibly either Caroline, Erica or Margaret, had a beagle(Like Snoopy.) that Archer was crazy about; he kept in touch with “whichevers” mother after he’d broken up with the girlfriend. Maybe he had something on the side with the Mother? The unnamed beagle had a litter of four and Jonathan was given the puppy named Porthos. Archer was raised with Dogs and can't remember being without one, during a nightmare (A Night In Sickbay.) Jonathan buried his pooch Porthos next to the graves of possibly two of his former pets, one was called Goldie and the other Duffy (2132-2145.). Porthos has gas problems from eating too much cheese. Considering Archer continues to feed cheese to his fluctuating pooch he must adore the smell despite his first Officer’s incredibly sensitive nose. Archer claims that he never had the opportunity to make a family because he was away from home a lot (Stratagem.) . Again you would have to wonder where he was considering how quickly it is to get from one side of the solar system to the other after making such a bold comment?
Commander Jonathan Archer, 8 years before Enterprises maiden Voyage, was involved in humanities continued efforts to exceed the Warp 2 barrier using a version of his fathers Engine lodged into a prototype test-shuttle in the company of pilots like Duvall, Robinson and Gardner (First Flight.). Archer also met an engineer on the project named Charles Tucker III, they quickly became fast friends (Unexpected.) until one of them many many years later died like an idiot. It was regarded by Archer and others that whichsoever crashtest dummy “broke” Warp Two, that that rocket monkey was going to Captain the Star Ship this enterprise was leading towards the creation of (ironically named Enterprise.). Cmdr. Robinson heckled Archer that he was too determined, with his eye so on the prize he was sacrificing other qualities review boards really jones over, attributes and attitudes like grit, balls and unpredictability. After Robinson unfortunately exploded a prototype shuttle, the Vulcan oversight of humanities interest in joining the galactic community headed by Ambassador Soval, whom young Johnny Archer had called Ambassador Pointy, since before his fathers death, who was also technically a family friend of the Archers, shut down the Warp 5 program (First Flight.) suggesting 20 years of study on the matter would be advisable before Man tries leaving their home system again. In a child like stunt fit, Archer and Robinson stole the last remaining test shuttle after their new acquaintance Lieutenant Charles Tucker III polished Henry Archers design into working order proving that humans could build a decent engine that wasn't going to blow up and cause an interstellar incident which the Vulcans would be accountable for if they dared allow Humanity into deep space (Which happened anyway in Shockwave I, and then didn’t.). These thieves managed to maintain Warp 2.5 as Vulcan and human Authorities tried to hem them in for being dastard criminals. Archer was grounded for three months and the Vulcans ran simulations for 8 months before Commander Duval broke the Warp three Barrier (First Flight.). Jonathan Archer is prematurely Grey and began dying his hair before Enterprise’s maiden Voyage, although we’re not sure when this habit started, it’s of note that through out the first year of his mission of exploration the man was frosted predominately “blonde” an appearance which later receded, and in an alternate Future where Archer lost the ability to create new long term memories and his general care was left in the hands of a Romulan spy named T’Pol, Jonathan was left in a state of complete grayness quick enough after he lost the faculties the maintain his general hair-care (Twilight.), although it was suggested that he may have been in a sexual relationship with T’Pol at that future time by Phlox and it might have been a look she found more attractive and less socially stigmatic since Archer was barely more than half her age that she must have “felt” a dirt letchering cradle robber before you even enter the certainly that she was sexually abusing someone completely mentally handicapped.
Six years before Enterprises maiden Voyage Archer saved Trips life (Unexpected.) during their EVA training together on the surface of Titan where Trip suffered nitrogen poisoning and became so frightened, he irrationally felt compelled to remove his head gear, but followed Archers calming orders not to. Archer was a guest aboard the Vulcan Namora Class Starship Erol under “Captain Tok” studying a dark matter nebula about this time too, he helped set up a graviton telescope and was very impressed with the Vulcan AV suits claiming they’re like miniature Star Ships (Coldfront.). Archer and Tucker soon thereafter spent two weeks desert survival training in Alice Springs, Australia consuming nothing but snakes and recycled sweat (Desert Crossing). Afterwhich they became involved in a somehow foolish and embarrassing poker game at Jupiter station (Rogue Planet.). Archer and Tucker spent so much time together they even developed a shorthand and Trip even taught Archer how to Scuba dive off the coast of Florida (These are the Voyages.). Jonathan lived in San Francisco most of his life and kept an Apartment there, Archer found the food at the space dock cafeteria inedible (Shockwave I.), but he’s a great fan of Chinese Food (Broken Bow), his favorite restaurant serves a delightful Turtle Soup (Azati Prime.). Commander Jonathan Archer wasn’t selected to be Enterprises Captain till 6 months before Enterprises Maiden Launch (which must have been when he broke off relations with Hernandez.) after being heavily involved with the testing of the engine for the previous 6 years (First Flight.) but Ambassador Soval continued to officially insist that Captain Gardner would have been better for the Captaincy aboard Enterprise (Broken Bow) probably because Soval still thought of Archer as a child calling him names behind his back. Archer had some verbal arguments with Captain Jeffries who was in charge of loading Enterprise down with weapons, yelping that he didn’t want to be in charge of a gunship while he’s trying to peacefully make first contact with new species (Home.), six months later into their mission of exploration after being strafed by angry aliens for no reason Archer ordered the ship to turn back to Jupiter Station to install Phase Cannons (Silent Enemy.) the ships specs allotted for, which Archer managed to leave Earth Space without Jeffries bolting into Enterprises gun ports, so almost immediately and in retrospect years later Archer deemed every weapon he had was necessary and he should have had more (Home.), but Archer was feeling despondent and bitter at the time after fighting a war single handedly, the emotional brunt of which was cured mostly soon after a healthy serving of middle-aged sleeping-bag sex with Erica Hernandez. The First rumblings of the xenophobic isolationist group Terra Prime were seen about this time protesting the construction of Enterprise (Terra Prime.)
One night before Enterprise’s premature maiden voyage, while she was receiving a final spit polish and the World Government fomented finally putting all their ducks in a row (TNG: Attached. No, Australia wasn’t a holdout. That was just a hypothetical.), Jonathan Archer from over a year into the future was transpositioned briefly with the temporal identity of this (then) present-days “self” while taking a meeting with Captain Daniels, an inept Time Agent from the 31st century playing fast and lose with reality because shit was happening above his paygrade even though he was the last man standing. They spent their playdate teaching Archer how to create a scanning device capable penetrating Suliban cloaking technology (Shockwave I.) not that most anyone knew what a cloak was back then or Kirk wouldn’t have found the device useful a hundred years later or Archer himself in any of his other adventures including cloaked ships and cloaked moon sized space deforming spheres further down the time stream (Just about most all of Season 3.). The present day Archer the night before Enterprise maiden Voyage was not aware of the switchout and time continued on seemingly unaltered.
Hours before Enterprises premature maiden Voyage, a Klingon courier named Klaang carrying evidence incriminating Suliban agents of agitating several Klingon houses towards a messy Civil War, had been bared down to a corn field in Broken Bow Oklahoma by the Suliban Cabal. After dispatching two Soldiers by exploding a corn silo with a powerful hand weapon, Klaang was in turn shot by a disgruntled yokel farmer and delivered to Starfleet. These happenings came to the ear of Captain Archer who belligerently intruded on a high level discussion between Starfleet Admiral Forrest and Vulcan Ambassador to Earth Soval aside the Klingon’s “deathbed” in a Starfleet hospital under the care of a Denobulan Doctor called Phlox, a participant in the interspecies medical exchange. It is here while posturing that Jonathan Archer meets T’Pol who seems anything but impressed. Ambassador Soval tires to explain that the Vulcans were told to take point by the Klingon Government, who wanted the “body” returned to Qo’noS with no messing about. Archer didn’t understand that if Klaang was been denied medical treatment and allowed to die, first it assured the giant an honorable death, and second that the Klingon Government who had hidden the “message” inside Klaang’s blood would receive all the data they needed without causing a Suliban reaction which if it had bothered to go after Klaangs corpse (Klingon death rites claim that the body is a worthless shell, the High Council only wanted his blood.) might have been less effective against a powerful and quick Vulcan Vessel ferrying Klaangs remains to Qo’noS. Archer would not tolerate the thought of an unnecessary death (No matter the moral structure of whatever alien religion was in play because human morality is superior.), and dictated despite the wishes of the Klingon Government and probably Klaang that the DNR order would be ignored. Archer volunteered his ship “Enterprise” for the fetch errand a week before she was due to begin its “Mission of Exploration” stating he’ll be ready to leave in 12 hours despite key systems being unemplaced or as yet online and some crew positions still vacant that among some quick decisions Archer drafted the Denobulan standing next to him without looking over his resume in the slightest(Which lead to some problems with relative ethics down the line.). No one knew or cared that poor Klaang and his family would be dishonored for ten generations. Admiral Forest was a little put out by Archer’s terrible manners in front of his Vulcan(ROMULAN!) masters but had probably been looking for a diplomatic way to express the same sentiment for hours.
Despite that Qo’noS was only four days away (At “Warp 4”. Enterprise was the only a Warp 5 vessel on paper.), Archer was forced to briefly take the Vulcan (Romulan Spy!) T’Pol for his Science Officer in exchange for directions to this far away place (obviously Enterprises Engine was unique and 4 warp factors faster than anything else in Starfleet or the Boomer fleet, so to any other ship Qo’noS was months or years journey away and not a few days.) confronting his overt (inherited) blaring racism at a head that he had to tolerate this green blooded emotionless stick of a woman, in exchange for Vulcan star charts (And near enough their entire database about any world they might encounter for years in any direction, even Romulans.) to plot a course towards even such a marginally pitiful distance, the housebound equivalent of being surprised to find a mailbox in your front yard, and a footpath beyond that. Archer quickly outlined his distrust of T’Pol’s people and her government and that if she was there to be a spy for the Central Command, she’d get her comeuppance. En route the Suliban Cabal kidnapped Klaang. They left an invisible a path to Rigel, which Archer could only follow by sulking until subcommander T’Pol upgraded Enterprises puny sensors. On Rigel, Archer made-out with a shape changing Suliban expatriate who explained the Suliban were taking orders from the distant future and that it was she that had given Klaang proof that the Suliban were trying to start a Klingon Civil War, it’s possible at this point, while macking with Archer that she may have also “dosed” Archer too with whatever genetic markers she had encoded the information into Klaang with as well, but it never came up. As the gorgeous Suliban explained what sort of mess Archer had gotten himself into, Jonathan completely blanked at the term “Temporal Cold War" and despite soon coming into direct conflict with the head of the Cabal "Silik" and his futuristic boss man "Future Guy" in a “temporal chamber” in which time worked badly hiccupping with future echoes, Archer, as well as the human and Vulcan Governments that Archer reported to, didn't seem to have any interest in putting a stop to any meddling of their timeline by upstream adgitatants and so still perused their lives as if they weren't plaything's to the Future Guy's 29th century manipulative self interest as well as other factions in the Temporal Cold War shaping the 22nd century (Broken Bow.)… Archer seemed unconcerned that he was a puppet being manipulated by cosmic blowhards playing craps with reality. Then again it's entirely altogether possible that Archer never told anyone who couldn't be trusted about what was going on and it’s just as possible that the higher ups on Earth and/or Vulcan were in the pocket of futurists with their own agendas, or simply thought Archer was on weed. Archer’s blasé attitude about time travel continued on even after his Yeomen (Captain Daniels.) serving him nosh each night since they left drydock unveiled his true nature as a Temporal Agent with his own Agenda and aspersions about how the future should come about and how Archer should be manipulated and lead to achieve which goals (Cold Front.). After more explosions and killing, Archer brang Klaang before the Klingon High Council diffusing a brooding Klingon Civil War with information stored in Klaang’s blood that everything could be blamed on an insurgency. The Klingon Chancellor grunts some threats in gratitude as only a Klingon can. Later Archer's Vulcan (Romulan) Science Officer Subcommander T'Pol refabricated those threats to be understood as the exact opposite of the original feelings behind those comments, that the Chancellor thought of Archer as his “brother” while kindly asking a Klingon Captain not kill them all (Unexpected.). For some reason Archer decided to allow the Vulcan (ROMULAN!!!!) to stay aboard his ship, who for some other equally inexplicable reason wanted to despite the unbearable stench of humanity and cheese loaded Dog, and Enterprise was shortly thereafter given word from Earth that their mission of Exploration was a go.
