Now that I've re-read it, the overall story made more sense and I must say, hats off to you for managing such a complex plot! The only thing overall that I had a little trouble with, characterization-wise, was Picard. He always struck me as cautious to a fault, almost timid thanks to his constant moral concerns and other reservations, so to have him go charging in to activate the Gate system without a thorough investigation and then to have Vash be the voice of reason...that was a little difficult to swallow.
It shows the author paid attention to characterizations in actual canon instead of how most of fanon chooses to sees the characters. Having Vash be the more cautious in this instance fits with canon. In the episode Captain's Holiday, Vash stopped Picard from just handing over the Tox Uthat to the Vorgon criminals who had attempted to steal it in the first place. Again, the author has utilized the Picard and Vash characters perfectly here. Warmest Wishes, Whoa Nellie
This was really an exceptional story! While I usually cringe at time travel escapades, you managed to pull this off in a concise and thoroughly entertaining manner. I've always had a soft spot for The Doctor / Joe Smith and you captured him brilliantly. Very well done!
I promised an explanation of sorts. Here it is. Postscript Over a year ago I wrote a Next Generation piece with the working title Picard1. That story withered when I ran out of ideas-writer’s block, if you will. Then one night a few months ago I began the story of Joe Smith from “Living Witness”, encompassing his return to Earth after nine hundred years. Joe, a back-up version of The Doctor, had been dug up in an archeological find on an alien planet in the Delta Quadrant. After serving the societies there for a while he took a ship to go back to the Alpha Quadrant. I found that intriguing and picked it up with his return. I was writing my way through his tale when I tossed in a line about Picard being responsible for the destruction of the Federation. Then lightning struck. I had left Vash staring into the first room in the Preserver chamber saying, “Oh, my God! Jean Luc, you have to see this!” I didn't know what the hell she'd seen. I suddenly realized that I had the build up surrounding Picard already written. I combined the two tales in my posts on the BBS to create Remnants. I continued to write Joe’s story as a separate tale from Picard’s, cutting and pasting as I went so as not to get too confused about who was where. It wasn’t until Chapter 8 of Remnants that I finally began writing one story together instead of 2 separate ones. Here’s the kicker, the part that cracked me up. With the exception of the Next Generation part of the story up to the point where Picard and Vash first opened the Preserver chamber, I wrote the entire story under the influence. That’s right, without an outline or a timeline to keep things straight, I only wrote late at night after I’d been drinking. Not that I wrote or drank every night-but I didn’t touch the story unless I’d “had a few”. I don’t even remember writing the bit about the house and the female corpse-I’d gone to play poker with my buds that night and woke up the next morning trying to figure out what I’d done after coming home. Imagine my horror at realizing I’d not only wrote a chapter of my story but I’d posted it online! I was soooo freaking out that Saturday! Now, almost everyone was highly complimentary of the tale and I thank you. In response to the few bits of criticism I received- The Picard that activated the gates-impulsive and reckless? You mean the same guy who chased his Professor’s clues half-way across the galaxy, risking the Khitomer Accords and war with the Romulans to find the answers? Or the one that appeared in “Captain’s Holiday”? Or the one that was willing to risk death to secure the Iconian gate secrets in the face of Romulan aggression? That’s the guy I was writing about-a man who showed his weaknesses when he indulged his passions, a man who realized that and (usually) kept himself under tight control to avoid trouble. The same man who needed an artificial heart when he lost his head and attacked a Naussican. A passionate man. As for the ending being “rushed”. No, it wasn’t. It took me 50 WORD pages to reach the ending I envisioned back around Chapter Three. I knew Joe’s failure would bear within it the seeds of success. That was the point of the story. That no action, attempted with good faith, is a failure. The “theme”, if you will. And, finally, yes, those pathetic little creatures from that TOS episode were Iconians-not the super-Iconians of my story but actual, slightly degenerate descendants of the originals. I believe one was named “Sylvia” in the episode. I may go back and explore it one day-the whole Iconian thing. Ironically, the story was supposed to be about the Preservers-I’ve never been happy with what I’ve read about them in the fan fic I’ve found(and I’ve read a LOT) so I wanted to tell their tale. Someday, maybe I will, but this story took off in directions I never saw coming. It seemed to work out, though, and I thank you all for reading.
*sigh* I'm teetotal, what hope is there for my writing? Maybe if I hold my nose and swallow down the shots like medicine...
Hey, I am a firm believer in whatever works. Bravo! Absolutely! Well put! I agree completely! I'll add to this what I stated earlier in this thread. In canon, Picard does not have the best track record with archaeological artifacts having been involved in the destruction of an Iconian gateway, a Promellian battle cruiser, the Stone of Gol as well as the Tox Uthat. In my stories dealing with the Picard/Vash pairing, I have Vash referring to these as his litany of archaeological sins. Although, Vash is the more outwardly brazen of the two (her trip to Sarthong V), she is also shown to be the shrewder of the two by far. In the episode Captain's Holiday she stopped Picard from just handing over the Tox Uthat to the Vorgon criminals who had attempted to steal it in the first place. Look at Picard and Vash's actions in the episode Qpid. Q had told Picard that the entity had no control over what happened in the Robin Hood scenario and that at noon the next day the whole thing ends. Midway through Q is in an absolute panic; Vash has beaten him by talking her way out of the execution. Once Picard found out Vash was all right, he should have headed back to Sherwood Forest or just stayed hidden in the shadows to keep an eye on things. At noon the next day, if Vash hadn't managed to escape, they would have gone through with the little mock wedding; then poof, they would have all been back on the Enterprise. No blood, no foul. Again here, his passions are his undoing as they drive his 'white knight off to save his fair maiden' complex resulting in he and his crew engaging in a battle that wasn't necessary. Q's victory was proving that Picard acted rashly due to his passion for Vash. "All for the love of a maid." Thank you for such a well-written, enjoyable story dealing with my favorite pairing. Warmest Wishes, Whoa Nellie
Thank you, Nelly. Glad to hear my postscript made sense. I wrote it the same way I wrote the story-it only seemed appropriate.
Whoa. Not only has this been really fricken interesting so far, but this last chapter here is mind-blowingly cool. Edging between mystery and horror flick, it's unsettling enough to have a big impact. Great writing!
That... is just so, so cool. It's brilliant how the legends and lore of different eras culminated in this sort of thing. Even though you wrote this under the influence, it's definitely a fascinating story.
Fine little jaunt! It was quick, clever and genuinely fun to read. Kinda like the ultimate time-travel tale should be. I really did enjoy going along, and the end made me smile bigtime. Very, very nice.