Voyager Caption This: Whodunit

As you know, every 7 years, Vulcan males experience an irresistable urge to redecorate a room.

 

Janeway (thinking): If Tuvok keeps yammering on like this, we'll never get back to Earth.

 

Tuvok: "I have brought you all here, because murder has been committed, and one of you is the killer."

Janeway: "You believe I'm a suspect?"

Tuvok: "Madam, I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one. But this much is certain, trying to stop this investigation, an attempt was made on my life. My superior reflexes protected me, but poor Neelix...they nearly blew his little mottled skin off! As it is he'll be in sickbay for weeks."

 

Tuvok: "For the first pick in Voyager's fantasy football draft, Mr. Paris has selected...Randy Moss, wide receiver of the New England Patriots."

Janeway: "Damn!"

 

Tuvok: The First Annual Voyager Olympics was a great success. Um...will the Cow Pie Throwing competitors please head to the showers so the rest of us can continue to breathe?

 

"Hello. My name is Tuvok. And I am an Alcoholic."




"You know, you guys really aren't helping."

 

Good one!

 

Tuvok: "She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round."

 

"As I mentioned earlier, .oO don't stare at their heads Oo. it would be most illogical .oO don't stare at their heads Oo. to assume that Mr. Paris was involved .oO don't stare at their heads Oo."




Kate Mulgrew: "and here's to getting rid of that whiny-assed Jennifer Lien!"

Jennifer Lien: "I'm standing right here!"

 

I thank you all for attending the scheduled festivities. Unfortunately, I must announce that we are still unable to obtain a Wii due to a lack of supply, so we will have to settle yet again for the holodek.



... and now to show my sentimental, sensitive side...


To us. No matter what some of the so-called "fans" think, this was Star Trek, and it was damn good. They'll miss us when we're gone.

... and we have...

 

Tuvok: I can announce that we have found a way back to Earth, but we can never go home. A warship called the Battlestar Galactica got there first, and they'll kick our asses if we get within 10 light years of it.

 

Tuvok (thinking): Must not stare at Mrs. Ren...must not stare at Mrs. Ren...ah hell, too late. Hopefully no one's looking down there.

 

Tuvok failed to read the fine print when agreeing to appear on the the new reality series "The Logic of Love".

 

Brilliant! Give that man the 10 thousand dollars.

 

The real pain is that contestants are kicked off the show through kalifee.