Archer spent the first two weeks in deep space looking for a squeak in his quarters and was still complaining about it a year later, after Enterprise was damaged in a Romulan Minefield (Deadstop.), he still didn’t know how long it would take to arm a torpedo or prep a shuttle (Fight or Flight.(There are actually 3 basic instincts and that third one also begins with an “F”.). In his first First Contact scenario, Archer foolhardily sent the co-ordinates to Earth to an unknown species who turned out to be organ harvesters (Fight or flight.). A few weeks later Archer allows some of his crewmen to go camping on a planet, which is later be named after him, with no “noticeable” life. The planet’s atmosphere was writhing with psychotropic compounds, which quickly drove the happy campers into psychotic paranoid rages, turning on each other and insects with energy weapons. There was then also a transporter accident when Archer tried to recover a crewman from a gale which grounded the shuttle, the crewman had his matter stream spliced with mud and bark and leaves and other particulate matter from the storm and died soon after from a build up of the psychotropics in his blood work (Brave New World.). Weeks later a cloaked Zirillian vessel riding in Enterprises wake borrowing power, disrupting Enterprises systems was unmasked. Commander Tucker was sent over to help with repairs who was then accidentally impregnated. It took some weeks to find the Zirillians who were then “borrowing” power off a Klingon warship, Archer revealed the parasitic existence of the Zirillians feeding off the Klingons, which started the Klingons bellowing orders to execute the Zirillian Crew, which would have weighed on Archers conscience and should have taught him another lesson about how to talk with Klingons, but it all worked out after Archer paid off the Klingons with Zirillian Holography technology without asking the Zirillians if it was against their beliefs to hand over potentially dangerous technology to an actually dangerous species just like Janeway would do with the Hirogen 200 years later leading to disastrous consequences (Voy: The Killing Game/Flesh and Blood.). One might wonder if Archer might have volunteered weapons technology if the Klingons weren’t appeased by the holography technology to save all their lives if the Klingons had been just a little angrier?
Barely a month into their mission of exploration Archer was tempted to use force against a misplaced colony of humans who had reverted to barbarism after surviving the crux of disastrous ecological contamination, as the Vulcan (ROMULAN!) Science Officer suggested using “Stun Grenades” to incapacitate, forcefully relocate and reeducate the humans of Terra Nova rather than trying to accept them for who they were. Captain Archer said something very defining in this moment “We don’t deserve to be out here if we can’t even get along with our own people.” Instead of force, Archer resorted to sheer friendliness to communicate with the Novan humans, he’s a uniter, not a divider (Terra Nova.), relocating the colony to a safe harbor on the southern continent away from the deadly fallout of a radioactive comet strike of decades earlier, where their barbarous society might thrive. Weeks later Enterprise visits the Vulcan Temple at P’Jem under siege by Andorian soldiers claiming the temple is a diabolical secret listening post near the edge of Andorian Space peering into their private ongoings. Archer was in turn also captured and beaten but escaped, discovering the ancient temple was indeed a diabolical secret listening post, after gaining the upper hand over his jailers with the truth all lighted, in the name of fair play, Archer called a truce with the Andorians handing oven the corroborating evidence that Vulcans WERE spying on the Andorians, over to the Andorian Commander Shran, allowing the Andorian Commandos egress (The Andorian Incident.). Fallout from these actions and T’Pol’s compliance with Archer’s decision would plague the Vuclan till the fall of her Romulan backed government almost 4 years later, even forcing her mother to retire early from her teaching position at the Vulcan Science Academy (Home.). Soon after, Archer discovered a huge comet that was not in the all-knowing Vulcan Database. Archer was dismayed to find a Vulcan ship shadowing Enterprise patronistically looking after his Mission of Exploration as if Archer was a retarded child (“As if” as if!). Archer believing he’s devious and subtle invited the Vulcan Captain of the warding vessel, Vanek, to dinner aboard Enterprise… And hilarity ensured. Hours later after being put in his place Archer was furious to find that his Science Officer was after all a two faced Spy, sending and receiving secret messages from the Vulcan ship. This drove Archer’s balls red with the maddening but it all turned out to be a personal matter about Subcommander T’Pol’s impending waylaid arranged marriage but Archer was never told the specifics, just that Subcommander T’Pol’s definition of a private life is guarded. Eventually after a shuttle accident Archer learns a little humility by asking for help from the Captain Vanek to save his crewmen from a shuttle accident no the surface of the comet (Breaking the Ice.), however he only responded when T’Pol used reverse psychology to suggest that Captain Vanek was laughing at his stubborn impotent human sense of unwarranted inflated independence.
Next Archer came across a preindustrial world being surreptitiously mined by secretive advanced aliens for valuable ore, but “waste” was poisoning the indigenous unwitting population. Although the Prime Directive did not yet exist (Not till 2168(TOS A Piece of the Action.) the Vulcans had similar theories which were forced on Archer throughout his early missions by he sickly thin Sub Commander T'Pol, however Archer was compelled to reveal his alien nature to a plucky Apothecary who could be trusted not to be an idiot who he liked kissing. Archer kicked the baddies offworld and cleaned up the environmental damage and stricken casualties (Civilization.). Shortly thereafter Enterprise answered a distress call from some Boomers who claimed they didn’t need any help. What they didn’t tell Archer is that after they were attacked by Norsican pirates, and they’d taken a prisoner who they were torturing the poor SOB for the location of his home base to blow it the hell up. Their plan goes pearshaped becoming quickly surrounded and outgunned. Enterprise intrudes on the one up man ship threatening Manifest Destiny that there will be lots and lots of NX Class starships in this region of space in the years to come (less than 10 actually before the fleet is mothballed and replaced by something faster we’re not privy to the specs of, perhaps the Daedalus class? The Daedalus Class Starship Essex was destroyed in 2167(TNG Powerplay.). This class of ship was retired in 2196.) that making war with Humanity was a very bad idea and the a new invigorated stipulation to good conduct and the letter of the law would be wise as if Archer was part of some huge Fleet of Star Ships capable of civilizing the final frontier by garrisoning every hive of scum and villainy hereabouts (Fortunate Son). AS IF!?
Shortly, leader of the Suliban Cabal, Silik disguised as a monk boarded Enterprises, at Archer’s invitation, to observe a religious exploding deca-annually space thingy go spurty from Enterprise’s Observation Deck along with a gaggle of real devotees, and secretly saved Enterprise from blowing up when the space thingy hiccupped refiggiting time to not starting a predestined cascade boom throughout Enterprise. Because Enterprise didn’t explode, a confused and worried Yeoman “Daniels" revealed to Archer that he was really a 31st century time cop there to record for the history books the final days aboard Enterprise before her destruction. This would obviously mean that from "Daniels" original timeline which would soon have collapsed because Archer now survived this accident when he never ever used to have as part of Daniels recorded history. Form this moment onward all of Daniels certainty about what history looked like and what the future “looked” like IS twaddle, but some how "Daniels " convinces Archer to help him hunt down and nut Silik, the fellow who saved Archer from certain death despite putting time on its ear so that Archer would live rather than not, creating an entirely new history in which Daniels enemies would prosper, not that Daniels would ever prove that he worked for the good guys or even knew what he was doing. Silik escaped after killing Daniels. “Yeoman” (Captain) Daniels crew quarters were sealed off because Archer didn't want to think about the seductive advanced technology and booby traps protecting Daniels seductive advanced technology might still be hidden somewhere in there which could be used to contaminate the timeline further (Coldfront.) any worse than Enterprise and it’s crew not being annihilated in by “the great plume”.
A few weeks later Enterprise was bitchslapped so bad that Captain Archer finally accepted he’d left Earth before they were ready exactly like everyone had been continuously telling him for the past 6 months. Archer elects to return to Jupiter Station to have Enterprises missing phase cannons mounted. On the way home Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Reid did their best to mount a Phase Cannon they had in storage themselves which is fortunate since the aliens that had owned Enterprise did return to stake a claim on these butt monkeys they could effortlessly push around like high school thugs after milk money. After a tenuous victory Archer decides that his crew is super cool and it’s not yet time to say die, reversing his orders they continue their Mission of Exploration (Silent Enemy.). Later Enterprise comes across a sublight vessel inching its way out of its home system on the off chance they’ll run across an advanced benevolent species with the technology to understand and fix up a plague ravaging their people. The plague turns out to be natural genetic degradation as if Mother Nature quit on these folks, which Phlox explains to Archer “must be” to make way for the other more viable sentient culture living on the same planet who were being mothered and stifled by the Dominant but running down species. They beg Archer to hand over the secrets of Warp Drive so that they can go out and search for a cure at a better pace before they’re all dead but that’s not a responsibility that Archer believes he can weather or a burden the placing of on the totality of humanity, as it would take generations to guide these people toward the sensible use, creation and maintenance of Warp technology, which pops a flash bulb above Archer’s head to strobe off as he realizes the Vulcans are still going about that exact same duty after a hundred years, so how different is that from a great grandmother in her mid 30’s? Archer finally starts to understand why the Vulcans had been standing on man’s cape for the last century. After Phlox hands over the complete cure to the genetic degradation, the Starship Captain is even further put on the spot, having to decide which race has the right to survive over the other because it’s totally Thunderdome, Jonathan Archer eventually decides that it’s all too big for his handsome shoulders and orders Phlox to water down the cure into a stop gap that will retard the “plagues” effects for maybe ten years but no longer to allow both species on the planet a fighting chance for dominance and survival like roosters cockfighting in jello (Dear Doctor.).
It was then that the Andorians destroyed the (Vulcan listening post) Temple at P’Jem overtly and public ally from orbit. Further complicating T’Pol’s life that she’s ordered to stand down and return to Vulcan for a dressing down (Maxim?). Archer and T’Pol are taken prisoner on Coridan (Later to be seen as a hot talking point between Federation Ambassadors in TOS: Journey to Babel.) by rebels to the puppet Vulcan government after unwittingly walking into the middle of a very quiet Civil War. The odd couple were eventually rescued by Commander Shran of the Andorian Imperial Guard on his own commando mission to destabilize the Vulcan puppet government of Coridan (Shadows of P’Jem.). This began a merciless quid pro quo of favors and debts between Archer and Shran that would go on for years after both of them had been reported dead several times. Almost tripping over those events, a heavily damaged Klingon warship threatened to open fire on Archer after his crew dredged that ship out of a gas giant’s gravity well which guaranteed certain scrunching death. Archer after finally read a 1page synopsis for dummies about talking to Klingons from the Vulcan Database, accepting that Klingons wouldn’t take him seriously unless he yelled and threatened to kill them all a lot several times over, which eventually he did do so to resolve this rescue mission peacefully (Sleeping Dogs.). A week or two later, Tucker and Reid drank a bottle of Whiskey Captain Archer was saving for a special occasion while they thought they were lost in space because Archer got a ding during a parking mishap and they overreacted thinking the crew was dead (Shuttle Pod One.) Not much later Enterprise came across a commune of hippy Vulcans experimenting with emotion (Something T’Pol would do later with drugs when she seduced Tucker during one of her many benders.), studying the Arachnid Nebula (From Admiral Johnny Archer’s book on Cosmology.) in a beat up shuttle. Archer was asked to pass a message from the Vulcan High Command to one of the Hippies, which he acceded to without griping much about being their dogboybitch, but eased those resentful feelings over by kicking the shit out of another Hippy for mind raping his Science Officer who also unknowing contracted a telepathically transmitted degenerative neural disease from the encounter (Fusion.).
