Trek XI Caption Contest #4: Trailer Hitch

"Wonder if it's too late to ask them to install a bowling alley...?"




Sarek: "I swear to Surak, if you don't stop carrying around that sehlat cub like a baby I'm going to divorce you!"

The lass at helm may have a poker face, but Chekov sure didn't when he read the message she sent him on the chat screen: "Vhat is this 'svirl' she speaks of?"





Scotty got 'swirlie' and 'the swirl' mixed up.

 

Chekov: Vhere the hell is the anit-matter reducer? This. No. This?





Scotty: Well, laddie, I can tell you it's not that big white joystick thingee next to your console... that one's for the ship's head!

 

Evel Knievel finally got a chance to do his unltimate stunt: Jump the Enterprise.




Welcome to the Bazaar of the future! With slot machines up front, handy electronic checkouts, a hostess station, and a urinal in the back, modestly located behind a clear glass partition!

CHECKOV: "I hate these stupid electronic checkouts."

 

"Ahhhhh, come on laddie.

Have ye never heard of bobbin' for apples in a zero-G toilet?"



AMANDA:"He has your eyes.

And my penchant for dating Gen-X actors."




CHEKOV:"De ship...she's not turning, sir! I keep hitting de PS2 buttons and de Sega compensator...but she's still listing!"

 

"Man, they should've built this on Earth"

 

"Oh boy, I can't wait to fly on the USS... Yorktown??? Damn you JJ!!"

 

The new bridge really does resemble the iStore.

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KIRK(screaming):"It BETTER have more than one toilet, assholes!!!!"

 

"Aye, lads.

I've got oily skin. Bloody problem back in high school. Kids all called me haggis face."



AMANDA:"I love you, my husband."

SAREK:"I love you...she who is my wife."

DISTANT VOICE SCREAMING:"Oh, just shut the hell up and DO IT already!!! I'm losing my wood here!!!"



Starfleet's brand new bridge console designs from the Nintendo Corporation back on Earth looked great...but had severe drawbacks whenever a starship had to hunt Space Ducks.

 

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What's everyone got against the Yorktown, anyway?

 

"One day...

I'm gonna fly to the stars on you! And nail lots of green-skinned chicks in tinfoil bikinis!"

 

"Whatchu bloody talkin' 'bout, Commander Willis?"

 

Random red shirt guy- Nope, the bastards spent all the resources on extending the deflector area to look like a penis

 

"Can you hold the ship steady, Pavel?

I'm splashing the bulkhead back here...and these are NEW BOOTS!"

 

Sarek: "I have successfully located a future wife for our son. She is T'Pring, daughter of my roommate from the Science Academy."

Amanda: "The asshole that kept stealing your dates? Let's hope the kid doesn't grow up to be a total bitch."

 

SAREK:"You're lovelier than on the day I coldly and impersonally met and almost ignored you."

 

Kirk: "I wonder if they got my memo about putting peepholes in all the ladies rooms."

 

"Great.

South-of-the-Quadrant labor. I'll NEVER be able to communicate and ask them anything."

 

Scotty: "Oh, I get it now. You beam good ol' Scotty out of his shower to get back for all the surveillance cameras I installed in your showers. Well, it just happens that..."

Kirk: "Shut up!"