TOS Caption Contest #147: Woman Troubles
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Noel: Don't be so sad that you couldn't get it up. Just get Dr. McCoy to give you some viagra and we can try again later.
Spock: Miss Uhrura, having an intimate relationship with you is a lot like riding a moped. It's fun until someone sees you.
Godzilla: "My son tells me you've been bullying him!"
*** *** ***
Sincerely,
Bill
epic!
Uhura: "S**t, Spock, I thought you had a vasectomy."
Spock: "Miss Uhura, I thought you were on the Pill."
McCoy: "Gentlemen, we're out of bingo cards. What should I do?"
Spock: "Tell the young lady we run these games every second Tuesday and every fourth Wednesday and she should come earlier next time."
Kirk (to himself): "OK, these guys aren't the two brightest dilithium crystals in the engine, but it does mean I have less competition."
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Thanks!
Just a lil' trick using a "shadow catching" feature in Poser. 
Sincerely,
Bill
Gorn: "Thissssss isssss the mannnn who hassss beeeen picking onnnn meeeeee."
Godzilla Gorn: "You got a problem with my little brother, PUNK?!"
Kirk: "Oh.......shit."
Kirk: "Kirk to Enterprise, better beam Sulu down here."
Sulu filtered through communicator: "Is that fat ham ethnic profiling me again?"
Noel: "Believe me, Captain, it's normal to have second thoughts at this stage, but you really needn't worry. I promise you she won't feel a thing...and by this time tomorrow, Doctor Noel will be gone and you'll have me: your own private sexbot, identical to her in every way, but programmed to fulfill your every need and desire. Don't worry, Captain! The Stepford Corporation has been doing this for centuries!"
"Catching" or "casting"? I suspect the latter.Thanks!
Godzilla: "My son tells me you've been bullying him!"
*** *** ***
Sincerely,
Bill
If this doesn't make the WIN, there will be some serious judging FAIL around here.
"Catching" or "casting"? I suspect the latter.Thanks!
Seriously, the former. If I want to place a digital model upon a 2D backdrop as I've done here and make blend more believably into the scene, I can add a plane and within its material properties "check" a box labeled "shadow catching only". The plane "catches" the shadow cast upon it while the plane itself remains invisible in the final render. It the light source and plane are aligned properly, angled to the horizon and vanishing points correctly, the final effect is almost flawless.
This was far from flawless. If I had angled the shadow to point toward the central vanishing point, it would have overlapped the Gorn almost completely. I would have needed to use an image editor to "layer" the render over the original screen capture and then use an "eraser" tool to rub out the shadow crossing the Gorn. Since this was just for a cheap "gag" and not a serious composition, I fudged the position of the shadow and deemed it "good enough for gov'ment work".
Sincerely,
Bill
That's very kind of you, but honestly, there are some very clever entries here. I feel the one's with brilliant word play are the ones that should really get the glory.
Besides, it's not like we're vying for physical prizes.
Uh, are we?
Sincerely,
Bill
Spock: If I were human I believe I would tell you two to fuck off this bitch is mine. (McCoy turns to Spock) If I were human.
Godzilla Gorn: "My baby here tells me you're the daddy."
Kirk: <under his breath> "aw shit."
Gorn Captain: "No, ffor Iowa, you mussst go back to I-5. Go over
Kirk: "Something tells me we're not in Iowa anymore."
Grapevine, take Taffft Highway exssit near Bakersssffield."
Sorry about the duct tape thing. I thought you knew.
Kirk: Don't cry, Shopgirl. Don't cry.
Gorn:I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.
<violin music swells>
GORN: Charming spot. Inspiring prospects. Let's go.
KIRK: We can't.
GORN: Why not?
KIRK: We're waiting for Godot.
GORN: Ah! You're sure it was here?
KIRK: What?
GORN: That we were to wait.
KIRK: He said by the tree. Do you see any others?
GORN: What is it?
KIRK: I don't know. A willow.
GORN: Where are the leaves?
KIRK: It must be dead.
GORN: No more weeping.
KIRK: Or perhaps it's not the season.
GORN: Looks to me more like a bush.
KIRK: A shrub.
GORN: A bush.
KIRK: A—. What are you insinuating? That we've come to the wrong place?
GORN: He should be here.
KIRK: He didn't say for sure he'd come.
GORN: And if he doesn't come?
KIRK: We'll come back tomorrow.
GORN: And then the day after tomorrow.
KIRK: Possibly.
GORN: And so on.
KIRK: The point is—
GORN: Until he comes.
KIRK: You're merciless.
GORN: We came here yesterday.
KIRK: Ah no, there you're mistaken.
GORN: What did we do yesterday?
KIRK: What did we do yesterday?
GORN: Yes.
KIRK: Why... Nothing is certain when you're about.
GORN: In my opinion we were here.
KIRK: You recognize the place?
GORN: I didn't say that.
KIRK: Well?
GORN: That makes no difference.
KIRK: All the same... that tree... that bog...
GORN: You're sure it was this evening?
KIRK: What?
GORN: That we were to wait.
KIRK: He said Saturday. (Pause.) I think.
GORN: You think.
KIRK: I must have made a note of it.
GORN: But what Saturday? And is it Saturday? Is it not rather Sunday? Or Monday? Or Friday?
KIRK: It's not possible!
GORN: Or Thursday?
KIRK: What'll we do?
GORN: If he came yesterday and we weren't here you may be sure he won't come again today.
KIRK: But you say we were here yesterday.
GORN: I may be mistaken. Let's stop talking for a minute, do you mind?
KIRK: All right.
Kirk: "So, now what?"
Gorn: "Wait for Shatmandu?"
Kirk: "Wasn't he here already?"
Gorn: "He was, but not now..."
Kirk: "But..."