While Tucker was taking snap shots of Archer to mock a painting to adorn Starfleet Command, which Archer found completely embarrassing, he’s not a creature driven by vanity, despite the hair, Enterprise came across a “Rogue Planet”. Planetside Archer was eventually invited to join a hunting party after sentient emotional metamorphs that can assume the shape of anything or anyone. One the emotional metamorphs assumed the persona of L’ll Johnny Archer’s interpretation of the good fairy from “The Poem the Wander Angus” his mother used to recite to him as a child. Phlox was able to genetically modify the Emotional metamorphs “tell” so they wouldn’t be such easy prey altering the balance of power in the happy hunting ground that some of the hunters were killed and would be wary about being so brash coming back again (Rogue.) which is a complete reverse on Phlox and Archers thoughts on evolution dredged up weeks earlier (Dear Doctor.). Just weeks later Archer allows a relic on board his ship which is in truth a Trojan gas trap, that quickly incapacites all the crew allowing a cartel of Ferengi a few hours to ransack the ship for booty. Archer was eventually awakened to tell the Ferengi were the ships “safe” was hidden, here he kept all the really valuable stuff. Archer still bound and at gunpoint, starts telling a series of cunning tall tales to avoid T’Pol and perhaps other female crew being taken to the Orion Slave Markets (Which happens anyway 3 years later (Boarderland.)). With some help from his deliciously naked Chief Engineer Archer turns the tables of the Ferengi entrepreneurs evicting them from local space with a harsh warning, making these villains someone else’s problem (Acquisition.). It is to noted how completely similar the death of Trip Tucker this comical adventures remains.
Running short on supplies and spare parts, Enterprise goes into the salvage business bordering on grave robbing with plans to ransack a downed ghost ship. Archer goes boldly forward into a Scooby Doo mystery unmasking the crew of the supposed derelict as a community holograms shepherding the final two survivors these last 20 years (Oasis.). How could it have been too long after that that Archer was himself downed on a Shuttle mission for coming too close to a moon under the jurisdiction of Tandor Prime? Captain Archer and his helmboy Travis Mayweather were interned a few light years away, stocked in a camp full of Suliban looked over by the Tandorain Colonel Grat who was quite interested in what Archer knew about the Suliban Cabal and the Temporal Cold War, but Jonathan was reticent on sharing this information with someone with such bad manners. Jonathan made some racist assumptions not realizing that these Suliban were not members of Silik’s Cabal and had not even been genetically modified, just innocent civilians and children caught in the geo-politi-ideological crossfire. Archer became friendly with some of the Suliban there and spearheaded a jailbreak releasing upward of 78 Suliban from the care of the Tandorians creating something of a legend for himself almost larger than life as a great emancipator (Detained.). What became of these friendships and enemies was not drawn upon again, however exaggerated versions of stories based on this adventure traveled far and created false hope in other freedom fighters trying to chuck off the yolk of oppression (Desert Crossing.).
While bargaining with the dogmatic Kretessians, Enterprise was inadvertently boarded by an inhumanoid lifeform who bonds simpatico with every living thing it touches while growing. The Kretessians are horribly offended by Archer and his crew “eating food” in front of them, ejecting the humans from their space without explaining why they’re revolted and disgusted. Several members of the crew including Archer are slaved to a hive mind before the Kretessians can be found to hint at what’s happening and a dialogue can be opened with the lifeform, whereabouts returning the beastie to its homeworld becomes a practicality (Vox Sola.). Next Archer is ordered to again play dogboybitch for the Vulcan High Command picking up V’Las a high ranking diplomat suddenly in the middle of some scandal on the Mazerite Homeworld, which turns out to be ruse fuddling with her culpability in unwinding a huge criminal conspiracy to co-opt the Mazerite Government. This is the first time that Enterprise’s Engines make a prolonged sustained flight at warp 5 as she is chased by a heavily armed squadron of Mazerite fighters intent on “gods know what” after they shut the Vulcan up. During a debate with the ancient Vulcan Archer is forced to justify Humanities presence in the galactic community by reminding Ambassador V’Las of their one hundred years good behavior since WWIII, when she retorts that some Vulcans are still dismayed by that tussle no matter pretense in civility afterward. The Mazerites eventually overtook Enterprise, forcing it to a standstill wherein Archer starts jibing like a petrolhead asking how much faster the Mazerite Ships could book, envious of their engines and a little put out by the short comings of Enterprise. Fortunately Archer’s arrogance has been cut down over the last few years and his deminished vanity allowed him to call on help from a nearby powerful Vulcan Ship warship so the day was saved by the narrowest of margins by relying on the kindness of strangers (Fallen Hero.). After being waylaid by the past few adventures in an attempt to allot some shore leave, Enterprise finally makes orbit of the pleasure world Risa(Two Days and Two Nights.)(Risa is renowned for Sluts, sport and booze. Even people like Picard and Quark can get laid with minimum effort on Risa.), stunningly T’Pol isn’t stopped at customs for executing a Vulcan criminal from the last time she was there (The Seventh.). Archer rather than whoring, spends his time with Porthos in a beachside condo dipping his toe into a huge bound copy of “The Teachings of Surak” which T’Pol made a present of earlier in the day. His neighbor is a hot blonde Tandorian spy sent there to gain his confidence and milk information about Silik (you can milk anything with nipples), the Cabal and the Temporal Cold War. Archer sees through her trickery and pitches a hissy before going back to his book and condominium view with no further trouble (2 Days Two Nights.).
Near about the end of his fist year in space, the Suliban trick Archer into taking responsibility for blowing up a small colony, killing about 3000 people in the process, Enterprise is recalled by Earth at the advisement of the Vulcans and the Warp 5 program is mothballed along with Mans intentions to be his own Man. Six months later (Captain?) Archer is pulled backward in time to the night before Enterprises premature maiden Voyage by the 31st Century Time Cop and former Yeoman/Steward “Captain Daniels” who then taught Archer how to construct future tech capable of scanning through a Suliban Cloak and then returned Archer to a point in history hours after the disaster that destroyed the Perogan Colony. With the new scanner employed, they tracked down the Suliban ship that was really responsible for the death toll and in an exciting commando mission Archer steals incriminating files on the disaster from the Suliban Ships database. On the way to Earth to unincriminate themselves (Which should have taken months!), Enterprise is outgunned and surrounded by dozens of Suliban Cell ships demanding to take Archer prisoner or they’ll kill everyone. While trying to hand himself over to the would be kidnappers Archer is magically yanked forward to a newly demolished 31st century by Daniels who was playing fast and loose removing Archer from History without enough forthought that it all blew up in his face (Shockwave I.). Unless it was all a trick on Daniels part that he still retained total recall of his original timeline, maybe the time travel machinery he was using was temporally shielded from restructualizing temporal editing as the Earth transformed into Mad-Maxlike fractured brokedown wasteland in which the Federation was never gounded, yet any such technology that would have saved Daniels and Archer from being edited would have likely have survived which Daniels claimed hadn’t and they were both no trapped on a 31st Century Earth seemingly dead and too technologically backward to guarantee their ability to return at all while Silik in the past is fuming that Archer is cowardly hiding still aboard Enterprise contemplating blowing up Earths first and their only Warp 5 Star Ship. Somehow Archer piggy backs on a signal sent to Silik from his 29th century employer who would also be finding it difficult to exist now that Archer was not destined to be in the past any more, beats Silik up and makes his way to Earth to clear Enterprise of all charges (Shockwave II). Despite living out 6 months in a redundant time line, Archer doesn’t seem to take advantage of any future history he may have been aware of not that exploring deep space would be conducive to insider trading charges when all his other experiences were quite earthbound.
A year after Enterprises premature maiden voyage, Archer and Tucker sit down with their Science Officer T’Pol to congratulate her for sticking it out. She gets so ratassed drunk as to make up tall stories about Vulcans running around in Earth’s 1950s before having to steady herself with both hands to get out of a seated position (Carbon Creek.). A week later Enterprise runs afoul of a Romulan Minefield bonding to a live contact-mine, which staples Lieutenant Reid to the hull in the abortive process of tentatively unpriming the bomb. Archer himself ends up on the hull too, helping to defuse the explosive while a Romulan Warbird cloaks and delcloaks issuing threats about who is the major power in this region of space. Despite Reed exclaiming that a real Captain capable of making the tough decisions would just leave him, Archer explained that that wasn’t who he was and then rode a huge section of the hull like a surfboard on the concussion wave as the mine exploded beside them (Minefield.). Hours later looking over the damage to his ship Archer is wise enough to realize he needs help. They send out a general distress signal but he’s been around the block enough by now to know not to look so weak as to invite pilot fish for a nibble. A passing Starship offers directions to a nearby repair station which kidnaps and replaces Travis Mayweather with a clone killed in a staged accident which enrages Captain Archer into eventually destroying the repair station and handily reacquiring his lost helmboy in the process after the ploy comes to light (Deadstop.). Just a little later Archer again offends the Kretessians (he offended them previously in Vox Sola.) when his dog Porthos pissed on some religiously significant tree’s which karmically poison the beagle who spends a night in sick bay being spliced with a lizard for spare body parts. Archer had been negotiating for new plasma injectors (Lorien believed his father Trip could just make them out of nothing.) but was unwilling to apologize to the people that were in the process of murdering his pet through a degree of neglect while trying to work out some sexual hunger he was feeling for Subcommander T’Pol. Eventually he realized that getting the engine part was more important than feeding his ego, so found a chainsaw painted himself up like an Indian Brave and did what was asked of him before a stacked cheering auditorium and accordingly received his engine part (and some spares. Spares! Having also returned to earth and been refit, what was Lorien’s problem?) with the extreme gratitude of the Kretessians for going through the motions (A night in Sickbay.) and being a good sport, who would eventually be founding members of the Coalition of Planets because they thought Archer was simply smashing(Terra Prime.) .
Shortly thereafter Archer bolstered a frontier community against Klingon Warlords (scrap merchants.) without revealing his presence citing how it’s better to teach someone to fish, while doing just about everything to save the day and catch the fish. No good deed goes unpunished as Archer’s crew contracted space cooties here that would take some weeks to reveal itself (Marauders.). Not long after that, the Vulcan high command sent T’Pol out to capture a Vulcan spy gone native these last 20 years, for some reason she’d decided to take Archer with her for back up, maybe because she trusts him, which is lucky since she “wigged-out” halfway through and he’d had to act as her moral compass telling T’Pol to stop thinking bout moral ambiguity, follow orders and shoot the bad guy (The Seventh.). Moving along, unmasked as potentially malevolent aliens lurking about on a prewarp world trying to recover misplaced advanced Human technology Lieutenant Reed had lost on an earlier visit, Archer creates a series of lies explaining that his technology and appearance is the result of the enemies of these people interrogating him are preparing to fight a war using magic like energy weapons, invisible spaceships and genetically engineered soldiers capable of surviving effortlessly inside lethal gas attacks totally changing the shape of an already volatile cold war. Archer is bitterly disdained to admit that the story made him seem to be like a Suliban Terrorist rather than a valiant explorer (Communicator.). Eventually Enterprise encountered a radiation phenomena that made the Crew all go (more) insane, they became fetishists focused to a fine point on a differing variety of singular matters to the expense of all reason, Archer was trying to write a preface for a novel about his father, a subject he’s usually in orbit of anyway. After everyone collapsed from the latter stages of radiation sickness except for T’Pol who was slightly immune to the event (But fortunately singularly focused on the problem fracking them by the problem fracking them.), she chose to revive a still half insane Archer to steer the ship clear of the radiation phenomena by having a shower with him (unlike the shower she would later share with Trip Tucker.), and they saved the day because she trusts him to be a hero even when he is half asleep (Singularity.).
