Facts About Captain Robau

We are all his lost follicles.

All we are is hair in the wind.

 

Robau has upgraded his 386 to Windows 7. Trust me when "motivated" by Robau, a 386 is more than enough to run Windows 7.

 

That and Captain Robau can transfer a portion of his badassness to his computer so it can run anything and never crash.

 

Robau can run Windows 7 but Windows 7 when run by Robau, becomes Windows Infinity. The last OS anyone would ever need

 

Robau would not stoop to Microsoft.

 

Robau wished me Happy Birthday. Via time travel. And smacking me on the head with a frying pan.

 

You are so honored.

 

Captain Robau can run Windows on an abacus.

 

Robau is the only known person to have won the World Series, the Superbowl and the Stanley Cup... All on the same day... by himself against all 3 other teams simultaneously... blindfolded... with one arm tied behind his back...

 

Robau has 18/00 Strength. Yeah, that's right. He's 1st Edition, bitches.

 

Robau built the Kelvin in a cave. With a box of scraps.

 

Captain Robau can hit one over the center field fence with both arms tied behind his back. If you know what I mean.

 

Robau can mock Christopher Walken without fear.

 

When Robau burps, quantum singularities are created.

 

When Robau farts, entire galaxies spring into being.

 

When he poos... new life is created

 

When he burps, continents shift.

 

Slim Jims are made of dead skin cells from Robau.

Except his skin cells don't die. They just take a nap.

 

You know that wheel in the sky?
Robau turns it.