Facts About Captain Robau

If Robau posts on his blog that he likes Police Academy 8, then the Academy will nominate it for every possible Oscar category, i.e. ...

Best Supporting Actor
G.W. Bailey - Police Academy 8
Bobcat Goldthwait - Police Academy 8
David Graf - Police Academy 8
Bubba Smith - Police Academy 8
Michael Winslow - Police Academy 8

 

And it will win them all because Robau is THAT awesome.

 

You have the right to sing the blues (with Captain Robau). You have the right to cable TV (all the programs will be about Captain Robau). You have the right to paint the walls, but only Robau's favorite colors.

 

Robau thinks that's pretty freakin' funny.

 

Actually, "Infinite diversity in infinite combinations" refers to the numbers, types and various combinations of ways that Robau could kill you.

 

Robau once crushed a man with his pinky.

 

Robau has seen the entire second season of Firefly.

 

Robau was so displeased after watching "These are The Voyages..." that he willed an NX-class into being and made his own Enterprise series finale starring himself in every role at the same time. Upon being viewed by a test audience, Robau was forced to cancel his version from being broadcast because the entire test audience died of spontaneous cerebral overload caused by the shear brilliance, depth, and gloriousness of Robau's vision.

 

The reason Voyager's torpedoes were able to easily tear through a Borg cube is because they were filled with the essence of Robau.

He did the same with Voyager.

 

"chk-chk ROBAU!!!," said the shotgun to the head.

 

kirk didnt scale [COLOR=#2200cc]mt capitan[/COLOR], he climed up Captain Robeau's greatness, and he shook him off like a flee

Captain Robeau's d!%K is so big its measured in light years

 

That information is top-secret; prepare for the wrath of Robau.

 

The painful painful wrath of Robau.

 

The painful, yet delightfully musical wrath of Robau.

 

Robau CAN speak Hovitos.

 

Robau's DNA contains a carefully encrypted code that, when decoded, tells humanity the meaning of life. Too bad it has proven impossible for geneticists to sequence Robau's genome.

 

don't like the name Robau do you

 

Robau got stranded in the Delta Quadrant once, but got back in less than one week by hijacking Borg cubes at phaser-point and seducing the Queen.

 

Robau used slipstream drive by rubbing two wooden sticks together really fast.

 

Robau once broke the warp barrier with a stream of his own urine.