2 years into their mission of exploration, Archer and most of his crew were still skittish about using the transporter and would only do so under direct orders from Archer (Vanishing point.). Almost immediately after that Enterprise runs afoul of two kidnappers holding a really really beautiful princess in cold storage, the kidnappers were so ballsly as to request of Enterprise some general maintenance on the stasis pod they had their gorgeous hostage locked down inside while they had dinner with Captain Archer and the Romulan Spy T’Pol. Regardless, when the shit hit the fan, the two diner guests managed to fight their way through all manner of security, incapacitate Enterprise and scarper scot-free. It took Archer a while to get his underroos unclipped from his ears but it all worked out in the end because Tucker is action-man (Precious cargo.). Some weeks later Enterprise is exploring a planet when some campers warn them that a stellar storm front is hours away from boiling the skin off every living thing it touches and Enterprise should clock warp 7 immediately if they should think about surviving, which is unfortunately beyond Enterprises capabilities. Commander Tucker eventually proscribes that the crew, all 80 somewhat, camper guests and Phloxes menagerie, can hide in the heavily shielded warp nacel catwalks. Enterprise is rollicking in the storm for several days before she’s boarded by privateers intent on conscripting Enterprise to their militia coincidentally the same species as the campers sharing the Catwalk with Archer who admit that it’s not a coincidence and that they lied to Archer. They are in fact deserters being hunted down for conscientious objection to serving in an unjust Army of sorts. Archer managed to trick the garrison setting up shop on his ship that he was ready to destroy Enterprise rather than let it fall into Enemy hands by ordering Mayweather to throw the ship at a more volatile section of the neurotic storm forcing a bad guy evacuation (Catwalk.).
A little later Archer lost Tucker among a plane of 70 odd moons after his shuttle was shut down and the environment of his crash site dampened most technology nixing a distress signal. During the rescue mission Archer made friendly overtures with the mother ship of the shuttle that shot down Tuckers shuttle, who’re currently in the middle of a bloody minded cold war with the Vulcans. After a successful recovery of both pilots T’Pol claims that Archer made greater strides towards a friendship with these people in one day than the Vulcans had in a century (Dawn.). Some weeks later Archer is miffed to find that his doctor had been conspiring to leave him in the dark about his Science Officer having a degenerative mental disease which would have raised parallel’s for Archer to the last years of his fathers life babbling like a madman swearing blue bloody murder about the Vulcans conspiring against him to destroy his engine, when Vulcan Officials from an interspecies medical conference Phlox and by extension Enterprise was attending, tell Archer of Phloxes duplicitous hamfisted attempts to deceive them into unhinging delicate private medical research into Pa’nar Syndrome, a socially unclean disease only contracted by disreputable outcasts practicing lurid telepathic interemotional mingling of which they have evidence that T’Pol is afflicted and therefore morally unequipped to represent Vulcan as an officer of the High Command. There’s a trial to determine if T’Pol is a dirty girl unworthy of her rank and status in Vulcan Culture, Archer argues for her side vehemently even though he’d at first forgotten that she’d been raped mid last year as to when she contracted this Pa’Nar Syndrome… But eventually the rape comes to light and she’s labeled a victim so leniency was meted out for this case (Stigma.). Despite Jonathan’s outrage, Phlox still kept mum later when T’Pol was off her nut on a drug addled crazed Trillium roller coaster ride while being in charge of the ship during combat situations (Azati Prime.).
In what Tucker described as Enterprises first Diplomatic Mission, Commander Shran heading a commando mission to retake a contested world intersecting the boarders of Andorian and Vulcan Space, holding several Vulcan’s hostage requested third party mediation from Captain Jonathan Archer from Ambassador Soval who’s jaw must have dropped to the flaw. Upon arriving Archer was treated with the usual disdain from this Vulcan but kept his cool and kept his word with both sides of the conflict and set the pace for months of peaceful diplomatic negotiations keeping his word to both sides of the conflict no matter who tried to back stab whom (Ceasefire.). Just a little while later Enterprise found a timeship from somewhen in the future crewed by a Human/Vulcan hybrid and then had both the Suliban and the Tholians arrived to fight over possession of it. Without really knowing who the timeship belonged to, Archer activates the timeships temporal transponder begging someone to collect their property before the Suliban and Tholians finish killing each other to see who gets to take possession of Enterprise and the Timeship. Fortunately the futurists, whoever they were shook up the situation and allowed Enterprise to escape unsinged (Futuretense.). It wasn’t long before Archer was again mistaken for a baddie and shipped off to another prison colony. Unfortunately before the mistake could be corrected, a maniac in charge of a prison break threatens to space everyone to cover his escape. Archer cunningly manages to create a new roguish personality and become a useful addition to gang of thugs trying to avoid incarceration and through some guile and misdirection retakes the ship in Time for Reed and his big blokes with guns to storm the prison ship with nothing much to do. After a formal apology form the government, Archer is afforded the opportunity to make a pious speech underpinning how many more people have been unjustly imprisoned by the incompetent legal system at work here (Canamar.)?
Weeks later Enterprise is eaten by a huge space ship filled full of noncorporeal otherdimensional beings who transposition their essence with the souls of Enterprises crew taking their bodies on joyrides perhaps permanently as their non corporeal world comes closer to an imminent end. Despite initial protests from the aliens that everything is innocent Archer is furious that his weapons and engines are out of order while inside the aliens mammoth vessel and continuously bellows orders to get everything fixed and vamoose since of late Archer has finally been building up some trust issues after being burnt continuously. Archer orders anyone acting unusually to be remanded to Quarters. They get out of the belly of the beast, but there’s some shooting (The Crossing.) It wasn’t long before Archer was again mistaken for a baddie and shipped off to another prison colony. This time it was the Klingons incarcerating Captain Archer for allowing safe passage to refugees from a Klingon protectorate fleeing a little oppression, where upon Archer was sentenced to life imprisonment in the dilithium mines on Rua Penthe (The same fate as will be exacted on Kirk and McCoy in a hundred and 40 years (Star Trek XI The Undiscovered Country.).) for his charity, but his crew bribed court officials to have Archer’s paperwork lost in the shuffle and an escape from the mines was semi legally sanctioned after a few character building days mining dilithium (Judgment.). A little later Archer was given the opportunity to spend a few days flying through the photosphere of a sun by a friendly Narn (R.I.P.) in a tricked out bathysphere. When Archer returned from his working holiday, Jonathan found that any chance of good relations between their two races had been bollocksed by his Chief Engineer teaching one of their sexslaves how to read, about the existence of personal liberty, movies and suggesting asylum is a good idea. Archer is screaming at Tucker that he should know better than to judge and interfere in the social politics of an alien race they know next to nothing about, Tucker claims he was following Archers example, which raises Archers hackles to the roof because he forgetfully can’t think of a single example to prove that assertion is true. After the sexslave is returned, the point becomes moot because the sexslave commits suicide rather than return to a life of a fetus-fertilizing pincushion. Tucker is forced to feel guilty about that too (Congenitor.).
A little down the road Civilian Scientists under the auspices of Starfleet found wreckage from the Borg Sphere Picard downed in 2063 (Star Trek VIII: First Contact.) in the Arctic Circle, wittingly but unfortunately then revived two drones that formed a collective assimilating any technology and biology they came into contact with. These Borg set a course for the Delta Quadrant to upgrade the home front with future tech. Archer was asked to intercept the “Borg Shuttle” and unfortunately some of his crew were taken for drones because Archer underestimated Borg resolve at first. Archer finally accepted he had to deliver a killing blow because it was probably impossible to recover the assimilated drones and killed everyone jetting for Borg Space (Regeneration.). Moving along, Archer discovered a Dark Matter Nebula, and named it the Robinson Nebula after Captain A.E Robinson who provoked Archer into stealing a prototype NX Shuttle 9 years earlier to resuscitate the Vulcan kyboshed Warp Five Program (First Flight). Some weeks later looking for shore leave Archer accepts vacationing advice from a good tempered Tellerite, expert on a seemingly uninhabited planet they’re both in orbit of. Two feet past the air lock and the Tellerite starts thumping and shooting people, nabs Archer skips back into his shuttle, incapacitates Enterprise with a glancing blow from his disrupters, then heads off with enough forethought to lay a false trail leaving the Humans on his tail dumbstruck and no where near his tail. The Tellerite was collecting a bounty on Archer for escaping the Klingon Penal Colony some weeks earlier sponsored by the Duras family. Archer painted a hard luck story where upon he was a hero and not some villain, it barely worked. Duras reneged, only paying a third the promised purse. A small conspiracy later Archer was handed over to Duras with the keys to his handcuffs on hand, slipping out of Duras’ care easily and getting back to Enterprise (Bounty.).
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39 years (Approx?) before Enterprise maiden Voyage Jonathan Archer was born in Upstate New York (Northstar.), Son to Henry Archer, founding engineer of humanities Warp Five program (Broken Bow.), Sally Archer (In A Mirror Darkly II.) who would recite The Yarn of the Wandering Angus by Yeats often before bedtime (Rogue.), and grandson to a veteran Officer of the Eugenics War (Hatchery.) remembered for creating a truce between his side and the enemy when the battle neared to close to a school full of worried children. It wasn’t stated which side this grandparent fought on but considering Henry’s congenital defect, this soldier would have to have been Sally’s father to have been working for the genetic supremist Khan. Captain Archer told a clone of his Engineer that being a Starship Captain is what he was meant to be and that it’s what he’d wanted to be for as long as he can remember (Similitude) however he later told his exgirlfriend (Captain) Erica Hernandez, that she reminded him of how she was still the explorer his father always wanted him to be (Home). 32 years before Enterprises maiden Voyage construction began on the Warp 5 Research (Broken Bow.) here Zephram Cochrane gave Henry Archer a bottle of Whisky his son wouldn’t drink until just days before the founding of the Federation with Shran some 42 years later (10 years after Enterprises maiden Voyage.)(These are the Voyages.), for his 8th birthday (admiral) Johnny Archer was presented a book on Astronomy called The Cosmos A to Z (Atoz was the name of an Android Librarian later met by Kirk.) by his Father, little Johnny for the next few years would “read” this book most nights in bed before lights out, or just stare at the cover, an inside page cited the book belonged to The library of Admiral Johnny Archer, Captain Archer later had the opportunity to visit the Arachnid Nebula pictured from the cover of that volume (Fusion.). Also as an 8-year-old child, Johnny’d run wild in the Warp 5 complex oblivious to his fathers’ work and genius’ around him (Singularity.). By the age of Nine Johnny Archer was an accomplished modeler who’d finished a remote mockup of one of Zephram’s warp vessels he’d fly with his father on the beach front (Age established by the script directions to broken Bow.) just prior to his father’s illness becoming noticeably degenerative (Broken Bow) that that same preteen clone of his chief engineer later broke flying it into the side of Enterprises Shuttle Pod Bay (Similitude.). As a hobby Johnny Archer memorized everything on Zephram Cochrane including a quickly recanted drunken speech from late 2063, which highlighted his adventures with the “Borg” (Regeneration, feat Star trek VIII: First Contact.). Johnny Archer was also an Eagle Scout, he’d earned his wilderness survival badge in the New Zealand "rain forests" (of which there are currently none! And the sudden appearance of a rain forest might be simpatico with the New Zealand Penal Colony (Voy Caretaker.) Or the Pennington Institute for Writers in Wellnigton New Zealand (DS9 Explorers.)) but of his 26 merit badges, Johnny Archer never acquired an Exobiology Merit Badge(Rouge.). Henry Archer died of Clark’s Syndrome, sometime before Jonathan Archer's 13th birthday after spending two years in a diminished mental and physical state (Cold Station 12.) (Clarks Syndrome is a degenerative brain disorder, which causes pain, hallucinations, and memory/recognition loss. If Henry Archer did become irrational, it’s possible that Henry Archer’s insane ranting produced most of Captain Jonathan Archers racist attitudes towards Vulcans displayed throughout the first year of his mission of exploration rather than that Henry Archer truly was a bitter twisted old man vengeful and hateful towards the Vulcan people while infinitely proud of his own small-mindedness enough to pass that bigotry onto the next generation.). Johnny also had interests in Houdini (Shadows of P’Jem.), Billie Holiday (Stormfront I.), delved into the works of Charles Dickens like “Nicholas Nickleby”(Cold Station 12.) and Comparative religion (he’d visited the largest Gotti in Tibet (Shadows of P’Jem).) as well as a life long obsession with water polo (Vox Sola.).
Emory Dickerson, (human) creator of the Matter Transporter(Although how much of an inventor he was is really a question of if the Vulcans fudged the existence of this technology before Emory made his final breakthroughs, rather than that he was just aping something he saw the Vulcans already had in operational use.) and family friend was said to have taken on the role of Johnny’s surrogate father after Henry Archer's death. Whether this means that Emory Dickerson and Sally Archer were involved was not disclosed but there is some evidence that Sally Archer did remarry later in life (Daedalus.). “John” Archer might have had a romantic relationship with Emerson's daughter Danika but certainly thought of Emerson’s son as a brother, their families having been almost raised side by side (Daedalus.). How this fit in with the presence or absence form the barely mentioned Sally Archer is a good question. Jonathan Archer described his ninth grade teacher as Stuffy (These Are the Voyages.) but during his entire schooling was only ever sent to the Principles Office once, for passing notes, to Katie Bentley it seems, he’d asked her to the big dance which she had first refused until she’d noticed he’d became a bad boy for getting into trouble and she did go to the dance with him (The Council.). Later in his education Archer took classes in Exobiology (Fight or Flight.) despite never acquiring his Eagle Scout Merit badge in the subject. During his college years Archer played Water polo and still claims it’s “the best sport in the world” (However not clarifying “which” world.) but Archer has been known to play nine ball Pool with Tucker (These are the Voyages.). Archer competed in the North American Regionals against Princeton the year his team got to the finals (Vox Sola.). Although future history records that Starfleet Academy wasn’t erected until 2161 (TNG: First Duty.), despite that deceased 26 year Ensign O’Malley killed in the expanse during the Xindi expedition had a mounted Certificate from Starfleet Academy on her bedside table in her quarters (Early 2154. Stormfront II.), Archer may have still attended “the” Starfleet Academy (built now earlier because of changes to the time line?), or “a” Starfleet Academy operating out of an earlier site and campus or not at all since he is significantly older than Ensign O’Malley(Deceased). Archer must have taken the civil servant tests to qualify for an Ambassadorial position since Tucker once referred to him as a “Trained diplomat” (A Night in Sickbay.) perhaps at Starfleet Academy or “Flight School” (Which actually exists (www.tradewindsaviation.com/)in the real world.)? Archer claims he had a conversation with his father before going away for Flight Training where his father had a simple inspirational speech of “Don’t fail” despite Henry having died more than a decade earlier (Daedalus.). Archer may have been talking about some replacement husband of his mother, or simply he “invents” inspirational speeches to coerce excellence and loyalty through lies and trickery.
Jonathan Archer met Margaret Mullin at the age of 24 and proposed Marriage to her the night before he graduated Flight School outside his apartment on Westgate Avenue, San Francisco. She declined refusing to become a Starfleet widow (Twilight.). Though one would wonder how there was a thriving population of Starfleet Widows when mankind was still bound to its single solar system by Vulcan edict(O, the job occupies more time than the marriage. Got it.)? Archer got fall-down-drunk in a campus pub called the 602 club (A bar near enough SFC that Fly boys frequent it enough that both Reed and tucker thought they were going to marry the patron Ruby years before meeting one another still in use some 200 years later.) the day his girl friend Caroline left him, moving to New Berlin (First Flight.) (New Berlin is a Luna Colony large enough to be seen from the Earth first mentioned in Star Trek VIII: First Contact.). For sometime during the 2240’s Archer pursued a relationship with another Starfleet Officer: the extraordinarily attractive Erica Hernandez, but discontinued the affair after he was promoted to Captain (Home.). A former girlfriend’s mother, possibly either Caroline, Erica or Margaret, had a beagle(Like Snoopy.) that Archer was crazy about; he kept in touch with “whichevers” mother after he’d broken up with the girlfriend. Maybe he had something on the side with the Mother? The unnamed beagle had a litter of four and Jonathan was given the puppy named Porthos. Archer was raised with Dogs and can't remember being without one, during a nightmare (A Night In Sickbay.) Jonathan buried his pooch Porthos next to the graves of possibly two of his former pets, one was called Goldie and the other Duffy (2132-2145.). Porthos has gas problems from eating too much cheese. Considering Archer continues to feed cheese to his fluctuating pooch he must adore the smell despite his first Officer’s incredibly sensitive nose. Archer claims that he never had the opportunity to make a family because he was away from home a lot (Stratagem.) . Again you would have to wonder where he was considering how quickly it is to get from one side of the solar system to the other after making such a bold comment?
Commander Jonathan Archer, 8 years before Enterprises maiden Voyage, was involved in humanities continued efforts to exceed the Warp 2 barrier using a version of his fathers Engine lodged into a prototype test-shuttle in the company of pilots like Duvall, Robinson and Gardner (First Flight.). Archer also met an engineer on the project named Charles Tucker III, they quickly became fast friends (Unexpected.) until one of them many many years later died like an idiot. It was regarded by Archer and others that whichsoever crashtest dummy “broke” Warp Two, that that rocket monkey was going to Captain the Star Ship this enterprise was leading towards the creation of (ironically named Enterprise.). Cmdr. Robinson heckled Archer that he was too determined, with his eye so on the prize he was sacrificing other qualities review boards really jones over, attributes and attitudes like grit, balls and unpredictability. After Robinson unfortunately exploded a prototype shuttle, the Vulcan oversight of humanities interest in joining the galactic community headed by Ambassador Soval, whom young Johnny Archer had called Ambassador Pointy, since before his fathers death, who was also technically a family friend of the Archers, shut down the Warp 5 program (First Flight.) suggesting 20 years of study on the matter would be advisable before Man tries leaving their home system again. In a child like stunt fit, Archer and Robinson stole the last remaining test shuttle after their new acquaintance Lieutenant Charles Tucker III polished Henry Archers design into working order proving that humans could build a decent engine that wasn't going to blow up and cause an interstellar incident which the Vulcans would be accountable for if they dared allow Humanity into deep space (Which happened anyway in Shockwave I, and then didn’t.). These thieves managed to maintain Warp 2.5 as Vulcan and human Authorities tried to hem them in for being dastard criminals. Archer was grounded for three months and the Vulcans ran simulations for 8 months before Commander Duval broke the Warp three Barrier (First Flight.). Jonathan Archer is prematurely Grey and began dying his hair before Enterprise’s maiden Voyage, although we’re not sure when this habit started, it’s of note that through out the first year of his mission of exploration the man was frosted predominately “blonde” an appearance which later receded, and in an alternate Future where Archer lost the ability to create new long term memories and his general care was left in the hands of a Romulan spy named T’Pol, Jonathan was left in a state of complete grayness quick enough after he lost the faculties the maintain his general hair-care (Twilight.), although it was suggested that he may have been in a sexual relationship with T’Pol at that future time by Phlox and it might have been a look she found more attractive and less socially stigmatic since Archer was barely more than half her age that she must have “felt” a dirt letchering cradle robber before you even enter the certainly that she was sexually abusing someone completely mentally handicapped.
Six years before Enterprises maiden Voyage Archer saved Trips life (Unexpected.) during their EVA training together on the surface of Titan where Trip suffered nitrogen poisoning and became so frightened, he irrationally felt compelled to remove his head gear, but followed Archers calming orders not to. Archer was a guest aboard the Vulcan Namora Class Starship Erol under “Captain Tok” studying a dark matter nebula about this time too, he helped set up a graviton telescope and was very impressed with the Vulcan AV suits claiming they’re like miniature Star Ships (Coldfront.). Archer and Tucker soon thereafter spent two weeks desert survival training in Alice Springs, Australia consuming nothing but snakes and recycled sweat (Desert Crossing). Afterwhich they became involved in a somehow foolish and embarrassing poker game at Jupiter station (Rogue Planet.). Archer and Tucker spent so much time together they even developed a shorthand and Trip even taught Archer how to Scuba dive off the coast of Florida (These are the Voyages.). Jonathan lived in San Francisco most of his life and kept an Apartment there, Archer found the food at the space dock cafeteria inedible (Shockwave I.), but he’s a great fan of Chinese Food (Broken Bow), his favorite restaurant serves a delightful Turtle Soup (Azati Prime.). Commander Jonathan Archer wasn’t selected to be Enterprises Captain till 6 months before Enterprises Maiden Launch (which must have been when he broke off relations with Hernandez.) after being heavily involved with the testing of the engine for the previous 6 years (First Flight.) but Ambassador Soval continued to officially insist that Captain Gardner would have been better for the Captaincy aboard Enterprise (Broken Bow) probably because Soval still thought of Archer as a child calling him names behind his back. Archer had some verbal arguments with Captain Jeffries who was in charge of loading Enterprise down with weapons, yelping that he didn’t want to be in charge of a gunship while he’s trying to peacefully make first contact with new species (Home.), six months later into their mission of exploration after being strafed by angry aliens for no reason Archer ordered the ship to turn back to Jupiter Station to install Phase Cannons (Silent Enemy.) the ships specs allotted for, which Archer managed to leave Earth Space without Jeffries bolting into Enterprises gun ports, so almost immediately and in retrospect years later Archer deemed every weapon he had was necessary and he should have had more (Home.), but Archer was feeling despondent and bitter at the time after fighting a war single handedly, the emotional brunt of which was cured mostly soon after a healthy serving of middle-aged sleeping-bag sex with Erica Hernandez. The First rumblings of the xenophobic isolationist group Terra Prime were seen about this time protesting the construction of Enterprise (Terra Prime.)
One night before Enterprise’s premature maiden voyage, while she was receiving a final spit polish and the World Government fomented finally putting all their ducks in a row (TNG: Attached. No, Australia wasn’t a holdout. That was just a hypothetical.), Jonathan Archer from over a year into the future was transpositioned briefly with the temporal identity of this (then) present-days “self” while taking a meeting with Captain Daniels, an inept Time Agent from the 31st century playing fast and lose with reality because shit was happening above his paygrade even though he was the last man standing. They spent their playdate teaching Archer how to create a scanning device capable penetrating Suliban cloaking technology (Shockwave I.) not that most anyone knew what a cloak was back then or Kirk wouldn’t have found the device useful a hundred years later or Archer himself in any of his other adventures including cloaked ships and cloaked moon sized space deforming spheres further down the time stream (Just about most all of Season 3.). The present day Archer the night before Enterprise maiden Voyage was not aware of the switchout and time continued on seemingly unaltered.
Hours before Enterprises premature maiden Voyage, a Klingon courier named Klaang carrying evidence incriminating Suliban agents of agitating several Klingon houses towards a messy Civil War, had been bared down to a corn field in Broken Bow Oklahoma by the Suliban Cabal. After dispatching two Soldiers by exploding a corn silo with a powerful hand weapon, Klaang was in turn shot by a disgruntled yokel farmer and delivered to Starfleet. These happenings came to the ear of Captain Archer who belligerently intruded on a high level discussion between Starfleet Admiral Forrest and Vulcan Ambassador to Earth Soval aside the Klingon’s “deathbed” in a Starfleet hospital under the care of a Denobulan Doctor called Phlox, a participant in the interspecies medical exchange. It is here while posturing that Jonathan Archer meets T’Pol who seems anything but impressed. Ambassador Soval tires to explain that the Vulcans were told to take point by the Klingon Government, who wanted the “body” returned to Qo’noS with no messing about. Archer didn’t understand that if Klaang was been denied medical treatment and allowed to die, first it assured the giant an honorable death, and second that the Klingon Government who had hidden the “message” inside Klaang’s blood would receive all the data they needed without causing a Suliban reaction which if it had bothered to go after Klaangs corpse (Klingon death rites claim that the body is a worthless shell, the High Council only wanted his blood.) might have been less effective against a powerful and quick Vulcan Vessel ferrying Klaangs remains to Qo’noS. Archer would not tolerate the thought of an unnecessary death (No matter the moral structure of whatever alien religion was in play because human morality is superior.), and dictated despite the wishes of the Klingon Government and probably Klaang that the DNR order would be ignored. Archer volunteered his ship “Enterprise” for the fetch errand a week before she was due to begin its “Mission of Exploration” stating he’ll be ready to leave in 12 hours despite key systems being unemplaced or as yet online and some crew positions still vacant that among some quick decisions Archer drafted the Denobulan standing next to him without looking over his resume in the slightest(Which lead to some problems with relative ethics down the line.). No one knew or cared that poor Klaang and his family would be dishonored for ten generations. Admiral Forest was a little put out by Archer’s terrible manners in front of his Vulcan(ROMULAN!) masters but had probably been looking for a diplomatic way to express the same sentiment for hours.
Despite that Qo’noS was only four days away (At “Warp 4”. Enterprise was the only a Warp 5 vessel on paper.), Archer was forced to briefly take the Vulcan (Romulan Spy!) T’Pol for his Science Officer in exchange for directions to this far away place (obviously Enterprises Engine was unique and 4 warp factors faster than anything else in Starfleet or the Boomer fleet, so to any other ship Qo’noS was months or years journey away and not a few days.) confronting his overt (inherited) blaring racism at a head that he had to tolerate this green blooded emotionless stick of a woman, in exchange for Vulcan star charts (And near enough their entire database about any world they might encounter for years in any direction, even Romulans.) to plot a course towards even such a marginally pitiful distance, the housebound equivalent of being surprised to find a mailbox in your front yard, and a footpath beyond that. Archer quickly outlined his distrust of T’Pol’s people and her government and that if she was there to be a spy for the Central Command, she’d get her comeuppance. En route the Suliban Cabal kidnapped Klaang. They left an invisible a path to Rigel, which Archer could only follow by sulking until subcommander T’Pol upgraded Enterprises puny sensors. On Rigel, Archer made-out with a shape changing Suliban expatriate who explained the Suliban were taking orders from the distant future and that it was she that had given Klaang proof that the Suliban were trying to start a Klingon Civil War, it’s possible at this point, while macking with Archer that she may have also “dosed” Archer too with whatever genetic markers she had encoded the information into Klaang with as well, but it never came up. As the gorgeous Suliban explained what sort of mess Archer had gotten himself into, Jonathan completely blanked at the term “Temporal Cold War" and despite soon coming into direct conflict with the head of the Cabal "Silik" and his futuristic boss man "Future Guy" in a “temporal chamber” in which time worked badly hiccupping with future echoes, Archer, as well as the human and Vulcan Governments that Archer reported to, didn't seem to have any interest in putting a stop to any meddling of their timeline by upstream adgitatants and so still perused their lives as if they weren't plaything's to the Future Guy's 29th century manipulative self interest as well as other factions in the Temporal Cold War shaping the 22nd century (Broken Bow.)… Archer seemed unconcerned that he was a puppet being manipulated by cosmic blowhards playing craps with reality. Then again it's entirely altogether possible that Archer never told anyone who couldn't be trusted about what was going on and it’s just as possible that the higher ups on Earth and/or Vulcan were in the pocket of futurists with their own agendas, or simply thought Archer was on weed. Archer’s blasé attitude about time travel continued on even after his Yeomen (Captain Daniels.) serving him nosh each night since they left drydock unveiled his true nature as a Temporal Agent with his own Agenda and aspersions about how the future should come about and how Archer should be manipulated and lead to achieve which goals (Cold Front.). After more explosions and killing, Archer brang Klaang before the Klingon High Council diffusing a brooding Klingon Civil War with information stored in Klaang’s blood that everything could be blamed on an insurgency. The Klingon Chancellor grunts some threats in gratitude as only a Klingon can. Later Archer's Vulcan (Romulan) Science Officer Subcommander T'Pol refabricated those threats to be understood as the exact opposite of the original feelings behind those comments, that the Chancellor thought of Archer as his “brother” while kindly asking a Klingon Captain not kill them all (Unexpected.). For some reason Archer decided to allow the Vulcan (ROMULAN!!!!) to stay aboard his ship, who for some other equally inexplicable reason wanted to despite the unbearable stench of humanity and cheese loaded Dog, and Enterprise was shortly thereafter given word from Earth that their mission of Exploration was a go.
Archer spent the first two weeks in deep space looking for a squeak in his quarters and was still complaining about it a year later, after Enterprise was damaged in a Romulan Minefield (Deadstop.), he still didn’t know how long it would take to arm a torpedo or prep a shuttle (Fight or Flight.(There are actually 3 basic instincts and that third one also begins with an “F”.). In his first First Contact scenario, Archer foolhardily sent the co-ordinates to Earth to an unknown species who turned out to be organ harvesters (Fight or flight.). A few weeks later Archer allows some of his crewmen to go camping on a planet, which is later be named after him, with no “noticeable” life. The planet’s atmosphere was writhing with psychotropic compounds, which quickly drove the happy campers into psychotic paranoid rages, turning on each other and insects with energy weapons. There was then also a transporter accident when Archer tried to recover a crewman from a gale which grounded the shuttle, the crewman had his matter stream spliced with mud and bark and leaves and other particulate matter from the storm and died soon after from a build up of the psychotropics in his blood work (Brave New World.). Weeks later a cloaked Zirillian vessel riding in Enterprises wake borrowing power, disrupting Enterprises systems was unmasked. Commander Tucker was sent over to help with repairs who was then accidentally impregnated. It took some weeks to find the Zirillians who were then “borrowing” power off a Klingon warship, Archer revealed the parasitic existence of the Zirillians feeding off the Klingons, which started the Klingons bellowing orders to execute the Zirillian Crew, which would have weighed on Archers conscience and should have taught him another lesson about how to talk with Klingons, but it all worked out after Archer paid off the Klingons with Zirillian Holography technology without asking the Zirillians if it was against their beliefs to hand over potentially dangerous technology to an actually dangerous species just like Janeway would do with the Hirogen 200 years later leading to disastrous consequences (Voy: The Killing Game/Flesh and Blood.). One might wonder if Archer might have volunteered weapons technology if the Klingons weren’t appeased by the holography technology to save all their lives if the Klingons had been just a little angrier?
Barely a month into their mission of exploration Archer was tempted to use force against a misplaced colony of humans who had reverted to barbarism after surviving the crux of disastrous ecological contamination, as the Vulcan (ROMULAN!) Science Officer suggested using “Stun Grenades” to incapacitate, forcefully relocate and reeducate the humans of Terra Nova rather than trying to accept them for who they were. Captain Archer said something very defining in this moment “We don’t deserve to be out here if we can’t even get along with our own people.” Instead of force, Archer resorted to sheer friendliness to communicate with the Novan humans, he’s a uniter, not a divider (Terra Nova.), relocating the colony to a safe harbor on the southern continent away from the deadly fallout of a radioactive comet strike of decades earlier, where their barbarous society might thrive. Weeks later Enterprise visits the Vulcan Temple at P’Jem under siege by Andorian soldiers claiming the temple is a diabolical secret listening post near the edge of Andorian Space peering into their private ongoings. Archer was in turn also captured and beaten but escaped, discovering the ancient temple was indeed a diabolical secret listening post, after gaining the upper hand over his jailers with the truth all lighted, in the name of fair play, Archer called a truce with the Andorians handing oven the corroborating evidence that Vulcans WERE spying on the Andorians, over to the Andorian Commander Shran, allowing the Andorian Commandos egress (The Andorian Incident.). Fallout from these actions and T’Pol’s compliance with Archer’s decision would plague the Vuclan till the fall of her Romulan backed government almost 4 years later, even forcing her mother to retire early from her teaching position at the Vulcan Science Academy (Home.). Soon after, Archer discovered a huge comet that was not in the all-knowing Vulcan Database. Archer was dismayed to find a Vulcan ship shadowing Enterprise patronistically looking after his Mission of Exploration as if Archer was a retarded child (“As if” as if!). Archer believing he’s devious and subtle invited the Vulcan Captain of the warding vessel, Vanek, to dinner aboard Enterprise… And hilarity ensured. Hours later after being put in his place Archer was furious to find that his Science Officer was after all a two faced Spy, sending and receiving secret messages from the Vulcan ship. This drove Archer’s balls red with the maddening but it all turned out to be a personal matter about Subcommander T’Pol’s impending waylaid arranged marriage but Archer was never told the specifics, just that Subcommander T’Pol’s definition of a private life is guarded. Eventually after a shuttle accident Archer learns a little humility by asking for help from the Captain Vanek to save his crewmen from a shuttle accident no the surface of the comet (Breaking the Ice.), however he only responded when T’Pol used reverse psychology to suggest that Captain Vanek was laughing at his stubborn impotent human sense of unwarranted inflated independence.
Next Archer came across a preindustrial world being surreptitiously mined by secretive advanced aliens for valuable ore, but “waste” was poisoning the indigenous unwitting population. Although the Prime Directive did not yet exist (Not till 2168(TOS A Piece of the Action.) the Vulcans had similar theories which were forced on Archer throughout his early missions by he sickly thin Sub Commander T'Pol, however Archer was compelled to reveal his alien nature to a plucky Apothecary who could be trusted not to be an idiot who he liked kissing. Archer kicked the baddies offworld and cleaned up the environmental damage and stricken casualties (Civilization.). Shortly thereafter Enterprise answered a distress call from some Boomers who claimed they didn’t need any help. What they didn’t tell Archer is that after they were attacked by Norsican pirates, and they’d taken a prisoner who they were torturing the poor SOB for the location of his home base to blow it the hell up. Their plan goes pearshaped becoming quickly surrounded and outgunned. Enterprise intrudes on the one up man ship threatening Manifest Destiny that there will be lots and lots of NX Class starships in this region of space in the years to come (less than 10 actually before the fleet is mothballed and replaced by something faster we’re not privy to the specs of, perhaps the Daedalus class? The Daedalus Class Starship Essex was destroyed in 2167(TNG Powerplay.). This class of ship was retired in 2196.) that making war with Humanity was a very bad idea and the a new invigorated stipulation to good conduct and the letter of the law would be wise as if Archer was part of some huge Fleet of Star Ships capable of civilizing the final frontier by garrisoning every hive of scum and villainy hereabouts (Fortunate Son). AS IF!?
Shortly, leader of the Suliban Cabal, Silik disguised as a monk boarded Enterprises, at Archer’s invitation, to observe a religious exploding deca-annually space thingy go spurty from Enterprise’s Observation Deck along with a gaggle of real devotees, and secretly saved Enterprise from blowing up when the space thingy hiccupped refiggiting time to not starting a predestined cascade boom throughout Enterprise. Because Enterprise didn’t explode, a confused and worried Yeoman “Daniels" revealed to Archer that he was really a 31st century time cop there to record for the history books the final days aboard Enterprise before her destruction. This would obviously mean that from "Daniels" original timeline which would soon have collapsed because Archer now survived this accident when he never ever used to have as part of Daniels recorded history. Form this moment onward all of Daniels certainty about what history looked like and what the future “looked” like IS twaddle, but some how "Daniels " convinces Archer to help him hunt down and nut Silik, the fellow who saved Archer from certain death despite putting time on its ear so that Archer would live rather than not, creating an entirely new history in which Daniels enemies would prosper, not that Daniels would ever prove that he worked for the good guys or even knew what he was doing. Silik escaped after killing Daniels. “Yeoman” (Captain) Daniels crew quarters were sealed off because Archer didn't want to think about the seductive advanced technology and booby traps protecting Daniels seductive advanced technology might still be hidden somewhere in there which could be used to contaminate the timeline further (Coldfront.) any worse than Enterprise and it’s crew not being annihilated in by “the great plume”.
A few weeks later Enterprise was bitchslapped so bad that Captain Archer finally accepted he’d left Earth before they were ready exactly like everyone had been continuously telling him for the past 6 months. Archer elects to return to Jupiter Station to have Enterprises missing phase cannons mounted. On the way home Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Reid did their best to mount a Phase Cannon they had in storage themselves which is fortunate since the aliens that had owned Enterprise did return to stake a claim on these butt monkeys they could effortlessly push around like high school thugs after milk money. After a tenuous victory Archer decides that his crew is super cool and it’s not yet time to say die, reversing his orders they continue their Mission of Exploration (Silent Enemy.). Later Enterprise comes across a sublight vessel inching its way out of its home system on the off chance they’ll run across an advanced benevolent species with the technology to understand and fix up a plague ravaging their people. The plague turns out to be natural genetic degradation as if Mother Nature quit on these folks, which Phlox explains to Archer “must be” to make way for the other more viable sentient culture living on the same planet who were being mothered and stifled by the Dominant but running down species. They beg Archer to hand over the secrets of Warp Drive so that they can go out and search for a cure at a better pace before they’re all dead but that’s not a responsibility that Archer believes he can weather or a burden the placing of on the totality of humanity, as it would take generations to guide these people toward the sensible use, creation and maintenance of Warp technology, which pops a flash bulb above Archer’s head to strobe off as he realizes the Vulcans are still going about that exact same duty after a hundred years, so how different is that from a great grandmother in her mid 30’s? Archer finally starts to understand why the Vulcans had been standing on man’s cape for the last century. After Phlox hands over the complete cure to the genetic degradation, the Starship Captain is even further put on the spot, having to decide which race has the right to survive over the other because it’s totally Thunderdome, Jonathan Archer eventually decides that it’s all too big for his handsome shoulders and orders Phlox to water down the cure into a stop gap that will retard the “plagues” effects for maybe ten years but no longer to allow both species on the planet a fighting chance for dominance and survival like roosters cockfighting in jello (Dear Doctor.).
It was then that the Andorians destroyed the (Vulcan listening post) Temple at P’Jem overtly and public ally from orbit. Further complicating T’Pol’s life that she’s ordered to stand down and return to Vulcan for a dressing down (Maxim?). Archer and T’Pol are taken prisoner on Coridan (Later to be seen as a hot talking point between Federation Ambassadors in TOS: Journey to Babel.) by rebels to the puppet Vulcan government after unwittingly walking into the middle of a very quiet Civil War. The odd couple were eventually rescued by Commander Shran of the Andorian Imperial Guard on his own commando mission to destabilize the Vulcan puppet government of Coridan (Shadows of P’Jem.). This began a merciless quid pro quo of favors and debts between Archer and Shran that would go on for years after both of them had been reported dead several times. Almost tripping over those events, a heavily damaged Klingon warship threatened to open fire on Archer after his crew dredged that ship out of a gas giant’s gravity well which guaranteed certain scrunching death. Archer after finally read a 1page synopsis for dummies about talking to Klingons from the Vulcan Database, accepting that Klingons wouldn’t take him seriously unless he yelled and threatened to kill them all a lot several times over, which eventually he did do so to resolve this rescue mission peacefully (Sleeping Dogs.). A week or two later, Tucker and Reid drank a bottle of Whiskey Captain Archer was saving for a special occasion while they thought they were lost in space because Archer got a ding during a parking mishap and they overreacted thinking the crew was dead (Shuttle Pod One.) Not much later Enterprise came across a commune of hippy Vulcans experimenting with emotion (Something T’Pol would do later with drugs when she seduced Tucker during one of her many benders.), studying the Arachnid Nebula (From Admiral Johnny Archer’s book on Cosmology.) in a beat up shuttle. Archer was asked to pass a message from the Vulcan High Command to one of the Hippies, which he acceded to without griping much about being their dogboybitch, but eased those resentful feelings over by kicking the shit out of another Hippy for mind raping his Science Officer who also unknowing contracted a telepathically transmitted degenerative neural disease from the encounter (Fusion.).
While Tucker was taking snap shots of Archer to mock a painting to adorn Starfleet Command, which Archer found completely embarrassing, he’s not a creature driven by vanity, despite the hair, Enterprise came across a “Rogue Planet”. Planetside Archer was eventually invited to join a hunting party after sentient emotional metamorphs that can assume the shape of anything or anyone. One the emotional metamorphs assumed the persona of L’ll Johnny Archer’s interpretation of the good fairy from “The Poem the Wander Angus” his mother used to recite to him as a child. Phlox was able to genetically modify the Emotional metamorphs “tell” so they wouldn’t be such easy prey altering the balance of power in the happy hunting ground that some of the hunters were killed and would be wary about being so brash coming back again (Rogue.) which is a complete reverse on Phlox and Archers thoughts on evolution dredged up weeks earlier (Dear Doctor.). Just weeks later Archer allows a relic on board his ship which is in truth a Trojan gas trap, that quickly incapacites all the crew allowing a cartel of Ferengi a few hours to ransack the ship for booty. Archer was eventually awakened to tell the Ferengi were the ships “safe” was hidden, here he kept all the really valuable stuff. Archer still bound and at gunpoint, starts telling a series of cunning tall tales to avoid T’Pol and perhaps other female crew being taken to the Orion Slave Markets (Which happens anyway 3 years later (Boarderland.)). With some help from his deliciously naked Chief Engineer Archer turns the tables of the Ferengi entrepreneurs evicting them from local space with a harsh warning, making these villains someone else’s problem (Acquisition.). It is to noted how completely similar the death of Trip Tucker this comical adventures remains.
Running short on supplies and spare parts, Enterprise goes into the salvage business bordering on grave robbing with plans to ransack a downed ghost ship. Archer goes boldly forward into a Scooby Doo mystery unmasking the crew of the supposed derelict as a community holograms shepherding the final two survivors these last 20 years (Oasis.). How could it have been too long after that that Archer was himself downed on a Shuttle mission for coming too close to a moon under the jurisdiction of Tandor Prime? Captain Archer and his helmboy Travis Mayweather were interned a few light years away, stocked in a camp full of Suliban looked over by the Tandorain Colonel Grat who was quite interested in what Archer knew about the Suliban Cabal and the Temporal Cold War, but Jonathan was reticent on sharing this information with someone with such bad manners. Jonathan made some racist assumptions not realizing that these Suliban were not members of Silik’s Cabal and had not even been genetically modified, just innocent civilians and children caught in the geo-politi-ideological crossfire. Archer became friendly with some of the Suliban there and spearheaded a jailbreak releasing upward of 78 Suliban from the care of the Tandorians creating something of a legend for himself almost larger than life as a great emancipator (Detained.). What became of these friendships and enemies was not drawn upon again, however exaggerated versions of stories based on this adventure traveled far and created false hope in other freedom fighters trying to chuck off the yolk of oppression (Desert Crossing.).
While bargaining with the dogmatic Kretessians, Enterprise was inadvertently boarded by an inhumanoid lifeform who bonds simpatico with every living thing it touches while growing. The Kretessians are horribly offended by Archer and his crew “eating food” in front of them, ejecting the humans from their space without explaining why they’re revolted and disgusted. Several members of the crew including Archer are slaved to a hive mind before the Kretessians can be found to hint at what’s happening and a dialogue can be opened with the lifeform, whereabouts returning the beastie to its homeworld becomes a practicality (Vox Sola.). Next Archer is ordered to again play dogboybitch for the Vulcan High Command picking up V’Las a high ranking diplomat suddenly in the middle of some scandal on the Mazerite Homeworld, which turns out to be ruse fuddling with her culpability in unwinding a huge criminal conspiracy to co-opt the Mazerite Government. This is the first time that Enterprise’s Engines make a prolonged sustained flight at warp 5 as she is chased by a heavily armed squadron of Mazerite fighters intent on “gods know what” after they shut the Vulcan up. During a debate with the ancient Vulcan Archer is forced to justify Humanities presence in the galactic community by reminding Ambassador V’Las of their one hundred years good behavior since WWIII, when she retorts that some Vulcans are still dismayed by that tussle no matter pretense in civility afterward. The Mazerites eventually overtook Enterprise, forcing it to a standstill wherein Archer starts jibing like a petrolhead asking how much faster the Mazerite Ships could book, envious of their engines and a little put out by the short comings of Enterprise. Fortunately Archer’s arrogance has been cut down over the last few years and his deminished vanity allowed him to call on help from a nearby powerful Vulcan Ship warship so the day was saved by the narrowest of margins by relying on the kindness of strangers (Fallen Hero.). After being waylaid by the past few adventures in an attempt to allot some shore leave, Enterprise finally makes orbit of the pleasure world Risa(Two Days and Two Nights.)(Risa is renowned for Sluts, sport and booze. Even people like Picard and Quark can get laid with minimum effort on Risa.), stunningly T’Pol isn’t stopped at customs for executing a Vulcan criminal from the last time she was there (The Seventh.). Archer rather than whoring, spends his time with Porthos in a beachside condo dipping his toe into a huge bound copy of “The Teachings of Surak” which T’Pol made a present of earlier in the day. His neighbor is a hot blonde Tandorian spy sent there to gain his confidence and milk information about Silik (you can milk anything with nipples), the Cabal and the Temporal Cold War. Archer sees through her trickery and pitches a hissy before going back to his book and condominium view with no further trouble (2 Days Two Nights.).
Near about the end of his fist year in space, the Suliban trick Archer into taking responsibility for blowing up a small colony, killing about 3000 people in the process, Enterprise is recalled by Earth at the advisement of the Vulcans and the Warp 5 program is mothballed along with Mans intentions to be his own Man. Six months later (Captain?) Archer is pulled backward in time to the night before Enterprises premature maiden Voyage by the 31st Century Time Cop and former Yeoman/Steward “Captain Daniels” who then taught Archer how to construct future tech capable of scanning through a Suliban Cloak and then returned Archer to a point in history hours after the disaster that destroyed the Perogan Colony. With the new scanner employed, they tracked down the Suliban ship that was really responsible for the death toll and in an exciting commando mission Archer steals incriminating files on the disaster from the Suliban Ships database. On the way to Earth to unincriminate themselves (Which should have taken months!), Enterprise is outgunned and surrounded by dozens of Suliban Cell ships demanding to take Archer prisoner or they’ll kill everyone. While trying to hand himself over to the would be kidnappers Archer is magically yanked forward to a newly demolished 31st century by Daniels who was playing fast and loose removing Archer from History without enough forthought that it all blew up in his face (Shockwave I.). Unless it was all a trick on Daniels part that he still retained total recall of his original timeline, maybe the time travel machinery he was using was temporally shielded from restructualizing temporal editing as the Earth transformed into Mad-Maxlike fractured brokedown wasteland in which the Federation was never gounded, yet any such technology that would have saved Daniels and Archer from being edited would have likely have survived which Daniels claimed hadn’t and they were both no trapped on a 31st Century Earth seemingly dead and too technologically backward to guarantee their ability to return at all while Silik in the past is fuming that Archer is cowardly hiding still aboard Enterprise contemplating blowing up Earths first and their only Warp 5 Star Ship. Somehow Archer piggy backs on a signal sent to Silik from his 29th century employer who would also be finding it difficult to exist now that Archer was not destined to be in the past any more, beats Silik up and makes his way to Earth to clear Enterprise of all charges (Shockwave II). Despite living out 6 months in a redundant time line, Archer doesn’t seem to take advantage of any future history he may have been aware of not that exploring deep space would be conducive to insider trading charges when all his other experiences were quite earthbound.
A year after Enterprises premature maiden voyage, Archer and Tucker sit down with their Science Officer T’Pol to congratulate her for sticking it out. She gets so ratassed drunk as to make up tall stories about Vulcans running around in Earth’s 1950s before having to steady herself with both hands to get out of a seated position (Carbon Creek.). A week later Enterprise runs afoul of a Romulan Minefield bonding to a live contact-mine, which staples Lieutenant Reid to the hull in the abortive process of tentatively unpriming the bomb. Archer himself ends up on the hull too, helping to defuse the explosive while a Romulan Warbird cloaks and delcloaks issuing threats about who is the major power in this region of space. Despite Reed exclaiming that a real Captain capable of making the tough decisions would just leave him, Archer explained that that wasn’t who he was and then rode a huge section of the hull like a surfboard on the concussion wave as the mine exploded beside them (Minefield.). Hours later looking over the damage to his ship Archer is wise enough to realize he needs help. They send out a general distress signal but he’s been around the block enough by now to know not to look so weak as to invite pilot fish for a nibble. A passing Starship offers directions to a nearby repair station which kidnaps and replaces Travis Mayweather with a clone killed in a staged accident which enrages Captain Archer into eventually destroying the repair station and handily reacquiring his lost helmboy in the process after the ploy comes to light (Deadstop.). Just a little later Archer again offends the Kretessians (he offended them previously in Vox Sola.) when his dog Porthos pissed on some religiously significant tree’s which karmically poison the beagle who spends a night in sick bay being spliced with a lizard for spare body parts. Archer had been negotiating for new plasma injectors (Lorien believed his father Trip could just make them out of nothing.) but was unwilling to apologize to the people that were in the process of murdering his pet through a degree of neglect while trying to work out some sexual hunger he was feeling for Subcommander T’Pol. Eventually he realized that getting the engine part was more important than feeding his ego, so found a chainsaw painted himself up like an Indian Brave and did what was asked of him before a stacked cheering auditorium and accordingly received his engine part (and some spares. Spares! Having also returned to earth and been refit, what was Lorien’s problem?) with the extreme gratitude of the Kretessians for going through the motions (A night in Sickbay.) and being a good sport, who would eventually be founding members of the Coalition of Planets because they thought Archer was simply smashing(Terra Prime.) .
Shortly thereafter Archer bolstered a frontier community against Klingon Warlords (scrap merchants.) without revealing his presence citing how it’s better to teach someone to fish, while doing just about everything to save the day and catch the fish. No good deed goes unpunished as Archer’s crew contracted space cooties here that would take some weeks to reveal itself (Marauders.). Not long after that, the Vulcan high command sent T’Pol out to capture a Vulcan spy gone native these last 20 years, for some reason she’d decided to take Archer with her for back up, maybe because she trusts him, which is lucky since she “wigged-out” halfway through and he’d had to act as her moral compass telling T’Pol to stop thinking bout moral ambiguity, follow orders and shoot the bad guy (The Seventh.). Moving along, unmasked as potentially malevolent aliens lurking about on a prewarp world trying to recover misplaced advanced Human technology Lieutenant Reed had lost on an earlier visit, Archer creates a series of lies explaining that his technology and appearance is the result of the enemies of these people interrogating him are preparing to fight a war using magic like energy weapons, invisible spaceships and genetically engineered soldiers capable of surviving effortlessly inside lethal gas attacks totally changing the shape of an already volatile cold war. Archer is bitterly disdained to admit that the story made him seem to be like a Suliban Terrorist rather than a valiant explorer (Communicator.). Eventually Enterprise encountered a radiation phenomena that made the Crew all go (more) insane, they became fetishists focused to a fine point on a differing variety of singular matters to the expense of all reason, Archer was trying to write a preface for a novel about his father, a subject he’s usually in orbit of anyway. After everyone collapsed from the latter stages of radiation sickness except for T’Pol who was slightly immune to the event (But fortunately singularly focused on the problem fracking them by the problem fracking them.), she chose to revive a still half insane Archer to steer the ship clear of the radiation phenomena by having a shower with him (unlike the shower she would later share with Trip Tucker.), and they saved the day because she trusts him to be a hero even when he is half asleep (Singularity.).
2 years into their mission of exploration, Archer and most of his crew were still skittish about using the transporter and would only do so under direct orders from Archer (Vanishing point.). Almost immediately after that Enterprise runs afoul of two kidnappers holding a really really beautiful princess in cold storage, the kidnappers were so ballsly as to request of Enterprise some general maintenance on the stasis pod they had their gorgeous hostage locked down inside while they had dinner with Captain Archer and the Romulan Spy T’Pol. Regardless, when the shit hit the fan, the two diner guests managed to fight their way through all manner of security, incapacitate Enterprise and scarper scot-free. It took Archer a while to get his underroos unclipped from his ears but it all worked out in the end because Tucker is action-man (Precious cargo.). Some weeks later Enterprise is exploring a planet when some campers warn them that a stellar storm front is hours away from boiling the skin off every living thing it touches and Enterprise should clock warp 7 immediately if they should think about surviving, which is unfortunately beyond Enterprises capabilities. Commander Tucker eventually proscribes that the crew, all 80 somewhat, camper guests and Phloxes menagerie, can hide in the heavily shielded warp nacel catwalks. Enterprise is rollicking in the storm for several days before she’s boarded by privateers intent on conscripting Enterprise to their militia coincidentally the same species as the campers sharing the Catwalk with Archer who admit that it’s not a coincidence and that they lied to Archer. They are in fact deserters being hunted down for conscientious objection to serving in an unjust Army of sorts. Archer managed to trick the garrison setting up shop on his ship that he was ready to destroy Enterprise rather than let it fall into Enemy hands by ordering Mayweather to throw the ship at a more volatile section of the neurotic storm forcing a bad guy evacuation (Catwalk.).
A little later Archer lost Tucker among a plane of 70 odd moons after his shuttle was shut down and the environment of his crash site dampened most technology nixing a distress signal. During the rescue mission Archer made friendly overtures with the mother ship of the shuttle that shot down Tuckers shuttle, who’re currently in the middle of a bloody minded cold war with the Vulcans. After a successful recovery of both pilots T’Pol claims that Archer made greater strides towards a friendship with these people in one day than the Vulcans had in a century (Dawn.). Some weeks later Archer is miffed to find that his doctor had been conspiring to leave him in the dark about his Science Officer having a degenerative mental disease which would have raised parallel’s for Archer to the last years of his fathers life babbling like a madman swearing blue bloody murder about the Vulcans conspiring against him to destroy his engine, when Vulcan Officials from an interspecies medical conference Phlox and by extension Enterprise was attending, tell Archer of Phloxes duplicitous hamfisted attempts to deceive them into unhinging delicate private medical research into Pa’nar Syndrome, a socially unclean disease only contracted by disreputable outcasts practicing lurid telepathic interemotional mingling of which they have evidence that T’Pol is afflicted and therefore morally unequipped to represent Vulcan as an officer of the High Command. There’s a trial to determine if T’Pol is a dirty girl unworthy of her rank and status in Vulcan Culture, Archer argues for her side vehemently even though he’d at first forgotten that she’d been raped mid last year as to when she contracted this Pa’Nar Syndrome… But eventually the rape comes to light and she’s labeled a victim so leniency was meted out for this case (Stigma.). Despite Jonathan’s outrage, Phlox still kept mum later when T’Pol was off her nut on a drug addled crazed Trillium roller coaster ride while being in charge of the ship during combat situations (Azati Prime.).
In what Tucker described as Enterprises first Diplomatic Mission, Commander Shran heading a commando mission to retake a contested world intersecting the boarders of Andorian and Vulcan Space, holding several Vulcan’s hostage requested third party mediation from Captain Jonathan Archer from Ambassador Soval who’s jaw must have dropped to the flaw. Upon arriving Archer was treated with the usual disdain from this Vulcan but kept his cool and kept his word with both sides of the conflict and set the pace for months of peaceful diplomatic negotiations keeping his word to both sides of the conflict no matter who tried to back stab whom (Ceasefire.). Just a little while later Enterprise found a timeship from somewhen in the future crewed by a Human/Vulcan hybrid and then had both the Suliban and the Tholians arrived to fight over possession of it. Without really knowing who the timeship belonged to, Archer activates the timeships temporal transponder begging someone to collect their property before the Suliban and Tholians finish killing each other to see who gets to take possession of Enterprise and the Timeship. Fortunately the futurists, whoever they were shook up the situation and allowed Enterprise to escape unsinged (Futuretense.). It wasn’t long before Archer was again mistaken for a baddie and shipped off to another prison colony. Unfortunately before the mistake could be corrected, a maniac in charge of a prison break threatens to space everyone to cover his escape. Archer cunningly manages to create a new roguish personality and become a useful addition to gang of thugs trying to avoid incarceration and through some guile and misdirection retakes the ship in Time for Reed and his big blokes with guns to storm the prison ship with nothing much to do. After a formal apology form the government, Archer is afforded the opportunity to make a pious speech underpinning how many more people have been unjustly imprisoned by the incompetent legal system at work here (Canamar.)?
Weeks later Enterprise is eaten by a huge space ship filled full of noncorporeal otherdimensional beings who transposition their essence with the souls of Enterprises crew taking their bodies on joyrides perhaps permanently as their non corporeal world comes closer to an imminent end. Despite initial protests from the aliens that everything is innocent Archer is furious that his weapons and engines are out of order while inside the aliens mammoth vessel and continuously bellows orders to get everything fixed and vamoose since of late Archer has finally been building up some trust issues after being burnt continuously. Archer orders anyone acting unusually to be remanded to Quarters. They get out of the belly of the beast, but there’s some shooting (The Crossing.) It wasn’t long before Archer was again mistaken for a baddie and shipped off to another prison colony. This time it was the Klingons incarcerating Captain Archer for allowing safe passage to refugees from a Klingon protectorate fleeing a little oppression, where upon Archer was sentenced to life imprisonment in the dilithium mines on Rua Penthe (The same fate as will be exacted on Kirk and McCoy in a hundred and 40 years (Star Trek XI The Undiscovered Country.).) for his charity, but his crew bribed court officials to have Archer’s paperwork lost in the shuffle and an escape from the mines was semi legally sanctioned after a few character building days mining dilithium (Judgment.). A little later Archer was given the opportunity to spend a few days flying through the photosphere of a sun by a friendly Narn (R.I.P.) in a tricked out bathysphere. When Archer returned from his working holiday, Jonathan found that any chance of good relations between their two races had been bollocksed by his Chief Engineer teaching one of their sexslaves how to read, about the existence of personal liberty, movies and suggesting asylum is a good idea. Archer is screaming at Tucker that he should know better than to judge and interfere in the social politics of an alien race they know next to nothing about, Tucker claims he was following Archers example, which raises Archers hackles to the roof because he forgetfully can’t think of a single example to prove that assertion is true. After the sexslave is returned, the point becomes moot because the sexslave commits suicide rather than return to a life of a fetus-fertilizing pincushion. Tucker is forced to feel guilty about that too (Congenitor.).
A little down the road Civilian Scientists under the auspices of Starfleet found wreckage from the Borg Sphere Picard downed in 2063 (Star Trek VIII: First Contact.) in the Arctic Circle, wittingly but unfortunately then revived two drones that formed a collective assimilating any technology and biology they came into contact with. These Borg set a course for the Delta Quadrant to upgrade the home front with future tech. Archer was asked to intercept the “Borg Shuttle” and unfortunately some of his crew were taken for drones because Archer underestimated Borg resolve at first. Archer finally accepted he had to deliver a killing blow because it was probably impossible to recover the assimilated drones and killed everyone jetting for Borg Space (Regeneration.). Moving along, Archer discovered a Dark Matter Nebula, and named it the Robinson Nebula after Captain A.E Robinson who provoked Archer into stealing a prototype NX Shuttle 9 years earlier to resuscitate the Vulcan kyboshed Warp Five Program (First Flight). Some weeks later looking for shore leave Archer accepts vacationing advice from a good tempered Tellerite, expert on a seemingly uninhabited planet they’re both in orbit of. Two feet past the air lock and the Tellerite starts thumping and shooting people, nabs Archer skips back into his shuttle, incapacitates Enterprise with a glancing blow from his disrupters, then heads off with enough forethought to lay a false trail leaving the Humans on his tail dumbstruck and no where near his tail. The Tellerite was collecting a bounty on Archer for escaping the Klingon Penal Colony some weeks earlier sponsored by the Duras family. Archer painted a hard luck story where upon he was a hero and not some villain, it barely worked. Duras reneged, only paying a third the promised purse. A small conspiracy later Archer was handed over to Duras with the keys to his handcuffs on hand, slipping out of Duras’ care easily and getting back to Enterprise (Bounty.).
(An
